that’s not how you use that

By brendon July 03, 2012 @ 12:31 PM

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Pictured: A stubby box filled with alcohol who is only popular at parties for sluts pushing a case of Coors Light.

(image source of snooki in seaside heights yesterday = pacific coast)

Candice Swanepoel is making a fool of herself

By brendon July 03, 2012 @ 11:40 AM

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Candice Swanepoel went to Miami beach this morning, even though Arianny Celeste was just there and looked way better. More importantly, Arianny is American and involved with the UFC, while Candice is some treacherous South African.

Does she really think she can just walk right on one of our beaches the day before Americas birthday and get away with it? Guess again comrade! Booo! Get outa here, you suck! Go back to the Kremlin you skanky bitch!

(image source = splash)

Arianny Celeste is in a bikini

By brendon July 03, 2012 @ 11:21 AM

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UFC ring girl and model Arianny Celeste was on Miami beach yesterday, prancing around with her perfect body in a bikini, frolicking with her friends in the water, and taking group pictures of their asses. Which would be fine but my sources in North Carolina tell me Andy Griffith was found at his keyboard with a belt around his neck.

So thanks a lot Arianny Celeste. You made yourself too hot and now you killed folksy Hollywood icon Andy Griffith. I hope you’re really proud of yourself.

(image source = splash)

Andy Griffith died this morning

By brendon July 03, 2012 @ 10:33 AM

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NBC is reporting that Hollywood legend Andy Griffith died around 7am this morning at his home in North Carolina. No cause of death is known at this time. He was 86.

Though he had a long and respected career as an actor, he may mostly be remembered for his effortless charm and his starring roles in ‘It’s A Wonderful Life’ and ‘The Beverly Hillbillies’. Unless that was someone else, in which case he won’t.

Naomi Watts is Princess Diana

By brendon July 02, 2012 @ 5:50 PM

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Here are the first pictures of Naomi Watts as Princess Diana on the set of ‘Caught In The Flight’ in London, and at first I thought the idea of Watts impersonating Diana was extremely disrespectful. But now I see they mean back when Diana was still alive.

(image source of Watts, seen here being able to get out of a limo, which does sorta seem like bragging on her part since that was Diana’s achilles heel = splash)

Katie Holmes seems to be doing ok

By brendon July 02, 2012 @ 5:15 PM

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Rather than hide and let things build up into some weird frenzy, Katie Holmes moved on with her life today, taping a guest judge appearance on ‘Project Runway: All Stars’ at the Parsons School for Design in New York. It’s her first public appearance since her divorce to Tom Cruise was announced on Friday.

Which is good because there’s no word on when her next public appearance might be. It really all depends on how soon Scientology can kidnap her. They’ll fly her to their fortress inside a volcano on a secret island, but once they break her will again she’ll do plenty of interviews. No question will be off limits, but every answer will be, “I… love … Tom… Cruise Tom Cruise is great.”

(image source = pacific coast, splash, fame)

one of these is Alec Baldwins teen daughter, the other his wife

By brendon July 02, 2012 @ 4:28 PM

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Alec Baldwin got married on Saturday to one of the girls with him in these pictures, hopefully the brunette in the middle (28-year-old yoga instructor Hilaria Thomas) because the super tall blond is his 16-year-old daughter from his marriage to Kim Bassinger, Ireland Baldwin.

Ireland joined Alec and his new wife for lunch in New York yesterday, and that thoughtless little pig didn’t even bother to do her hair or put on a nice outfit. She should probably skip any new voice mails from dad for the next few days.

(image source = splash)

Mila Kunis really is dating Ashton Kutcher

By brendon July 02, 2012 @ 2:41 PM

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Mila Kunis dated Kevin from ‘Home Alone’ for almost a decade, for no outwardly apparent reason, so either that was an anomaly or she has shockingly low standards.

According to these picture captions, the answer is shockingly low standards.

New couple Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis out for lunch with a friend at the Soho House in West Hollywood, California on June 30.

Hopefully they at least broke the news to Fez in person so he didn’t have to find out like this.