Salma Hayek is in a bikini

More than anything else, the internet has taught me that Latin girls do anal. But second more than anything else, the internet has taught me that famous Hollywood stars are rarely as attractive as they appear in the media. Case in point: Salma Hayek, seen here in St Barts with her daughter Valentina, who is alreadWHAAAT THE FUCK IS WITH THAT GIRLS HEAD. Whhyy, why is it so big? Is she sick or something? Why is it that...read more

Chris Brown is making exciting new friends

Last night, Raz B, a singer who used to be a member of the group B2K, was sittin there thinking, how can niggas like Eric Benet and Chris Brown disrespect women as Intelligent as Halle Berry and Rihanna. And so he tweeted... "Im just sittin here Thinking how can niggas like @ebenet & @ChrisBrown disrespect women as Intelligent as @HalleBerry11 @Rihanna" Which got Chris Browns attention. Knowing that Raz had been...read more

Jennifer Love Chewit is gettin me all hot

Jennifer Love Hewitt paused form doing interviews about how she's not fat and actually really beautiful to go to lunch with her mom in Beverly Hills. Which was apparently not a special enough occasion for her to not dress like a runaway. I bet if you took a box of Entenmann chocolate chip cookies, and then dumped them at her feet, I bet she would crawl around on her hands and knees and pick up at least half of them...read more

the top 100 stories of 2010 (70-79)

79. KE$HA - wore a bikini, despite looking like this in a bikini. Serious question: if you were forced to choose one, would you have sex with Ke$ha, or Megan Fox 1 hour after she died. Be honest. You're fucking a dead girl in your imagination right now, aren't you? Yeah me too. (November 11th) 78. MARIAH CAREY - got pregnant. Although I don't know how. Seeing her naked would be so gross, if my dick wasn't shaped like...read more

Molly Sims is in Mexico too

Molly Sims is yet another famous Hollywood star down in Mexico this week, Los Cabos in her case (Cindy Crawford is there too but not in a bikini so fuck her), so if you felt like robbing a bunch of houses in the Hollywood Hills, this might be a pretty good time. (source = splash news online)read more

Wednesday headlines

THE 10 HIGHEST GROSSING MOVIES OF 2010 - might surprise you. Unless you already know what they are, in which case they won't. Unless you have that Memento thing and you didn't tat them down. Do you have that? Do you have that? Do you have that? Do I have keep asking or how does this work? (filmdrunk) REESE WITHERSPOON - got engaged to her agent Jim Toth. It will be her second marriage (she divorced Ryan Phillippe in...read more

BREAKING NEWS: Bar Refaeli got a text

Bar Refaeli is still in Mexico and still in a bikini, but that's not all she wears, and there were a few pictures of her in a shirt and jeans. Needless to say I skipped the hell out of those. By the way, is that one of those sex pillows she's laying on? This thing. The kind you use to prop a girls ass up? WHAT A WHORE! (source = splash news online)read more

the top 100 stories of 2010 (80-89)

89. SANDRA BULLOCK - was the center of 3 huge stories this year, one of which was adopting the most menacing baby on earth. His first words were, "sup my nigga?", followed by a fist bump. (April 28th) 88. CAMERON DIAZ - told the Sun, "I'm always traveling for cock." The fact that the cock keeps running away is apparently lost on her. (June 17th) 87. CHARLIE SHEEN - got caught with a prostitute. Yes, back in April too....read more

Stephanie Seymour is inappropriate

90‘s supermodel Stephanie Seymour, who is now 42, went down to St. Barths for the Christmas holiday, and struck some seductive poses while on the beach… with her son, Dylan Andrews. Look it's a free country and all but I just don't think you should be presenting to your teenage son. But these models are all perverts, it's no rules man, anything goes!read more

George Clooney & Elisabetta Canalis are in Mexico too

George Clooney and his lover Elisabetta Canalis spent Christmas on the beach in Cabo San Lucas, and, in what appears to have been an ill fated surprise, Elisabettas sister Gabriella showed up too. And they immediately ran at each other and started fighting. What a temper on this chick! Lately I've been considering dating an Italian supermodel, maybe for the new year, just to give it a try, but now maybe I won't....read more

the top 100 stories of 2010 (90-100)

100. BROOKLYN DECKER - did a cartwheel in a bikini. Holy shit, this is number 100? Wow is this list gonna go down hill fast. (May 12th, May 13th, May 12th, May 11th) 99. HEIDI MONTAG - got DDD implants. As I was saying; Down. Hill. Fast. (January 21st, April 12th) 98. ANNA PAQUIN - announced that she's bisexual, doubling the number of potential lovers who will have to ignore that gap between her teeth. I swear in some...read more

Rihanna went swimming with the power of the panther

Rihanna is spending her holiday back home in Barbados, on Sandy Lane Beach, and any sharks who planned on biting her better think again. Her sexxxy one piece and headband lead me to believe she now has the stealthy moves of the panther, and the cunning of the mighty tiger (leopard?). Oh if only she had this outfit 2 years ago. Chris Brown never would have landed a single punch. (source = splash news)read more

Natalie Portman is engaged, pregnant

Natalie Portman has confirmed today that she's not only engaged to choreographer Benjamin Millepied (this handsome devil) but she's pregnant as well. No word yet on who the father is. Oh wait, never mind, it's probably that same guy. People says... The couple met during the production of Black Swan. Portman's performance in the film has earned her nominations for a Golden Globe and Screen Actors Guild Award. This will...read more

Monday morning headlines

LITTLE FOCKERS won the weekend box office with a lower than expected $34 million, but the real story was that Gullivers Travels absolutely bombed, opening at number 7 with just $7.2 million. Actually "bomb" might not be a fitting description, because I'd much rather be in a room with an actual bomb than a Jack Black movie. (variety) TENNA MARIE - died of natural causes over the weekend at age 54, and apparently this...read more

Paris and Nikki Hilton are in Hawaii

Paris Hilton is ugly, and her sister Nikki is even uglier, so these pictures of them in bikinis in Hawaii yesterday were only interesting when it looked like they might start kissing. That didn't happen. So... moving right along. (source = splash news online)read more