Khloe Kardashian might have a different father

By brendon January 11, 2012 @ 2:33 PM

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It’s always been obvious that Khloe Kardashian can’t possibly have the same father as Kim and Kourtney, yet Kris Jenner has stuck to her claim that Robert Kardashian was in fact the father of all three. But now his second and third wives both tell Star this week that Robert never believed Kris, and that they weren’t even having sex (which is how babies are made) when Khloe was conceived.

His second wife, whom he married just months after divorcing Kris, says…

“He just kind of looked at me and said [it] like it was a matter of fact. He said, ‘Well, you know that Khloe’s not really a Kardashian, don’t you?’ And I said…’OK,’ and that was it.”

And his thrid wife, whom he was married to when he died, adds…

“Khloe brought it up all the time. She looked nothing like the rest. She was tall, had a different shape, light hair, curly hair. Didn’t look anything like the other three children.”

Though she won’t go as far as to state the obvious, Kris has now admitted that she did have an affair while married to Robert. And get this; it was with a bear. So that has to be Khloes dad, right, I mean the pieces all fit!

its the first five minutes of ‘Haywire’

By brendon January 11, 2012 @ 11:41 AM

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Steven Soderbergh is an Academy Award winning director, so it was a little surprising to see that his new movie ‘Haywire’ is a pure, unrepentant action film. Even more surprising was that, while big stars like Michael Douglas, Ewan McGregor, Antonio Banderas, and Michael Fassbender fill out the cast, the star is Gina Carano.

If you don’t know, Gina Carano is not an actor. She’s an MMA fighter, ranked 3rd in the world at one point, with a background in Muay Thai, and who trains with the great Greg Jackson.

Anyway, last night they put the first five minutes of ‘Haywire’ online.

As you can see it was very wise of Soderbergh to have Ginas first scene be with Channing Tatum, because compared to him she looks like Meryl Streep. He’s so dumb looking and wooden, half the time I see him on screen I end up thinking someone paused the movie.

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Kim Kardshian has been replaced by a dog

By brendon January 10, 2012 @ 8:16 PM

Kim Kardashian was the star of Skechers hugely expensive Superbowl commercial last year, but that was before her offensively transparent wedding and subsequent divorce and everyone realized what a greedy whore she is.

So now Skechers is replacing her with a bulldog who wins a race against a pack of greyhounds. Not only is the bulldog cheaper, but the commercial will require less CGI than the one where they had to hide Kims giant ass.

AnnaLynne McCord accidentally tweeted a topless pic

By brendon January 10, 2012 @ 6:24 PM

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AnnaLynne McCord sent a picture of herself to one of her followers on twitter, not realizing that you could see her nipple in it. Once her followers told her what she’d done, she replaced the original with a cropped version. So really it was just a simple mistake that anyone could make. I bet I couldn’t even count the number of times I’ve accidentally sent a picture of my dick to someone.

Oh wait yes I can count the number of times I’ve done that. The answer is none. I’ve done that none times.

(pic 1 = original, pic 2 = replacement)

Molly Sims is pregnant

By brendon January 10, 2012 @ 5:29 PM

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Remember actress and Sports Illustrated model Molly Sims? I’m assuming the answer is yes, because she was famous, and I just reminded you about her.

Anyway, Us magazine has “breaking news” this afternoon saying she’s pregnant. So, if you’re the one who did that to her, you should probably give her a call.

Amanda Seyfried will be naked in ‘Lovelace’

By brendon January 10, 2012 @ 3:58 PM

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E! says today that we need to get ready to see Amanda Seyfried, “like we’ve never seen her before.”

“With an expression,” you may ask? Perhaps (though probably not), but what they mean specifically is, “naked.” They’re also assuming you didn’t see ‘Chloe’, because she was naked in that constantly, and has naked lesbian sex with Julianne Moore (ahem and ahem).

We just got word that (Seyfried) is stripping way down for her role as famed Deep Throat porn star Linda Lovelace in the upcoming biopic Lovelace…
“It’s going to be very risqué,” Lovelace producer Patrick Muldoon told us.
“It’s a new thing for her, but it’s not about nudity,” he said. “(It’s) about how abusive the porn industry was to Linda Lovelace,” he said. “Yes, there’s a lot of nudity, but it’s a message movie about respecting women.”

“Especially the ones who can deep throat,” he went on to say.

(image source of seyfried on the set of ‘lovelace’ = pacific coast)

the definitive Alex Rodriguez picture

By brendon January 10, 2012 @ 2:02 PM

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The reason people think Alex Rodriguez is gay because he does things like spend the day working on his tan with his manly looking girlfriend and a little dog with a pink bow in it’s hair.

There’s no follow up point to this by the way, I’m just explaining why people think Alex Rodriguez is gay.

(image source = splash)

Oprah gives terrible baby presents

By brendon January 10, 2012 @ 1:03 PM

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Oprah Winfrey has sent a gift to Beyonce and Jay Z for their new baby girl; a trunk full of children’s books. In other words, a giant ugly black thing filled with simple messages from someone who isn’t actually good at anything but wants lots of money anyway. It’ll be just like having the real Oprah right there in the room!