Miranda Kerr Wants To Sleep With Angelina Jolie

Ever since she was allegedly dumped by Victoria's Secret for being an expensive diva, Miranda Kerr has had to find other things to do with her time, including making Fox & Friends the most important talk show for the first time in its history. Before she made her... read more

Kesha Pleased as Punch She Drank Her Own Pee (VIDEO)

Without hyperbole, I can say, this is the single most inane interview in the entire history of celebrity interviews. I hate Kesha, I hate this interviewer, I hate MTV, and I hate every single twit in the audience with their stupid planted questions. But, if you can make... read more

Jennifer Love Hewitt Knocked Up by Actor From Her Show

I guess marriage is pretty much dead these days. Used to be when a girl got knocked up, somebody with a Sam Elliott voice spoke to the dude and said, buddy, time to step up and do the right thing. Now everybody has a 'partner'. Which I thought was reserved for gay people... read more

Kristin Cavallari In A Bikini

In the category of former hybrid reality stars who tricked second-tier NFL QBs's into a baby after they threatened to break up with them, Kristin Cavallari has a really nice ass. You'd be surprised, the category is pretty big. Here's Kristin in a bikini pretending she's... read more

After Earth Sucked, Now What?

When I turned fourteen, my dad got me a baseball glove. He said it was new, but it had the name 'Chet' written on the back of it in Magic Marker. I pointed that out to my dad at which point he grabbed the glove out of my hands, slapped it across my head, and screamed at... read more

I Can Almost See What Katherine Heigl Had for Dinner Last Night

Everybody talks about Katherine Heigl like she's some uptight, annoying, precious Hollywood actress. Nobody thinks about her as an uptight, annoying, precious Hollywood actress with a big white girl booty. A couple more outings in a dress like that and that'll all... read more

Run for the Border

Anybody who's ever worked QSR or any restaurant knows all kinds of nasty shit goes on in the kitchen. Maybe not your high end establishments with angry French chefs, but the places where 90% of us eat have food from kitchens with workers doing disgusting things behind... read more

Dakota Fanning Three Steps Closer to Invisible

Dakota Fanning is cute as a button, but just wait until she's lost all melanin in her skin and she goes completely invisible. She's going to fuck shit up. All those casting directors who touched her as a child? Dead. Mike Myers for ruining The Cat in the Hat? Killed in... read more

How Are You Not Watching Nicole Richie on AOL?

Don't let it be because you haven't had an AOL account since your last free trial disk ran out of hours in 1998. You are truly missing one special bit of Twitter inspired reality television programming. Like the latest episode: Nicole Richie visits her hairstylist Andy... read more

Victoria Silvstedt In A Bikini

I remember being a twelve year old boy caught by my mom staring at a large pair of hooters hanging out of a very low cut top on a nearby woman. She pulled me aside and told me, 'You know, not all women's breasts look like that." So I cried. Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin... read more

Miguel's Leg Drop Might Have Caused Brain Damage

Since you're not 12 and you're not a girl, you might've missed the Billboard Music Awards and the epic moment when Miguel, who I have no idea who the fuck he is, leapt across a stage divide in a spectacular mid song leap. He came up a bit short and brought his rayon... read more

Paris Hilton Flashes Her Panties

Paris Hilton loves attention. Technically, she loves paid attention. As an experiment, when you see her, grab her ass cheek and give it a good squeeze. You'll get a beat down. Slide three $100 bills into her garter and give her ass a good squeeze and you'll get a girlish... read more