Kardashian Bastard Baby Not To Be Named Kaidence

Well, fuck me. And sorry to those of you prognosticators who called the idiotic name Kaidence in our Twitter contest. Looks like Kim and Kanye have not decided to name the product of their hotel room splooge Kaidence. The name has not yet been officially given by the... read more

Maitland Ward In A Bikini Playing With A Hula Hoop

Sometimes I wonder if girls on fairly innocent teen TV shows know that a million and one men out there are secretly tugging their dongs to them. But then I realize I'm thinking about a million and one men's dongs and I start thinking about the NBA and how much I like... read more

Paula Deen Drops Some Expensive N-Bombs

Fatty Southern Chef Paula Deen is in deep shit after she admitted in a deposition to saying racist shit around the office and planning a Southern plantation-style wedding with simulated slaves. It all came out as part of a court case brought by one of her former... read more

Maria Menounos In A Bikini in Greece

I bet when Maria Menounos goes back to Greece everybody treats her like a conquering hero. She's off in America working with Slater from Saved by the Bell. She got to go the Kardashian baby shower. But maybe some people are just haters. Call her, Big City Maria. Talk... read more

Courtney Stodden Shows Off Her New Boobs

Courtney Stodden reminds me a bit of Iran and their nuclear aspirations. They were annoying twits when they had no real threat, with nukes, they're just going to be everywhere and in your face. I'm not expecting Courtney to start menacing Israel, but I'm also not... read more

Rihanna Is Now The YouTube Champion

Rihanna has given Justin Bieber a Chris Brown-sized beating to become the most viewed artist on YouTube. Bieber used to be the YouTube champ, his videos getting millions of hits from the pedophiles and obese teens who make up his fan base. Rihanna's 77 videos now have a... read more

Jessica Szohr Not Wearing A Bra

90210 actress Jessica Szohr headed off to the Discover Many Hopes gala in New York last night without wearing a bra. Yeah, there's no joke to be had there. I often wonder how women finally make that decision to head out in a tight top with no bra. They must waver back... read more

Is Robin Thicke's 'Blurred Lines' Too 'Rapey'? (VIDEO)

While it was released in March, Robin Thicke's single, "Blurred Lines ", only just hit the top of the Billboard charts, thanks to endless radio play and all of those Radio Shack commercials. Oh, and also because people won't stop talking about how misogynistic and... read more

George Zimmer Got Booted Out of The Wearhouse

Me and ten million other mostly broke mopes got their first suits at the Men's Wearhouse. They even threw in a pair of socks. Fucking icing on the cake. George Zimmer guaranteed we'd like the way we looked in his suits. He didn't guarantee that we'd get to shtup an older... read more

Dolce and Gabbana Off to Big Gay Prison, Sort of

Oh, snap. Looks like designing icon boyfriends Dolce and Gabbana (I think they might have first names too) were hiding hundreds of millions of dollars from Italy's tax authorities. They got busted for it and yesterday got handed a twenty-month prison sentence. The two... read more

Kim Kardashian Couldn't Have A VIP Hospital Suite Because Of Dwight Howard

While Kim Kardashian's people claim that she had to be admitted to Cedars Sinai hospital to give birth to her daughter five weeks before the expected due date because of a threat to both her and the baby's health, there are still several conspiracy theories out there.... read more

Selena Gomez Might Be Dating This Hunk

Of course I mean the doughy ginger on the right and not the other guy, who has built an empire out of tricking yokels into coughing up their money for a redneck routine that's faker than Courtney Stodden's tits. That guy on the right is singer Ed Sheeran, and if Us... read more