Jay Leno took a 50 percent pay cut

By brendon September 11, 2012 @ 12:10 PM

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NBC has no idea what the fuck it’s doing of course, as was made perfectly clear once again during the Olympics and the fact that their plan was to lose $200 million (again) and now they’re gloating about simply breaking even. If nothing else they feel it’s an amazing way to promote their new shows, like they did in 2004 and 2008, when all of the shows they pushed were cancelled in less than one season.

Now the Wall Street Journal says Jay Leno is taking a paycut from $30 million a year to $15 million to prevent NBC from cutting his ‘Tonight Show’ budget and staff, which they want to do despite the fact that ‘Tonight’ made $160 million in ad revenue last year, one of the very few things on NBC that made any profit at all.

So the plan isn’t to stop doing dumb things, it’s to attack and demoralize the shows that are actually making money. Phase 2 of the plan is to dig up Johnny Carson and let wolves chew his bones in the parking lot.

Amanda Bynes was pulled over again, let go again

By brendon September 10, 2012 @ 11:24 PM

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Amanda Bynes was pulled over again last night for driving without her headlights on, and despite that, and despite having a suspended license for a DUI and hitting a cop car, they gave her a warning and let her go. And she drove away. Without a license.

As she left the cops high-fived each other for a job well done before realizing they’d locked themselves out of their squad car and that someone had traded their guns for bananas. It was a very typical day for the LAPD.

(image source = tmz)

Rihanna has this nifty new tattoo

By brendon September 10, 2012 @ 9:01 PM

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What you see here is a tattoo of Isiris that Rihanna got last night in London, and about an inch above that are boobs, and then about a foot above that is her head. These things are listed in order of importance.

She’s annoying but this is a awesome tat. If i ever tit-fuck her my penis will look like it has wings, soaring majestically above the clouds, just as I imagine it.

(image source = rihannas instagram)

Selena Gomez has a well placed card

By brendon September 10, 2012 @ 8:07 PM

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That headline picture is basically what Justin Bieber sees when he and Selena Gomez are alone, and tries to stifle his homosexuality long enough to get an erection.

(image source of selena at the tornoto film festival this weekend to promote ‘spring breakers’ = getty)

its Jessica Simpsons Weight Watchers commercial

By brendon September 10, 2012 @ 6:44 PM

Jessica Simpsons Weight Watchers commercial premiered today, and I can’t tell if it’s for a diet or a whitening toothpaste. Because her teeth look terrific, but she’s big as a house and you can tell even though they only show her from the neck up. YOU’RE NOT FOOLIN ME, BIG ASS! They should just create a toothpaste named White Watchers and pretend this was for that.

(image source of jessica in new york today = fame/flynet)

don’t worry about Leonardo DiCaprio

By brendon September 10, 2012 @ 4:14 PM

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You might think that Leonardo DiCaprio would be upset today after hearing that Blake Lively (his ex-girlfriend) married Ryan Reynolds this weekend. But here’s DiCaprios current girlfriend, Erin Heatherton, shooting for Victorias Secret today in Miami. He might think this is Blake Lively. Or he probably doesn’t even remember that he dated Blake Lively. It would be like asking your dog about a shoe he ate last year.

(image source = fame/flynet)

Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively got married

By brendon September 10, 2012 @ 2:54 PM

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Ryan Reynolds starting dating Scarlett Johansson in April of 2007 and they secretly got married in September of 2008. That marriage lasted a little more than 2 years, and if you think the problem was that he dated her too long, than you and Ryan Reynolds agree, because he secretly married Blake Lively this weekend in South Carolina, after dating her for just 11 months.

Hopefully this marriage sticks because he’s maybe two divorces from going to a chruch in a tux and picking up girls as the walk down the aisle to marry someone else. And he’s rich and handsome and charming and does crunches like 50 fucking hours a day. If you have a hot girlfriend, he’s like seeing a big shark while your boat is sinking; you just hope he goes after someone else.

Lindsay wants tax cuts for people mislabeled by Forbes

By brendon September 07, 2012 @ 4:05 PM

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Lindsay Lohan was speaking for all of us last night when she stood up to those fat cats in DC and let them know that tax cuts for the middle class are not enough, we also needs tax cuts for people who are mistakingly listed as a millionaire in magazines. If we’re ever gonna get America working again, we need to lift the tax burden on those one or two people who might exist!

And that was the second tweet in three days prompted by the voices in Lindsays head, because she also wants Tom Cruise to know she was not involved in the Vanity Fair story about Scientology trying to find a wife for him.

“I just want everyone & @TomCruise to know, that I have/had NO part in the VF story.. Nor has anyone in my life, personal and work related.”

So that clears that up. You might have thought it was already clear because Lindsay was never mentioned in that story, in any way, and there have been no rumors or reports that she had anything to do with it, but now it’s double clear.

No word yet on if she’ll be on the mound for the Orioles tonight or if she’s a copy of the iPhone, but those are also popular stories I’ve heard about, and she hasn’t denied it so naturally I assume she’s involved.