kelly clarkson denies shes gay

By brendon February 04, 2009 @ 1:08 PM

I find it impossible to believe that anyone asked, but Kelly Clarkson would like you to know she’s not gay. Us magazine says…

"I get that all the time. People are like, 'Are you secretly a lesbian? Because I'd really love it.'
"Lesbians tell it to me all the time," she goes on. "I'm like, 'I'm glad it works for you, and I wish I liked women like that because often times, men are very hard for me, but I happen to like boys.'"
Clarkson goes on to say she "could never be a lesbian. I would never want to date [someone like] myself, ever. I'm a crazy person. I need some kind of stable, quiet man."

You really shouldn’t say things like "I need some kind of stable" when you’re as fat as Kelly Clarkson.

Tags: kelly clarkson |

393 Comments

wtf! – update (!)

By brendon February 04, 2009 @ 11:52 AM

Aww god dammit. Is everyone in Hollywood on HGH except me? This is bullshit. If anyone out there has a hookup for HGH let me know. I’m not kidding. I want that shit. Tom Cruise was a mess a few months ago, now look at him yesterday in Brazil. He's like a damn underwear model. I just drafted him as a free safety in my fantasy league.

(picture source = splash news. Im tryng to get better and more of these pictures. And I’m not even remotely kidding about the HGH. Someone hook my ass up. Im gonna get all buff and shit.)

UPDATE – finally a better picture, full size here.

Tags: tom cruise |

189 Comments

a hero we can believe in

By brendon February 04, 2009 @ 11:51 AM

A 28-year-old from Houston has just broken the world record for the largest implants after her latest surgery brought her chest up to 38KKK, although it's not clear if she loves big tits or is just really really racist. The New York Post says…

Sheyla Hershey's massive 38KKK breasts have been declared the world's biggest boob job, according to Britain's Daily Star.
The 28-year-old, a Texas housewive, has had nine operations to get her up to this size.
She traveled to Brazil to get her last procedure which took her from an FFF to a KKK after Texas officials refused to do it, for fear that her breasts could explode.
Hershey, from Houston, said: "To me, big is beautiful. I don't think I have anything to worry about."

At first I thought this might be dangerous, but then I read that doctors in South America agreed to do it. The first words that jump into my mind when I think of South America are "responsible" and "sanitary". It's almost like living in the future.

(more pictures in the Post)

9 photos in gallery >

Tags: boobs |

183 Comments

jude law is all man

By brendon February 04, 2009 @ 9:48 AM

Jude Laws looks are fading faster than the Nazis at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark, but at least – despite a solid B cup – he still looks better in real life than he does as woman for the new movie "Rage". Man, maybe I wont get that sex change operation after all. The movies director says…

Part of the subject matter of RAGE is the ugly use of beauty in the pursuit of profit. Drugged by Marketing, sapped by fear of aging, conned by the cult of celebrity… image becomes all.
Jude Law, whose beauty has sometimes been held against him as an actor, made the courageous decision to accept the role of Minx – a “celebrity super-model” and took on a kind of hyper-beauty for this persona… a ‘female’ beauty which gradually unravels as the story unfolds.
Strangely, the more he became a ‘she’, coiffed and made-up – the more naked was his performance. There was great strength in his willingness to make himself vulnerable. It was an extraordinarily intense part of the shoot.

Holy Christ. The only way she could have made that movie sound any more boring is if she just dropped her head on the keyboard and typed NNNNNNNNN for 18 lines.

Tags: jude law |

247 Comments

joaquin phoenix isnt joking

By brendon February 04, 2009 @ 7:37 AM

The last we heard Joaquin Phoenix was ditching acting to become a rapper but really it was all a Borat-style hoax orchestrated by Phoenix and Casey Affleck. Phoenix seemed insane, but it was really all a joke. But now he’d like to make clear that, oh no, he’s batshit crazy all right, and how dare you insinuate otherwise. People magazine says…

"There's not a hoax," Phoenix tells the Associated. "Might I be ridiculous? Might my career in music be laughable? Yeah, that's possible, but that's certainly not my intention. I had a lot of dudes come up and say, `We really respect you for doing it, putting yourself out there, and going with it. Because I think true hip-hop heads know that it's hard, it's going to be a hard transition, and people are going to be lining up just to make fun of me."

I find it hard to believe that Joaquin Phoenix is lucid enough to master mind some secret double life. You could put a snake puppet on that stoners hand and he’d wake up screaming and run in circles trying to get away until he either passed out or went insane.

Tags: joaquin phoenix |

137 Comments

jessica simpson is doing great

By brendon February 04, 2009 @ 6:39 AM

Thinking back to just a few years ago and it would seem that Jessica Simpson should have been the easiest career in the world to manage. People liked her, she was super hot, big tits, a decent singer and actress. She was like Britney, except better in every way. But her dad is a dolt who decided to micromanage everything despite the fact he had no idea what the hell he was doing, and so now we get stuff like this. Us magazine says…

Simpson's latest flick, Private Valentine: Blonde & Dangerous (original title: Major Movie Star), was released straight to DVD today
Simpson's first movie, The Dukes of Hazzard (shot in the height of her career while Simpson looked her sexiest), earned a whopping $80 million — but her following films didn't find the same success.
Employee of the Month earned $28 million, while Blonde Ambition hit video stores shelves after showing in just eight Texas theaters and earning about $1,300.

Then the article says something about Audrina Patridges movie "Into The Blue 2" going straight to DVD on April 21st. So I thought it would be a good idea to post pictures of Audrina during the filming of that. Here's a summary of the movies plot right here.

11 photos in gallery >

Tags: audrina patridge, jessica simpson |

148 Comments

oh no she di’ent!

By brendon February 04, 2009 @ 5:35 AM

In case you didn’t know (and good lord why would you) Hollywood is remaking "Bonnie and Clyde". It’s a pretty popular decision, because the original with Faye Dunaway and Warren Beatty was so unsatisfying and left a lot of unanswered questions, but believe it or not, Dunaway had a problem with her role going to *ahem* Hilary Duff.

“Couldn't they at least cast a real actress?''

And now Duff has responded. E! says…

Hilary Duff clearly had enough of Faye Dunaway's supposed criticism about whether she has the chops to take on one of the Oscar winner's most iconic roles, the gun-toting Bonnie Parker, in a new flick titled The Story of Bonnie and Clyde. During a break from filming a guest spot on the set of Ghost Whisperer, Duff told E!'s Daily 10, "I think that my fans that are going to go see the movie don't even know who she is," regarding the Hollywood legend, adding, "I think it was a little unnecessary, but I might be mad if I looked like that now, too."

So, to recap, Hilary Duff is guest starring on the "Ghost Whisperer", and she thinks she's in a position to make fun of Faye Dunaway. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but guest starring on the Ghost Whisperer isn’t exactly a badge of honor. I would close the blinds and put on a mask if I were just going to watch that GD thing.

Tags: faye dunaway, hilary duff |

130 Comments

i heart lily allen, part 24

By brendon February 03, 2009 @ 1:28 PM

Finally. Jeez this took forever. People kept sending me these links (thank you, by the way) but I could never find the pictures. Until now. Oh, I know, I bet you’re all just as giddy as I am to get more Lily Allen posts. Eeeeeeeee!!!!!

Lily Allen clearly wasn't going for the shy and retiring look when she chose her latest stage outfit. The Smile singer bared her bottom in an electric blue Little Bo Peep costume and stockings on the night it was revealed she had topped the charts with her new single
Lily wore the £395 Agent Provocateur Marine Sailor body with their Europa Blue hold-up stockings, £18, and lacy Cara briefs £60.
She teamed the outfit with a pair of towering beige platform heels and was presented with a cake at the event to celebrate her comeback single The Fear hitting the number one spot.

So, in summation, I don’t know why she wore this, but here are the pictures, and as we embark on this fantastic journey together, remember your training, and god speed.

11 photos in gallery >

Tags: lily allen |

191 Comments

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