By Jack May 09, 2013 @ 3:10 PM
Last night a classy lady named Filomena Tobias was photographed sticking her middle finger at Bulls’ player Joakim Noah at the Miami Heat game. It’s a funny picture, but just who is this crazy bitch? It seems that this winner likes to take mucho drugs and has been married four times. That’s not that insane, right? Oh, and she may have murdered her fourth husband Seth Tobias. She met the hedge fund manager in a sex party circle, which I’m going to choose to believe is like Eyes Wide Shut. She then became very angry at Seth because he kept doing coke, which I guess took blow out of her nose. She once jumped on him at a restaurant and sucked his nose to check for coke residue. You know, like you do to your significant other. Plus she says things like this in an IM exchange that was found after her husband’s death: “I HOPE YOU GET AIDS WIT ALL THE WHORES YOU FUK TOO”. Yeah, I know. I do that too.
You’d think that someone who may or may not have murdered someone would try and keep a low profile. But you can’t just keep your crazy in a can. There’s no lid for that. Noah’s lucky she didn’t have a gun.
Farrah Abraham is still keeping up the shtick that the tape was private and in an interview with Entertainment Tonight, she says she had no intention of selling it until James Deen broke the news. I don’t know why this bothers me, but it does.
Daily Mail- The reality star claims that she only thought about selling the video after Deen leaked news of its existence. She recently sold the video to Vivid Entertainment for $1.5 million, but says Deen did not receive a part of her profits. ‘No. I mean besides me hiring him,’ she told the show. ‘I was like “I’m paying you to shut your mouth, you’re signing the agreement” like that’s what it was to protect himself.
Wait, What? So you just paid a professional porn star to have sex with you? For no reason? That’s something I’d do, but I’m a pervert. You’re apparently a prude that just sits at home twiddling her thumbs, according to your twitter.
The one time you had sex just happened to be in perfect HD quality, with studio lighting? You don’t go from nothing to suddenly having someone film you shoving a dildo into your ass. I’ve seen her work and this chick most assuredly sniffs out dick like a basset hound. Hell, the only reason people know her is because her legs were easier to open than a swinging door in a saloon, so don’t squirt all over me and tell me it’s raining. I’ve seen your brown eye, Farrah, there shouldn’t be any lies between us.
By Lex May 09, 2013 @ 12:53 PM
Photo Credit: FameFlynet, INF, PCN, WENN
By Lex May 09, 2013 @ 12:48 PM
I’d be lying like most men if I didn’t say I took a turn or two at thoughts of Zoe Saldana ten feet tall and blue and nude after seeing Avatar seven times in 3D. I like exotic women and the idea of a woman with twice normal size breasts seems appealing. In reality, Zoe’s boobs are much smaller. She doesn’t even wear a bra much of the time. And she’s not even blue. The actual proximity of masturbation fantasies to reality continues to suck.
Photo Credit: Splash, WENN
By Lex May 09, 2013 @ 12:21 PM
In your face. In your damn face. How dare you call Kim fat when clearly, judging by this carefully manufactured and highly paid for US Weekly photo interview, she is merely an average girthed pregnant woman. She’s almost not big enough. In fact, she looks pretty skinny. Oh, shit, Kim Kardashian is a pregnant anorexic bulimic piss-chugging fame whore with psoriasis. Red alert, Kim’s public relations team. Red fucking alert.
By Lex May 09, 2013 @ 11:39 AM
Kimberly Garner is yet another girl climbing her way up the reality show ladder of fame. She’s on the show Made in Chelsea which is like the British version of all the crappy reality shows on E! here. Kimberly seems to be getting well known without fucking anybody on tape, so you have to give her some kind of merit badge or something. Though she should know the porn tape is a solid shortcut and I do own a used-in-good-condition Handycam.
Here’s Kimberly posing with fruit. She’s in a bikini, so if you like hot girls in bikinis or just fresh produce, this is for you.
Photo Credit: Matthew Payne/Kimberley London
By Travis May 09, 2013 @ 11:00 AM
For all of the stories and photos that came out of Monday night’s Met Gala in New York City, I’m not even sure what the hell actually happened at that event, other than desperate women played dress-up, Kanye West rapped to his couch and Sarah Jessica Parker terrified children. And now we can add to that list that Tiger Woods apparently got really fucking hammered.
According to the Daily Mail, Tiger had a hard time keeping his hands off of his girlfriend Lindsey Vonn before he hit the dance floor with Tyson Beckford at the rooftop post-party. Tiger and Lindsey eventually left after Tiger reportedly fell while walking up some stairs. I’m not sure how the argument went during the drive home, but I imagine Lindsey said something like, “You really embarrassed me in there” to which Tiger whipped out their latest bank statements and she added, “I love you, Tiger.”
(Photo Credit: Getty)