Corey Feldman Being Bullied by Anti-Bully Lobby for Claiming He Was Bullied

By Lex September 05, 2013 @ 11:15 AM

Corey Feldman threw a $250 entry rent party and when some chick from Vice magazine ran unflattering photos of he and the skanks at his ho-down, he went online and compared it to being bullied. Twenty-five years ago, when Corey was professionally relevant, saying you were being bullied didn’t mean shit and everybody would call you a pussy and Mike Brady would teach you how to box. But now the ‘B’ word is so fucking hot button that calling upon it in your rhetoric is the equivalent of yelling ¡fuego! in an ELL class. It gets a reaction from all corners of the pearl clutchig world. Like this professor of bullying from Drexel University:

“This is horrible! I can’t believe that Corey would utilize such a serious issue to gain traction for his ‘comeback.’ If this is what I think it is, Corey should be ashamed and every national bullying organization should demand he apologize. This could be what I call the ‘Miley Cyrus Effect’ – doing anything, no matter how pathetic, in order to get attention.”  -  Dr. Chuck Williams, Drexel University Clinical Professor and Director of the Center for the Prevention of School-Aged Violence.

Whoa, there, Dr. Chuck, quit bullying Miley Cyrus with your ‘Miley Cyrus Effect’ slurs. That might even be racist too now that Miley is black. And how exactly should these bullying organizations demand his apologize? Sounds pretty damn schoolyard. Bully physician professor person, heal thyself.

I think we can all learn a lesson in this Corey Feldman bullying debate. That it’s never right to unfairly or harshly criticize or seek to hurt others merely for sport or spectacle or some cheap thrill. Also, that the wrong Corey died.

Photo credit: Vice

Looking Good, Nick Nolte

By Travis September 05, 2013 @ 11:00 AM

A lot of people like to make fun of Nick Nolte because he always looks like he just lost a knife fight to a gang of homeless men, but I give the guy a lot of credit for being 72-years old and not giving a shit what he looks like. Hell, I’m surprised that he’s only 72. If I saw him out walking around Beverly Hills looking like this yesterday, I would have guessed anywhere between 84 and 136. Sure, he was once People’s Sexiest Man Alive, but at least he’s not fooling himself like half the men in Hollywood by wearing shitty toupees and having his face pulled back like a slingshot. Good for you, Nick Nolte.

(Photo Credits: Winston Burris/

Stop Looking At Miley Cyrus, You Guys

By Travis September 05, 2013 @ 10:00 AM

Miley Cyrus recently claimed that the reason she has been twerkin’ up a storm and “making history” by rubbing her ass on Robin Thicke is because she only sleeps 45 minutes a day and spends the rest of her time in the studio recording hot new rap tracks. So that’s why she was probably covering her face with her expensive Chanel purse when she showed up to the studio yesterday, because she was looking a little tired and worn out.

I have to admit, though, if this is the start of a trend, and Miley covers her face so we have to look at her ass more often, I might actually change my mind about this autotuned disaster of a singer.

(Photo Credits:

Natasha Henstridge Seems Like A Lot Of Fun

By Travis September 05, 2013 @ 9:00 AM

Answering the question, “What the hell ever happened to Natasha Henstridge?” the 39-year old star of Species and Ghosts of Mars was out partying with some friends in West Hollywood last night, and she definitely looked a little different from what I remembered. Natasha apparently had some struggles with her weight in recent years, as she once claimed that in order to keep her body in such amazing shape, she was using some pretty bad and unhealthy diet pills, which she has since stopped using.

Fortunately, she never named which pills she used, so she didn’t ruin the fun for the rest of the young, hot actresses who want to keep working.

(Photo Credits: FayesVision/

Playmate Jaclyn Swedberg Does A Photoshoot On The Beach

By Lex September 04, 2013 @ 6:28 PM

Jaclyn Swedberg Has A Sexy Photoshoot On The Beach In Santa Monica
Jaclyn Swedberg is the kind of girl at a party who every guy lies to about what he does. For instance, instead of semi-employed blogger and bottle recycler, I’d tell her I’m an animal trainer. And when she asks me what kind of animals, I’ll blurt out that I want to have sex with her really really badly. I’m horrible with cover stories.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Fat Girl Gearing Up for Big Fat Lawsuit

By Lex September 04, 2013 @ 5:07 PM

In terms of ranking who not to fuck with, I’d go with bipolar UFC ground gamer, ruthless Mexican drug lord, and fat girls with litigious moms in a close third. There’s a big Internet hue and cry over how one chunky teen was mistreated at a mall store in Oregon, and the entire story seems fishy.

On Saturday, Shelby Buster, 14, was walking through the Valley River Center Mall in Eugene with her mother, Marjory Buster, and a friend named Jennica. Excited to shop without her mom for the first time ever, she and Jennica entered the women’s clothing store rue21, where she encountered a rude surprise.

“I walked in and the lady at the front counter said ‘hey you’re too big to be in this store, I need you to leave,’” Shelby told Oregon local news station KEZI on Sunday.

Here’s a few things I don’t believe. That there’s a real life fat girl named Shelby Buster. That anybody names their kid Jennica. And that even the bitchiest dimwit of a sales girl would run over to an innocent fat girl minding her own business and tell her she’s too fat too shop in her store. I guess I do believe that part about how Shelby was excited to shop without her mom for the first time ever because I just assume young girls think inane stuff like that.

After supposedly being brazenly humiliated about her size, Shelby did what any fat girl would do, she went on social media and bitched about the rotten bitchy sales girl. Then her mom got into the outraged act on Facebook and got Shelby on a local TV channel to spin her harrowing tale. Then nobody decided that maybe Shelby should eat a salad every now and then or maybe hit the public pool for a few laps.

What is definitely coming is some kind of financial settlement from the crappy mall store to the fat girl’s mother. The big winner will likely be the local Arby’s restaurant outlets, or Oversized Swans, the ballet school for large girls with even larger dreams that I just invented.

Alessandra Ambrosio In A Bikini

By Lex September 04, 2013 @ 4:01 PM

Alessandra Ambrosio In A Floral Bikini At The Beach In Malibu
Alessandra Ambrosio took off her hat at the beach today, so she’s probably already dead. As you may know, any direct contact between rich or famous women and the ultraviolet rays of the sun are a virtual death sentence. Or sun spots in their early to mid 80′s. You decide which is worse.

Photo Credit: Splash

Kate Upton Is Your Model of the Year

By Lex September 04, 2013 @ 3:37 PM

Kate Upton On The Cover Of Vanity Fair's 100th Issue
It’s important to Kate Upton that you remember that she’s not a sex object. I’m not sure what we’re supposed to do with this admonition specifically, Maybe review her grade school art folder as you whack off to her? Either way, the non-object has accepted the title of model of the year for the Style Awards, whatever the hell those are. But it must be important, because it’s being televised on E!, which means there will be bulimic over-made up shrews talking about shit I don’t care about as all the while I’m objectifying Kate Upton. I’m weak in the soul and Kate Upton is cursed with being a great looking blond with nice tits. The universe has a master plan and Kate Upton is still trying to fight it.

Photo Credit: Vanity Fair