Kim Kardashian's Breasts Went Shopping Again

Because she doesn't seem to do much of anything else, Kim Kardashian went shopping in Beverly Hills yesterday with a friend, and that friend could have been named Hitler Stalin Satan Babyfucker III and nobody would have noticed because Kim also managed to cram her giant... read more

Johnny Galecki Has Done Well For Himself

For the poor chump celebrities who can't even afford a trip to St. Barts, there's Los Cabos, which seems to be the runner-up destination in this year's incredibly rich people vacation week. Actor Johnny Galecki, who plays the least obnoxious nerd on The Big Bang Theory,... read more

Whatcha Got Down There, Victoria Silvstedt?

As if there weren't enough people on vacation in St. Barts this week, former Playboy Playmate and professional working girl Victoria Silvstedt is also there, reaching out to some new… friends. When she wasn't making sure her vagina was still sparkling and rose-scented,... read more

Madonna's Baby Boy Likes Him Some Gin

Madonna posted a New Year's picture of her 13-year old hoisting a bottle of gin with the caption: The party has just begun! Bring it 2014! Now she's being judged. She wants you to stop judging her as a mom. Also, stop judging 55-year olds who say 'bring it'. Stop judging... read more

Kesha Fat Shamed Into Rehab

The term fat shaming amuses me to to end. When I was a chubby kid in grade school the P.E. teacher made me run laps while ordering the other boys to pelt me with dodgeballs as the teacher himself hurled humiliating insults. We didn't call it fat shaming back then. We... read more

Britney Spears Called Creepy and Cold by Her Own Superfans

I guess some people really really like Britney Spears. The ones who signed up for the $2500 Meet and Greet Britney package at Planet Hollywood. Now, they're all disappointed and sad because their two and a half g's earned them precisely three seconds with Britney who... read more

Kylie Jenner Has More Stress Than Hair

Kylie Jenner likes to keep her millions of young women and pederastic older male audience on social media abreast of the important developments in her life. This would includes clothes, hair, and tough subjects she might have had in school had she not dropped out after... read more

Lena Dunham Twitter Duels With Shia LaBeouf

In a battle of who you'd like to throw out of a moving vehicle more, Lena Dunham and Shia LaBeouf took to Twitter to have a bitchy slap fight. You'll recall that Shia fake apologized to comic book writer Daniel Clowes for blatantly plagiarizing one of his stories by ... read more

Emily Ratajkowski Has Terry Richardson Stickers On Her Nips

I'd like to get to a place in my life where models with big yabbos are putting stickers of my face on their nips. It seems like a strong position. Over New Year's a weight challenged girl on Molly let me sign her left ass cheek with a felt tip. I'm getting close. Photo... read more

Charlie Sheen May Be Married, Again

Charlie Sheen claims that he married his porn star girlfriend Brett Rossi but he may be lying. It all started when the former star of Hot Shots: Part Deux and that shitty Two and A Half Men show Tweeted a photo of him and Rossi visiting a famous mansion in Reykjavik,... read more

Sean Penn Banged Charlize Theron Then Made Her Get Him a Coffee

I don't know what voodoo power resides in the Penn penis but it's fucking disturbing. It's some black sorcery that the NSA ought to investigate rather than listening to me talk dirty to a woman who I secretly worry is really a man. We can't let Al Qaeda get their hands... read more

Candice Swanepoel Models Lingerie For January 2014 Victoria's Secret

Photo Credit: Victoria's Secret [gallery ids="1710962,1710972,1710982,1710992,1711002,1711012,1711022,1711032,1711042,1711052,1711062,1711072,1711082,1711092,1711102,1711112,1711122"] read more

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