Lindsay Lohan could get one year in jail

By brendon October 17, 2011 @ 12:02 PM

Lindsay Lohan has to go to court Wednesday for a progress report on her probation, which should be awesome considering she hasn’t done shit. And since “hasn’t done shit” is a clear violation of the judges orders, TMZ says she could get over a year in jail.

Of course we’ve heard this a hundred times before, and nothing ever seems to happen to her. The .gif of LeSean McCoy punching Andy Reid in his fat stomach yesterday is here to illustrate that (slow motion version over on deadspin). Andy Reid is all of us in this scenario, and LeSean McCoy is Justice. He’s supposed to be on our side but then he just sucker punches us in the stomach for no reason (*). Then again, fuck Andy Reid. This and a 2-4 record is what you get for giving the dog killer 100 million dollars. Reap what you sow, fat ass!

(*) to which Andy replied, “Don’t make me run, I’m full of chocolate!”

George Clooney and Stacy Keibler went out

By brendon October 17, 2011 @ 9:47 AM

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George Clooney and Stacy Keibler were at the Time Warner Center in New York City over the weekend, so I guess they’re still dating. This would be a really good ad for Touch of Gray.

(image source = splash)

Zachary Quinto is gay

By brendon October 17, 2011 @ 8:23 AM

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Zachary Quinto, who is mostly famous of course for playing Spock in the most recent ‘Star Trek’ movie, was doing an otherwise uneventful interview on topics ranging from his newest movie to Occupy Wall Street, when he casually confirmed the rumor that he’s gay. A rumor I didn’t even know existed. And yet now in hindsight he looks really gay in all his pictures. But good for him. People shouldn’t have to pretend to be something they’re not. Unless what they are is someone who hates me, in which case they should sugarcoat everything and pretend they like me. Confidence wise, I’m a very delicate place right now.

source = vulture

Donald Trump cheated with Stormy Daniels

By brendon October 14, 2011 @ 5:10 PM

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Though he’s adamantly denying it and she’s had no comment, the new issue of Life and Style says that Donald Trump cheated on his wife while she was pregnant with porn star Stormy Daniels (geaux tigers!). I have no idea if that’s true or not but I can understand if it was. Stormy is hot, and pregnant women are creepy. If you were trump what is there to even think about it.

Blake Lively is dating Ryan Reynolds, part 2

By brendon October 14, 2011 @ 4:23 PM

Us magazine confirms (and I’m using that word in the loosest possible sense) last weeks rumor that Blake Lively has moved on from her break-up with Leonardo DiCaprio and is now dating Ryan Reynolds. Who I always confuse with Chris Evans. They should have a duel and eliminate one of them because this shit is confusing.

(source = Us)

Charlies Angels got cancelled

By brendon October 14, 2011 @ 3:35 PM

ABC canceled ‘Charlies Angels’ today after just 4 episodes and… wait, does this maybe mean that Drew Barrymore is just some stoner dipshit and NOT a talented producer? Because that seems impossible to believe.

source = E online

a moving truck left Ashtons house

By brendon October 14, 2011 @ 12:36 PM

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O.

M.

G.

There were movers at Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moores house yesterday. Does this mean they’re separating for realz? Or did some clever bastard at Wetzel and Sons simply figure out how to get some free advertising? My heart is in my throat right now from all the suspense.

(source = bauer-griffin)

Alex Rodriguez really has a type

By brendon October 14, 2011 @ 10:56 AM

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So, to recap, Alex Rodriguez divorced his wife, who looked like this, to date Madonna, who looked like this, then Cameron Diaz, who looked like this. And now he dates this girl, a model named Ella Magers.

As a society, are we still pretending we don’t have any high profile gay athletes? How much more clear does Rodriguez need to make it? Anyone who dates Madonna clearly doesn’t like women. Sex with her would be like a challenge from Fear Factor.

(image source = inf)