Gwyneth Paltrow Stands Alone

I don't claim to be the master of much. Not a chess master or a Zen master, I haven't even come close to mastering English and it's my only language. But I had thought I was a master when it came to all things fucked up and annoying about Gwneth Paltrow, the world's most... read more

Jessica Alba Flashes Kids at the Park

How embarrassed are you as a kid when your mom exposes herself at the park? I know it was the shame of my childhood. When dad joined in, I had to abandon public play areas altogether. So imagine how Serenity and Oblong, or whatever Jessica Alba named her two kids, felt... read more

Farrah Superstar Backdoor Teen Mom DVD Giveaway

To thank all of you who've stuck with us through the transition, our bevy of new readers, and even those people who stayed behind just to kvetch (you remind me so much of my parents), here's some free porn. We got DVD copies of the Backdoor Teen Mom tape to give away. We... read more

Vanessa Hudgens Skirt Fell Down

Vanessa Hudgens mom wasn't even born when the Rolling Stones started performing. That might not really explain why her skirt fell down on the way into the Staples Center to see the Rolling Stones perform. Honestly, I just wanted to show you her underwear. It's not quite... read more

Carmen Electra Birthday Party Strip Clubbing

I guess all the local Build-A-Bears were full up so Carmen Electra went with Vegas strip club as her backup birthday party spot. She also got paid. And why not earn a little scratch on your own 41st? There aren't many calendar turns left before Carmen starts seeing her... read more

Betty Ford Might Take Away Lindsay's Adderall

Lindsay entered the Betty Ford Clinic for drug rehab but is still taking Adderall...for now. The clinic is analyzing whether or not she actually needs it. She does have a prescription and it's not like doctors just hand out prescription medications to their wealthy drug... read more

Olivia Munn Has Nipples Too

Back in the G4 fanboy days, there was no greater gender divisionist than Olivia Munn. Guys all saw her as the cool chick who'd watch an entire ballgame with them and then demand sex as if the game counted as hot foreplay. And women hated her because there's no way they'd... read more

Catherine Zeta-Jones' Temporary New Home Has Lots of Windows

I love P.R. people. In so much as I love people who string together epic lies without a single note of remorse. Even the Devil has to lay it out straight when bartering you for your soul. Not P.R. people. When word leaked out that Catherine Zeta-Jones was being checked... read more

Eva Marcille In A Bikini Filming J Lo Music Video

Photo Credit: FameFlynet, PCN [gallery id="5930"] read more

Thank God For Kate Upton

The problem with using punk rock as a theme for an event that is attended by actresses is that most of them have no clue what punk means, so they just throw a bunch of shit into a box and pick articles of clothing at random while people tell them how awesome they look.... read more

Maria Sharapova In Esquire Latin America

Instead of women's tennis, we should have a sport called fake women's tennis. Where girls don't have to actually hit the ball back and forth, they just need to run around the court in skirts and sweat-resistant sports bras. This would allow girls who are not necessarily... read more

Arnold Schwarzenegger's Son Is A Tough Guy

It must be pretty cool to be the son of the star of such legendary action films as The Terminator, Total Recall and Jingle All the Way, as Arnold Schwarzenegger was Hollywood's biggest badass for at least two decades. But Patrick Schwarzenegger, who has carved himself a... read more