Anais Zanotti is a self-described ‘international model’. It’s like being a ‘contest winning writer’. I did exult her before for being allowed to take her clothes off for Playboy Romania. I guess that’s not a huge compliment, though it’s bigger than any I expect to receive in my lifetime. Plus she’s wearing a bikini that my grandmother would’ve called ‘slutty’ if she were around to see it. Don’t worry, grandma’s not dead, she’s just locked up in a place that blocks this website.
I’m guessing it sucks when you’ve got a best friends with bigger boobs than you’ve got. Not that you have trouble getting guys even with your little girl body. But your friend, she’s got that woman’s body. And all the guys might be hanging around you because your cute and famous and all. But you keep seeing their heads jerking toward your friend with the big titties. And you get jealous. So you treat her unfairly until she no longer wants to be your friend. Then you have to go find other bitter small girls to shop with to find tops that don’t make you look like your twelve. There’s much less drama surrounding a small dick. I’m guessing.
Most everybody hates Chris Brown. Who wouldn’t love to hear tales of him fronting as a badass in prison by day, being sodomized by entire cell blocks of hard-timers after lights out. But this shit about busting hardcore idiots for mostly nothing has got to stop. Rear-ending a Mercedes in Beverly Hills and not providing your license to the driver of the other car? I guess that’s a crime. So is not volunteering to pay sales taxes on your Amazon purchases. How are you doing with that? Either way, looks like the L.A. City attorney is filing hit and run charges for the ‘crime’ (see above) which wouldn’t mean much except that Chris Brown is still on probation for his infamous woman beating on Rihanna. Which could mean four years in prison for Chris. Only, it won’t. Because he’s a celebrity. So, mostly, nothing really happened today to Chris Brown.
I think I need to go to better beaches. I went last weekend and saw a fat woman rub out a cigarette on one of the folds of her skin. I don’t think she meant to. I think she mistook it for a piece of jetsam in the sand. I waited another two hours to see a really good looking Danish model flashing her tits in the surf but that never happened.
Here’s Nina Agdal in a Antoine Verglas photo shoot. I think there’s a Mermaid motif. I’m not sure. I mostly can’t stop staring at her boobs.
Kate Gosselin continued to prove to the world just what a sack of shit she is in a ‘slant eye’ selfie that’s surfaced on Twitter. The former reality star is wearing a plastic “geisha” headpiece in the picture and decided to finish off the look by pulling her eyes back into slits. Even though her litter of kids is half Korean, you are forgetting how completely shitty and lacking in self-reflection this breeding cow is. Yeah, she’s probably really making fun of her ex, Jon Gosselin. And I’m all for that. That guy sucks possibly as much as her. Recently, Ed Hardy blamed this toolbag for permanently tainting his brand with the smell of loser by wearing Hardy’s hideous flaming skull shirts on the show. Jon and Kate will probably never go away for good. At least until their precocious kids all get together and figure out how to make their embarrassing parents disappear.
What is this world coming to when even super rich politicians can’t nail underage girls for a respectable amount of cash? Not the kind of world I want to live in. Former Italian Prime Minister and media mogul Silvio Berlusconi got another prison sentence, this time seven years for paying to have sex with seventeen year old exotic belle Karima El Mahroug. He also used connections to get her out of trouble when she got arrested in another case. So you could see him as a sweet and caring granddad type. I’m never sure why these horny old dudes can’t just keep their grisly nut busting to legal aged girls. I guess once you start rubbing that genie lamp and wishes come true, it’s hard to contain what you ask for.
Here’s the Moroccan chick that Berlusconi just had to plunder. Her nickname was Ruby The Heartstealer. And, by nickname, I mean, the name her pimp gave her to make her even more exotic to the dirty old men who wanted to befoul her.
Hailey Baldwin is the offspring of Stephen Baldwin. Stephen holds the honor of being the craziest of the Baldwin brothers. Stephen made a good move seventeen years ago, about the same time he made Hailey. He’s spent the time since largely preaching the Gospel on his skateboard, ruining himself financially, and delving deeper into the Baldwin family nutso gene. Now he’s got a hot seventeen year old daughter running around in a bikini. That ought to provide him some serenity.
Hailey Baldwin is not to be confused with her more successful blond seventeen year old cousin Ireland Baldwin. The two of whom are engaging in fake online catfights in some kind of jailbait fantasy sequence come to life.
We told you last week about Paula Deen getting in trouble for throwing slavery themed parties. Not satisfied with having her Black employees only look like slaves, she treated them as if they were slaves. According to a former cook named Sheldon Ervin, she regularly forced the African-American men in her employ to work long nights and weekend events for no money. I don’t mean a little money, I mean nothing. Well, maybe some booze:
“Paula and Bubba just gave us beer and alcohol and I don’t even drink. It was insulting and unfair. I was like, ‘Pay me!’…I needed the money and I was the only one to step up and complain over it because half of the kitchen just needed their jobs. I was fired over it in the end because I’m not afraid to speak my mind.”
That’s right. She would make them dress in Uncle Ben’s uniform, set up tents, cook the food, and serve her fellow rich hillbilly guests and only pay them in Natty Light. One of the fucked up members of her Redneck clan was allowed to refer to a family cook as “my little monkey”. All of this has led to Paula’s show being cancelled and the loss of valuable sponsors, most recently sausage maker Smithfield Foods. You know you are in trouble when pork sausage makers think you are gross.
Not that Paula Deen is without her defenders. Like creepy vampire writer Anne Rice who is calling all the recent negative exposure on Paul Deen’s a ‘lynch mob mentality‘. Anne Rice got a thousand Facebook likes on that on the nose turn of a phrase. There are also reports that devoted fans are packing her restaurants to show their support. This is getting good.