Shia LaBeouf Says He's Sorry For Stealing... In the Sky

You ever noticed how people who feel no remorse for doing shitty things tend to go way overboard in apologies? Like abusive boyfriends breaking down in tears with flowers in their hands and poetry in their hearts to mend a few cuts and bruises. Shia LaBeouf took to the... read more

Katie Holmes in a Bikini Top Monitoring Suri

Being Suri's caretaker can be no simple task. Like the drastically underpaid job of Mrs. Blaylock ensuring that Damien is not hindered in his devilish prophecy. Somebody needs to cater to her every whim and want lest she unleash a freak hailstorm in Miami or cause soccer... read more

Kate Mara In Her Bra For The February 2014 Issue Of GQ UK Magazine

Photo Credit: GQ UK [gallery ids="1705472,1705492,1705482,1705502"] read more

Ellie Goulding Poses Braless In The February 2014 Issue Of Marie Claire UK Magazine

Photo Credit: Marie Claire UK Magazine [gallery ids="1705362,1705372,1705382,1705392,1705402,1705412,1705422"] read more

Miley Cyrus Ruined Ryan Seacrest's New Year

If you missed Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve on ABC on Tuesday night, you're pretty fucking lucky, because Ryan Seacrest's shitshow of celebrities pretending like they give a crap about normal people was pretty terrible. However, the best part of it was probably... read more

Maci Bookout In A Blue Bikini Top On The Beach In Miami

Photo Credit: PCN, Fameflynet [gallery ids="1704902,1704912,1704922,1704932,1704942,1704952,1704962,1704972,1704982,1704992"] read more

Paris Hilton Pressed Play On Her Laptop For New Year's Eve

Because people are stupid, Paris Hilton was greeted by a bunch of her fans when she arrived at the Hyde Bellagio on Tuesday night to continue to pretend that she's a DJ for a New Year's Eve party. It's absolutely amazing that Paris is reportedly one of the highest paid... read more

Kardashian Baby Raises the Whorecrux for New Year's

Kardashian hustler training begins early for the girls. The feel of precious stones in the palm of the hand during the infant years, the ability to determine the true pre-tax income of a suitor from just the taste of his bodily fluids, and, naturally, vomiting to keep... read more

Sean Penn Now Getting Into Charlize Theron

Guess what, bub. Life isn't fair. 2013, the year before, the coming year, makes no difference. Sean Penn gets to bang Scarlett Johansson, now Charlize Theron. Next he'll travel back to the 70's and nail pre-ass cancer Farrah and scale Mount Olympus with his HGH popping... read more

Chelsea Handler Is Wounded And Bare-Assed and Ready for a Promotion

Classic sign that Chelsea Handler is looking for a better gig or a new boyfriend, or a new boyfriend who can ger her a better gig. Leg in a cast rendering her unable to flee. Bare ass out on the hotel room bed. If you're a V.P. or above at a studio or network, lay feast... read more

Jill Martin In A Green Bikini

It'd be easy for New York Knicks fans to dwell on being the most fucked up franchise in basketball, while completing missing the big yabbos on sideline reporter Jill Martin. Some years you win, some you lose. Or maybe you haven't won in forty years. The point is, Jill... read more

Dwyane Wade Had a Baby When Nobody Was Looking

Dwyane Wade is the master of the misdirection. When everybody was paying attention to his crazy ex-wife and Wade popping the question and ring to Gabrielle Union just last week, he went off and made a baby with some third chick named Aja who already has two kids by Damon... read more