Bieber got high, banged a nurse, lost Selena Gomez

By brendon January 23, 2013 @ 1:46 PM

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In case it wasn’t clear before, Justin Bieber is a little faggot. Not in the sense that he has sex with other men (presumably), I don’t think anyone uses “faggot” in reference to gay guys anymore, but because he’s just such a little faggot. Case in point: Star magazine says Selena Gomez ended their two year relationship after he got high and had sex with a nursing student.

On December 21, (Bieber) and rapper Lil Twist and nursing student Milyn “Mimi” Jenson around 6 p.m at the Beverly Hills Four Seasons.
“They all went to buy weed at a smoke shop on Olympic Blvd. in Hollywood,” the insider said, “then they got food at McDonald’s and went back to the hotel.”
At the hotel, the group smoked marijuana and drank a chemical concoction known as “sizzurp” throughout the night. From there, they went to the Baby singer’s $6.6 million Calabasas mansion, where Justin opened up about his fondness for tattoos and Xanax, as well as his plans to build a hookah room in the house.
After that, Justin held Mimi’s hand, and showed her the breathtaking view from his backyard. The insider said that Mimi said Justin was really kind, romantic — and stoned — after he’d been “smoking pot all night.”

Maybe I’m just old fashioned, but I believe that if you have a girlfriend, you don’t cheat, you stay loyal to her unless you have a chance to bang someone hotter, which is really really unlikely considering the girlfriend was Selena Gomez. Seems like Justin Bieber has a lot to learn about being a gentleman.

(image source = promo pics for spring breakers)

Aida Yespica is incredible, needs to grow up

By brendon January 23, 2013 @ 11:21 AM

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Oh okay. So I guess I’m supposed to think that, a week after we broke up, Italian-Venezuelan model Aida Yespica just happened to be on Miami beach in a bikini in front of a bunch of photographers. Uh-huh. Yeah, Aida, I see you, happy now? These little games are what caused our problems to begin with. I mean sure the sex was great, but that was mostly because of me if we’re being honest here.

(image source = splash)

“Olympus Has Fallen” has a cool trailer

By brendon January 22, 2013 @ 5:02 PM

If a movie about the White House being attacked by terrorists with only one bad-ass left behind to save everyone sounds good, you’re in luck, because there’s two of those exact movies coming out soon. ‘White House Down‘ has Channing Tatum blankly starring at things while rescuing President Jamie Foxx, while the more dramatically named ‘Olympus Has Fallen’ has Gerard Butler grumbling cliches while saving President Aaron Eckhart and then sorta President Morgan Freeeman.

So now the questions are; which movie will tell the same story in a more exciting way, and if “down” and “fallen” are the code for being attacked, what would they say if the White House were to literally fall down?

(source = quicktime)

Katy Perry is patriotic

By brendon January 21, 2013 @ 6:32 PM

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Katy Perry was with John Mayer today at the second (and pointless) inauguration of President Obama, but more to the point she looked really hot at the The Kids Inaugural event. Because little kids love politics. Who could forget how captivated they were by the senates debate on trade tariffs in Star Wars Episode I. Amazing they never made a game out of that.

Point being, Katy looked hot in her little stars and stripes outfit. She’s like if Captain America fucked Wonder Woman and they had a girl.

(image source =getty, splash)

Britney has no bra, engagment ring

By brendon January 21, 2013 @ 5:58 PM

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Britney Spears was out in LA today holding a sweater or something over her chest to hide the fact that she wasn’t wearing a bra.The only idea more clever than that would be to actually wear a bra. But she’s single now so I guess she has to sex it up. And it’s working. I haven’t given Britney much thought lately, but now I’m rubbing my chin and thinking, “Tits, eh… how interesting.”

(image source = wenn, fame/flynet)

Brooke Burke is more like it

By brendon January 21, 2013 @ 1:16 PM

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Brooke Burke is 41 now, but she still looks incredible, and I know she has two kids which would normally be a deal-breaker because kids are awful and I hate them, but that’s what English boarding schools are for, and crooked adoption agencies who don’t ask a lot of questions about where the kid came from.

(image source of brooke yesterday after a workout in malibu – fame/flynet)

screw you Chris Hemsworth

By brendon January 21, 2013 @ 12:41 PM

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I used to like Australia because of their very long list of physically perfect women, but lately, after seeing Hugh Jackman and Chris Hemsworth, I’m starting to think that their guys are the same way. Which totally fucks up my ‘John Carter’ type fantasy where my ordinariness in America is seen as magical and amazing down there and then later on I become king. But it was all a lie! They knew about Wolverine and Thor the whole time! You can go fuck yourself Australia!

(image source of hemsworth and his wife elsa pataky yesterday in costa rica =inf)

Jennifer Lopez is in a bikini, still an awful person

By brendon January 21, 2013 @ 12:03 PM

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These pictures of Jennifer Lopez and her sycophants I mean friends in bikinis on a yacht in Miami yesterday are kinda blurry, which is for the best because they’re pictures of Jennifer Lopez in a bikini. And her ass looks even more enormous when she wraps a towel around it. Can that really be just her ass under there? It looks like she’s shoplifitng.

(image source = fame/flynet, inf, bauer-griffin)