Broke-ass statutory raping rapper problems. Having a rich white teen girlfriend shopping at Neiman Marcus while you’re forced to wait outside. The whorelet has an Amex Black. She’s cool. The prepaid cash card and three spliffs means you’re pacing... READ MORE

Emily Ratajkowski is so full of shit I can smell her from here. She wants to be more than a pair of tits and slams the Blurred Lines video that made her famous yet she’s still using her tits... READ MORE

It took fourteen years but shit seems to be fixed since the original 9-11. We kicked some Saudi ass and told them no more free shit and airplanes until they stop secretly funding terrorists. We cleaned up Iraq. Tourists... READ MORE

Lady Gaga showed up on the set of American Horror Story when the last honest person she knew said there was a perfect gig for someone who looked liked her. All those millions and she’s still hustling. You don’t... READ MORE

Sarah Harris looks good holding that tub of drought water. Like the Coppertone girl grew up extra nice and needed money in a particularly sharp way. Not everybody gets exactly what they want. Keep the night job. Fairy dust never... READ MORE

Jessica Simpson’s one regret isn’t her gay pastor dad in black leather pants or having to lug her sister into an undeserved singing career or even the fact that consuming a single Cheetoh causes her expand to 10x girth.... READ MORE

Alyssa Milano took to social media with more breastfeeding photos and a tongue in cheek remark about suckling her child until age six like women used to do after shitting in the bushes and foraging for bugs. Milano’s life’s work... READ MORE

Ireland Baldwin is doing better since her parents paid for her to attend drunk gay rehab. Her skin looks shinier and less covered in vagina juice. Also, her breasts have become self-aware. Not every spoiled pretty rich girl is... READ MORE

Remember when you thought paying $100 to see Floyd Mayweather slap around a crippled Pinoy made you pretty fucking cool? Nobody’s buying into this mouthy wife beater going next fight with a dude with less credibility than Spider Rico.... READ MORE

Walking corpse Keith Richards is getting up there in years and it is time for him to get his affairs in order. His last wish is to be cremated and then have his kids snort his ashes. Ew. I... READ MORE