Kimberley Garner Is Trying Hard to Be Famous

By Lex June 07, 2013 @ 12:55 PM

Kimberley Garner In Low Cut Top For A Photoshoot In London
Fame is an elusive bitch. Like the exact opposite of a stalker girlfriend who won’t give you back your apartment key. This one’s trying not to be found. Kimberley Garner was on a reality show in Britain but she’s trying to get her shit to the next level. It won’t be from barely dressed photo shoots. At some point, she’s going to need to merging her body with somebody higher up on the fame food chain. There should be a book on who to fuck to get famous. Not like they teach that in schools. At least, not in schools outside Los Angeles.

Photo Credit: Splash, WENN

Here’s Kimberley in a bikini shoot licking ice cream cones with her friends. She’s not without her talents.

Snooki Thinks Amanda Bynes Should Get A Reality Show

By Jack June 07, 2013 @ 12:11 PM

Twisted dwarf Snooki thinks Amanda Bynes would make a great subject for a reality show. Snooki was recently asked her thoughts on the bat shit insane former star of all of those shitty Nickelodeon shows. Snooki then made a pitch for what could be the most tragic fucking reality show since Honey Boo Boo’s mom made us all turn gay:

“I just think she’s entertaining, and I think she needs a reality show because I would watch it all the time. If she needed help, I would wish that she would get it, obviously, but she’s entertaining.”

I hate to say it, but the scabby troll has a point. That show would be must see fucking TV. Think about what absolute madness that show would be, “Next week Amanda eats a can of expired beans and steals shit from Best Buy”. I’d watch that every night. Reality shows are pointless unless real people are getting really hurt. I could see Amanda jumping from a ledge on her show. DVR would be set.

Here’s a bunch of my favorite celebrity mugshots. Favorite just because they’re celebrities, some of the mugshots actually suck.

Kate Upton Has Big Boobs

By Lex June 07, 2013 @ 11:48 AM

Kate Upton Cleavage On The Set Of The Other Woman On Hampton Beach
I don’t blame Leslie Mann for pointing at Kate Upton’s jugs and making a scene. People need to start pointing at women with big tits more often and saying aloud, ‘Hey, big tits!’. Anyone from overdeveloped high school cheerleader to busty grandma in her Vegas in the 60′s look. Point them out and let the world know you’ve seen a big set of milkers. The big topped ladies will pretend to be very sensitive and even humiliated by the gesture, but, trust me, deep down, they’ll be chest proud. Go do this now.

Here’s Kate Upton on the set of Nick Cassavetes The Other Woman. This film looks promising.

Photo Credit: PCN

The Guy From Sum 41 Is Doing Great

By Travis June 07, 2013 @ 11:00 AM

Things must be a little tough for Sum 41 frontman Deryck Whibley these days, what with his ex-wife, Avril Lavigne, being engaged to Nickelback’s Chad Kroeger so they can eventually give birth to the music industry’s antichrist. So it was nice to see Deryck get back on that horse and head out to the Tom Petty show at the Fonda Theatre in Hollywood last night with a tall, leggy woman who clearly isn’t with him for his dashing good looks.

Danny Masterson was also there, possibly handing out Scientology pamphlets or because the back lot at TBS was being fumigated, so he couldn’t crash in the security trailer last night. Either way, I’m sure the gold diggers in attendance enjoyed the night off.

(Photo Credits: RHS/

Hello, 2013 Miss USA Contestants

By Travis June 07, 2013 @ 10:00 AM

Say what you want about Donald Trump – he’s an egomaniacal monster with hair that was scraped off the floor of an animal kill shelter or he’s a brilliant social troll who knows how to keep his name relevant my pushing the buttons of easily enraged buffoons for the sake of his stale TV show – but without him and his love for hot, young women, we wouldn’t have the Miss USA pageant to pretend to care about each year.

And Trump doesn’t need to send his girls on goodwill tours or have them perform shows for people, not when they have bikinis and Las Vegas pools at their disposal, as they did yesterday when they showed up at the GO Pool inside the Flamingo Hotel and Casino. Sure, they probably all have at least pink eye now, but still… how the hell are ya, Miss Nevada?

(Photo Credits: Judy Eddy/

Kris Jenner’s Talk Show Still Looks Awful (VIDEO)

By Travis June 07, 2013 @ 9:00 AM

Long before reality TV shows became the perfect way for people with absolutely no talent to pretend like they were celebrities, networks handed out talk shows to keep semi-relevant people like Magic Johnson and Chevy Chase in the spotlight. Meanwhile, people with actual talent, like Oprah and Ellen, realized daytime talk shows could easily entertain the stay-at-home idiots and make them a ton of money. So it makes perfect sense that someone as talentless and greedy as Kris Jenner would think that she could host a daytime TV show as well.

Debuting on July 15, the Kris Jenner Show has a new promo out, and it’s pretty obvious that this show is just going to be another hour of the Kardashians pimping whatever horrible project they’re working on next. Eventually, Kris won’t even be able to get Kim Kardashian on the show and each episode will feature her screaming at Kylie and Kendall to look sexier.

Justin Bieber Galactic Warrior

By Lex June 06, 2013 @ 5:36 PM

I don’t know what genius convinced the artist Justin Bieber to sign up for space travel, but very well done. An imp conceived in the Underworld like this twatnut can not be destroyed while within his earthly confines. Just imagine how many have tried to snuff out his bright light. But when he rockets out on Virgin Galactic and hits low orbit, I got the Red Bull parachute guy ready to fire off a hull-busting trident then jump back to earth. In space, I hope we can hear Justin scream.

Amy Adams Has Nipples

By Lex June 06, 2013 @ 4:21 PM

Amy Adams' Nipple In Elle UK Magazine
Amy Adams seems like such a good girl. I wasn’t sure she had nipples. But I think I see one. I assume it dispenses soy milk and sings during rainstorms to keep the kids entertained when they can’t play outside.

Photo Credit: Elle UK