Kanye West Finally Proposed To Kim Kardashian

Kim Kardashian celebrated her 33rd birthday yesterday just like any of us would, as she attended a party thrown in her honor at AT&T Park in San Francisco, which had been completely rented out by her boyfriend Kanye West for the evening. Kanye actually started the... read more

Jets Fans Don't Know What to Do With Success (VIDEO)

Jets fans absolutely do not know how to handle good times. They bitch and complain about losing, but they win a big rivalry game and suddenly it's time to start cold cocking women in the grill. What happened to a good 'We're #1 chant' or 'J-E-T-S Jets'. Take a lesson... read more

John Mayer Getting Closer to Maybe Marrying Katy Perry

Katy Perry couldn't figure out a better way to stick it to her Evangelical huckster parents than getting shit-faced in London, showing off her boobs, and telling the world she's getting ready to marry a Jew. Her folks are going to demand at least $10K in indulgences... read more

Paris Hilton Doesn't Want To Be Seen Simply As an Awesome DJ

I think DaVinci ran into this same problem. Am I a painter, a sculptor, an architect, a weapons designer? Same too now for the modern Renaissance woman, Paris Hilton. No, not a coke snorter and boutique shopper and lazy-eyed frenzied hummer giver. According to Paris... read more

Disturbed Man Gets $100K In Plastic Surgery To Look Like Bieber

An incredibly disturbed man has gotten over $100,000 worth of plastic surgeries over the last five years so he can look more like Justin Bieber. Toby Sheldon is an aspiring singer and songwriter who apparently thinks that Justin Bieber is the greatest fucking musician in... read more

Kanye Meets With Jesus in Seattle (VIDEO)

If you had Kanye and Seattle for who and where the Christian Messiah would make his reappearance, you win a copy of the Yeezus album and a blow job from Kim Kardashian, or two copies of the album if you prefer. Kanye's been getting ever heavier into his Jesus complex,... read more

Courtney Stodden Got New Lips

Courtney Stodden is running out of things to make bigger on her body. She just went for the lips. Ankles and ears seem out of the question, brain seems undoable, so look for a clit the size of Peter North's cock coming soon. You'll probably have to pay ten bucks to a... read more

Justin Bieber Brings A Chick Onstage In Puerto Rico

If I'm that chick in China who Bieber brought up on stage to cream her pants in front of one billion of her countrymen I'd be kind of pissed to see him pulling the exact same crap in Puerto Rico. His slender, female like appendages gingerly caressing another random chick... read more

Alyssa Arce Needs a Man

Alyssa Arce was the Playboy Playmate for July 2013, which means the palm flower crystal in her hand is already changing colors toward her inevitable march to the Carrousel, about age 25 for most Playmates. Between now and then she needs to find an older divorcee with... read more

Kylie Jenner Just Wants to Be Free

Kylie Jenner seems like the reluctant Kardashian. Yeah, she dropped out of school and is overdeveloped for her age and got a fancy ride for her sweet sixteen and she's getting loaded at nightclubs. The Kardashian standard pedigree. But she still strikes me as Herbie the... read more

Alex Rodriguez Is a Real Man of the People

The whole innocent until proven guilty meme is really meant for shaky murder cases and dudes who get slapped with sex offender charges for not wanting to stand in line at stadium urinals. But there are loyalist twits who will vociferously defend just about any accused.... read more

Kate Middleton Plays Volleyball

Kim Kardashian forced her baby out of her womb several weeks early to make sure her delivery news cycle did not get lost in the far more beloved Kate Middleton royal birth. This left Kim a full month head start to battle her fatty genetic destiny through Dunkin Donuts... read more