Katy Perry Is Single Yet Again

By Travis March 20, 2013 @ 10:00 AM

For all the shit that people give Taylor Swift about her flavors of the week and corresponding songs, Katy Perry isn’t much better off. We just don’t give her as much hell since she has huge breasts and doesn’t sing mopey pop farts about the guys with tiny peckers that couldn’t please her. That’s not saying her music is much better, mind you. But at least she’s willing to toss a pair of whipped cream cans over her tits and let us pretend she’s a porn star.

Anyway, Katy and her breasts are single again.

It’s all over but the singing – once again – for Katy Perry and John Mayer.

The couple, who had been dating for the past seven months in what was their second chance at love, have again parted ways, a source confirms to PEOPLE.

The split comes less than a month after Perry, 28, was spotted wearing a ruby from Mayer, 35. (People)

Oh my, a ruby ring? That’s so beautiful. The ruby, of course, is a precious gemstone that men have long gifted to their lovers as a way of saying, “Sorry I gave you crabs.” In that case, Russell Brand better have bought her an entire ruby mine.

As for John Mayer, he continues to be living proof that knowing how to play the guitar and looking like you rarely shower will always get you laid, as long as there are girls in L.A. with low self-esteems. And that’s not meant to knock Mayer, because he’s basically a hero.

(Photo Credits: Getty)

A Hacker Deleted All Of Soulja Boy’s YouTube Videos

By Travis March 20, 2013 @ 9:00 AM

Last week, it was revealed that a Russian hacker had posted the social security numbers, addresses, credit reports and other important information for a number of stars and political figures, from Kim Kardashian to Michelle Obama. And that news was pretty boring, because unless you planned to open a credit card in Hillary Clinton’s name, there was nothing valuable achieved from that hack.

On Monday, though, some hackers put their powers to good use, as they broke into all of rapper Soulja Boy’s social media accounts and deleted all of his videos from his YouTube channel. If only it had been permanent, what a perfect world this would be.

The ‘Crank That (Soulja Boy)’ hitmaker, real name DeAndre Way, was shocked to discover all of his music videos from YouTube.com had been deleted, while assailants had also compromised the security of his Facebook, Twitter and Instagram blogs too.

After changing the password for his Twitter page, he reached out to fans online to ask for help in rectifying the internet issue.

He tweeted, “This is only going to make me go harder, they deleted all my YouTube videos that’s some real hater s**t right there”. (3 News)

Yeah, deleting your YouTube videos, that’s so horrible. Tupac and Biggie were gunned down in the primes of their careers, but that’s nothing compared to someone erasing “Crank Dat (Soulja Boy)”for 20 minutes. Oh, how the zero people who still listen to that song must have suffered.

Kim Cloutier Is Canadian, But Still Really Good Looking

By Lex March 19, 2013 @ 3:40 PM

In reality, there seem to be an inordinate number of attractive women who hail from Canada. Hail from. As in, they all seem to have left, which may be why there seem to be such an inordinate number. In the Lower 48, we just meet the chicks of the Great White North whose Eskimo ancestors spoke to them through the magical fish and told them to head South because they’re too damn good looking to be stuck in Canada. Like Kim Cloutier. Who’s from Montreal. Which is the annoying part of Canada, but Canada nonetheless. But they do have poutine. Which may be the single best stoner food ever invented. So I’m told. By people who consume the marijuana.

Check out Kim Cloutier in her new bikini modeling pictures. And be nice to Canadians. They’re just like us, but with mustaches.

Lil Wayne Is Out Of The Hospital. He’ll Be Back Soon.

By Jack March 19, 2013 @ 3:07 PM

Lil Wayne was released from the hospital today after 6 days in intensive care…or not, no one really knows. The rap star was rumored to be dying and supposedly had the last rites recited over his tiny little body. Rumor has it that he was having seizures because he drank too much sizzurp, which is codeine cough syrup, fruit soda, and a Jolly Rancher. Besides contemplating how much of that shit he must have drunk to be hospitalized for 6 days, who honestly gives a shit? Think about it. Back in the day no one gave a crap if some douche who couldn’t handle his narcotics/booze had to sleep it off for a few days in the drunk tank. Why do we make such a big deal about Lil Wayne’s cough syrup bender?

Would we even care if it was cocaine or heroin? We hear about celebs going into rehab for that shit all the time. What’s so shocking about sizzurp abuse? It’s something a lot of people have done. Hell, I used to pretend to have a cough when I was young so I could drink Dimetapp because that shit is delicious. Also, I have news for you, things will not end well for Lil Wayne. Face tattoos are like a billboard that reads, “I will die young and horribly”. It’s hard to say if he’ll be shot like Tupac or OD like Ol’ Dirty Bastard. My money is on a little of both.

Nina Agdal Was Born to Model Lingerie

By Bill March 19, 2013 @ 2:13 PM

It’s easy to imagine that hot girls from distant lands must come from a race of super fine looking people. But I’ve been to Denmark. Meh, it’s like most places. Nina Agdal was still the hottest girl in her high school by a good measure. And if you’re the hottest girl in your village anywhere in the world, you owe it to the world to become a model or exhibitionist of some sort. Just like the brainy kid who has the cure for cancer in his head has to attend medical school or a guy who’s 6’9″ and coordinated has to play basketball. If you’re super good looking, you have to share. And if you follow your God-given path, you will be rewarded with cash and fey male model boyfriends and all the cocaine you can consume in your London and New York lofts.

Check out Nina Agdal in her new photos for Aerie Lingerie. Aerie Lingerie just sounds hot. And looks even better.

These Bitches Be Getting Crazier

By Jack March 19, 2013 @ 1:31 PM

Every day I scour the interweb news looking for celebrity assholes acting stupid so that I can mock them and make myself feel more virile in the process. It seems that every week a big part of these stories aren’t nip slips or bad career decisions but young coked out stars acting dog shit crazy. It’s such a common occurrence that we don’t even bat our cynical eyelashes at it anymore. Remember way back when Superman’s Margot Kidder acted like a nutbag in an alley or when the entire cast of Diff’rent Strokes imploded? It was shocking because it didn’t happen that often. Now we hear that Lindsey Lohan raped a couch or that Amanda Bynes ran over a hobo and it doesn’t surprise us. Where do these bitches get off being crazy?

Look, I know they got famous at a young age and that that has got to be hard. Teenagers are assholes normally but if you are bringing in millions you probably become an insufferable shitweasel. I know money doesn’t buy you happiness, but it can sure as fuck rent it. Think about what most worries you in your daily life and it probably has to do with money. How am I going to make the rent? Credit card debt sucks all my money away. These loons are not only rich, they have achieved the dream that every actor works their asses off to achieve. 90% of the time when you go to a restaurant in LA you are being waited on by someone that would remove their own genitals with a rusty scabbard to achieve a fraction of their success. Only the rich can afford to be truly crazy. The rest of us have to settle for being quirky and annoying.

Jennifer Love Hewitt Flashes Her Blue Panties

By Bill March 19, 2013 @ 1:16 PM

My greatest dream in life, even bigger than the one where I’m giant size and I step on all the now-grown kids who used to laugh at me for being such a retarded skateboarder, bigger than that, is having Jennifer Love Hewitt jump into my arms tits first with her blue panties riding up her backside because she’s squeezing so hard. Yes, it’s a specific dream. And some other bastard got to live it on the set of The Client List. He’s her new boyfriend, and plays her husband on the show. Which is so damn cliche. Almost as cliche as my dream. Not the stomping one. The boobs in the face and blue panties one.

Photo credit: FameFlynet / WENN

Tiger Woods Super G’ing Olympic Ski Champ Lindsey Vonn

By Wyatt March 19, 2013 @ 12:20 PM

Tiger Woods, a golfer people stopped caring about a long time ago following his sex scandal, is dating Olympic champion Lindsey Vonn, an alpine skier I’m not sure anybody ever cared about except for one week in the winter of 2010. But now Vonn just made the couple’s relationship Facebook official, and probably wears his championship golf jackets when they have sex.

I guess it wasn’t a well-kept secret but yes, I am dating Tiger Woods. Our relationship evolved from a friendship into something more over these past few months and it has made me very happy. I don’t plan on addressing this further as I would like to keep that part of my life between us, my family and close friends. Thank you for understanding and your continued support!

Continued support?  I didn’t know we were supporting this in the first place. I’m sure people can change and all that bullshit, but Woods had sex with 120 different women while he was married to a way hotter woman than this. You do the math. The math says double that number, half anal. That’s a lot of ass.

UPDATE: One of the porn stars Tiger used to cheat on Elin with says Tiger probably already cheating on Lindsey Vonn.

Photo credit: WENN