Kim Kardashian In a Body Condom in Australia

November 18, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Soft-brained people on all continents are buying up hundreds of millions of dollar worth of celebrity perfume. I’ve never in my entire life wanted to smell like anybody else. I’ve occasionally witnessed adult content where I’ve thought packing a dick the size of a viking broad sword might be kind of groovy, but I never […]

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Stephen A. Smith Is Stepping Off

November 18, 2014 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Last season’s NBA Rookie of the Year Michael Carter Williams wrote a post for The Player’s Tribune, a website started by Derek Jeter so athletes can promote themselves and discuss over the counter herpes breakout medication options. Williams took offense with Stephen A Smith, just like everyone else who has ever heard Stephen A. Smith. […]

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Kendall Jenner Needs Quiet

November 18, 2014 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Kendall Jenner went on Nightline because that program sucks now and your vote doesn’t count. She explained how she told her sister Kim Kardashian not to attend her fashion shows because it was a distraction from her artistic expression of showing some aureola in an overpriced fashion label tragedy marketed to dumb losers and alimony […]

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Tila Tequila Reproduces

November 18, 2014 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Turns out, Tila Tequila is still alive. She’s also reproducing. She posted on her blog that she gave birth to a baby girl, which really irritated the general public who by and large assumed she was either dead in a Gainesville motel or well on her way to being dead in a Gainesville motel. Vexing to […]

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Dwight Howard Belts His Kid

November 18, 2014 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Dwight Howard was cleared of child abuse allegations in Florida where it remains nearly impossible to convict anybody of anything. Howard admitted to hitting his kid with a belt because that’s how he grew up and everyone knows however you grew up is veritable stamp of approval. Authorities determined there wasn’t enough evidence to bother taking […]

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Whores Remain Unethical

November 18, 2014 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Former NBA player Joe Smith is pissed his reality show girlfriend is not being prosecuted for stealing his money. Law enforcement just got together and agreed dipshits who date chicks on VH-1 deserve what they get. Just be grateful she didn’t shiv your balls off while you were sleeping. Moniece Slaughter, whose dad lost a […]

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Victoria Silvstedt in a Bikini

November 18, 2014 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Victoria Silvstedt has been missing from public view since her immersion in a stasis tank filled with hep-c blockers and finely shredded paper currencies from the G8 nations. The murky colloid allows her skin to be rejuvenated and her lips and breasts to be re-inflated to specs customized from survey responses of wealthy benefactors around […]

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