Ryan Gosling Sucks at Something

December 31, 2014 | Uncategorized | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Ryan Gosling’s directorial debut Lost River was panned so profoundly by the self-important cinephiles at Cannes that it’s not going to ever see the theaters. Gosling wrote the script too, so you’d got the key grip and the assistant gaffer lefts... READ MORE

Schwarzenegger’s Kid Promotes His Biz Well

December 31, 2014 | Uncategorized | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Patrick Schwarzenegger has been pounding Miley Cyrus for a while pro bono. At this point it makes sense to strap a billboard on her. Schwarz’s goblin headed mom has invested in an up and coming pizza chain called Blaze. This... READ MORE

Hilaria Baldwin Is Game For Something

December 31, 2014 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Alec Baldwin’s pretend Spanish daughter wife is kooky. So much so she posts photos of herself doing yoga around the house. She’s not aloof enough not to know exactly what we’re all thinking. Your bikini is mismatched. Let me fix... READ MORE

Ellen’s Comedy Gold Fucks with the NYPD (VIDEO)

December 31, 2014 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Here’s a pop quiz. Is now a good time to be fucking with the the NYPD? Your answer really depends on how much you look forward to peering down on the protest march in your honor from heaven. Alexander Bok is a dude... READ MORE

Chris Rock About to Be Raked

December 31, 2014 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

I’d wondered why I heard Chris Rock talk about how much he loves his kids while promoting a movie I won’t see on public radio stations I won’t listen to. Turns out he’s working some spin. Rock has a wife who not... READ MORE

Lindsay Lohan Mosquito Threatens Polynesia

December 31, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Lindsay Lohan notified the world she’s playing through the chikungunya virus she contracted on her current vacation to French Polynesia. Chikungunya is a poor man’s malaria, or a really lucky man’s Ebola, contracted through tropical mosquito bites. Lindsay’s going to... READ MORE

Sofia Vergara Gets Engaged And Shit Around The Web

December 31, 2014 | crap around the web | editor| 0 Comments

Latina tit monster Sofia Vergara got engaged over the holiday to the werewolf bohunk from True Blood, Joe Manganiello. Not to sound bi-curuous unsure, but both of these people are ridiculously hot. I look forward to their sex tape.... READ MORE

Lauren Stoner in a Bikini

December 30, 2014 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

If I black out Michael Bay humping her while gloating about fucking over the Turtles origin story, I really do like this chick. She reminds me of every girl who ever told me to bugger off through a set... READ MORE

Kaley Cuoco Had Some Work Done

December 30, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Kaley Cuoco is outraged that people think she got a nose job after she posted tons of photos of herself bandaged up after having surgery on her nose. I hate when that happens. All you want is for the... READ MORE