Britney Spears denies that her boyfriend hit her

A spokesman for Britney Spears and Jason Trawick has made a statement about todays report in Star magazine claiming that Trawick hits Britney. I think he's denying it. "Every aspect of the story published by Star Magazine is completely and utterly false. Star Magazine was informed of the falsity of the story before it was published. All the statements attributable to Jason Alexander are completely fabricated. The...read more

Jake Gyllenhall and Taylor Swift are official... ly boring

Jake Gyllenhaal (who turns 30 in 3 weeks) and Taylor Swift (who turns 21 in 2 weeks) are officially dating, according to Us magazine. Oh, the excitement. Us has the first photos of Taylor Swift and Jake Gyllenhaal's romantic Thanksgiving Day weekend. Arm in arm, the two looked more smitten than ever as they took an afternoon stroll in Brooklyn's Park Slope neighborhood Dating for just five weeks, the romance is...read more

what in the hell

Jason Trawick has been a well known talent agent for a long time because of high profile clients like Britney Spears, whom he also started dating two years ago, and he's generally given a degree of credit for her comeback because he's been seen as a steadying influence on her once chaotic life. But today Star magazine goes on sale with a cover story claiming Trawick is secretly some violent lunatic who gave Britney a...read more

Henifaa Yopez is a pervert who flashes her kitty in public

Jennifer Lopez was married to a waiter named Ojai Noa from 1997-1998, but he's still not out of her life because, since at least 2006, he's been trying to release a book and video about her, one that would seemingly violate a confidentially agreement he signed in 2002. The reason he keeps trying to release these things is because the video shows Lopez flashing her vagina in public, and he's under the impression that's...read more

Kim Kardashian was teased because of her boobs

The assumption is that people who are uncommonly attractive and sexy have it easier in life, and of course that assumption is correct. It's wonderful. They don't even make me pay taxes. But Kim Kardashian says it wasn't always so easy on her, and she used to actually hate that her boobs were so big (like in the picture, full size here, when she was, ahem... 14). She tells Popeater... Kourtney used to torture me and...read more

Matt Lauer wants to know if the size of the package is important

Matt Lauer may be a respected journalist and well liked host of the Today Show, but he's a guy first, so this morning when he was talking to an attractive lady about grocery shopping, and he asked, "So the size of the package is very important?", and then she adamantly agrees that yes, the size of the package IS important, VERY important, he started to giggle. Because it's funny. Hehehe. "Package". And it didn't...read more

Madonna looks "puffy and bloated"

Madonna was in Mexico City yesterday for the opening of a Hard Candy gym, and though she usually looks ripped to hell, this time the Sun says she looked "puffy and bloated". Mostly they're referring to her face, and they're right. She's got those little beady eyes, and her face is all fat and pale and round. I think she might be related to Mr. Pringle. And then there's the way her gooey legs ooze out over the sides of...read more

Elle Macpherson is a good mom

Elle Macpherson is one of like 20 women on earth who could look this hot while dropping her kids off at school in the snow. There's no real proof that angels exist but this is pretty close. You just have to believe. Just like there's no proof that dinosaurs exist, or eskimos, and yet we believe in them.read more

Johnny Depp is still charming

A common problem for sex symbols like me and Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie and me is that the tabloids will claim you're stickin it to every girl you even have lunch with. And while that's true in my case, Johnny Depp tells Vanity Fair that he was careful to not spark any rumors about him and Angelina Jolie while they filmed the Tourist. Depp (talks) about the difficulties that arose while filming together—having to...read more

Kim Kardashian is canceling her debit card

Just about 3 weeks ago, Kim Kardashian was hosting a fancy party in New York to announce the Kardashian Mastercard, a pre-paid debit card that she hoped would teach todays young people about managing their money. But then nerds who were probably ugly or flat chested and jealous of Kim starting claiming the card is loaded with hidden fees. CNN Money says... While regular bank debit cards are typically free and don't...read more

Anne Hathaway and James Franco are hosting the Oscars

It's weird that at one point Anne Hathaway was considered a not-as-good version of Lindsay Lohan. Now Lindsay is such a cartoony punchline she should change her name because "Lindsay Lohan" is like "garbage men" or "Blackwater". It conjures up a negative image that she'll never escape. Anyway, Hathaway and James Franco are hosting the Academy Awards this year, which is a little weird since they'll both almost...read more

Monday morning headlines

LESLIE NIELSEN - died last night due to complications from pneumonia. The complication being that he had pneumonia. It's sometimes forgotten that he was a respected dramatic actor until Airplane in 1980, which is still his best movie. The key to good satire is to not acknowledge any of the weird shit happening around you and play everything real serious. That's what Scary/Epic/Disaster Movie doesn't understand....read more

Keshas idiocy is blinding

Normally we're the ones who have to suffer because of Ke$has dumb outfits, but she was wearing some 3D glasses as she left Jimmy Kimmel Live last night, and since the world is already 3D, that meant she couldn't see anything and was stumbling around like an idiot. She needs to realize that there are consequences to what you wear. I learned that the hard way when I accidentally stopped for a smoothie after a workout in...read more

Michael Brea from Ugly Betty chopped off his moms head

Yannick Brea really lost her head during an argument with her son this morning, and by that I mean he chopped it off with a sword while chanting religious passages. Yannick (not pictured above, or else this would have been fine) is the mother of Michael Brea, who is being called an actor though he's not even listed on IMDB. Nonetheless, the New York Post says... An actor who had a part in "Ugly Betty" repeatedly...read more

Charlie Sheen might be cleared by his text messages

It's illegal to choke a girl and lock her in your hotel bathroom, unless she's awesome and into that kind of thing. And that appears to be the case with Charlie Sheen and Capri Anderson, which would explain a lot regarding their New York City hotel room drama last month. TMZ has gotten a few text messages the two reportedly sent one another after the incident, and they could go a long way in helping Sheen. ANDERSON:...read more