The Black Eyed Peas played a show at the Music Box in Hollywood last night, a benefit concert for Will.I.Am’s charity the Peapod Foundation, but the most generous person of all was Ciara for wearing this skin tight and kind of see thru catsuit.
I’m sure there’s some explanation for why she isn’t a huge star but I’ll be damned if I know what it is. This bitch is hot. Couldn’t we just give Ke$has songs to her from now on? Saying she got drunk and then hopping up and down really seems like something she could do.
JWoww is in New York for Fashion Week, and last night she was the special guest at… okay I forgot to write it down. Someones show. No one good, obviously. But she tried to make it good by wearing one of those black dresses that always turn see-thru when they’re hit by a flash. And I’m assuming she knew this because everyone knows this. And because it’s really not that hard to put on a bra. You just have to believe in yourself.
I was at the store one time, behind these two guys, and one said to the other, “He swears he’s making 100 grand a year at this point, and even if he’s lying he’s makin half that.” And I thought, “no not really.” That’s the thing about lying. There’s no rules, the sky’s the limit, you can say literally anything. You can even lie about your lying, it’s all up to you.
Point being, Lindsay Lohan went on her twitter last night…
“i just want to be on set again, and left alone to just work!
fyi- i would never steal, in case people are wondering. I was not raised to lie, cheat, or steal…”
Well, yeah, dickhead, we know you weren’t specifically raised to lie, cheat, and steal. You’re not Nikita, you weren’t trained at this, you weren’t adopted by Fagin, we get that. So what? You still do it. And you want to be on set, to work again? Fuck off. Why would anyone hire you? I’d hire a pedophile to babysit my kids before I’d hire you to act in a movie, because I’d trust them more to do the right thing.
Once you get used to the idea of an X-Men movie set in 1962 against the Cuban Missile Crisis, and James McAvoy (Wanted) as Professor X and Michael Fassbender (Inglorious Basterds) as Magneto, this thing actually looks pretty good (little bigger 1080 copy here). It has a cool style. Like Mad Men if Don Draper could move shit with his mind.
CNN spoke to Lindsay Lohans attorney today, and even though Lindsay is a sweet little angel being framed by a wicked jewelry store, she will consider a plea deal if it will keep her out of jail.
“Ms. Lohan maintains her innocence, and now that I’ve seen the police reports, I believe the case is entirely defensible,” (Lohans attorney) said. “Having said that, we will entertain a discussion concerning a plea if it means no jail so that she can move forward with her recovery and her career.”
This DA seems really annoyed with Lindsays arrogance and theatrics, so hopefully she won’t make a deal. Unless the deal is to do that one where they put her head and hands in that locking piece of wood thing and we get to spank her. I could go for that.
Banksy, the English painter and street artist, is about as famous as someone can be without anyone actually knowing for certain who he is. He almost never appears in public, and on the rare occasion that he does, he reportedly wears a monkey mask.
This years he’s been nominated for and will probably win an Academy Award for directing the documentary Exit Through the Gift Shop.
You’re probably picking up on the problem by now. The Wrap says…
For an organization that prides itself on security and decorum, there’s something unsettling about the thought of an Oscar winner taking the stage in disguise, or trying to accept the award without revealing his identity.
“The fun but disquieting scenario,” said the Academy’s executive director, “is if that film wins and five guys in monkey masks come to the stage all saying, ‘I’m Banksy!’ Who the hell do we give it to?”
In case that wasn’t rhetorical, here’s my answer: I don’t give a fuck. That’s your problem. I just want to see him win because this is the same guy who was given free reign to do an opening for the Simpsons and he did this. He basically said they were running a slave labor camp. This could be the most interesting thing to ever happen on this dumb show. Or the most terrifying if you’re the Academy. If I were them I’d find out where he was sitting and paint the chair with some kind of liquid cement.
Saying that your client is dumb as a rock isn’t exactly the greatest legal strategy in the world, but that may be what Lindsay Lohans lawyers will claim, because 4 days before she stole that necklace, she “accidentally” tried to walk out of the same jewelry store with a diamond ear ring.
Lindsay tried on a pair of 18 karat gold white diamond earrings … (she) removed one earring and left the other in her ear while she shopped.
“Ms. Lohan gathered her things and started to leave the jewelry store without making a purchase. Ms. Lohan’s hair was flipped to one side covering the diamond earring.”
”[The clerk] stopped her and reminded Ms. Lohan she was still wearing the earring. Ms. Lohan laughed, admitted to her mistake and removed the earring from her ear and returned it to [the clerk].”
This is a dumb story, right? Oh but wait…
Ironically, the earring incident could actually help Lindsay.
She had absentmindedly left her own, more expensive earrings on the counter as she began walking out of the store with the single earring.
And, people who know Lindsay say she’s a scatterbrain who forgets basic things all the time.
Yes, indeed, it would help her case, IF she were claiming she walked out with the necklace by mistake. And then not worn it for two weeks. Instead she’s claiming it was loaned to her. So it’s not the same thing. At all.
That’s not to say she isn’t dumb, because, oh, she is. In fact it’s amazing her plan didn’t revolve around stuff like a gun that fires honey and attaching bottle rockets to a skunk.