Jennifer Aniston Mocks Kim Kardashian

November 26, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Jennifer Aniston stuffed her top on the Ellen show to mock Kim Kardashian and presumably make Ellen’s boxers moist with flop sweat. It was hilarious, if you’re notion of pure entertainment is a future spinster mocking a woman who has a husband, a child, and more money than Qatar. Fuck, I just defended Kim Kardashian. […]

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Chelsea Handler Tits Again

November 26, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Given all the knee-jerk celebrity Ferguson tweets today, dare I say it’s refreshing to see Chelsea Handler firing off another look at me now bare tit bomb on social media. Fuck yeah. I dare. Tits are better than white liberal guilt even when slung over a boombox like a French fuck and an En Vogue […]

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Miley Makes Fun Of Mexicans And Shit Around The Web

November 26, 2014 | crap around the web | editor| 0 Comments

Lovable cum sponge Miley Cyrus got la Raza all in a tizzy after posing for pics in a sombrero and taco costume. Personally, I’d be thankful for the cultural shout out. Any time Miley embraces you and you don’t get contact syphilis, you’ve won. See Miley’s tuna taco. (Drunken Stepfather) Daniela Lopez Osorio makes my […]

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Bai Ling Is a Gamer

November 25, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Bai Ling now just shows up to shit uninvited. Who’s going to question a fifty year old Chinese woman wearing just a party streamer. Movie premieres, car wash openings, execution chamber viewing rooms. There’s Bai Ling showing you her tits still look amazing. I’m pretty sure there are Macau businessmen working high stakes bingo cards […]

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Now We’re Even, France

November 25, 2014 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

When we talk shit about Europe, we’re really talking about France. The snide surrender monkeys who embody every snotty asshole in every 80’s John Hughes movie. If I could build a giant fist, I’d punch them all in their collective black turtlenecks. Barring that, we sent them Lady Gaga. She’s been moping around Paris the […]

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Coco Austin Cooks In A Thong

November 25, 2014 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

I understand why Coco forged the arctic migratory fat cap on the back end of her body. It’s like vocational training or school for the most of the rest of us. It opened doors to employment opportunities. But you can’t have that shitter hanging out at the dinner table. I don’t care how fucked up […]

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Lindsay Lohan Got A New Mommy

November 25, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Michael Lohan decided not to tell his kids that he was making an honest woman out of Kate Major the second she got out of jail gestating his second bastard child. It’s kind of romantic in an abandoned building shooting gallery love affair kind of way. Having his celebrity kids attend the wedding would’ve turned […]

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White Women in Nice Boots Protest Ferguson

November 25, 2014 | WTF | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Here’s the thing about having to be on the right side of every issue.You’re going to want to get some decent footwear. If you need to spend a little, it’ll pay off when you amortize the cost across numerous public protest marches. Black people have had a second class ride in America. It’s gotten better, […]

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Halle Berry’s Daughter Getting Whitewashed

November 25, 2014 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Halle Berry accused her loser ex husband of trying to turn their daughter white in court. Ex model and and black market ivory trafficker Gabriel Aubry has been straightening the girl’s hair and died it blonde because he apparently wants the girl to be white. No legally sane straight dude gives a shit about his […]

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