Lindsays new movie is all full frontal nudity and sex

By brendon June 14, 2012 @ 4:10 PM

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Lindsay Lohan might be having second thoughts about starring in ‘The Canyons’ with a male porn star, perhaps because the girl who once said she’d never be naked in a movie because it’s not necessary to win an Oscar would be doing graphic sex scenes with an actor who starred in Anal Hell 2 and 4, Grand Theft Anal 8, 10, and 11, and Down the Hatch 14, 15, 16, 17, 19, 20, 21, and 22.

A source tells Radar:

“Lindsay and her team are concerned about the nudity that is involved. Lindsay would be required to do full frontal nudity, and the sex scenes are very, very graphic. Yes, Lindsay has posed nude for Playboy, but doing it in a movie is completely different. Lindsay needs to make sure that she is comfortable with it, and that this is something she can handle as an artist.”

It sorta seems like someone just figured out it would be pretty easy to trick Lindsay into doing porn. I’ve seen legit movies described before, and they don’t sound anything like this.

She’d end up on the set of ‘Backdoor Gangbang’ if someone just translated that to French and the script said ‘Détourné Viol Collectif’ on the cover. She might ask why she has no dialogue, and you could tell her it’s like ‘The Artist’, and she wouldn’t suspect a thing until she was on her hands and knees in a locker room and the director yelled ‘Action’.

(image source of lindsay on the set of ‘liz and dick’, with bruises on her knees that the photo agency politely attributed to her car wreck = inf)

that’s perfect Eva Longoria, don’t move

By brendon June 14, 2012 @ 2:32 PM

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Eva Longoria is in Monte Carlo today to promote ‘Desperate Housewives’ during the 52nd Monte Carlo TV Festival, though that was probably obvious as soon as you saw her titty-fucking a giant gold statue with her head. There’s no explanation needed, that says “watch Desperate Houswives” all by itself.

(image source = getty)

Miley Cyrus has a fiancé. This isnt him.

By brendon June 14, 2012 @ 1:52 PM

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While Liam Hemsworth is off filming a movie in New Orleans, his fiancé Miley Cyrus spent yesterday in the pool with her friend Cheyne Thomas, and then on her hands and knees while her friend Cheyne Thomas stared at her ass.

Liam probably has nothing to worry about though, because Cheyne spells his name in the queerest way possible, and looks like someone put a pencil in a bathing suit.

(image source = bauer griffin, fame/flynet)

Drake beat up Chris Brown over Rihanna (update!)

By brendon June 14, 2012 @ 12:55 PM

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Chris Brown, literally the least sympathetic ass-whooping victim on earth, had his ass whooped last night in New York after a fight broke out between him and Drake over Rihanna. “Hahaha”, said Everyone.

Rumor has it that Rihanna cheated on Brown with Drake while the two were going out, and the two have been at loggerheads ever since.
Brown (reportedly) tried to bury the hatchet by sending a bottle of champagne to Drake’s table at New York’s WIP nightclub, but the bottle was promptly returned with a message that read “I’m f*ckng the love of your life [Rihanna], deal with it.”
An altercation ensued, during which Drake allegedly punched Chris in the face before “someone” cracked his chin open with a bottle.

And Brown even tweeted the picture of his busted chin above, because, as it turns out, having someone stronger than you beat your ass for no reason kinda sucks. My only issue is that they were at a club and not a Renaissance fair where Drake could have hit Brown with a mace or pulled him apart with horses.

DELIGHTFUL UPDATE – now with pictures of blood on Browns Escalade, and if you didn’t think he deserved to get smashed in the face with a bottle before, please note that he replaced his Cadillac emblem with one of Optimus Prime.

(sorry to disappear yesterday btw. I’ve had some health issues for the past few months and every now and then it really fucks me up)

Lindsay had an open container when she crashed

By brendon June 12, 2012 @ 6:42 PM

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This is a story from 2007 about Lindsay Lohan hiding alcohol, probably straight vodka, in a water bottle because she thinks people won’t notice as someone gets drunk, seemingly for no reason, right before their eyes. This is a story from 2011 about the same thing, because she was still doing it 4 years later.

And this is a story about her car crash on Friday, because despite 6 trips to rehab and 5 to jail, she’s still “hiding” vodka in water bottles.

…cops confiscated a plastic water bottle from the trunk of the Porsche, and our law enforcement sources tell us the bottle contained alcohol.
It’s not a violation to carry an open container in a trunk, so Lindsay is in the clear. And according to cops she had no alcohol in her system.

That seems very hard to believe. Lindsay couldn’t pass a drug test even if it was true-false.
“Are you drunk?”
“Yes.”
“Seriously?”
“Yes. Wait, shit, NO, I meant to say no.”

the guy who was eaten by a zombie is awake!

By brendon June 12, 2012 @ 4:50 PM

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The homeless man who had his face chewed off in the Miami Zombie attack last month got up and walked around for the first time today, and I’m gonna level with you; the headline picture has been altered. I used a computer and changed it. He doesn’t really look like that (he looks like this, and it’s graphic and awful and disturbing).

But he is recovering, and doctors described him as “awake and alert”, though if any of them noticed that he looks like Rorschach from ‘Watchmen’ now they didn’t mention it.

Read more >

Kanye really wants to marry Kim Kardashian. Still.

By brendon June 12, 2012 @ 4:10 PM

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An unnamed source (Kris Jenner) tells Us magazine that Kanye West is completely in love with Kim Kardashian and wants to marry her, just in case you forgot when an unnamed source told Us magazine the same thing 6 weeks ago.

“They’re seriously talking marriage. And yes, she would [accept his proposal].”
But tying the knot isn’t the only thing on (his) mind.
“Kanye says he can’t wait to see her carrying his child,” a source revealed. “He says she will look beautiful pregnant.”

Oh ok. So Kris Jenners’ new planted media story adds that Kanye wants to get Kim pregnant, but also says “they’re seriously talking marriage”, whereas before they were “very serious” and “talking marriage.” The space between the quotes last time really threw me off. What am I, a fucking mind reader?

Lindsay is right on the verge of doing porn

By brendon June 12, 2012 @ 3:14 PM

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These are all quotes from an interview Lindsay Lohan did with E! in 2009:

– “I don’t drink, I don’t do drugs and I don’t lie. I love to act and write and be creative, and I want to help people by playing characters that can send a positive message out to whomever may need it.”
– “I’d like to have my own charity, do work overseas, be in Oscar-nominated films, write movies, produce movies/shows/videos, design clothes, make music, write books, etc.”
- “It’s all possible if people would just stop judging me and accusing me and making me out to be this aloof, spoiled, ungrateful and unprofessional person that I am not and could never be.”

Speaking of E!, today they say Lindsay will star with James Deen, who has been in over 1200 porn movies, in “a sex fueled thriller” that was financed on kickstarter called ‘The Canyons’.

So clearly Lindsay was right. People used to say she was a pathological drunk but it was like yelling at a cat, she couldn’t have cared less. She stuck to her guns and now everything she talked about has come to pass.

So, how does Lindsay feel about working with a porn star?
“The appeal of this role for Lindsay is getting to work with Paul Schrader,” the source said. “He’s an amazing filmmaker and it’s an amazing role for her. She couldn’t be happier. Although if she’d had a problem with James Deen, she wouldn’t have pursued the role.”

Actually if anyone is slumming here it’s Deen, if for no other reason than his risk of getting an STD actually just went up.

(image source = fame/flynet)