It seems like, no matter what your hobbies are, someone has a contest tailor made just for you. For example if you like football you can enter fantasy football contests. But what if your hobbies include hanging out with Judah Friedlander, eating delicious fried chicken and playing championship level blackjack. What about you? Where’s your contest?
Well dry your eyes because your day has come my friend. The KFC Double Down contest offers all that to one lucky winner. Leave a comment below and explain why you deserve to be seated next to Judah at his Blackjack Table. Go here for the official rules.
These fuckin savages even posted where Matt and Trey live. Seriously? Is anyone gonna fight back against these animals? Tell them to go fuck themselves? Wait. Sorry. Let’s back up a little. Fox News says…
A radical Islamic website is warning the creators of “South Park” that they could face violent retribution for depicting the Prophet Muhammad in a bear suit during an episode broadcast on Comedy Central last week.
RevolutionMuslim.com posted the warning following the 200th episode of Trey Parker and Matt Stone’s “South Park,” which included a caricature of the Prophet Muhammad disguised in a bear suit. The Web posting also included a graphic photo of Theo van Gogh, a Dutch filmmaker who was murdered in 2004 after making a documentary on violence against Muslim women.
“We have to warn Matt and Trey that what they are doing is stupid and they will probably wind up like Theo Van Gogh for airing this show,” the posting reads. “This is not a threat, but a warning of the reality of what will likely happen to them.”
Reaching by phone early Tuesday, Abu Talhah al Amrikee, the author of the post, said he wrote the entry to “raise awareness.” He said the grisly photograph of van Gogh was meant to “explain the severity” of what Parker and Stone did by mocking Muhammad.
“It’s not a threat, but it really is a likely outcome,” al Amrikee said, referring to the possibility that Parker and Stone could be murdered for mocking Muhammad.
Matt and Trey are heroes, with more artistic integrity than the rest of Hollywood combined. They created a cartoon filled with juvenile jokes. They have opinions, and they express them with the help of dumb, goofy jokes. If you don’t like it, great, terrific, good for you. May you live a long and blessed life. But I don’t give a shit if South Park offends you. Matt and Trey don’t give a shit. Go watch something else and shut your mouth. I’d love to see these savages do something in this country. I dare you. I double dog dare you. I’m not scared. I’m not hiding. My name is Spencer Pratt. I live in Beverly Hills. Come get me tough guy.
Sarah Jessica Parker is 45-years-old, but she looks better than ever! Of course that bar is pretty low because she’s alarmingly ugly and always has been. It would be like saying a turkey looks better than ever. Or a foot. But now people are worrying because she’s losing so much weight. To film ‘Sex and the City 2′, she went from a size 4 to a size 0, and now she’s getting even skinnier. The Daily Mail says…
The 45-year-old’s usually toned arms were replaced by sinewy arms and bulging veins as she walked her son to school.
Despite her busy lifestyle, friends of the star are claiming she has become ‘obsessed’ with dieting and gym, leading her to drop even more pounds.
The 5ft 3in star is said to have dropped from 7 1/2 stone (105 pounds) to 6 1/2 stone (91 pounds)
It may or may not be legal to kill people who they look like they already died, I don’t know, I’m not a lawyer, but if it is, I’ll just roll up in court with these pictures. And when the judge says, “why did you do it,” I’ll walk over to the jury with a picture behind my back and say, “Because your honor, Sarah Jessica Parker … was a Werewolf!”
And I’ll whip the picture out and everyone will gasp and the judge will bang his gavel demanding order. And then he’ll look at the picture and say, “Werewolf? Don’t you mean Zombie.” And I’ll say, “whatever. What am I, the monster detective? She looked like something.”
Esquire magazine has come out with their ‘Women We Love’ issue, with fatty Christina Hendricks on the cover as the ‘Sexiest Woman Alive’, and at one point they have a 75 Greatest Women Of All Time list. For Karen Allen (yes, Karen Allen), they write
Animal House! Raiders of the Lost Ark! Our nine- and twenty-two-year-old selves just fell in love all over again.
‘Raiders’ came out in 1981. So the person writing this is 51 years old. It’s no wonder this magazine is so cool and hip. This list, composed mostly of the writer naming strange women he’d like to fuck, couldn’t be any creeepier unless it was called 75 Women Whose Hair I’d Like to Stroke Before I Eat Them Because They’re All Godless Whores.
Kate Bosworth is in Palm Springs this weekend to hang out at Coachella, or more to the point to hang out by the pool in a bikini. She doesn’t look that great or anything in these, but she is really pretty, and she does look like she’d be very easy to overpower and then hold down. There’s a lot to be said for girls like that.
Ke$ha was on SNL this weekend, and e! online is being asked if she’s the worst singer in the shows 35 year history.
The answer is yes. Actually the answer is that it’s hard to even comprehend how fucking terrible Ke$ha is. She fails at every attempt to be shocking or interesting or sexy or creative. She’s ugly, she can’t sing, she can’t dance and her body is disgusting.
It takes some nerve for this bitch to talk shit about Britney lip-synching live shows. She has a band made up of space astronauts like its a fucking Kidz Bop video, and she uses a headset microphone, except for the times when she grabs a hand held microphone and uses both at the same time.
I’m not very good with numbers but I thought that if you doubled something you got more of it. So if she sometimes uses two mics, and those mics are plugged in, it should be louder than when she only uses one. But the audience didn’t roll around clutching their ears in agony because someone just doubled the wall of sound smashing into them, so clearly I was mistaken. Looks like I owe Ke$ha an apology.
SANDRA BULLOCK - was photographed last week without her wedding ring on. Wait, is there some sort of trouble in her marriage? This is the first I’ve heard of anything like that. (people)
ELIN NORDEGREN - packed up the two kids she had with Tiger Woods and flew home to Sweden in a private jet yesterday. She and Tiger continue to live separately and spend virtually no time together. It sounds a lot like my marriage to Megan Fox. (radar)
KIM KARDASHIAN - is defending herself after PETA complained about the way she picked up a kitty in this picture. “Rest assured, the owner and vet were on set and showed me how to pick him up. The cat was not harmed in any way and is perfectly fine! I love animals and would never do anything to harm animals.” That cat is a hero. When she picks it up, it lifts her huge tits and makes them look awesome. It’s a WonderCat. (kim kardashian)
PEOPLE WHO READ TYLER - are sexy. Like Cami for example. And she wants to be in Front magazine, so go to her facebook and stare at her hot ass, because apparently that will help for some reason. It feels good to help others. That’s what this website is all about. (facebook)
Australia must have the coolest vibe in the world because it seems like all their supermodels just go to the beach and hang out. Yesterday it was Victoria’s Secret model Jessica Hart on Bondi Beach in Sydney. We don’t get that here. Marisa Miller never puts on a tiny bikini and walks up and down the beach. Which really really sucks. Is there anything better than a hot girl with big tits walking around in a bikini? Yeah, you bet there is. As long as you’re a fag.