Heleen Mees Will Not Just Be Ignored

By Lex July 08, 2013 @ 1:06 PM

Heleen Mees Gets A Pedicure After Getting Out Of Jail In New York
I have a hard time feeling bad for any man who thinks they can bang a woman on the side without consequences. It just defies all reason based on overwhelming historical evidence. I bet when Citigroup economist Willem Buiter started nailing NYU econ professor Heleen Mees behind his wife’s back, he figured it was a pretty unfettered get. Nerd on nerd sex seems safe. You’re in, you’re out, and your back to your symposiums. Nay, Will, nay. One thousand unwanted emails later to himself, his wife, and possibly his daughter, things like naked pictures of Heleen masturbating, messages about wanting to lick his nuts, and a few death threats and I’m guessing Will’s marriage isn’t running so hot. But it did get Heleen locked up last week for stalking. That wold be Heleen Mees, the founder of Women on Top, a female empowerment organization. Do your fucking research, Will.

UPDATE: In a weird twist of stalking fate, Heleen was bailed out of jail by a random plumber from Brooklyn who has discovered some cosmic connection with the stalker after reading about her lockup in the papers. The stalker circle is almost complete.

Photo Credit: INF

Victoria Silvstedt In A Bikini On a Yacht

By Lex July 08, 2013 @ 12:21 PM

Victoria Silvsteadt In A Bikini On A Mega Yacht In St Tropez
It’s hard to tell when Victoria Silvstedt is on the clock or on vacation. The bikini and the yacht is usually a giveaway. Yep, she’s at work. Victoria may not be the ship’s captain, but she is a valuable member of the crew. Think of her as the Julie McCoy of the Riviera. If Julie McCoy had let every rich guy on the Love Boat take her up her pooper. So, basically, Julie McCoy.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet, INF

Lilit Avagyan Looks Like Kim Kardashian

By Lex July 08, 2013 @ 11:57 AM

Lilit Avagyan Treats Herself To A Mani-Pedi In Beverly Hills
With all the hullabaloo (I think that’s still a word) around the stupidly named North West, people have completely overlooked that Reggie Bush just had a stupidly named girl child with his Kim Kardashian lookalike replacement girlfriend, Lilit Avagyan. It’s uncanny how much Lilit and her ass in Spandex look just like Kim Kardashian. Also uncanny how the unwed couple named their baby girl Briesis. Which is perhaps more stupid than North. With the eventual winner being the girl who grows up with tits most like her mother.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet, INF

Kylie Jenner Wants To Send You To Prison

By Travis July 08, 2013 @ 11:00 AM

Based on the number of bikini pictures that teenagers Kylie and Kendall Jenner post to their Twitter and Instagram accounts, I’m guessing that they have a running bet with each other. Probably something like, whichever one of them is responsible for the most adult men being sent to prison by the time that Kendall turns 18 later this year wins a brand new Land Rover.

Or even better, they bet one dollar like the Dukes in Trading Places. “Haha, you sent 300 men to jail last year,” 15-year old Kylie will say before forking over a crisp George Washington. But then Kendall will have to go back to shopping for crotchless jeans, because like Kris Jenner always says, “These wombs aren’t going to impregnate themselves with wealthy seed.”

George Clooney Is Done With This One

By Travis July 08, 2013 @ 10:00 AM

For the past two years, former WWE wrestler Stacy Keibler thought that she could be the girl who could finally make George Clooney settle down and become a husband and father after roughly two decades of sticking his dick in everything from Los Angeles to Laos. Of course, she was probably wrong, as the Mirror reported yesterday that George and Stacy spent the 4th of July apart, and he is “quietly backing away from the relationship.” Translated: he’s knuckle deep in a fresh 18-year old.

But Stacy doesn’t seem to be too upset, because she posted a photo to her Instagram account of her and an unknown man. If I had to guess, his name is Wilt Chamberlain, because he’s the greatest rebounder of all-time.

(Photo Credit: WENN.com)

Bar Refaeli Shares Her Work Out (VIDEO)

By Lex July 08, 2013 @ 9:31 AM

I’m not sure what possesses a woman to want to share the intimacy of her fitness routine with the world. I suppose it has something to do with knowing you’re really hot and men like to masturbate while watching you. That’s got to feel good. Especially for the guys.

Courtney Love Dresses Like A Geisha For Sex

By Travis July 08, 2013 @ 9:00 AM

Aging rock star and opium depository Courtney Love took a moment to remind everyone on Saturday that she’s still a woman with needs and desires when she Tweeted the above picture of herself right after sex. She referred to it as her “inner geisha, following sex with mad kabuki warrior face”, but we all see it for what it really is – a guy asked Courtney to cover her face as much as possible during sex.

Of course, that begs the question: Who still has sex with Courtney Love? And I while I’m not positive, I think the answer is 12-inches of thick rubber.

Heidi Klum Is More Patriotic Than You

By Lex July 05, 2013 @ 4:21 PM

Fuck yeah, America. Heidi Klum could’ve made it anywhere, but she made it here. In this country, you can kick Seal out of your bed and start banging your kids’ bodyguard and the gossip rags pen cover stories about ‘Heidi’s great romance’. Try that back in Germany and you’re off to the stalag. So count Heidi Klum among the every single damn celebrity yesterday trying to out red, white, and blue each other. Heidi probably could’ve dropped her top or stopped sheltering her money from income taxes if she really wanted to show her fealty to her adopted homeland. Maybe for Labor Day.