You Go, Boy

Chaz Bono dropped 60 pounds. I think this is something all chunky ladies should do. Sex change. Men don't store body fat like women. Turn that vag into a peen and easily shed some serious weight. You can always go back when you're at playing weight. And extend this out... read more

Kate Upton Will Try Acting Again

If Kate Upton aspires to be a serious actress someday, or, fuck it, even a decent one, she's off to a pretty bad start. Her debut was in the awful Tower Heist and she followed that up with the even worse The Three Stooges, but those were both roles that mostly required... read more

Amanda Bynes Hides in Plain Sight

Yes, that is Amanda Bynes under that scarf. You can call her nutso, but wearing a scarf dramatically improves her chances of being cast in a movie, not being spotted by the dealer show owes money, and getting laid. One scarf, countless benefits. So who's nuts now? Photo... read more

Britney Spears Has Come Full Circle

It's time to stop judging Britney Spears by the standards of a potentially sexy pop star and start judging her as a soccer mom you wouldn't throw out of bed. Even if she left crumbs and Fudgsicle stains. Photo Credit: FameFlynet, Bauer-Griffin [gallery id="6001"] read more

Auntie Maret Isn't Happy

Maret Tsarnaeva is the aunt of everyone's favorite murdering nutjobs, Dzhokhar and Tamerlan Tsarnaev. She lives in Toronto and has been...shall we say...outspoken in defense of her nephews. She claims, just like other conspiracy theorist nutjobs, that the boys were set... read more

Snoop Dogg Smokes Out the Howe Twins for 420

If you're like me, you too have a friend like Stoner Steve. Stoner Steve is the dude not content just to get a little high and watch Spaceballs. No, Stoner Steve has to endlessly loop a lecture about how hemp can save the world, how marijuana can cure constipation, and... read more

Courtney Love Belongs at Coachella

If the past couple weeks of Coachella have reminded us of anything it's that celebrities have a hard time fitting in with regular people. Even at Coachella, a real soft-serv version of an old school indie music festival, all these over-handled primadonnas simply can't... read more

Hipsters Are Full Of Shit

Let me tell you about a fucked up hipster bullshit parenting strategy called elimination communication. It's disgusting stench of modern age wisdom that I had the pleasure of witnessing over the weekend. Instead of putting diapers on your baby, you wait for them to... read more

Happy Earth Day! (VIDEO)

I'd like to call myself firmly in the middle on this whole environmental debate. I don't believe the end of the world predictions of the hairy angry folk who seem to get erotic pleasure out of predicting destruction. At the same time, I cry like a little girl child when... read more

Alessandra Ambrosio Shaving

Unless you've got the body hair of an un-lasered Bin Laden wife, men will still plow the shit out of you whether your legs are perfectly shaved or not. Chicks worry about silly things like that too much, dudes don't care about a little stubble as long as you put out like... read more

Kim Kardashian Admits to Being a Hypocrite

Kim Kardashian is valiantly eating her own words. This classy style icon admits that chiding her sister Kourtney about having out of wedlock babies with her fey unemployed boyfriend was a bit short-sighted given her own bastard rapper baby situation. For her part,... read more

Victoria Beckham Can't Smile

Victoria Beckham hasn't smiled in ten years. She hasn't shown so much as a single tooth in her mouth since her Spice Girls days. Even at her birthday over the weekend, Vicky couldn't force her lips asunder. She had to squelch her birthday candle by shaking her hair... read more