Russian Athletes Kissing to Protest Russian Bullshit

By Lex August 20, 2013 @ 12:09 PM

Russian Athletes Kseniya Ryzhova And Tatyana Firova Kiss To Protest Anti-Gay Propoganda Laws After Winning In The World Athletics Championship In Moscow
Kseniya Ryzhova and Tatyana Firova decided to kiss during their gold medal ceremony for winning the 4×400 relay race at some important world track and field event in Russia. The female athletes wouldn’t say for sure whether or not it was to protest Russia’s new crackdown on talking to minors about gay lifestyles or whether they were just super fucking horny and dripping wet with hot lesbian scissor kissing lust, but it’s probably the former. Which is why all gay protests ultimately suck. Even God’s special gift to men, chicks making out, has to be tarnished with the tinge of political motivations. When I was a kid, six of us boys each put in a dollar to watch two middle school girls suck face. It was magical and special and the way things ought to be. So, Russia hates gays. They hates Jews and Muslims and Mongolians and Chechnyans and if they had any blacks, they’d hate them too. It’s Russia. Now, quit your whining, strip of those track suits, and get down to exploring each other’s scary lean almost sort of female bodies.

Photo Credit: Getty

Rihanna Wears A Sports Bra To American Apparel

By Lex August 20, 2013 @ 11:52 AM

Rihanna Wears A Sports Bra To American Apparel In New York

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI, PCN

Kim Zolciak Is Pregnant With Twins

By Lex August 20, 2013 @ 11:19 AM

Kim Zolciak Poses Topless With Her Body Painted For Bravo

Photo Credit: Bravo

Damn, Lena Dunham

By Travis August 20, 2013 @ 11:00 AM

You guys can have Kate Upton and Erin Heatherton, because Lena Dunham is the only woman I’ll ever need. Look at her being all sultry and sensual on the set of Girls yesterday in New York City and flaunting that raw sexual energy all over the place like she owns every dick on that street. Very few women can command a guy’s attention like Lena does, and I think that some of the so-called “sexy” female celebrities out there could learn a thing or two from this vixen. Damn, I need a cold shower and cooler full of ice for these blue balls now.

(Photo Credits: Alberto Reyes/WENN.com)

Amy Poehler And Aubrey Plaza Are Making The Nerds All Hot

By Travis August 20, 2013 @ 10:00 AM

Amy Poehler and Aubrey Plaza attended the Hollywood premiere of something called Afternoon Delight yesterday, and that must have had all of the hipster comedy fanboys going crazy, because these girls are like Viagra to them. To make it even better, Aubrey laid her head on Amy’s chest ever so gently, while she probably whispered something like, “Let’s perform improv while we scissor,” and a bunch of magazines named them the most important women of 2013.

Admittedly, I don’t really get the whole love affair that the Internet has with these two, but then I also still use AOL to connect to the web and I’m hoping to pass the intermediate level on Minesweeper by 2015.

(Photo Credits: FayesVision/WENN.com)

Kanye West Will Appear On The Kris Jenner Show

By Travis August 20, 2013 @ 9:00 AM

One of the only redeeming qualities that Kanye West has had is the fact that he seems like he despises Kris Jenner, which is hilarious because she tries so hard to make everyone believe that her life and family are perfect, and she totally doesn’t look at her daughters and grandkids and see them as piles of cash. But fuck that remaining shred of Kanye’s humanity, because he recorded an interview for The Kris Jenner Show yesterday that will air on Friday.

According to the Daily Mail, Kanye joked that he was so in love with Kim Kardashian that he considered becoming an athlete, and people laughed because his baby’s mother used to date Reggie Bush and Miles Austin, and she was married to the chromosome-deficient Kris Humphries. And what better way to say you love someone than by making jokes about all the people she’s had sex with in front of her own mother and the 16 people who watch her show?

(Photo Credit: Getty)

Lady Gaga and Perez Hilton Having the Bitch Fight to End All Bitch Fights

By Lex August 19, 2013 @ 5:37 PM

Lady Gaga Greets Fans In A Black And White Outfit Leaving The Chateau Marmont In Los Angeles
Nobody knows how the war began, just that it’s been bloody. Well, not exactly bloody, but lame and retarded and taking place on social media, naturally. Apparently it all began early this year when Lady Gaga got a hip pointer injury from trying to go down on multiple Indigo Girls at the same time. Lady Gaga was forced into Gucci designer wheelchair and to cancel her tour. She claims Perez sent her a pictures of a wheelchair with the word ‘Karma’ written on it.

“Still have the text Perez sent me of me in a wheelchair w the words KARMA written across + Madonna pointing a gun at me. Day of my accident” — Lady Gaga on Twitter

That is kind of bitchy so it could easily be true. Then last week Gaga accused Perez Hilton of dumping on her record sales and trying to stalk her by looking to buy an apartment in her same building in New York without even telling her. That’s total New Jack.

@perezhilton STAY AWAY FROM ME + MY FAMILY YOU ARE SICK TRYING TO RENT AN APARTMENT IN MY BUILDING TO STALK ME. LEAVE ME ALONE!!!” — Lady Gaga on Twitter

Perez fired back with vague references to Lady Gaga being affected by drug and mental health issues.

@ladygaga I know you got treatment for your hip injury. Hopefully you got treatment for your other #issues too! I wish you health and peace. “– Perez Hilton on Twitter

Immediately, Lady Gaga’s trainable ‘little monsters’ went nuts and started writing nasty threatening letters to Perez who fired back by saying he feared for the safety of his young child, because that always works.

“I can’t sleep. I am literally sick to my stomach. Not playing any fucking games here. I am afraid for my fucking safety and that of my son.” — Perez Hilton on Twitter

Now the gay Hatfields and the gay McCoys are at a standstill. Nobody knows where the next barrage will come from. They only know it will be horribly and unnecessarily dramatic.

Here’s Lady Gaga looking like death just slightly little warmed over. Don’t think she doesn’t have her Tweet phone at the ready should shit go down.

Photo Credit: INFphoto.com, FameFlynet, WENN

Paulina Gretsky Is Engaged

By Lex August 19, 2013 @ 4:40 PM

Paulina Gretzky Bikini Twitter Photos
It came down to the dude who works the afternoon shift at Jiffy Lube and top ranked professional golfer Dustin Johnson. Wayne Gretzky’s daughter chose the professional golfer to let experience up to eighteen months of marital bliss before the cheating, vitriol, and drinking begin. Dustin Tweeted ‘She said yes!!’ over the weekend with a picture of the ring to confirm the couples engagement and the fact that he’d now become a total pussywhipped mope.

Photo Credit: Paulina Gretsky/Twitter