Miley is glad people think she’s sexy. Wait what?

By brendon May 18, 2012 @ 2:30 PM


Miley Cyrus, seen here on her hotel balcony holding a dog, and then making out with the dog, and then not holding a dog and leaning over the railing (she dropped the dog, didn’t she?) tells Lifetime (via Us) that she’s comfortable being sexy, or would be if anyone actually thought that.

Miley insists she didn’t set out to become sex symbol.
“If people find that [I am], I take it as a compliment. Thank you for thinking I’m sexy!”
When she first began to dress and act more provocatively, the former child star was surprised by the immediate backlash. “People are so scared of seeing a woman being like, ‘This is who I am and you’re not going to change it,’” Cyrus explained.

Did Miley Cyrus just refer to herself as a sexy woman? And if so was she referring to some past life because in this one she’s still a bony teenager. Was this some kind of séance show?

(image source = fame/flynet)

Conan and Letterman made fun of Leno some more

By brendon May 18, 2012 @ 12:49 PM

It’s been 20 years since Jay Leno weaseled his way into hosting the Tonight Show, taking the job from David Letterman, and 2 years since he did the exact same thing to Conan O’Brien, which is why Letterman was absolutely delighted to have Conan on his show last night for the first time in 13 years.

“I’ve known Jay a long long time,” Letterman said. “We go back to the mid 70s, back in Los Angeles at the Comedy Store. Jay was always the guy — the funniest guy — he was the guy you’d go to see. He was the guy that you wished you could be more like. He was funny. He was also, uh… a bit of a brat. So then, oh you know, when this came along, I said to myself, ‘Oh yes, this is the Jay I know.’”

“Hey, mor-more like David Fretterman and Conan O’Cryin, am I right Jay!”

- the Tonight Show writers

Hao Lei has big things in front of her

By brendon May 18, 2012 @ 12:20 PM


Chinese actress Hao Lei is in Cannes to help promote her new movie ‘Mystery’, and I’ve never heard of her until now but it turns out she’s everything I’ve been searching for. That’s just how love works, it’s full of surprises and wonder.

Image source = cannes)

Bono is not the worlds richest musician, will not make $1.5 billion today

By brendon May 18, 2012 @ 11:05 AM


In 2009, a private equity firm co-founded by Bono paid $90 million to buy 2.3 percent of Facebook, which has been valued at over $100 billion for their IPO today.

And according to TMZ and Page Six, that means Bono will become the worlds richest musician by 4pm!

…the shares are now valued at $1.5 billion.
Meanwhile, the former holder of the title of world’s richest musician — former Beatle Paul McCartney — is worth just over $1 billion.

The only problem is none of that is true. As the Telegraph points out, there are 9 other managing directors of Bono’s equity firm, plus countless investors. Bono didn’t buy 2.3 percent of Facebook, the equity firm did.

Given that he has previously had a 10 per cent stake in other (firm) investments, Bono has probably made around $150 million today, and at least doubled his wealth. Prior to this, as one fifth of U2 (profits are split between the band and manager Paul McGuinness) Bono’s estimated wealth was in the region of $158 million.

Well fuck. This is some information I’d really like to have known before I went to all the trouble of kidnapping his wife. Now everything just feels awkward.

Lindsay helped ‘Glee’ to its lowest ratings ever

By brendon May 17, 2012 @ 5:30 PM


Lindsay Lohan has decided that her comeback is going so great that she’s gone ahead and moved into a mansion in Beverly Hills, the one pictured above, with a rent of $25,000 a month. To put that into context, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie just moved into a mansion with a rent of $24,000 a month.

But Lindsay is probably right. She’s so popular money won’t be a problem anymore. Why just this week she and Perez Hilton were guest stars on ‘Glee’, and a beloved team like that surely added up to a ratings bonanza. In fact I bet this article from The Wrap will do nothing but confirm my suspicions:

“(The first hour) was down 11 percent from last week, receiving a 2.4/8, and had 6 million total viewers. The second (hour), which featured Lohan guest-starring as herself, was down 7 percent from last week, posting a 2.5/7. It attracted 6 million total viewers.”

Oh hey look at that. Two people that no one can fucking stand drove viewers away. Who could have guessed. In fact, if the weekly numbers from here are correct, it was the lowest ratings for ‘Glee’ all season.

So it’s not really clear why anyone would hire Lindsay or how she thinks she’s gonna pay for this house. Her only talent is having sex with people. “Exactly,” Lindsay says. “As you can see on this chart, Phase 1 is to collect the underpants. And then Phase 3 is profit,” she added with a confident nod.

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a little sun wouldn’t kill Christina Hendricks

By brendon May 17, 2012 @ 4:41 PM


Christina Hendricks left her hotel in New York early this morning for an appearance on ‘LIVE! With Kelly’, and she’s so incredibly pale, with such intense red hair, that to see her in natural light is almost jarring. She’s like a big-titted Ghost Rider.

(image source = pacific coast)

Sofia Vergara is ready to go. Or just forgot to button her pants.

By brendon May 17, 2012 @ 4:03 PM


Sofia Vergara walked around New York last night with her pants unbuttoned, and she hasn’t come right out and said anything but the obvious explanation is that she was masturbating and wants to have sex with me. Message received, mon amour.

(image source = inf)

John Travolta did Jeff Conaway while he slept, another masseuse while awake

By brendon May 17, 2012 @ 2:56 PM


When we last left John Travolta, he was on a bit of a cold streak, getting shot down for gay sex by two male masseuses, but as we pick up the tale today, John has adjusted his strategy by hitting on masseuses who are actually gay, or simply by blowing his friends while they sleep. Things are really heatin’ up now!

The Enquirer (via the New York Post) says:

(Travolta) shocked his “Grease” co-star Jeff Conaway when he attempted to give him oral sex while he was sleeping (back in the) 1990s at Conaway’s home, according to Conaway’s former fiancée, Vikki Lizzi.
The late Conaway allegedly said he was so dismayed to wake up and find his friend giving him oral sex that it ended his long relationship with Travolta.
Lizzi (said) Conaway made the claim in a suicide note he left after a failed bid to kill himself in 2006.

The Enquirer also spoke to a masseuse named Luis Gonzalez who claims he had sex with Travolta while working at the Ritz-Carlton in Laguna Niguel.

“He’s a great kisser,” Gonzalez told the Enquirer. “Travolta may not identify himself as a gay man, but it doesn’t dismiss the fact that he likes sex with men . . . and he’s experienced at it. I know because I had sex with him, and he loved it.”

So if you’re staying at the Ritz-Carlton in Laguna Niguel, and you plan to visit the spa, you might want to request a table where John Travolta hasn’t sucked anyone off.