Victoria Beckham Refuses to Crack

Victoria Beckham made her way to the Vogue Festival in London. She fucking loves clothes. She makes them. She sells them. She diddles her lady parts with them in her walk-in closet. A Vogue fashion event for Victoria Beckham is like pig in shit. Like an Eagles fan at a... read more

Doutzen Kroes Is A Good Swimmer

Victoria Secret model Doutzen Kroes was spotted at the beach over the weekend in Miami. And by 'spotted' I mean she was posing for photographers and making a big ruckus so that everybody looked at her. My god her ass is terrific. I'm surprised too; you usually wouldn't... read more

Jason Collins Is Happy to Be Gay

Okay, unlike my childish nincompoopish thoughts on Harry Potter, Wizards center Jason Collins really actually is gay. He came out officially today, maybe waiting for the shock of the Lakers taking it in the ass from San Antonio before dropping his own gay bombshell (that... read more

Kelly Osbourne In A Bikini

Shit, I wish Kelly Osbourne would stop making me feel bad for her. Between the seizures and the addictions and her parents and her tragic desire to fit in with hot actresses and models, I almost found myself getting her a sympathy card at the local CVS. But the irony of... read more

Erykah Badu Goes Billy Jack at the Beach

Erykah Badu is kind of creepy. Like if you say her name five times in the mirror she'll come and slaughter you. But covering herself in henna tattoos and donning the guise of Billy Jack at the beach, Erykah seems far less threatening. Less like she's going to slice you... read more

Lena Dunham Should Maybe Not Wear Yoga Pants

Wearing really tight yoga pants is a not a right it's a privilege. Lena Dunham, the dumpy Girls star was seen on the set of her shitty hipster TV show wearing the inexplicable outfit of a leather jacket, ratty t-shirt, old sneakers, and a pair of yoga pants at least two... read more

Julianne Hough and Nina Dobrev Pull a Hair Braiding Train

The most annoying thing about virgins is that they just won't shut up about it. Except for my sad sack friend Dave who hadn't lost his into his early 20's. He was very quiet about it. Until he got laid, then he was manic like a kid on cotton candy who just rode the... read more

Kris Jenner, Master Pimp

Say what you will about Kris Jenner (unctuous, conniving, sinister, devious, cunty, underhanded, cheating, lying, scheming, amoral, exploitative, if you need examples), but she's turned the Von Trappy family, minus the singing talent or inherent rooting interest, into a... read more

Ashton Kutcher Went Full Redneck

While most of young Hollywood was still popping morning after pills from the VIP orgies at Coachella, Ashton Kutcher attended the Stagecoach Music Festival over the weekend, because country music is the new trucker hat. Kutcher (seen above with the NFL's on-call pregame... read more

Victoria's Secret Says Kylie Bisutti Is Full Of Shit

Kylie Bisutti claims in her new book that she gave up her brief modeling career because she hated feeling like a piece of meat, citing numerous examples of how she had to strip down to her underwear for photo shoots. Of course, she knowingly and willingly entered a ... read more

Daniel Radcliffe Will Fuck 1,000 Men If That's What It Takes to Be Not Gay

Daniel Radcliffe's infamous gay sex scene movie, Kill Your Darlings, finally has a release date this October. It created quite the stir at Sundance, raising 'Harry Potter is gay' rumors all over again. But Daniel Radcliffe wants you to know that despite his effeminate... read more

Amanda Knox Is Proud Of Her One Night Stands

It's probably important to mention that Amanda Knox spent four years in prison after she was convicted for her role in killing a British student named Meredith Kercher while the two were roommates in Italy, and Knox is currently awaiting a re-trial after her initial... read more