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people dont like Gwyneth Paltrow because theyre lazy and jealous

Gwyneth Paltrow is out promoting her new cookbook this week, and before we get to the part where she explains why some people don't like her, here are a few quotes from the book. Maybe there will be some hints in there. "I had my first bowl of gazpacho when I was fifteen in Spain, and the impression it made was a lasting one." Ahh yes, who could forget. Oh, did you not spend your summers in Spain as a teenager? Oh...read more

Friday morning headlines

LINDSAY LOHAN - was believed to be the favorite to play Victoria Gotti because Gotti is friends with Lindsays mom and was demanding it. Not true. "Though it was said that I insisted she play my part, that's not true. I didn't insist and actually have no say in who gets the part." So if Lindsay gets it, it will be because she was perfect for the role. Nothing says "Italian" more than pink skin and freckles. (page six)...read more

Superman will get beaten up by a girl too

I think most people were so glad when Michael Shannon was cast as General Zod in the Superman reboot, if only because it meant we wouldn't have to see another dumbass Lex Luther movie if nothing else, that they pretty much stopped paying attention to the casting after that. But now Latino Review says there will be a second villain as well; a girl. A girl serial killer. A girl serial killer who hates men and with a...read more

Warner Bros is getting tired of Charlie Sheen

Charlie Sheen (seen here being mobbed by ones of fans as he arrives in Toronto for another "Torpedo of Truth" show) has been saying lately that he's in talks with Warner Bros. about returning to Two and a Half Men, and even said there's an 85 percent chance that they'll ask him to come back. This is all news to Warner Bros. of course, because none of that is actually happening, so today they sent a letter to Sheens...read more

Hayden Panettiere is adorable

Hayden Panettiere isn't really my thing, but she looked fantastic last night at a benefit in Santa Monica for the Surfrider Foundation. She's sexy and cute at the same time, and that's hard to do. To top this she'd have to lay on the floor naked and play with baby tigers and pandas. (image source = getty)read more

Amanda Seyfried collects dead animals

Amanda Seyfried spent last week with her boyfriend Ryan Phillippe in Paris, one of the most romantic cities in the world, where a young couple in love can drink champagne at Les Ombres, taken an evening cruise down the Seine as the lights shine on Notre Dame, or buy a dead horse. Guess which one Amanda did. "I bought a dead horse. I love good taxidermy, it's like art. A lot of people think it's weird but I don't know...read more

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Jessica Simpson uses her boobs to get out of tickets

For now let's just ignore how dumb it is for People to have Jessica Simpson on the 2011 Most Beautiful list, I'm sure I'm go in to great detail about that later, for now let's deal with the other dumb part of her profile, and that is her claim that her tits get her out of parking tickets. Being well-endowed since sixth grade, the blonde bombshell points out that "there's no way to hide them as much as you want to...read more

Shakira was robbed in the middle of a song

Shakira gave a concert in Monterrey, Mexico, last week, and new video shows that while walking through the crowd and touching hands with her fans, one of them pulled a ring right off her damn finger. E! says... Shakira quickly noticed that her bauble had been deftly and dastardly removed, but as the perp had already disappeared into the crowd—and she was already midsong—after glancing first at her suddenly ringless...read more

Charlie Sheen hints he'll get his job back, is lying

Charlie Sheen has done everything but beg for his job back at Two and a Half Men, saying he would do it for the fans when in reality he's desperate for money, but no matter what the reason, Sheen said tonight it might really happen. Deadline writes... Sheen has been hinting about a possible return to Two and a Half Men for the past week. Tonight, he dropped the biggest hint so far in a radio interview with Boston...read more

Catherine Zeta Jones is bi-polar

The last time we saw Catherine Zeta Jones, she was in London to receive a medal from Prince Charles (wait, what?). She was with her husband Michael Douglas, going through a crowd of paparazzi and then screaming, "How dare you punch me" like a crazy woman (video here). Now it turns out she is crazy. Crazy about hats? Yes! But also regular crazy too. Catherine Zeta-Jones has checked into a hospital for Bipolar II...read more

Scarlett Johansson moved in with Sean Penn

Scarlett Johansson and Sean Penn have only been dating for two months, in part because she only announced she was divorcing Ryan Reynolds four months ago, but today Us magazine says she's already moved in to his house in Malibu. Wow what an idiot. Is he dying or something? Relocating from her temporary digs at a West Hollywood hotel, the recently divorced 26-year-old "has essentially moved in over the last few weeks,"...read more

“Wait, don’t leave! I’m not done!’’

Fresh from getting boo'd off the stage in New York, Charlie Sheen took his show to Boston last night and proved he can drive audiences away no matter where he goes. The Boston Globe says... Just before 10 last night, as hundreds of disgusted spectators streamed toward the exits at Agganis Arena, Charlie Sheen shouted from the stage: "Wait, don't leave! I'm not done!'' But most of them kept right on going, and who...read more

oh f**k you, People magazine

People magazine has named Jennifer Lopez as the Worlds Most Beautiful Woman, and they must mean off on some fantasy world because that's a ridiculous fucking statement. She's ok looking when she's all dressed up (*), but she still has a big ass and no tits. She's round, smooth, orange and rotten inside. People just named a pumpkin as the most beautiful woman on earth. (*) my original plan was to post new pictures of...read more

Lindsay Lohan is still pretending to be in movies

Lindsay Lohan joined John Travolta at a press conference in New York this morning to promote their new movie about John Gotti. Granted Lindsay isn't actually in it yet, but she's supposed to play Gottis daughter Victoria, who was also there along with her brother, a good sign that this movie will be unbiased and won't have some kind of agenda. Now try and guess why Lindsay is being considered. "I've known [Victoria]...read more

Scarlett Johansson isn't pregnant, just fat

If one day you put on clothes that aren't tailor made to hide all your flaws and suddenly people see that you're kind of chubby, so much so that your publicist has to officially declare that there's not a second person inside of you, that's maybe not the most flattering thing in the world. In a related story Scarlett Johansson went jogging with Sean Penn yesterday. "Scarlett is not pregnant," the rep says in a...read more