By brendon April 06, 2010 @ 10:53 AM
Yesterday the internet was all ramped up because there was a story claiming Sandra Bullock had a super deviant sex tape with Jesse James.
It includes James smearing feces on Bullock’s upper lip during various types of anal sex, lots of profanity hurled from both parties, and a leather clad James, sporting a Hitler moustache with brown hat with a swastika, ramming a handcuffed Bullock’s asshole with a shotgun in his left hand.
Seriously? Are we being serious? Sandra Bullock. Getting anally raped. With a shotgun. And she filmed it. Seriously?
Read more >
By brendon April 06, 2010 @ 9:34 AM
JOSLYN JAMES - is the porn star who thought she was in ‘Pretty Woman’ and she and Tiger Woods were gonna go to the polo match hand in hand. She “retired” from porn to hold press conferences to cry a lot and demand respect, but now she’s going back to porn. Mission accomplished! (nypost)
AUDRINA PATRIDGE - may have broken up with Ryan Cabrera this weekend after they had a fight in Vegas. “This is so typical of Ryan”, is what I might say if I had any idea who the fuck that was. (page six)
KE$HA - has a terrible body, so naturally she wore a zebra-striped catsuit for a concert in Palm Springs. Either that or it was a black catsuit that she was too fat for and now it’s ripping apart. (the sun)
GANJA GIRLS - isn’t relevant to be honest with you, but pictures of hot girls in their underwear getting high is oddly fascinating. If Northern California ever became it’s own state, they should use this picture for their state flag. I would totally move there. (how to grow bud)
By brendon April 05, 2010 @ 5:25 PM
Elin Nordegren still hasn’t made it clear if she’s going to take Tiger Woods back after all his whoring around, but as he prepares to return to golf this week at The Masters, it seems like she shouldn’t because he hasn’t changed a bit. CBS Sports says…
The world’s greatest golfer said he wasn’t sure what to expect from fans when he showed up at Augusta National, and was pleasantly surprised when he received a warm reception. It “touched my heart pretty good,” he said.
“The galleries couldn’t be nicer. The encouragement that I got, it blew me away,” he said.
“I haven’t looked forward to that first tee shot in a long time, not like this. It feels fun again. That’s something that’s been missing,” he said. “I’ve won numerous tournaments in the last few years, but I wasn’t having anywhere near the amount of fun, and why? Because look what I was engaged in. When you’re living a life where you’re lying all the time, life is not fun. And that’s where I was. Now that’s been stripped all away and here I am, and it feels fun again.”
The best way to tell someone is lying is because they over explain everything. “I wasn’t having any fun because look what I was engaged in”? STFU Tiger. Banging whores is fun. That’s why it’s so popular. That’s he did it for years. I understand his “living a lie” point, but those quotes are the kind of thing a robot from outer space would say if you asked him about cheating and it just read off its files on human emotions but didn’t really understand what he was saying. It’s just what he was supposed to say. That’s Tiger. He’s a robot who has no idea what’s going on.
By brendon April 05, 2010 @ 3:43 PM
If all you saw was Mischa Bartons face, you might think to yourself, hey this chick is kind of cute. But she’s like an iceberg. She’s a big triangle and her head is the point at the top. 98 percent of her mass is underneath. And like an iceberg, just seeing her face lulls you into a false sense of hope and by the time you realize her horrible secret, only despair awaits you.
(source = inf daily)
By brendon April 05, 2010 @ 12:40 PM
Jesse James was supposed to spend 45 days in sex rehab in a half-assed attempt to convince Sandra Bullock that he wanted to stop banging random whores. Now that he had been caught, that is. Now he wants to stop.
Unfortunately for him, Sandra was unmoved by this hollow gesture, so he goose-stepped out early this morning after staying just 4 days. The New York Post says…
Jesse James reportedly bolted from a sex-addition clinic after his Oscar-winning wife refused to take his phone call.
An angry James checked out of the Sierra Tucson treatment center, because Sandra Bullock, whom he betrayed with a bevy of babes, apparently wants nothing more to do with him.
Bullock is reportedly concerned that James will try for a face-to-face reconciliation.
This dork is so screwed. People love Sandra Bullock, and this tubby poser really embarrassed her. His reputation couldn’t be any worse unless he left rehab, drove to Disneyland and punched Winnie The Pooh in the face.
GROVELING UPDATE – aaaand now he’s back in.
By brendon April 05, 2010 @ 12:03 PM
SANDRA BULLOCK - has begun preparing her divorce papers, and thanks to a kickass pre-nup, Jesse James will walk away with nothing. Except for his awesome sleeve tats, that is. That guy is a real winner. (radar)
CLASH OF THE TITANS - made an astounding 64 million at the box office this weekend. I was so amazed I read this article to my 3-year-old nephew. “The Kraken was released, and it devoured the Easter bunny,” it began. Oh stop crying. It’s time for you to grow up. (b.o.m.)
DANA WHITE - is up for Times Top 100. People should vote for him because he’s changed the culture of sports in America, and he’s on a list with a bunch of retarded fucking actors who don’t influence a god damn thing. Except for Zoe Saldana, who influences me to go jackoff, and Jenny McCarthy, who has killed over 500 kids. She’s like Stalin. I guess that would be considered influential. (time)
AUDRINA PATRIDGE - hosted a party at MGM’s Wet Republic pool bar in Vegas over the weekend. She’s so helpful. I’ve been hearing a lot about huge breasts on the news lately, so it was good to finally see what everyone has been raving about.
By brendon April 05, 2010 @ 9:47 AM
Jesus came back from the dead yesterday, but the real winners were the people on Miami Beach who got to see Swiss model and apparent godless heathen Michelle Hunziker in a bikini. A dumb Ed Hardy bikini, but when your body is this perfect it doesn’t matter what you wear as long as it fits like a tattoo. Just like when I do the stairmaster at the gym in my red and white lycra singlet.
(image source = splash news online)
By brendon April 05, 2010 @ 9:03 AM
Katy Perry spent Easter Sunday with bf Russel Brand in Los Feliz, wearing a bikini top and some bunny ears that pointed all the way to heaven praise His name. At least I hope this was for Easter. Either that or they just ruined someones funeral.
(image source = fame pictures and splash news online)