the definitive Alex Rodriguez picture

By brendon January 10, 2012 @ 2:02 PM

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The reason people think Alex Rodriguez is gay because he does things like spend the day working on his tan with his manly looking girlfriend and a little dog with a pink bow in it’s hair.

There’s no follow up point to this by the way, I’m just explaining why people think Alex Rodriguez is gay.

(image source = splash)

Oprah gives terrible baby presents

By brendon January 10, 2012 @ 1:03 PM

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Oprah Winfrey has sent a gift to Beyonce and Jay Z for their new baby girl; a trunk full of children’s books. In other words, a giant ugly black thing filled with simple messages from someone who isn’t actually good at anything but wants lots of money anyway. It’ll be just like having the real Oprah right there in the room!

Yvonne Strahovski is the new Sobe bodypaint girl

By brendon January 09, 2012 @ 3:27 PM

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Two years ago, Sobe tricked Ashley Greene into posing for pictures naked except for some paint, which is not the same thing as clothes at all, in any way. And it was great. Things took a step backwards with a new model last year, but in 2012 Sobe has come back strong with ‘Chuck’ star Yvonne Strahovski.

Thank God models are dumb and don’t understand how paint works. Just because you paint it where clothes go doesn’t make it clothes. If Wile E. Coyote painted a black arch “tunnel’ on a big rock, models would run straight into it at top speed.

Corey Feldman to name 2 celebrities that molested him

By brendon January 09, 2012 @ 1:26 PM

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Corey Feldman tells the Sun he’ll write a book that names two Hollywood celebrities that molested him as a child, though it’s not clear in this article if these will be two new names or if one is Michael Jackson.

Either way, yeah, we get it Feldman. You were a very cute kid and people wanted to fuck you. You don’t have to brag. If you were trying to make me feel bad because I was chunky and no one wanted to have sex with me, well then mission accomplished.

Leann Rimes trolling the mens room to steal a baby

By brendon January 09, 2012 @ 12:54 PM

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Leann Rimes was holding someones baby outside a mens room on the beach in Hawaii yesterday, which would be cute except that she’s already stolen one family. So let’s go ahead and label number 6 as that babies last known photo.

(image source = fame and bauer griffin)

Maria Shriver was (maybe) wearing her wedding ring

By brendon January 09, 2012 @ 11:47 AM

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Maria Shriver is always saying she loves kids, but then Arnold Schwarzenegger went and had one with the housekeeper and suddenly she changed her mind. Typical woman. But this weekend she was wearing a ring that is reportedly her wedding ring, just like Arnold was last week, so maybe this means she’s ready to take him back. And she should. He’s suffered more than enough. It’s not like she’s some treat.

(image source = pacific coast)

Princess Leia has still got it

By brendon January 09, 2012 @ 10:05 AM

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Carrie Fisher was courtside for a Lakers game at Staples last night, and she might actually look ok for her age (55) if she hadn’t smeared more blue on her face than William Wallace and put her lipstick on with less care than someone writing I LOVE COCK on a drunk friends forehead.

(image source = splash)

Beyonce had a little girl, named her Blue Ivy

By brendon January 09, 2012 @ 9:12 AM

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Beyonce didn’t look like she was 2 days away from giving birth when these pictures were taken Thursday (ahem) but apparently she was, because she and Jay Z had a baby girl Saturday night that they named Blue Ivy. Which is no dumber than any other celebrity name as long as she doesn’t ever date a guy named Ivy.

(source = inf and e!)