Scarlett Johansson is a brunette now

By brendon October 24, 2011 @ 5:56 PM

spl3287

If you’ve always liked Scarlett Johansson, but wish she looked more like a single mom you could pick up at a truck stop… ta-da!

(image source of Scarlet filming ‘Under the Skin’ in Glasgow today = splash)

Madonna is a mean bitch, part 2

By brendon October 24, 2011 @ 5:20 PM

13010

It would be easy to say that Lady Gaga does little else than rip off what Madonna used to do, and it would be easy to say that because it’s true. Nonetheless, Gaga has never been anything but reverent toward Madonna and will tell anyone who listens that shes her idol.

Madonna however can’t stand anyone else getting any attention ever, so at the premiere of Madonas directorial debut last night (where she was boo’d by the way) someone in the crowd yelled “Who needs Lady Gaga? To which Madonna cuntily replied, ”Lady who?” (video here)

Anyway, these pictures are her on the red carpet for the premiere, and I love how she spends most of the time trying to hide her old-lady hands. Haha, sorry jackass but we all know what you’re doing. Or should I say, sorry ma’am, maybe a hot bowl of soup will bring some color to those cheeks.

Madonnas brother is homeless

By brendon October 24, 2011 @ 3:14 PM

fp_8066191_big_madonna_heathrow

Considering she couldn’t even be bothered to build that school for kids in Africa that she promised, you might be wondering if Madonna is a mean, cold hearted, selfish bitch. Well wonder no more, because yes, she is.

Madonna’s older brother, Anthony Ciccone, says he’s living homeless in Michigan after his family “turned their back” on him.  
Ciccone tells the Michigan Messenger he’s been living on the streets of Traverse City after losing his job at his father’s winery more than a year ago. “My family turned their back on me, basically, when I was having a hard time,” Ciccone said. “You think I haven’t answered this kind of question a bazillion times – why my sister is a multibazillionaire, and I’m homeless on the street? Never say never. This could happen to anybody.”

Speaking of Madonna, she and her sexy hands were at Heathrow airport in London this morning. With any luck this will be followed by one of those stories where a celebrity is a pain in the ass and gets throw off a plane. Even better if the plane is in mid air when they do it.

(image source = bauer griffin)

Melissa Gorga is in a fat suit

By brendon October 24, 2011 @ 2:43 PM

infphoto_1920

Melissa Gorga of “Real Housewives of New Jersey” and Entertainmnet Tonight met at the halloween store today and got her a fat suit, then filmed her walking around Times Square. I guess it was some kind of social experiment. To see what happens when people say, hey, look, there’s a camera crew filming Rikki Lake and/or someone in a fat suit. Or maybe to see how many black guys would ask her out.

(image source = inf)

Darrell Hammond knows how to party

By brendon October 24, 2011 @ 1:15 PM

screen_shot_2011-09-27_at_258_27_pm__455_299_s

Darrell Hammond is writing a new biography about his days at Saturday Night Live and says he was routinely drunk, high on coke or crack and was once taken away in a straightjacket. Holy shit, who knew this guy was so interesting.

“I kept a pint of Remy in my desk at work,” Hammond recalls in “God, If You’re Not Up There, I’m F*cked,” out Nov. 8 from HarperCollins. “The drinking calmed my nerves and quieted the disturbing images that sprang into my head … when drinking didn’t work, I cut myself.”

To be clear, the disturbing images were due to his traumatic childhood, not from reading the shitty jokes SNL was asking him to read on television.

Page Six

Jessica Simpson is pregnant

By brendon October 24, 2011 @ 10:03 AM

111023nr1_simpson_j_b-gr_11-1

Jessica Simpson has yet to officially confirm that she’s pregnant, but she was at LAX yesterday in a bodysuit and it seems safe to say she’s officially pregnant. And considering she went to the Chilis inside the airport yesterday, she’s clearly already said fuck it. It will be great to watch how fat she gets. I bet the answer is, “very.” By January she’ll need a jet pack just to get off the toilet.

(source = bauer griffin)

Olivia Wilde is attractive

By brendon October 21, 2011 @ 5:58 PM

spl3258

Olivia Wilde wore this sexy backless dress at the LA premiere of “In Time” last night in LA, and yeah, you read that headline right. I said she’s attractive. It’s bold, contrarian opinions like this that have made Tyler the website that all of Americas is talking about.

(image source = splash)

Kim Kardashian understands relationships

By brendon October 21, 2011 @ 4:17 PM

kardashians_2_wenn

If there’s one thing Kim Kardashian knows about relationships, it’s that getting married will make all your problems disappear like magic, practically overnight. As a friend told Star about the problems between her and her brand new husband Kris Humphries…

“Her friends saw the red flags early on in their relationship, but Kim thought that when they were married all their problems would disappear. Kim is finally starting to see just how two-faced Kris really is. He plays up the loving husband act for the cameras, but in reality he’s moody and distant.”

Okay so its one thing if Kim really was this naive and/or dumb about relationships, but that still doesn’t explain why she and her sister are dressed like they were just guests on Johnny Carson.

(image source = wenn)