Chloe Sevigny wore this bikini

By brendon April 30, 2012 @ 11:21 AM

chloe_sevigny_bikini_miami_beach

Chloe Sevigny isn’t very good looking, and she doesn’t have a good body, so I think it was awfully big of me to look at her ass anyway. I’m an amazing man.

(image source of chloe on miami beach saturday = inf)

new ‘Prometheus’ trailer has more details, clanging sounds

By brendon April 30, 2012 @ 10:03 AM

Fox released a second international trailer for ‘Prometheus’ last night, and it explains much more about the story and characters than any of the previous trailers.

WHAT WE LEARNED: Charlize Theron is the icy corporate person sort of in charge of the whole thing, some aliens are cobra sized and bitey, and the great Idris Elba is not so great at a Texas accent.

WHAT WE ALREADY KNEW: I sure would like to fuck Charlize Theron.

Lindsay actually made it to Washington DC

By brendon April 30, 2012 @ 9:15 AM

lindsay_lohan_washington_dc_white_house_correspondents_dinner

Lindsay Lohan actually did make it to Washington DC late Friday night and did attend the White House Correspondents dinner on Saturday (with her attorney as a chaperone), where she smiled and waved on the red carpet, blissfully unaware that Fox News only invited her as a joke.

Some are saying that the fact that she made it on time with (almost) none of the behavior we’re used to is proof that she’s changed. Others would point out that the only reason this is even being mentioned is because she’s lowered our expectations to the point were the simple act of making the hastily arranged back-up flight instead of getting high until dawn for the third night in a row is a glorious victory.

(image source of lindsays bloated fingers, saggy boobs and the moment she spotted the open bar = getty, splash)

Lindsay partied until 6am, missed flight to meet the President

By brendon April 27, 2012 @ 6:36 PM

lohanlindsay_out_ff10_042612_9021411

Lindsay Lohan was expected to be on a plane to Washington D.C this afternoon so she could attend the White House Correspondents’ Dinner tomorrow night, but, shockingly, she missed the flight. There’s no official explanation for why she was late, but X17 does have a theory:

Lilo was partying until 6am this morning at a home in the Hollywood Hills. This was the second night in a row that she pulled an all-nighter at that house.
No wonder she missed the flight.

She’s now expected to be on a later flight, but who knows. Actually everyone knows, and Lindasy won’t be on that flight either because she’s a complete fuckup.

Kim Kardashian stole $1.2 million from people with cancer. Sort of.

By brendon April 27, 2012 @ 6:03 PM

ket_042612_9021106

When Kim Kardashian first announced that she was keeping her wedding gifts, she justified it by donating $200,000 to a charity, an amount twice what the presents were estimated to be worth.

Of course Kim was the one doing the estimating, and it turns out she gave herself a very generous discount.

Kris Humphries wants to know what happened to a $325,000 wedding gift that was given to him and Kim Kardashian, Radar is reporting.
The former couple received the extravagant gift from a very wealthy Malaysian businessman who attended their wedding … Humphries wants to know why (Kardashian) didn’t factor it in when she made a donation to charity.

They also say that Kim has used this gift “extensively”, and that the total value of the presents is actually $700,000, not $100,000. Meaning Kim slighted the charity for people with a terminal illness by $1.2 million. “They’ll just waste it on wigs or some shit,” Kim thought. “Whereas I actually need that money for more lip gloss and pants with an elastic seat.”

’30 Rock’ reminds us that blackface is always funny

By brendon April 27, 2012 @ 4:23 PM








For last nights live episode of ’30 Rock’, the cast performed the show twice (once for the east coast and once for the west) and one of the biggest differences (here’s 25 more) was right at the beginning, when Jack McBrayer led a guest into Alec Baldwins office. For the east coast, the guest was Paul McCartney. For the west, it was Kim Kardashian. Which seems like an overly complicated way of telling the west coast to go fuck itself.

Luckily one thing that stayed the same was Jon Hamm as Tracy Morgans brother in a 60’s sitcom called ‘Abner and Alfie’. Which looks like it would be a really good show. That ol’ Abner is all gettin into monkeyshines!

‘The Wanted’ say Christina Aguilera is a rude bitch

By brendon April 27, 2012 @ 3:28 PM

the-voice

‘The Wanted’ were guests on the April 13th episode of ‘The Voice’, and during an interview with a radio station this morning they were asked what that was like. You probably got the gist of their response from the headline. Vulture says:

(They were) asked about their recent ‘Voice’ appearance and let go on Christina Aguilera. “She’s a bitch!” Tom Parker yells three or four times. Then Siva confirms that she was “quite rude,” and Max spends a little while talking about how much hotter J. Lo is when compared to Christina.

Luckily for them, the Eskimo Pie factory wasn’t playing this station on their radio so Christina didn’t hear it.

Chris Brown is breeding and selling pit bulls now

By brendon April 27, 2012 @ 1:18 PM

pit_bull_puppies

Chris Brown is selling seven pit bull puppies for $1,000 each on a new site called CBBreeds. A name that actually sort of implies that he’s the one fucking the dogs and getting them pregnant but whatever.

A release from the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals Los Angeles (spcaLA) called Brown a “backyard breeder” and encouraged the singer to use his celebrity to encourage shelter adoptions.
“There is no reason to breed and produce more Pit Bull puppies when there are Pit puppies waiting for homes in every shelter in America,” said spcaLA President, Madeline Bernstein in the statement. “The $1000 price tag for a Chris Brown puppy could be better spent money saving the lives of shelter animals.”

What a dynamite idea. The only thing the public embraces more than guys who beat their girlfriends is young black guys who breed enormous pit bulls. This should get mainstream America back on his side in no time.