Olivia Munn Shows Off Her Cleavage At ‘The Late Show’

By Lex August 28, 2013 @ 10:56 AM

Olivia Munn Shows Off Her Cleavage As She Arrives At 'The Late Show' In New York

Photo Credit: FameFlynet, INFphoto.com, PCN

Khloe Kardashian Really Wants Some Privacy

By Travis August 28, 2013 @ 10:00 AM

While her husband, Lamar Odom, was allegedly staying in a hotel room somewhere, smoking more crack than a big city mayor, and finally resurfaced in public looking like he’d been in a steam room for three weeks, Khloe Kardashian Odom was showing everyone how brave and supportive she was when she hit the gym yesterday in a pair of his socks and holding his sweater. At least everyone will call her brave, because that’s usually what happens when a famous woman goes about her daily routine after her husband does something humiliating.

Any other random woman would get, “Look at this stupid bitch pretending that he husband doesn’t smoke crack.” But with Khloe it’s more, “Hey, at least she’s not holed up in a Golden Corral.”

(Photo Credits: WENN.com)

Kate Gosselin Sues Jon Gosselin Because She Can

By Lex August 28, 2013 @ 9:29 AM

Kate Gosselin At A Zappos Marathon In Las Vegas
Kate Gosselin is suing her ex-husband Jon because she wants money. I ran it through my pea-sized brain why else it could be, but, no, it’s just money. Whatever that dipshit has left from paying child support for eight kids, she wants it. So about two cents. She claims Jon hacked into her computer and email and bank accounts to get information for a tell-all book he had written about her a year ago that nobody bought. Because until one of them murders the other or one of the kids wipes them both out in their sleep for making the nice cameramen go away, their media tale is over. Naturally, hacking into other people’s bank accounts is a Federal offense punishable by your heinous ex-wife suing you for money.

Photo Credit: Getty, WENN

Michael Douglas And Catherine Zeta-Jones Are Done

By Travis August 28, 2013 @ 9:00 AM

It has been a little more than four months since Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones were photographed together at the 40th anniversary of the Chaplin Award Gala and they’d been going on separate vacations during that time, so I thought everyone already basically assumed that they had divorced. But they were still faking along, pretending to be happy, until People revealed that they’re “taking a break” this week, which is fancy Hollywood slang for “the wife who is 25 years younger than the husband would like to start riding some young beef while her lady parts still work.”

To their credit, Michael and Catherine had been through a ton of personal and health shit during their 13-year marriage that would have killed most of us normal people, but they’ve persevered for the sake of their two young children. And also because they have a shitload of money.

(Photo Credit: Getty)

Madonna Still Makes More Money Than The God She Defiles

By Lex August 27, 2013 @ 5:23 PM

Madonna Arrives At The World Premiere Of 'Madonna- The MDNA Tour' In New York
I don’t know what to say, twenty-five years into her popularity and Madonna is still owning the sport of selling shit like a pop star. Transferring dollars from young girls and dudes who love hair product into her own bank account. Make fun of her Skeletor looks, her desperate desire to act half her age, her purchased politically correct adopted children, her idiotic statements, her mostly moronic music, and on and on and on. Bitch be popping still. She earned $125 million this past year, more than even fucking Oprah, making her the top earning celebrity on the planet. She’s got scoreboard. She’s LeBron. You can no longer hate on her without sounding stupid.

Photo Credit: Getty

Teddy Bear Companies Want Miley Cyrus To Stop Humping Teddy Bears

By Lex August 27, 2013 @ 4:10 PM

The people who want to sell you Teddy Bear Picnic and Teddy Bears for Valentine’s Day and Teddy Bears for your cute little daughters want Miley Cyrus to stop using teddy bear costumes and imagery in her raunchy music videos and stage performances. They also want nobody anywhere ever to acknowledge the fact that many young girls discover their sexuality with Mr. Higglesworth getting frisky in the dark. Plus, good luck with making Miley Cyrus stop anything. Don’t you listen to her music? She can’t stop. She won’t stop. She owns herself and some other shit I can’t remember from her song. Besides, her teddy bear pornographification isn’t even close yet to what Colombian model Natalia Paris does with hers in videos…

In case you can’t get enough Miley up close and personal, we had a fan send in cell phone pictures right from the front lines of Miley’s VMA performance. Kasey was so close, the intoxicating scent of vinyl and Cyrus labial conditioner was inescapable. Now that sounds fucking glorious.

Alec Baldwin Ass Rapes Paparazzo So He’ll Never Forget

By Jack August 27, 2013 @ 3:07 PM

Alec Baldwin and his fucked up Irish temper struck again when he allegedly attacked a photographer on the streets of New York. And, by ‘allegedly’ I mean he pinned the paparazzo against a car. Supposedly, the pap was taking pictures of Jack Donaghy and his yoga instructor wife Hilaria, when Baldwin flipped the fuck out…again. There were a lot of witnesses, because the streets of New York are full of witnesses. There are nearly 10 million people here for Stephen Baldwin’s sake. His buddies claim the photog started it while everyone else says Baldwin attacked. Witnesses say Hilaria ducked into a tea store. A friend said, “What kind of sick twisted psychopath chases a woman who just got out of the hospital from having a baby into a tea store?” A good point, but I totally think Baldwin started it. Why? Because he’s an angry street dick and I should know.

That’s right. I was driving in Greenwich village a few months ago minding my own business down 12th street when an old man literally jumped in front of my car. Even though I had the right-of-way, he got red in the face and started pounding on my car, hard. It was then that I recognized Angry Baldwin. He told me to go fuck myself and Hilaria had to pull him away. Not exactly like having your car surrounded by Taliban forces in Kabul, but still pretty freaky even for New York. Does this auto-assault prove that Baldwin attacked the photog? No. But it does show  that he’s a man who would attack a crappy used car. Sure, half the world wants to key a brand new shiny Beemer, but only rage disturbed. homeless people bang on crappy used cars.

Not that it’s related, but here’s Alec bringing his cute little new daughter home from the hospital. I hope she came with a a front fender that can be banged out if dented.

Photo Credit: INFphoto.com

See If You Can Find the Crack Binging Proof in the Lamar Odom Allegations (VIDEO)

By Lex August 27, 2013 @ 1:49 PM

Can you find any sourcing in this TMZ piece leveling all kinds of allegations about Lamar Odom? It seems so obviously just a repeat of shit from Kris Jenner in this Lamar Odom is a disappeared crack addict story. Khloe is a saint, she’s trying to help Lamar, whose lost in a cloud of crack, that’s why he’s locked himself in motel rooms banging whores. It has nothing to do with the sound of his wife’s shrieking voice penetrating his ear drums like the Ceti eel crawling into Chekov’s brain.

But, wait, TMZ is now backing into building a drug case against Lamar. Hotel employees found burn marks in his hotel room carpet!

We’re told that during at least part of the time he was playing for the Mavs, Lamar was smoking Oxycontin and cocaine.

‘We’re told’, ‘we learned. Passive tense with no sourcing. Jesus, I don’t even like Lamar Odom, but I hope that fucker is running as fast and as far away from Calabasas as humanly possible.