Madonnas ‘MDNA’ sets record for largest drop in chart history

By brendon April 09, 2012 @ 7:58 PM

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Last week Madonna used a secret weapon to push her new album all the way to number 1 on the Billboard 200. Meaning she gave it away for free to everyone who bought tickets to her tour and for some reason Billboard counted that.

She couldn’t do it again this week though, and so now she’s set the all-time record for the biggest second week drop in chart history. Forbes.com says…

When all the numbers are in on Tuesday night, “MDNA” will have fallen from number 1 by 88% … from 359,000 copies in its first week to roughly 46,000 the second week.

I still don’t get how getting a free Madonna CD is some kind of enticement to buying a Madonna concert ticket. That would be like catching an STD from your rapist. It’s two awful things instead of just one. The only thing worse than going to a concert with the Cool Mom who thinks she can hang out with her teenage daughter is if the Cool Mom is the one actually on stage.

Mark Wahlbergs wife is disapointing

By brendon April 09, 2012 @ 6:07 PM

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Mark Wahlberg spent Easter Sunday on Miami Beach with his son and his wife, who has a super wide base and no tits and when she brings her hands up like in the headline picture looks like a T Rex. Paleontologists must be so hard right now.

(I really really don’t like posting negative stuff about people who aren’t celebrities, especially someones wife, but mark wahlberg is a little dick so fuck him. image source = fame/flynet)

Anne Hathaway cut all her hair off

By brendon April 09, 2012 @ 5:18 PM

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The first thing Anne Hathaway did after cutting her hair real short was go to a club in London called ‘The Box’. It was the two least satisfying ways possible for her to make people wonder if she’s a lesbian now.

(image source = splash, fame/flynet)

Lindsay is totally innocent of these new charges, you guys

By brendon April 09, 2012 @ 3:16 PM

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A woman has filed a battery compliant with the West Hollywood Sheriffs department saying she was talking to a guy in a bar last Thursday when Lindsay Lohan punched her in the back, shoved her, and told her to leave. But it turns out this girl is yet another crazy person who says horrible things about Lindsay Lohan for no reason whatsoever.

The Daily News says:

Lohan is adamantly denying (these) charges, saying she wasn’t even out on the town that night.
Instead, she says, she was at home watching TV that evening.
Lohan’s spokesman Steve Honig: “Lindsay was absolutely not involved in any sort of altercation whatsoever. This is clearly another case of someone looking for money and 15 minutes of fame.”

Yeah that makes perfect sense. The girl made it all up to sue someone with no money. Here’s how the thought process works:

- I’m in a popular and crowded bar.
- I decide to say I was assaulted by a very famous celebrity, even though that very famous celebrity is not here, and could be on the moon for all I know.
- I file a false report, punishable by up to a year in jail and a $1,000 fine.
- The sheriffs department will attempt to verify my story, but soon discover they can’t find even one person to confirm that the very famous celebrity was in the bar at the time.
- Success!
- I sit back and start countin my money.

It really is an airtight plan. I just hope this criminal mastermind doesn’t turn her evil super-brain against me. I’ll be ruined!

(oh and by the way, Lindsay did go out Wednesday night until at least 2am. Another way of saying that is that she was out on Thursday.)

Brooklyn Decker seemed upset

By brendon April 09, 2012 @ 12:14 PM

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Brooklyn Decker looked annoyed when she noticed people staring and taking pictures of her while she laid out by her hotels pool in Sydney this weekend, but that’s the downside of being famous. She should try taking her top off and covering her face with it. That way no one would recognize her. You’re welcome, Brooklyn!

(image source = inf, splash)

Amanda Bynes hit a cop car, got a DUI

By brendon April 06, 2012 @ 4:54 PM

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You shouldn’t drive if you’ve been drinking, but if you do, you need to be extra careful and you can’t look suspicious and you definitely need to avoid the police. You shouldn’t drive into the back of a squad car at 3am, for example. Amanda Bynes apparently didn’t know any of this.

The LA Times says:

Amanda Bynes was arrested early Friday morning on suspicion of DUI in West Hollywood after she allegedly hit the rear corner of a sheriff’s cruiser while trying to pass it.
(She) was in custody at the West Hollywood Sheriff’s Station before being released around 10:30 a.m. on $5,000 bail.

On the plus side, she was wearing a really short skirt and looked kinda hot when she left jail this morning. 3 years of probation is a small price to pay for sexy paparazzi pictures.

(image source = splash, fame/flynet, inf)

Jennifer Love Hewitt looks sorta better. From there.

By brendon April 05, 2012 @ 8:22 PM

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Jennifer Love Hewitt was in West Hollywood last night for the premiere of her Lifetime movie ‘The Client List’, and she might have looked okay if not for the fake eyelashes that should only be worn with a Malcolm McDowell ‘Clockwork Orange’ Halloween costume. You could honestly make a better set of fake eyelashes out of wood. It’s almost like someone drew these on later to make fun of her.

(image source = getty, wenn)

Kim Kardashian and Kanye might be dating. Again.

By brendon April 05, 2012 @ 5:58 PM

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Back in December of 2010, there was a rumor that Kanye West and Kim Kardashian had been secretly dating and that he had even gotten her pregnant, though it was said that Kim wanted a relationship but Kanye didn’t. Nothing ever came of it (perhaps because December 2010 is also when Kim met Kris Humphries for the first time and they were engaged 5 months later), but Kanye released a song yesterday called “Theraflu” and the lyrics definitely give you the impression that he was at least fucking her. On account of her being a slut and everything.

“And I’ll admit, I had fell in love with Kim.
Around the time she had fell in love with him.
Well that’s cool, baby girl, do your thing.
Lucky I ain’t had Jay drop him from the team. (*)”

And just to make sure they got all the attention they so desperately crave, Kim and Kanye went to a movie last night and to FAO Schwarz today. And I can’t help but notice that the paparazzi agencies all have pictures of them inside the toy store, even though It’s illegal for paparazzi to go on private property. Which means they had a personal photographer and then sold the pictures themselves.

These two really are made for each other. Not only is he black and rich but he has a dumb name that starts with K too. She’s everything she could ever hope for.

(*) “Jay” of course is Jay-Z, part owner of the New Jersey Nets, the team Humphries pays for. image source = pacific coast