Nobody Gives a Shit About Your Stupid Emails

I'm a libertarian leaning kind of guy. I already know the government is spying on everybody doing everything. Those fuckers will abuse their power any chance they get. But guess what else -- they don't give a shit about you. We now know they've spent billions of dollars... read more

The Captain Is Still at the Helm

I guess the good part about getting old is you start to forget shit more easily. Like, your signature magazine business is tanking or what seems like yesterday you were wearing a robe, smoking a pipe, and looking down to see Barbi Benton gobbling your knob. So that... read more

Mel Gibson Yells At Cops...Again

Alcoholic and no big fan of the Hebrew peoples, Mel Gibson, once again unloaded on Malibu cops after he was stopped at a random DUI checkpoint. Mel was driving along the same road he famously lost his shit at a few years ago and started ranting about the Jews. This time... read more

Painted Women In Thongs Protest Fashion Week

Honestly, if you're not at least willing to get naked in public to save the animals, I'm feeling like you don't care that much to save a furry life. The bar has been set, ladies, tits or we kill the baby fox and make a stole. A little beaver and I might just save one. I... read more

Russell Brand Kicked Out Of Awards Show

The former Mr. Katy Perry, Russell Brand, was kicked out of the GQ Men of the Year Awards for gettin all political.I didn't even know GQ had awards. I thought they just printed ads with homosexual models wearing overpriced clothes. Instead of just thanking his fans and... read more

Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones Are Doing Great, Err, Fine

Michael Douglas keeps repeating the mantra that he and Catherine Zeta-Jones are 'fine' despite their separation. I guess he's an optimist. If I had cunnilingus throat cancer and my wife was bipolar and not eating and we had just split up to keep from killing each other,... read more

Me Tarzan, You Jane With Big Boobs

I've decided to go without ever listening to another Katy Perry song. It's like giving up the evening news, I just think it'll make me feel less hopeless and depressed. In her new music video Roar, Katy dresses like Tarzan if Tarzan sold records by showing off his tits.... read more

Justin Bieber And Chris Brown Are Best Friends

Justin Bieber posted the above photo to his Instagram account yesterday, showing off the new graffiti art that Chris Brown sprayed for his half pipe, while calling the guy who bounced Rihanna's face off of a car window "super dope." These two have been friends for a... read more

Rihanna Steps Out Braless In New York

Photo Credit: [gallery guid=805206] read more

Miley Cyrus Is About To Make History Again

Yesterday, Miley Cyrus Tweeted the above image for the album artwork of her new single, "Wrecking Ball," which she'll release on Monday. Just look at how hot she looks sitting like that on a giant black ball, which I'm sure is symbolism for a lot of what is happening in... read more

Kelly Brook Is Still So Happy And Brave

Kelly Brook attended the opening of the Pandora Oxford Street store in London last night, and just look at how happy and brave she is despite the fact that she recently found out that her boyfriend, Danny Cipriani, had been sexting other girls behind her back. Because... read more

Ryan Seacrest NFL Boner Kill (VIDEO)

Lots of people like Ryan Seacrest. Young girls who watch his shows. His parents. Gay men who believe he would make a nice twink throw pillow. But not so much your rabid Opening Day NFL football fans who booed him in Denver as he subverted the manly glory of the NFL into... read more