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Rosie O’Donnell’s Daughter Is Missing

August 18, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Technically, when you’re seventeen and you take your purse and your dog and you head to Manhattan, you’re not missing so much as you are running away to meet a boy. But you can’t whip up a feverish rescue... READ MORE

Halle Berry Tits Signal Single

August 18, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Halle Berry has at least one more super good looking abusive future boyfriend or husband in her. She might keep making babies until she’s sixty-five if the science of super expensive unnecessary laboratory reproduction continues to evolve. She seems... READ MORE

Jessica Alba Doesn’t Like Being Lumped

August 18, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

In her interview in Allure magazine, Jessica Alba joined the group of female celebrities with thriving merchandising businesses trying not to be lumped into the group of female celebrities with thriving merchandising businesses because that’s sexist. Gwyneth Paltrow recently... READ MORE

Photographer Does Photographer Shit

August 18, 2015 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

It’s not like the only thing separating you taking shitty black and white photos for a living is a middle name and a v-neck sweater. Or maybe it is. Photographers used to have to check out exposure and deal with... READ MORE

Diddy Banished

August 18, 2015 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Sean Combs aka the gay guy on the down low guy you know from church is not allowed to attend practices anymore at his son’s UCLA football game or visit the G8 summit on his private jet like the... READ MORE

Emlie Hirsch Gets Off Easy

August 18, 2015 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Emile Hirsch will have to do 15 days in jail for trying to drunkenly choke out an under qualified film executive named Daniele Bernfeld who started greenlighting Rush Hour 9 right out of Montessori while eating latkas. He’s a... READ MORE

Monica Sims in a Bikini

August 18, 2015 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

This Playboy Playmate reminds me of every girl I never had sex with over the summer. The June solstice always kicks off with such promise. But what comes of your lofty dreams when you’re begging the deaf girl for a... READ MORE

Rose McGowan Nipples Tell No Tales

August 18, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Rose McGowan continues to protest the tight tank top roles she’s forced to play in B-moved by showing off her tits for the paparazzi in Beverly Hills. It’s a protest so subtle, that you have to fully commit to... READ MORE

Britney Spears Squats for the Children

August 17, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Nobody knows what the Teen Choice Awards are. Nobody cared after Britney Spears showed up and squatted like a Russian grandma taking an alley dump in 1911. You’d have to be a qualified doctor to name all the parts... READ MORE

Jessica Alba Makes My Wiener Happy And Shit Around The Web

August 17, 2015 | crap around the web | editor| 0 Comments

Jessica Alba is still friggin’ hot as shit. Sure, she’s a crappy actress but I don’t go to her movies to see her emote. I go to see her scantily clad. Check her out in a white bikini. (Drunken... READ MORE

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