the Star Trek villian is… John Harrison?

By brendon December 10, 2012 @ 7:25 PM

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Up until today, most people have assumed that (the great) Benedict Cumberbatch was playing either Kahn or Gary Mitchell in ‘Star Trek: Into Darkness’. That was before Paramount released this picture labeling Zachary Quinto as Spock, Chris Pine as Kirk, and Benedict Cumberbatch as… John Harrison. This guy:

“In ‘Space Seed,’ Harrison was nearly suffocated to death on the Enterprise bridge by unfrozen superman Khan.”

You know I am paying to see this movie, right? I’d kinda like to something about it. Do I even get a real Star Trek ticket when I buy one or would that ruin the surprise? Is there a theater behind the door I’m sent to or does it just lock me out in the alley?

Lindsay can’t pay her rent

By brendon December 10, 2012 @ 5:58 PM

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Remember earlier this year, when Lindsay Lohan rented an astoundingly expensive house in Beverly Hills, even though it was pretty obvious to the entire world that she’d never be able to pay that rent?

Well she can’t pay the rent.

We’re told Lindsay signed the lease on the home back in February … when her career was on the upswing and the money seemed to be rolling in.
But according to our sources, when Lindsay’s finances took a turn for the worse, Lindsay began doing whatever she could to make rent each month, often hitting up friends for money. 

“Ok Lindsay, so you want to borrow 10 grand, and you have no means of paying it back, and you’ll avoid me and lie for the next six months, and when you go to the bathroom in a minute you’ll steal one of my watches and then tell the cops I’m a crazy liar? Well that sounds good, I accept your terms, we have a deal.”

Tom Cruises ‘Oblivion’ has its first trailer

By brendon December 10, 2012 @ 4:24 PM

‘Oblivion’ is set on earth 60 years after a cataclysmic attack, and if we had Wall-E technology it was destroyed because now Tom Cruise has to do that job. He and some girl are all that’s left, and she warns Tom Cruise not to take any chances. He immediately takes some dangerous chances, and some wolf thing tricks him and handcuffs him to a chair. Ahh, or was it Morgan Freeman, who I guess just sat in the dark waiting for Cruise to wake up so he could dramatically light his cigar?

NOTE: it was more than likely Freeman and all those people who weren’t supposed to be there.

Miley Cyrus did a live Creampie show

By brendon December 10, 2012 @ 2:30 PM

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Despite being at least 10 pounds too fat for it, Miley Cyrus wore whatever the hell this is over the weekend in Hollywood at the Borgore’s ‘Christmas Creampies’ concert. So if you arrived after running a search for “miley cyrus creampie”, that’s why. I don’t know what the hell you had planned, but this is as good as it’s gonna get.

(image source = getty)

Demi Moore got dumped again

By brendon December 10, 2012 @ 12:44 PM

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If you thought that the relationship between Demi Moore, who is 50, and Vito Schnabel, who is 26, was doomed to fail, it turns out you were right. So congratulations, you’re a monster who judges people based solely on appearance, but at least you’re good at it.

Lindsay is selling her old clothes for cash now

By brendon December 07, 2012 @ 6:09 PM

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Or more accurately, Ali Lohan is selling Lindsays old clothes for cash now, because the IRS seized Lindsays bank accounts, and she’s too uppity to do it herself.

Radar Online reported Friday that Lindsay Lohan sent sister Ali to Wasteland, a used clothing store in Los Angeles with a collection of designer clothing.
But despite the magnificence of Lindsay’s castoffs, Ali wasn’t able to realize much on the deal.
“Thirty dollars for these? They cost $700!” Ali said.
But the management didn’t budge, and Ali ultimately left the store not much richer than went she went in.

Yeah but keep in mind that Lindsay probably stole most of that stuff anyway, so it’s still free money as far as she’s concerned.

Claudia Galanti is photogenic

By brendon December 07, 2012 @ 5:37 PM

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The photo agency for these said, “Paraguayan model Claudia Galanti shows off her hot bikini body on the beach in Miami”, and I don’t know where Paraguayan is, but her ass is amazing, so I assume it’s what the bible calls the really nice areas in Heaven.

(image source = fame/flynet)

Christina Aguilera: “The less clothing, the better.”

By brendon December 07, 2012 @ 4:07 PM

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You don’t actually see the person singing on ‘the Voice’, but despite judging the show for 3 seasons Christina Aguilera won’t take the hint and is even naked on the cover of her album ‘Lotus’. Or at least the drawing of her is because that looks absolutely nothing like Christian Aguilera.

Either way, today on the Ellen DeGeneres show, Ellen asked why it was naked.

“I like to be free,” Aguilera explained. “Sometimes, the less clothing, the better! I’m just comfortable in my skin and my body.”

Beanbags and snuggies are comfortable too Christina Aguilera, that doesn’t mean you should look like one when you’re naked.