britney still calls sam and adnan

By brendon February 24, 2009 @ 6:34 AM

At a hearing yesterday in Los Angeles, Jamie Spears (Britney’s dad) testified that Britney has been using a secret pre-paid cell phone to speak to Sam Lutfi and Adnan Ghalib.  Lufti and Ghalib of course are the two men who spent the most time with Britney when her life was in ruins and they both look like what al qaeda people look like when they’re trying to make you think they're not al qaeda.  These phone calls would violate the restraining order issued against Luft and Ghalib.  TMZ says…

Jamie Spears is on the stand right now, explaining that Britney somehow got her hands on a pre-paid cell phone, which caused him fits because they have been strictly monitoring the phones she's able to use.  The nanny heard Britney talking to Sam and Adnan on the pre-paid phone in the wee hours of the morning one day. It appears Jamie believes Sam and Adnan got her the phone in an attempt to poison her against Jamie and to torpedo the conservatorship. 



Jamie might be overreacting here.  Maybe Sam and Abdul aren’t so bad.  One way to find out would be to load them into a rocket and shoot them into the sun.  It’s basically just killing them but it sounds kind of sciencey.  If Britney keeps doing as well as she has been, you know those dudes were to blame.  And if she has a relapse anyway, hey, no harm done.  We still have all that new data about the sun.

madonna was wearing millions

By brendon February 23, 2009 @ 1:37 PM

OK! magazine says that Madonna wore millions of dollars worth of jewelery last night to parties around LA after the Academy Awards, all part of her 20 year campaign to annoy every single person on earth.  To the Vanity Fair party she wore:

- A black and white diamond chain with 500 carats of the shiny stones
 (here)
- A diamond bangle with 25 carats of diamonds and platinum
 (here)
- An onyx and diamond bracelet with 50 carats of diamonds  
(here)
- A pair of diamond pear shape earrings of 20 carats each
 (here and here)
- A square diamond and onyx ring

 (here)

Then for her own private party, she put on even more diamonds, including…

a cross and chain with 100 carats of diamonds, bracelets with 50 carats of diamonds, long diamond earrings worth 1 million dollars and a huge diamond and platinum ring.

I don't have any pictures of that, but I think you get the idea.  In a related story, my bed is stuffed with hay.  Yaay!

beyonce had a little slip

By brendon February 23, 2009 @ 12:27 PM

Beyonce apparently slipped out of the top of her dress last night during the Academy Awards big musical dance number (close up here), but I didn’t notice at first because who cares.  It's just Beyonce.  It seems she could have worn pasties or tape or something, so maybe this "accident" was no accident.  I think the same way when I go out.  I use my sexuality as a weapon.  Mainly after seeing that number last night I was left with the impression that Zac Efron is growing up right before our eyes.  My, he’s practically a lady.  Where does the time go?

the first song from tinted windows

By brendon February 23, 2009 @ 12:24 PM

Rolling Stone has the first single from "Tinted Windows", a band made up of James Iha from "Smashing Pumpkins", Adam Schlesinger from "Fountains of Wayne", Bun E. Carlos from "Cheap Trick" and Taylor Hanson from "MmmBop" and "MmmBop" remixes.  The band was formed when someone at a record label chose random names out of a hat. 

The song is called "Kind of a Girl" (you can hear it here).   It's pretty dark stuff.  The first two lines are, "she’s the kind of girl you can't get enough of, she's the kind of a girl need to feel the touch of".  Later we find out she's the kind of girl you can never let go.  It's like the entire thing was written with nothing but Hallmark refrigerator poetry.

lindsay lohan is doing great

By brendon February 23, 2009 @ 11:01 AM

Lindsay Lohan walked the red carpet at the Mercedes Benz Oscar party in Beverly Hills last night, and it’s easy to see why her weight loss has been the topic of so much conversation lately.  It’s also to see why I chose the "resting-my-chin-on-my-knuckles" pose for my senior pictures.  So sexy.  She should get someone to photoshop it inside a rook with a soft filter around her like Olin Mills did for me.  All of my grandmothers agreed, I looked soo handsome.  

(image source = pacific coast)

natalie portman at the academy awards

By brendon February 23, 2009 @ 3:07 AM

Natalie Portman looked hot of course in her purple dress at the Academy Awards last night, but she would have looked better topless in tight leather pants with her hands cupped over her breasts.  Did she even look at the sketches I sent over?  Jesus, why do I even bother!

(picture source = getty images)

freida pinto at the academy awards

By brendon February 23, 2009 @ 2:23 AM

What a night for Freida Pinto and the cast of Slumdog Millionaire.  No one had ever heard of this chick a year ago, now she’s talked about as the next big thing and one of the hottest chicks on earth.  It was life changing for the little kids from the movie too.  I bet they’ll be the most popular kids in the factory next week when they’re making tennis shoes for 10 cents a day. 

(picture source = getty images)

vanessa at the academy awards

By brendon February 23, 2009 @ 2:22 AM

I’m trying to focus on Vanessa Hudgens because she’s such a hot little piece of ass, but there’s a lady behind her with huge juggs and it’s super distracting.  The geriatric lust I’m feeling right now is new and confusing, but god almighty big tits are just the best.  They’re my weakness.  You might as well give a diabetic a bag of sugar.

(picture source = getty images)