Jennifer Aniston Bares Cleavage At The Toronto Film Festival

By Lex September 16, 2013 @ 9:57 AM

Jennifer Aniston Bares Cleavage At The Premiere For 'Life Of Crime' At The Toronto International Film Festival

Photo Credit: Getty,, WENN

Justin Bieber Is Trying To Ruin Superman

By Travis September 16, 2013 @ 9:00 AM

Justin Bieber has every comic book geek from here to Metropolis freaking out over the above image that he posted to Instagram on Saturday, because everyone thinks it means that the boy with the mustache made of pubes is actually going to be in Batman vs. Superman. Realistically, Warner Bros. just sent him a copy of the script because he’s a huge celebrity and keeping the plot a secret is for pussies. But on the awful chance that Zack Snyder values his and Superman fans so little, we can at least hope for a reprisal of Bieber’s greatest acting moment to date.

Kissing Johnny Galecki Made Sara Gilbert Gay

By Lex September 13, 2013 @ 6:06 PM

What a letdown to learn that all the hot sexual sparks on Roseanne weren’t real. When the little scruffy mannish daughter would kiss her sexually ambiguous looking boyfriend, I thought I felt something. But I guess it was just the cosmic sting of lies and deceit as Sara Gilbert now says she never liked kissing boys at all.

I thought he was super cute and had a total crush on him and we started dating and he would come over and we would make out and then I would start to get depressed,

But not so depressed that she didn’t formulate a plan to use Johnny as a beard during the course of the show so she could regularly scissor kiss a girlfriend twice her age. She said Johnny was totally okay with it, or at least couldn’t hear his protests with her worn boxer shorts stuffed into his mouth.

Gilbert felt horrible about keeping her gay secret, but worried about the repercussions on her career in Hollywood given the fact that nobody ever in her lifetime was hurt by being gay in Hollywood. So, basically, she didn’t want her folks to know.

Kendra Wilkinson Would Let Her Daughter Pose For Playboy (VIDEO)

By Lex September 13, 2013 @ 5:10 PM

Kendra Wilkinson would be okay with her daughter posing naked in Playboy. With just a few caveats. One, she doesn’t have a daughter. So, there’s that. But two, even if she did she’d only endorse her being naked for the cameras if she did it for all the right reasons, like Kendra did herself. I think she means money and a chance to work the clubs closer to the Interstate.

“[But] If she is in a bad place, in a bad mental place and having a bad head on her shoulders and doing it under bad conditions, that’s different.”

Well, naturally, All that badness is not good. Kendra goes on to explain that she now owns the fact she did Playboy. So it’s almost like it didn’t happen, but it did, but she’s fine with it, fuck, more than fine, she owns it like she does her purse or her car or her unemployed husband.

“My son sees me nude every day. He’s like, ‘Boobies!’ He sees them every day, like I don’t care. It’s food, like, I don’t care.”

Sure, her son rides for free, but when the buddies start coming over, they’d better be bringing their Wiggles wallets with some real greenbacks, because Little Hank’s moms “food” don’t start shaking until you plug in your tokens.

Photo Credit: WENN

Kendall Jenner Is A Pro

By Lex September 13, 2013 @ 4:05 PM

Kendal Jenner Models Bikinis For Agua Bendita
When the world is crashing around you, the best thing you can do is be too dimwitted to notice. It’s not always a choice, not a choice really at all, but it is a blessing. Kendall Jenner might just be the perfect Kardashian.

Here’s Kendall modeling for Agua Bendita swimwear. There’s no need for schooling when you’re making bank like a fiend.

Lady Gaga Sued By Former Assistant

By Jack September 13, 2013 @ 3:38 PM

Meat couture enthusiast Lady Gaga is being sued by a former assistant and friend for being such a demanding bitch. The lawsuit claims that in the time Jennifer O’Neill worked for lady freakshow she basically had no life and wasn’t paid overtime for being at the star’s fucking beck and call 24/7. She had to sleep in the same bed as Lady Gaga just in case she needed anything in the middle of the night. This has got to be tough as I imagine Lady Gaga sleeps in some weird places like in a cocoon of bear placentas or upsidedown like a bat. O’Neil says she didn’t know it was going to be like that. Really? You didn’t know stars can demand all of your fucking time? Lady Gaga says,

“You don’t get a schedule. You don’t get a schedule that is like you punch in and you can play … at your desk for four hours and then you punch out at the end of the day. This is when I need you, you’re available.”

A fair point. As fucking ridiculous as caring fo the needs of one of these pampered twats is, you have to know what you’re getting yourself into when you go to work for them. Especially for someone as fucking weird as Lady Gaga. You are going to end up making butter sculptures of Valdimir Putin and getting hemeroid cream for fat drag queens at 5am.

Nicole Kidman Knocked Over By Paparazzi On A Bike

By Jack September 13, 2013 @ 3:08 PM

Natural redhead Nicole Kidman is pressing charges against paparazzo Carl Wu after he knocked her on her Aussie ass during Fashion Week. The photographer was trying to take pictures when he lost control of his bike and crashed into the tallest of Tom Cruise’s former beard. She isn’t hurt but she’s going to press charges anyway, which is what Wu deserves for not knowing that you don’t ride bikes on the sidewalk and wearing a headband after 1985.

Isabeli Fontana Doesn’t Need a Real Name

By Lex September 13, 2013 @ 2:25 PM

Isabeli Fontana Poses Topless In The September 2013 Issue Of Lui Magazine
Every adult actress makes two tough decisions at some point in their life: do I really want to have sex on camera for money, and what will my porn name be? The first part is usually answered by scars left from daddy, but picking that name, that’s the real gut wrenching decision. I don’t think Isabeli Fontana is a porn star, but she’s Brazilian, so she’s really close. Her name sure sounds like she’s starring opposite James Deen in the role of the woman who blah blah blah then gets fucked in the ass.

Here’s Isabeli Fontana in Lui magazine. You probably don’t get that one delivered to your front doorstep, so you can see it here.

Photo Credit: Lui Magazine