Katherine Webb Quit Splash

It seems that a back injury may be responsible for the end of Katherine Webb's 15 minutes of fame, that is until Donald Trump either makes it so she wins Miss USA or finds a spot for her on Celebrity Apprentice. But the Miss Alabama USA who got Brent Musberger's hog... read more

Macauley Caulkin Sings Kokomo, Attacks Paparazzi (VIDEO)

I know some of you can never get past seeing Macauley Culkin as little Kevin from the Home Alone movie franchise. You're not really being fair. It's time we all started thinking of Macauley as the now 32-year old strung out wayward drifting metrosexual who believes that... read more

Leonardo DiCaprio Told Esquire Why He Has So Much Sex

When Leonardo DiCaprio was snubbed for an Academy Award nomination for his very deserving performance in Django Unchained, he didn't sulk or complain like some whiny bitch. Or maybe he did, I don't really know, because I was too busy being jealous of him for spending an... read more

Snoop Calls Miley Cyrus 'One of the Greatest Musicians' Ever

My friend Jess once proposed that the definition of 'too high' is when you're watching the Cartoon Network and you realize it's been four hours since you last checked a clock. Meh, declaring Miley Cyrus 'one of the greatest musicians of all time' is a much better... read more

'Chas' Takes Home the Devil's Gold

'Chas' did win the entirely democratic banner contest voting process. I defy Jimmy Carter to come in here and monitor the results. Chas' minimal changes strategy paid off with 33% of the vote. Although you could say 67% voted for something different. But then you'd be... read more

Is Everybody From Brazil a Model?

I've never met an ugly girl from Brazil. Is it just that the hot women are all fleeing and the South American nation is left with a herd of fugly women? I call this the every-town-in-Ohio-effect. Or are Brazilian women just disproportionately attractive. Some cauldron of... read more

Rachael Ray Hates Fat People and Skinny People (VIDEO)

It seems like a challenge to piss both fat people and skinny people off, but Rachael Ray's TV show has managed to do so. Christina Pagliarolo weighs 60 pounds over the Mendoza Line and she doesn't like angry dick trainers calling her a fat-ass and making her hike off... read more

Fuck You, Jennifer Aniston

I don't want to write this post because Jennifer Aniston WANTS me to write this post and I detest that woman more than my period getting in the way of a solid weekend of sex. Which, yes, I am currently on, so yes, I'm feeling extra cunty. Guys, just pretend all the TV... read more

The Rest of the Allure Magazine Not Quite Nudes

If there's one thing I hate, it's hypocrisy. Well, hypocrisy and canned tuna fish. I'm sorry, I know you love fish that comes compressed in a can, but it's simply not natural. But I don't have to eat it, I do have to swallow the hypocrisy of corporate America by way of a... read more

Peter Griffin Is The Head Of The Illuminati

We were all sickened by the bombings at the Boston Marathon earlier this week. After the initial shock of the act had subsided I had a thought that I have soon after any of these events: How are conspiracy theorists going to spin this into their Illuminati narrative?... read more

Rachel Bilson In A Bikini In Barbados

Girls get incredibly more fun when you take them somewhere far away. Rachel Bilson is the height of annoying modesty when on American soil, but take her offshore to a place like Barbados and suddenly she's in a tiny bikini running along the beach like an escaped convict.... read more

Is There A Bigamy Relationship Status?

Imagine if you found out that your spouse was married to someone else...on Facebook. That's what happened to a woman when the annoying "People You Might Know" function on the site suggested that she 'friend' her husband's other wife. A guy named Alan O'Neil had separated... read more