Scientologists Really Really Angry

January 27, 2015 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

A new documentary called Going Clear is being roundly applauded at the Sundance Film Festival which likely means it’s cloying and unwatchable. It spills a bunch of beans about Scientology like how they abuse children and subvert labor laws... READ MORE

Seahawks’ Super Fan Going Away for a While

January 27, 2015 | WTF | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Scott Shelton is an unemployed father of two and convicted felon who will soon return to prison for a parole violation. Outside of that, his main claim to fame is he caught the football Seahawks receiver Jermaine Kearse threw into... READ MORE

Miley Cyrus Topless With Patrick Schwarzenegger

January 27, 2015 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

I’m not coming to bury Miley Cyrus. I’m coming to praise her. Not her twink body and the excessive tats or how she used black magic to make Maxim designate her the best looking woman in the universe and slit... READ MORE

Victoria’s Secret Intends to Win the Super Bowl

January 27, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

People who say the commercials are the best part about the Super Bowl have never seen Katy Perry sing over a pre-recorded track to staged multicultural fans screaming their heads off. Until they allow tits on network television, the... READ MORE

Charles Blow Seems Like a Good Dad

January 27, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Charles Blow is one of the many columnists who reports on race for the New York Times so the people who read the Times can feel appropriately horrible about themselves. It’s all that’s holding circulation together at this point. Charles... READ MORE

John Legend Is A Lucky Asshole And Shit Around The Web

January 27, 2015 | crap around the web | editor| 0 Comments

John Legend showed what a lucky son of a bitch he is by making out with his super hot girlfriend Chrissy Teigen in the pages of GQ. There’s also the questionable popularity of his music, but that must come second.... READ MORE

Goldie, Kate and Donatella Ready to Wear

January 26, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

It’s a matter of opinion as to who among the group of girlfriends is the one staying home on Saturday night, but I’ll randomly bet behind the one who resembles a Tim Burton stop-motion character. Goldie Hawn insisted on... READ MORE

Miss Lebanon’s Future Seems Bleak

January 26, 2015 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

When you leave Beirut on the burro for the Miss Universe pageant, you’re given two instructions. Smile like you’re from a better country and don’t get fucking near Miss Israel or Hezbollah will decapitate your family and shit down their... READ MORE

Porn Remains Our National Treasure

January 26, 2015 | Photos | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

No matter how commercially bankrupt we become as a nation, we still exult the shit out of the gritty womenfolk who fuck on camera. Farrah Abraham, who is a mom and not a porn star, led a cavalcade of... READ MORE