Hey There, Olivia Wilde’s Side Boob

By Travis September 03, 2013 @ 9:00 AM

Olivia Wilde and a friend were out for a little fun in London last night after the Rush premiere, and as they returned to the hotel, Olivia’s breast was practically hanging out of her jacket. Some people may have been offended by this kind of lewd fashion choice, but I say bravo, Miss Wilde. In the past several months, one outlet named Miley Cyrus the hottest woman on the planet while others have called Kristen Stewart the best dressed female celebrity. But I think that Olivia has made it pretty damn clear that those people are high on meth.

(Photo Credits: WENN.com)

Porn Across America

By Lex September 03, 2013 @ 8:43 AM

Nobody knows you better than your porn provider. Facebook and the NSA are a close second, but your ATM content source knows you better than the woman who bore you. The video clip masters at Pornhub out of Canada by way of a small independent former Soviet state for tax and legal reasons, decided to show America what they’re jerking off too the most, state by state, in terms of most common search term. So we discover crackers in the South like whacking it to the ladies of color, people in Kentucky are into Japanese cartoon porn, and a lot of dudes are into seeing dude juice. This map won’t really be interesting until they drill down to the micro level. What every guy in America is searching for on Pornhub. Then everybody should have to wear their search term on a t-shirt in public one day so we can all see what everybody else is digging to porn wise. It’ll be awkward, but worth it to expose the quiet polite guy at the office whose t-shirt reads ‘Ring Worm’ or ‘Hot Wheels Camaros’.

Hayden Panettiere In A Bikini

By Lex September 02, 2013 @ 5:02 PM

Now this is Labor Day. Sure, the American labor movement has been crushed into near oblivion. Maybe everything we own is now made in a country overseas that changes its name every ten years to try and make people forget that Gary Glitter violated its children. And maybe the blue collar American middle class worker is now but a Happy Days dream of the past. But we’ve still got the finest tits in the world. Even our short girls have enormous jugs. Sure, the parts were made in those same foreign countries. But we imported them, cleared those bags through customs, and stuffed them in our ladies’ racks. We also almost sort of invented the bikini. America, fuck yeah.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet, INFphoto.com, PCN

Kourtney Kardashian Earns While the Family Reels

By Lex September 02, 2013 @ 2:21 PM

Kourtney Kardashian Shows Off Her Cleavage As She Hosts An Event At The Bellagio In Las Vegas
The cash money Kardashian show stops for nobody, so even with Khloe threatening to eat French Dip sandwiches until she dies, and Kris Jenner sucking slowly on a Botox needle and lamenting the loss of her TV show, the other moneymakers in the clan went about on about their business. Kourtney hit the Vegas strip to show off her tits for money at the Bellagio. First and foremost, you support the family with your earn. There’s always a gay BFF or Bruce if you need a non-revenue producing shoulder to cry on.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet, INFphoto.com

Lady Gaga In A White See-Through Body Suit In London

By Lex September 02, 2013 @ 1:59 PM

Lady Gaga Steps Out In A White See Through Body Suit In London

Lady Gaga paraded around London over the weekend in over ten different idiotic costumes ranging from a Mickey Mouse head to a pig nose in an effort to remind the people of London that she’s a cheap stunt visual artist as well as an overblown musical one. She wound up her weekend going out in a Mary Lou Retton prostitute see-through leotard because showing off her tits gets most everybody to shut the fuck up. Gaga’s in London to perform at the big iTunes concert series there. It’s free to get in, but in a week you’ll get a bill for $1.49 for every shitty Lady Gaga, Justin Timberlake, or Elton John song you sat through.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet, PCN

Khloe Kardashian Is Not Made of Steel

By Lex September 02, 2013 @ 1:23 PM

Khloe Kardashian Steps Out In Oversized Sweatshirt Amid Separation Rumors In Los Angeles
Even as her mom leaks like a cheaply made adult diaper to TMZ about Lamar Odom being a crack binging whore monger, sensitive daughter Khloe continues her social media therapy.

Obviously, if Khloe were made of steel, she would weigh in at 87,000 lbs. and Kris Jenner would have already sold her in the commodity pits to a Japanese ironworks conglomerate. Also, they’d have to build stronger seats at the Hometown Buffet. For his part, out of control crack addict Lamar Odom was spotted this weekend at a vegan restaurant and renting movies at Blockbuster, you know, like a total drug addict.

Here’s Khloe in crisis head to the gym in an oversized sweatshirt. Which begs the question, what size must a sweatshirt be to be oversized on Khloe?

Photo Credit: FameFlynet, WENN

Jessica Alba In A Bikini

By Lex September 02, 2013 @ 12:43 PM

Jessica Alba In A Purple Bikini On The Beach In Malibu
It’s got to be good to be Jessica Alba. You can wear stupid looking shit to the beach and everybody just thinks you look amazing regardless. Which you do, because you’re Jessica Alba. And if the beach party you’re invited to is a total bore, you can always go back to your car and rub Jessica Alba’s twat for a couple minutes or three hours. That’s a huge advantage.

Here’s Jessica in Malibu on Sunday. She wore the obligatory Hollywood celebrity beach hat so paparazzi could find her in a crowd and she could complain about not getting any privacy.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet, PCN, WENN

Miley Cyrus Is Blacker Than You

By Lex September 02, 2013 @ 12:35 PM

Miley Cyrus Wears A Crop Top As She Sticks Her Toungue Out In Tuloca Lake
There’s a whole bunch of outrage in the black community over Miley Cyrus carrying herself like an official representative of the urban music scene and asking songwriters to give her shit to sing that sounds black. The outrage actually seems to be mostly from a bunch of white people who like to get up in arms on behalf of the black community because that makes them feel like they’re enlightened.

“Which brings us back to Miley Cyrus’ VMA performance – a perfect illustration of just how the celebrity world appropriates black culture and female liberation”. — Hadley Freeman, writing op-ed in The Guardian.

Hadley managed to nail two civil rights buttons in one sentence, so I think she wins a college degree from Vassar or something. Mostly I suspect every race, creed, and color has more important things to do than worrying about Miley Cyrus thumping her ass and wearing her sweat pants too low. Yeah, I’m sure it sucks when some retard with her tongue hanging out Maxim’s hottest woman in the world starts borrowing your shit to turn a buck, but Miley’s fans are the same ones buying up Kanye albums in enough numbers that he got to make a baby in Kim Kardashian. It’s a convoluted balancing of the scales. I’ll explain it in more detail in my lengthy forthcoming essay: I’m White and I Feel Bad About Shit So I’m Better Than You.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI