Being Dwayne Johnson Not Worth It

December 10, 2014 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Dwayne Johnson is open about being an insane workout guy. This is refreshing if you’ve ever met the super ripped dude who claims he only works out on occasion yet actually owns three gym memberships so people don’t notice what a psycho... READ MORE

Charlie Sheen Allowed Around Children

December 10, 2014 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Charlie Sheen and his ex procreation and crack smoking partner Brooke Mueller have agreed on a custody arrangement of their troubled twin sons. Sheen will be allowed monitored visits as he flop sweats through two hours of sobriety while... READ MORE

Jessica Hart In Painted On Bikini

December 10, 2014 | Uncategorized | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Jessica Hart posed for Porter Magazine in a painted on gold bikini. I feel weird when I wear boxer briefs at the Hard Rock pool because I forgot to bring swim trunks. Actually that might be justified. Even getting... READ MORE

Sharon Osbourne And Jay Leno Have Fucked

December 10, 2014 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Sharon Osbourne revealed a few details of the time she fucked Jay Leno to the Stern show while people listening vomited into their waste baskets at work. Outside of the surprising news that Leno indeed has a functioning human dick,... READ MORE

Abercrombie Loses 70 Year Old Punk Kid CEO

December 10, 2014 | WTF | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Mike Jeffries, the creepy CEO of Abercrombie and Fitch who was almost certainly the inspiration for every 80’s rich kid movie villain, is retiring. Abercrombie has fallen on hard times. With the advancement of gay rights many have found they can... READ MORE

Alyssa Milano Works Them Bigguns

December 10, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Ever since Alyssa Milano and her mom went Lone Ranger and Tonto across the Internet lassoing up all her titty pictures, she’s felt a certain sense of regret. This roundup occurred before the science had been settled as to... READ MORE

Beyonce and Jay Z Greet the Future King and Queen of England

December 10, 2014 | Photos | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

The royals of England came and met with the Beyonce and Jay Z to discuss such things as how best to garage your fleet of Bentleys during the snowy season and a brief but telling trivia contest on how little... READ MORE

Olivia Wilde Wears A Tiny Bikini

December 10, 2014 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

I could see fathering children with Olivia Wilde. I know exactly how it would go down starting with the eliciting of wallowing pity. People talk about sympathy fucks like they’re somehow unworthy of being called sex. Everybody has an... READ MORE

Hailey Baldwin Dances In A Bra (VIDEO)

December 10, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Hailey Baldwin is best friends with the model formerly known as Kendall Jenner so they let her show off her tits as well for the Love magazine calendar. I don’t think it’s actually a calendar so much as a... READ MORE

Ridley Scott Doesn’t Give A Fuck And Shit Around The Web

December 10, 2014 | crap around the web | editor| 0 Comments

People who get pissed are pissed that Ridley Scott cast a bunch of white actors to play the biblical roles in his new Exodus blockbuster. Everybody not in historical denial understands there were no caucasians or blue eyes in the... READ MORE