Tag Heuer Paid Cameron Diaz To Put Watches Next to Her Face

By author March 15, 2012 @ 3:30 PM

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Bravo, money well spent.

Further proof of why Cameron Diaz shouldn’t be modeling anything but ski masks.

(Image Source = Getty, INFDaily, Splash News)

It Costs Jennifer Aniston 141K a Year to Look This Good

By author March 15, 2012 @ 2:30 PM

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According to a website called Shine via New York Post, it costs a shit-ton of cash to still not compare to Angelina Jolie:

Jennifer Aniston was recently dubbed the “Hottest Woman of All Time” by Men’s Health magazine but, according to a new report, the “Wanderlust” spends $141, 037 a year maintaining her appearance.

Sure you could say the math in that article doesn’t in any way add up to $141,000, or even that I deliberately picked shots of her not looking her best. And you would be right on both accounts, but how is any of that is ever going make Brad Pitt forget that her vagina is a dusty chamber of sadness from which only Gerard Butler and he have escaped only to be driven directly to that succubus whore?

(Image Source = Getty, Pacific Coast News)

Selena Gomez & Vanessa Hudgens Are in Bikinis Part 2

By author March 15, 2012 @ 1:00 PM

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I noticed in yesterday’s ‘Spring Breakers’ post that I forgot to mention that Ashley Benson is also in this movie. But it seems that even the paparazzi don’t care about her because she’s literally in five of these shots. Only one of which shows anything but her face, which by the look of these production candids will have little to do with the plot of this movie. ‘What if they decide to rob the bank wearing bikinis?!’ is almost definitely something that was said during a table read.

(Image Source = INFDaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News)

Ice Cube Knows What’s Really Going on Here

By author March 15, 2012 @ 12:00 PM

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Channing Tatum may be the worst actor of all time, but he somehow managed to talk his way into Jenna Dewan’s arms and more importantly, vagina. So the guy deserves a modicum of credit. That is, until he basically got outed by Ice Cube who costars with Channing and Jonah Hill in ’21 Jump Street.’ via People:

White men love bro-mances, man,” costar Ice Cube says with a laugh. “They are very into it. God bless ‘em. Hopefully they’ll be happy together.

Wow. It’s one thing for Ice Cube to insinuate that these two are about to embark on a homosexual life union (which they are, without question), but to toss out a stereotype about all white men based on one quite obviously gay relationship is taking it a little far, no? It wouldn’t be fair if I said all black people love Tyler Perry movies just because all of you love them. That’s racism.

(Image Source = Getty, Splash News)

Cissy Houston Doesn’t Believe in True Love

By author March 15, 2012 @ 11:00 AM

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Yesterday we learned that Nick Gordon went on Twitter to publicly announce that he’s banging Bobbi Kristina, daughter of the late Whitney Houston, who also happened to be Nick’s “adoptive mother” for all intents and purposes. He then denied it exclusively to ABCNews, a move that doesn’t at all sound like someone’s shopping a story around and/or isn’t a colossal lie as proven by this video.

Now their public grab-ass session has not only confirmed any speculation about their relationship, but also royally pissed off Cissy Houston, Whitney’s mom. And with good reason. Whitney cashed in her future on some rock and a waste of life partner. Bobbi’s already got the former covered and looks to be humpin’ around on her brother. See what I did there? They’re siblings who fuck.

(Image Source = Splash News)

I Found Brendon!

By author March 15, 2012 @ 10:00 AM

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Wait. Nevermind. It’s just Kellan Lutz.

(Image Source = Splash News)

Selena Gomez & Vanessa Hudgens Are in Bikinis

By author March 14, 2012 @ 4:30 PM

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Movie studios are awful places where they greenlight movies like the above, ‘Spring Breakers,’ which IMDB says has something to do with college girls turning to armed robbery for something or another. Knowing that anybody under the age of 15 will go see this shit in the theater because it stars Disney kids and creepy men will go see it because it stars Disney kids in bikinis, what we have here is the perfect storm for the internet, which also caters almost exclusively to both groups.

(Image Source = Pacific Coast News)

Whitney Houston’s Adopted Son is Nailing Her Daughter

By author March 14, 2012 @ 3:30 PM

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Turns out the greatest love of all is between sibling lovers. Well, I should qualify that by saying right off the bat that there’s no blood relation between Bobbi Kristina Brown and Whitney Houston’s “adopted” son, Nick Gordon, so really there’s nothing gross about them having grown up as siblings and now as adults deciding to have sex. Thankfully, Nick took to Twitter to confirm the relationship, via People:

Yea we got a little closer and what!!!… All the haters that dont know us or th real story can’t un follow me. I don’t give a f–k,” he tweeted. “I’ve proved my loyalty to her and the Houston family. I don’t owe any of you anything. Ha I don’t even know y’all haters….Some ppl have no lives so they gotta be in ours,” he said

If by haters, he means people who don’t particularly want to fuck their sister, adopted or otherwise, then I’ll gladly be lumped into that category. You can also put me down for “having no life” because I happen to think it’s interesting and worth talking about when someone decides to reward a celebrity’s kindness by sticking their dick in their only child and posting about it on Twitter. Ma will be so proud, I joined two clubs today! (Also, I didn’t try to bang her daughter. Can’t stress that enough.)

(Image Source = Nick Gordon’s Twitter, Splash News)