Tan Mom Is A Celebrity Boxer Now

Tomorrow night in Pennsylvania, Patricia Krentcil, AKA the Tan Mom, will be introduced to Ang Cottone, AKA MILF Mom, in a press conference for World Xtreme Entertainment's Celebrity Boxing. The two women have agreed to "fight" each other in a three-round boxing match,... read more

Avril Lavigne Must Be Stopped (VIDEO)

As fast as people can complain about what a terrible song and video it is, Avril Lavigne's latest, "Hello Kitty," is being pulled from YouTube, and that's probably a very good thing. Co-written by her husband Chad Kroeger, "Hello Kitty" is an orgy of awful sounds and... read more

Olivia Munn Is Getting Sloppy

Olivia Munn used to be fun. She's got those Eurasian looks that make dudes assume you could fuck her while watching a ballgame while women see right through her sinister shit and want to slit her yellow throat with an onyx blade while she slumbers. I might be... read more

Scary Spice Just Doesn't Give a Shit

I guess we all get to that age when it's just fuck it, I'm going to stick my hand up my ass in public. You would never peg a musical talent like Scary Spice to go thong hunting right there in Beverly Hills, but, dammit, she once lip-synched Wannabe to 100,000 adoring... read more

Nigeria Seems Like a Fun Place to Take the Kids

Sometimes, you look at a shithole and you think to yourself, man, that's the shittest shithole I ever did see. There's no way that shithole could be any shittier. That's the kind of thinking that leads me to believe you've never been to Nigeria. That shithole just got... read more

Jenna Dewan Tatum and Minnie Driver Are Almost Naked

I don't know who else is in here. Damn, I want to be Photoshopped like Minnie Driver. I could be a god. You can't even see her brown tooth or that plate of St. Louis style ribs she ate in '98 that stuck around her hips. Sorry, Minnie, please don't quit Twitter again.... read more

FEMEN Moves Their HQ

Nothing says we are legitimately angry dikes quite like picking Paris as your new international headquarters. That's exactly what the brave topless warriors of FEMEN have done, moving their yeast-filled Honeycomb Hideout from Maria's stepmother's basement in Kiev to one... read more

Kate Upton Makes It Hard To Follow Orders

Kate Upton has a lot of rules. The last one was about how you're not supposed to openly jizz thinking about her big yabbos, just adore them discreetly and pay with direct deposit or something. Girls who look like Kate Upton get to make all the rules. That seems fair... read more

Anastasia Ashley Has an Ass Built for Burgers

Mmm, burger and ass. That's only been the best combination since the dawn of time. Sometimes, I'll see a fine woman's ass in a bikini and think to myself, man, how fat would I have to get eating Carl's Jr. burgers before I could hit that. And I know she's looking at me... read more

Richard Gere Is Tantric-ing Padma Lakshmi

Pretty Woman Richard Gere has apparently been giving it to Top Chef hottie Padma Lakshmi. This in spite of the fact that he is currently in the middle of messily divorcing his wife Carey Lowell, a.k.a. that short haired model chick from Law & Order a decade ago. He... read more

Miranda Kerr Looks Tanned and Rested

I think somebody once called divorce a little death. But everybody seems to be pretty damn happy after divorce, as opposed to a funeral, where there are tears and suffering and loss. Though, in both cases, there is usually some opportunity for reckless sexual... read more

Khloe Kardashian Is Not Currently Screwing Her Brother

Big boned Kardashian sister Khloe made it clear that she is not having sex with her brother Rob. She made this revelation while she was guest hosting Chelsea Handler's horribly canned laugh track funny funny show. She and Rob are currently living together because Rob... read more