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Megan Fox Divorcing

August 19, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

After eleven years of dating, five years of marriage and two little kids with that skinny dude from 90210, Megan Fox is cutting her husband loose. Nobody ever fully understood why a world class sexpot was hooked up with... READ MORE

Kylie Jenner And Kourtney Kardashian Tit Showdown

August 19, 2015 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

These Jenner girls are going to outdo their hag half-sisters by some multiples of stupid money. They’re not infected with Dead Bob genetics, instead they got the lineage of a gold medal father who makes a half-decent looking old... READ MORE

Viagra For Sober Women

August 19, 2015 | WTF | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Some pharmaceutical company I’d invest heavily in four weeks ago is launching the first ever prescription drug treatment for women who aren’t horny enough to want sex. It’s being called the little pink pill, because Viagra is the blue pill and that... READ MORE

Hackers Name Every Marriage Cheater in Canada and the More Important U.S.

August 19, 2015 | WTF | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Anonymous hackers followed through on their threat to expose the private information of Ashley Madison subscribers by posting thirty million plus customer records onto the web via the Tor browser which allows for anonymous web surfing in the same manner... READ MORE

Amber Rose Catfish Bait

August 19, 2015 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Some weird Russians as opposed to the normal genial barbecuing types you see in the movies used Amber Rose to bait desperate third world whores into a prostitution ring. Rose had no idea, but they could have just asked... READ MORE

Super Hot Chick And Dork Bad Role Models

August 19, 2015 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

This dude named Aric Keck is a 51 year old fanny pack toting choad with a smoking hot 26 year old girlfriend. He invests. You’re saying women aren’t shallow or people are inherently opportunistic? Same thing. It’s just harder... READ MORE

Jared To Plead Guilty

August 19, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Formerly fat Subway spokesman Jared Fogle is set to take a plea deal for possessing child porn on his computer and paying to have sex with a minor. Two things you’re not supposed to do, even if slightly less... READ MORE

Jesus Christ Gets Hitched

August 19, 2015 | WTF | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

38 year old Jessica Hayes from Fuck Yourself Indiana married Jesus Christ in a ridiculous spectacle called becoming a Consecrated Virgin. The 48 dudes she’d blown prior rolled their eyes from the Sonic drive thru. This raises more than a few... READ MORE

Trump Takes on Facebook

August 18, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Donald Trump takes on the big names. Occasionally, illegal immigrant ice cream cart vendors and masa kneading abuelitas, but at times, direct for the gullet of the rich and powerful in his own class. Trump’s latest Tourette’s like outburst was targeted... READ MORE

Madonna Needs To Stop And Shit Around The Web

August 18, 2015 | crap around the web | editor| 0 Comments

The cops were called for a noise complaint during desiccated crone Madonna’s 57th birthday party in the Hamptons. It was the deafening noise of someone trying to hold on to her youth that alerted the authorities. You are trying... READ MORE

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