Who Wouldn't Want Tremendous Amounts of Sex? (VIDEO)

This only confirms my forever suspicion that hockey players get more tail than any other people on the planet. Local sports reporter Susannah Collins was probably flustered from having sex with three Blackhawks players just before her on-air word slip. Sometimes, a cigar... read more

Beyonce Dabs with Red Toilet Paper

Beyonce is going on a world tour. Apparently, there are teenaged girls and gay men in places outside the U.S.. But she's not going without a list of demands, as evidenced in her tour contract rider, that little addendum that provides all of the artists customized... read more

Ground Turkey Is Full Of Shit

A Consumer Reports study of ground turkey found that over half of it is contaminated with shit. Like, poop shit. 90% of the meat also contained salmonella, Staphylococcus aureus, E. coli, enterococcus bacteria. Yum. This only applies to ground turkey and not the whole... read more

Miley Cyrus Is All Grown Up

You can't stop the kids from growing up. It seems like just yesterday I was lying about never masturbating while watching Hannah Montana. And, now, little Hannah is all grown up into a mature semi-spastic girl in leather. I need a little time to digest this. I might have... read more

Nicole Trunfio Is See-Through

I'm guessing when a girl goes out without a bra on, she gives herself a last check in the mirror to see how her tits look and if anything's showing that shouldn't be. I'm guessing this happens about 100% of the time. So when fashion model Nicole Trunfio shows up a a... read more

Ken Jeong Photobombs Kate Upton's Photo Shoot (VIDEO)

Kate Upton is an insanely gorgeous supermodel with awesome tits, she also apparently has an awesome sense of humor, and let Ken Jeong (Leslie Chow from the Hangover) follow her around videotaping himself photobombing her GQ photoshoot a couple years back. Sadly the video... read more

The Pornographic Diary Of Anne Frank

Anne Frank makes everybody stupid. including Gail Horalek,some uptight PTA bitch in Michigan whodecided that Anne's diary is too pornographic for her precious little snow flake. You'll recall from being half asleep in high school English class that Anne Frank was a... read more

Jennifer Aniston Bested by Angelina Once More

Jennifer Aniston has a million things she wants to tell you about how to stay good looking into your middle years. It mostly involves holistic medicines, Asian aromatherapies, and never letting that bitch cunt Angelina Jolie ruin your wedding day. Oh, only she did. It's... read more

Kourtney Kardashian Is Not Horrible Enough to Be Memorable

If Kendall and Kylie are the school dropout teen trollops, Kim is the centerpiece attention whore, and Khloe the frightening consumer of planets, where does that leave Kourtney? She's tried to get attention by getting knocked up by a fay snowboarder, not once, but twice.... read more

Scarlett Johansson Looks Good In Captain America 2

Captain America: The Winter Soldier is currently filming in Los Angeles, and these new set photos show Chris Evans picking on a nerdy bald guy while Scarlett Johansson stands behind him, using her super power of looking fantastic with fake red hair and leather pants.... read more

Kim Kardashian Is Charitable, I'm Not Surprised

Kim Kardashian is asking for charitable donations to a Chicago hospital's neonatal intensive car unit in the place of lavish gifts for her upcoming bastard baby. In a side agreement, Kim asked only that the hospital tattoo the name of her Glam fragrance line onto the... read more

Jason Collins' Ex Had No Clue He Was Gay

After Jason Collins came out in an interview with Sports Illustrated this week, it was only a matter of time before an ex or two came forward to play either the "I had no idea" or "I always knew something was fishy" cards. Former WNBA player Carolyn Moos is the first and... read more