Matt Damon spent the weekend in the Caribbean with his wife and three kids. Which is the most anyone should ever have. Three kids, I mean. You see these women with tons of kids, it’s like being married to a kangaroo, every day of your life she’s walking around with kids tucked away inside of her.
(picture source = mavrix online)
As previously implied by the headline, the cast of "The Hills" is in Hawaii this week, and even though all of them hit the beach yesterday, the only one I care about is Audrina. Because she’s the only fun one. Meaning she’s the only one with huge tits. Those things are awesome. As are my fists. They’re made of steel and justice.
(picture source = splash news)
Megan Fox hit the beach for an Elle magazine photo shoot this weekend, and it's pictures like these that make me wish I had more room for pictures on this page. Because the originals here are enormous. But not big enough to hump, if you were wondering.
(picture source = Coqueran/MAYER PHOTO)
Over the weekend pictures turned up and it turns out Jessica Simpson has gross veins in her boobs now (relive the magic here). And not subtle ones either. It’s like a map of rivers. But good news for Jess, because Aubrey O'Day was at Fashion Week in New York and it turns out hers are even worse. Look, no one wants to hump Aubrey more than me, but this is gross. It would be like licking a bodybuilders calf.
(picture source = splash news)
Michael Jackson’s brother Marlon is developing an amusement park about slavery, which actually makes a lot of sense if you think about it. I'm lying of course. The Guardian UK says…
A museum for the Jackson Five is to be built in Nigeria as part of a $3.4bn luxury resort including concert halls, golf courses, casinos – and a memorial for Africa's former slave trade.
The Badagry Historical Resort, located near Badagry's former slave port, will include a memorial, slave history theme park, five-star hotel and Jackson Five museum. The project is supported in part by Marlon Jackson, one of Michael Jackson's brothers.
"The Jackson family had been looking for a place to site their memorabilia collection," explained Gary Loster, chief executive of the Motherland Group. "We visited the site of the slave port in Badagry and Marlon turned to me and said: 'Let's put it here, this is right.'"
If I were a black guy I’m not so sure how fun this park would sound. I'd be worried my exit would be 800 miles away and they would sick dogs after me if I tried to leave. On the plus side, I could probably organize a revolt and rape some of the hot white women. Which I was hoping to do anyway.
You have to go to Us magazines website for the worlds greatest picture of this dork. I think someone over there is being sarcastic. Who did this dude blow to get on TV? Who the fuck thought that thing he does with his mouth was acceptable in a leading man? Are the producers of this show all stroke victims and Popeye, trying to promote one of their own? I can’t remember where I was going with this but him and Hayden Pana-t-t-i(?)-e(?)-r-r-e broke up.
Heroes costars Hayden Panettiere and Milo Ventimiglia have called it quits, Usmagazine.com has learned.
"It was a lifestyle conflict," a source close to the couple tells Us, adding that the split happened within the last week. "They were in very different places."
Adds the insider, "They are still on friendly terms. There are no hard feelings."
The source tells Us that Panettiere, 19, "is young. She likes to go out in the Hollywood scene and that's not his style."
He’s 31, and he was nailing a famous blond teenager, so I guess in that sense he's the Greatest Man In History. In another, more accurate sense, he still bugs me. It's that mouth thing. I'd always feel like he was trying to tell me a secret. Like someone was hiding in the closet with a shotgun and he couldn't just come out and say it.
Thankfully most of you are more perceptive than I am, and many noticed that the dress Lindsay wore last night (here) still had the security tag on.
Jesus, how broke is this bitch? She doesn’t actually do anything, yet she runs all over the world, so it wouldn’t be surprising if she didn’t have any money left. So did she steal this, and is this just one of hundreds of stolen outfits? Uh, yeah sure why not. Let's all start telling people that.
