By brendon October 20, 2010 @ 7:46 PM
Adriana Lima wore a $2 million bra, called the Bombshell Fantasy Bra, designed by Damiani for Victoria’s Secret, in New York today, and it seems like if they were gonna go to all this trouble, they would have picked a girl with a kick ass rack.
Lima is okay, I guess, but not really. They should have gotten a girl like the fox I like to pretend is on ‘Glee’. This girl, this perfect creation, my Venus, my sun my moon my star lit sky, has boobs that deserve to be in a 2 million dollar bra. Of course, if you’re a 34F, any bra you’re wearing is worth 2 million dollars, at least to me, as long as you’re wiling to not wear it.
(image source = wenn)
By brendon October 20, 2010 @ 6:38 PM
Lindsay Lohan has been in rehab since September 28th, all part of her little routine that she does before every court date to trick the judge into thinking she’s changed, and it has been great. Finally, we could go online and not see her stupid freckly face on every website.
That all ends Friday, when she’s due back in front of Judge Elden Fox for violating probation. But with any luck it starts again Friday too, because he’s the same hard ass who ordered her to rot in a cell until her court date, and on Friday, he could send her away for an entire year.
A source close to the actress, 24, told Radar: “Judge Fox could be inclined to sentence Lindsay on Friday up to one year in jail. The fact that he ordered Lindsay to appear, even though she is currently in rehab and not planning to fight the probation violation, has Lindsay’s legal team very, very, concerned.”
“Even though Judge Fox has previously said that any dirty drug test would result in an automatic 30 days behind bars, he could go above and beyond that and simply terminate her probation. If he does that, he can sentence Lindsay to up to one year in jail. She would get credit for time served from her stint at Lynwood earlier this year and would probably do four to five months in jail.”
“Judge Fox is fair, but if there is an inclination that someone has violated his orders, he doesn’t have any patience for that.”
What a utopia this world would be if Lindsay was sent away for an entire year. It won’t happen of course, but what about that thing where they wheel criminals through town in a cage on a cart and we get to throw tomatoes at them. Do they still do that? And do they screen the tomatoes to see if you’ve hidden anything inside of them, or simply painted some rocks red? Is a battery a type of tomato? What about an arrow? If yes, how fast am I allowed to “throw” the arrow shaped “tomato”?
By brendon October 20, 2010 @ 5:46 PM
About 5 months ago, Miranda Kerr looked in the mirror ago and thought, “gosh, instead of looking really hot, wouldn’t it be great to look like complete hell. And to have some parasite living inside me and feeding off me, like in that movie Alien.” And so she got pregnant.
Luckily, before doing that, she took off all her clothes and walked around a beach and let someone take pictures of it. So you can either be a little girl and go read a book like some fag, or you can click RIGHT HERE, and begin an erotic journey to an oasis of carnal delights.
Read more >
By brendon October 20, 2010 @ 4:39 PM
Lea Michele, Dianna Agron and some dude whose name I didn’t bother to learn from ‘Glee’ are on the cover of the GQ in a sexy new photo shoot, and since people love complaining about anything good, people are complaining about this. Specifically they say that, because ‘Glee’ takes place in a high school, these pictures are practically child pornography.
The Parents Television Council denounced the makers of the TV show “Glee” for a hyper-sexualized GQ photo shoot that will be featured in the November issue.
“It is disturbing that GQ, which is explicitly written for adult men, is sexualizing the actresses who play high school-aged characters on ‘Glee’ in this way. It borders on pedophilia. Sadly, this is just the latest example of the overt sexualization of young girls in entertainment.”
Lea and Dianna are both 24, and the guy (identity unknown) is 28, so it might be an exaggeration to say this “borders on pedophilia.” If the producers were some kind of perverts, I would have seen them at our meetings.
Besides, these pictures aren’t even that sexual. That’s why I did a real quick photoshop of the cover and erased that dork in the middle. Now it’s sort of like Lea and Dianna are about to kiss or something. Here’s one where it looks like Lea is my secret lover and sent me a picture of her ass. After that are a bunch of pictures of what Dianna would look like if she had 34F breasts and really liked this website. ‘Glee’ kicks ass!
By brendon October 20, 2010 @ 11:54 AM
Last week on ‘Dancing with the Stars’, Brandy admitted that she hasn’t been “intimate” with a man in 6 years. Some thought that meant she hadn’t had sex in 6 years, but that isn’t what she meant at all. Oh never mind actually that sort of is what she meant.
“I haven’t been with a man seriously and in love in six years,” says Brandy, 31. “And, honestly, I tend to abstain if I’m not in a relationship.”
So has she been celibate for six years? “Um, no. But it’s been a long time. We’re talking years.”
The opportunity has certainly been there. She even confirms her interest in rapper Flo Rida. “I was very interested in him. I mean, how can you not be, he’s very attractive. But there was just something about us that didn’t click.”
Yeah because you’re a weirdo. When two people are in a relationship, they have sex. That’s it. End of story. Anything else is just weird. I didn’t think they even still made people like this. It would be like going to buy a computer, and one model was 8 feet wide and had a big rotary dial on it, and one green and one red lightbulb on top that lit up to let you know if it solved your problem yet.
By brendon October 19, 2010 @ 7:25 PM
Jennifer Lopez had a concert last night in San Juan, Puerto Rico, and apparently the only thing worse than her attitude is her thighs. She looked fine at first, but when she left the stage you could see her big fat legs jiggle up the stairs. Up close, her thighs look like old dog shit. And if you saw that in your yard you’d bring your dog to the vet, and the vet would run some tests and you’d have to buy some super special dog food.
By brendon October 19, 2010 @ 5:54 PM
Katy Perry and Russell Brand will reportedly get married this weekend in a lavish ceremony in India, but this morning Brand was out in London with a new gold band on his ring finger, causing outlets like the Sun to put on their detective caps and try to figure out why.
I truly, TRULY, do not care one way or the other, and maybe this is just my thinly veiled racism coming out, but I don’t think the US would recognize a wedding in India. I think they have to have a civil ceremony with a judge, in England and the US, to make everything legal. Maybe they already did that. So, yeah, they’re already married. There you go. It’s baseless conjecture like this that has made me such an internet sensation.
(picture source = pacific coast news)
By brendon October 19, 2010 @ 3:45 PM
Taylor Swift, who is 20, briefly dated John Mayer, who is 33, last year while collaborating on her record, and since every bad date this vindictive lunatic ever goes on gets a song about it, it’s a safe bet that the song on her new album called ‘Dear John’ is about Mayer.
The album won’t be released until Oct. 25, but Yahoo Music has the lyrics.
“Dear John/I see it all now that you’re gone/Don’t you think I was too young/To be messed with/The girl in the dress/Cried the whole way home/I should’ve known.”
“It was wrong/Don’t you think nineteen’s too young/To be played/By your dark, twisted games/When I loved you so.”
“My mother accused me of losing my mind/But I swore I was fine.”
“You’ll add my name to your long list of traitors who don’t understand/And I’ll look back in regret I ignored what they said/’Run as fast as you can’.”
Gee Taylor, maybe your dates would go better if the guy didn’t live every minute under the pressure that if he does something wrong, you’ll make him look like an asshole in front of millions of people.
Luckily, in this case, Mayer can write songs too. I think a good song would be one about a guy who worked really long hours locked in a room with this young needy slut who made it clear she was ready to give it up, so the guy was like, yeah okay why not. But she was horrible in bed and super clingy so he bailed. The song is called, “Two Can Play This Little Game, Dumb Ass”.