By Lex June 14, 2013 @ 12:54 PM
Leave it to the Irish to cover up the single compelling aspect to Rihanna. What’s the concern? Irish men will see the naked exotic woman and diminish their desire to spill their seed into pasty chunky girls in cankle length skirts? Doubt it. So long as the drinks flow, Eire, you’ll still hold the birth rate title in the Western World. Now quit covering up Rihanna’s tits and get back to picking them potatoes for me Mulligan stew.
Photo Credit: Twitter
By Lex June 14, 2013 @ 12:10 PM
Farrah Abraham does not want notoriety. Can she be any clearer about this? She does not want attention from any of her personal appearances, promotional events, or staged publicity moments. You can say she does, but that’s just you saying it. She’s not listening. She knows what she knows. You are wrong. She is right. Do not look behind the curtain!
Here’s Farrah Abraham showing off her panties at a magazine cover party in New Jersey. She’s not really there and her P.R. team didn’t really invite the media to attend and that’s not her underwear you’re seeing.
Photo Credit: INF
By Travis June 14, 2013 @ 11:00 AM
Snowpiercer is the story of a post-apocalyptic America in which all of the survivors live on a gigantic train that just keeps circling the globe because everything else is covered in ice and too cold for humans. Except for Arizona, probably, because that place is always a fiery hell. But just like any good future, the poor are separated from the rich and reminded how awful they are until Chris Evans finds an ax and an Asian guy and they start fucking all of the wealthy people up.
I wonder if Chris used to tell the other actors on the set of Not Another Teen Movie that one day he’d be a huge action movie star and how hard that dorky white kid who pretended to be Asian laughed at him before they both wondered what Chyler Leigh looked like naked.
By Lex June 14, 2013 @ 10:33 AM
It was just a couple years ago that Scarlett Johansson’s attorney was threatening to sue the shit out of everybody and their mother if they shared her nude cellphone pictures. Scarlett was so shaken up, she started having sex with Sean Penn. No woman should ever have to feel that low. Now, Scarlett’s made a return to social media to share her own sexy self picture. Because that’s just how celebrities are. They want attention. They just want it on their own terms. Which is just like every other person in this world if every other person in the world had tons of money and a Century City law firm on retainer.
By Travis June 14, 2013 @ 10:00 AM
Yesterday, we brought you the incredibly important news that four former Miss USA winners – Shanna Moakler, Susie Castillo, Shandi Finnessey and Alyssa Campanella – took off all of their clothes and covered their breasts for PETA. A braver act we hadn’t seen in some time, that is, until PETA released a video of the four women naked, holding their breasts and suddenly animals seemed less delicious.
I’m not a genius or anything, but I’m pretty sure that if Alyssa Campanella spent her time getting naked for various global causes and charities, we’d be living in utopia by yesterday.
By Travis June 14, 2013 @ 9:00 AM
Just like Meryl Streep, Julia Roberts, Madonna and all of the other hugely successful female celebrities that she aspires to be like, Farrah Abraham spent the evening judging a pole dancing competition. And that’s not even the tip of the iceberg for her meteoric expectations, because now she has her heart set on the greatest of all career moves – a guest role on Anger Management.
According to TMZ, Farrah recently sent Charlie Sheen a rambling, incoherent text message about how she “was excited to meet” him and “would love to meet” him, and possibly even set up a play date for their children or just get coffee. Charlie responded with “you sound fabulous!” and told her that he’d love to get together.
Then he set his phone down, peered into the soulless eyes of the 19-year old girl who was giving him a blowjob and whispered, “You’re getting a friend.”
(Photo Credits: Getty)
By Lex June 13, 2013 @ 5:42 PM
The closer Amanda gets to no-return batshit crazy, the more fun she gets. All the decent people are asking that she get help, but those people just hate good entertainment. They would have protested the gladiator fights at the coliseum. Oh, no, one of them gets stabbed through the lung at the end. Boo fucking hoo. It’s great sport. A couple days ago she called Miley Cyrus ‘ugly’ on Twitter. Apparently, she disagrees with Maxim magazine. Then Miley came back at her with a supportive note, which confused the beast, who fired back the only compliment she could think of, ‘I want your nose’. What she really means is ‘I’d like to slice off your nose with a box cutter and hang it on my necklace of human body parts’. Which makes this even more fun. Because you know she will try.
By Lex June 13, 2013 @ 4:28 PM
If these girls truly cared about animals, they’d show us their tits. You’re half in ladies? Fine. I’m skinning a mink alive tonight.