Irina Shayk In GQ Russia

What is it about a sexy woman laying on a bunch of new tires that is so damn enticing? Maybe it speaks to all the road adventures to be had, or just the raw sexuality of vulcanized rubber. I don't know, but suddenly a Plain Jane like Irina Shayk goes to looking like an... read more

Megan Fox Is April O'Neil On The Set Of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Megan Fox and Will Arnett spent yesterday filming some scenes for the upcoming Michael Bay-produced Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reboot in Manhattan, and it's kind of sad that I almost forgot that Megan was still an actress. Remember when everyone used to think she was... read more

Anthony Weiner Is Still Sorry About Being A Horny Pervert (VIDEO)

Anthony Weiner had been enjoying a pretty solid political comeback in the New York City democratic primary race for mayor, despite the fact that he resigned from Congress in total humiliating shame back in 2011. The reason for that, of course, was that he was using... read more

Amanda Bynes Almost Killed Her Dog

On Monday night, troubled former actress and wig aficionado Amanda Bynes was placed on a 5150 psychiatric hold by police in Thousand Oaks, California after she reportedly started a fire on a random elderly woman's driveway. But, according to TMZ, the story is even more... read more

The Royal Baby Already Looks Like a Royal Pain in the Ass

Somebody has to say it. I'm already sick of this kid and every middle aged woman who wants to steal him. Sure, Kate and William look perfect in their mixed and matched wardrobe consulted casual blue with their new son. But the minute they stop pretending they're going to... read more

Rihanna Shows Boobs Off in Sweden

The people of Sweden are very progressive. Much like the rest of Northern Europe. They teach the young ones about sex at a very early age. They give them lots of condoms and let them sculpt STDs in bio-degradable foam in their classrooms. So nobody makes babies and the... read more

The Smallest Penis In Brooklyn Has Been Found

America's new favorite pageant, Brooklyn's smallest penis contest, was held this weekend and a new champ was crowned. The contest was held at the Kings Country Bar in the hipster infested Bushwick neighborhood. I was going to go until I realized there was no reason to... read more

Miley Cyrus Flashes Her Panties in London

Miley Cyrus keeps flashing body parts as if she's trying to divert attention from her Maxim's Hottest Girl in the Known Entire Universe punim. It's definitely working. I'm looking at her black thong right now and she sure looks pretty. I'm not saying girls should just... read more

Will the New Royal Baby Be Forced to Marry a Euro-Snaggletooth?

You know what sucks about being a future king of England? I mean, besides the complications arising from generations of inbreeding and having to eat lots of mayonnaise. You have to marry some royal girl from another Euro family someday. Historically, those girls have... read more

Mrs. Partridge Had No Trouble Cumming

I'm not sure when it become cool for old ladies to suddenly start talking like Howard Sten about their privates, but somebody really needs to stop this shit. Do I want to know that Shirley Jones and her Cassidy husband used to experiment sexually, that he had a big cock,... read more

Lady Gaga Modest Naked in V Magazine

Holy crap. It's like a girl got sucked up into some alien space ship, stripped, probed and punched in the face a few times just so she'd remember them, her chin turned toward the wall so the aliens could pleasure themselves with her nice body but still think about other... read more

Bar Refaeli In A Bikini

My last vacation was sleeping in the back of a buddies' broke down car which made it halfway to a campground where I was told there would be girls who 'weren't too hairy'. I'd rather been in Formentera with Bar Refaeli. I don't even know where Formentera is, but it... read more