Kristen Stewart Twice As Angry As Ever

Sometimes I wonder how awesome life would be if instead of flipping the bird, Kristen Stewart just held her breath when she got angry. Stop taking my picture! I'm not pretty! My parents are in the business! ~ Hu-ommmmmmmm. We could sit on a bench and drink a couple brews... read more

Porn Is The New Sex Ed

The British government's education department has declared war on porn...and is losing. The body that oversees sex education in schools is concerned over the ease of access to pornography and the distorted message all that double penetration and bukkake sends to kids.... read more

At Ellen's New Mansion, The Carpets Do Match The Drapes (And You're Eating Both If You Want to Move In)

There was this guy in my circle of friends, he used to hang out at the bars, get lucky with the ladies every now and then, until one day up and told everybody he was moving in with some older man. He declared himself gay, packed his few material goods, and moved into... read more

Melissa Riso In A Bikini

I read Melissa Riso's bio. She was working in a hair salon when somebody told her she should be a model. I never really believe these stories. I think girls who are really hot want to be models from the time they can recite the alphabet. They may not know what it means... read more

The Howe Twins Latest Plan to Mount Hollywood

The Howe Twins plan to fuck their way famous in Hollywood took a giant leap forward when the ambitious monozygotics brought homemade cupcakes to their clubbing birthday party. It's a pretty well known fact that men will move mountains for cupcakes. Also, and perhaps more... read more

Kurt Cobain's Daughter Takes On The Kardashians

Kendall Jenner is an aspiring model and the 17-year old sister of Kim Kardashian, and she spends a lot of her time Tweeting about her food, jewelry, fashion accessories and her Land Rover, most of which would not have been possible without big sis making amateur porn... read more

Taylor Swift Still Hates Justin Bieber

Taylor Swift won a bunch of awards at last Sunday's Billboard Music Awards, and then afterward she made that stupid face that she always makes when she pretends that she can't believe people like her vanilla ice cream pop music so much. But now she makes it ironically,... read more

Amanda Bynes Was Arrested For Drugs

Well, if Amanda Bynes thought her week was shitty when she was booted from her flight for having an expired driver's license, I'd hate to know what she thinks about it now. Drake's No. 1 fan was arrested on charges of reckless endangerment, tampering with evidence and... read more

Joe Francis Wanted to Shoot the Retards That Found Him Guilty (But Changed His Mind)

"I want that jury to know that each and every one of you are mentally fucking retarded, and you should be euthanized because, as Darwin said, you have naturally selected yourself. They should all be lined up and shot!" -- Joe Francis to The Hollywood Reporter Joe Francis... read more

Amanda Seyfried Thinks Hollywood Shrunk Her Boobies

Amanda Seyfried has a strange theory about her incredible shrinking tits: It's Hollywood's fault. This would seem counter-intuitive as Hollywood usually prefers their titties off the Big and Beefy menu. When she was a youngin', in such films as Mean Girls and that show... read more

Beverly Hills Housewife Helps Her Underaged Daughter Take Her Top Off for Photos

My dad never showed up to my Little League games. I always thought it was because he was too busy and he didn't love me. But he confessed to me that he didn't show up because I sucked and he was embarrassed. That was a relief. Every parent is somewhere on the supportive... read more

Amanda Bynes Gets Kicked Off A Plane

Human trainwreck Amanda Bynes was kicked off of a private jet this week because her license is suspended. Turns out TSA won't let you fly without a valid ID. Fuck, Who knew? When the pilot demanded her license, Amanda Bynes told him to Google 'Amanda Bynes'. Because I... read more