no one went to visit Lindsay Lohan in rehab

Everyone hates Lindsay Lohan of course, for a million perfectly valid reasons, and if you needed even more proof, INF Daily says that yesterday was the first day she was allowed to have visitors in rehab at the Betty Ford Center in Rancho Mirage, California, and the only person who showed up was her personal assistant. In other words, her employee. Who Lindsay gives money to so she'll hang out with her. What a freakin...read more

Britney Spears might be free to go all apeshit again

2008 was awesome. Not only was I was bangin this hot Asian chick with huge jugs, but Britney Spears had gone completely crazy. She shaved her head, flashed her kitty (NSFW), showed her boobs, got 5150'd, ate lots of cake, and made a bunch of dumb faces. It was a simpler time, before everyone started copying my hillbilly-Britney-inner-dialogue and ruining it for me, back when she could pull over on the side of the road...read more

Ashley Tisdale and her bikini are disapointing

Ashley Tisdale and her boyfriend, whose name I forgot to write down but who cares, were at Wet Republic in Vegas this weekend, and it was every bit as dull and unsatisfying as you might imagine. She's allegedly 25 but her bikini still hangs off her and bunches up in this creepy way. It's like watching a thirteen-year-old, except I dont have to alert management that I'm there and have them sign my paperwork. (source =...read more

"Ma'am can I get you a coat or something?"

Lady Gaga wore a dress made of fishnets and hair when she performed at The Oak Room in New York City two nights ago, even though no one in attendance appeared to be happy about any of it. (image source = splash news online)read more

That's Gisele Bundchen. That's not Tom Brady.

Gisele Bundchen certainly is a friendly lady. While her husband Tom Brady is back home in Boston preparing to play the Dolphins Monday night, she's in Paris having foreplay with some guy two guys. "Gawd dammit! I knew thaat spic whoor was ganna be a praablem," said every single Patriots fan when they heard the news.read more

Lea Michele is a covergirl

There's no point in denying it, ‘Glee' has taken over Hollywood. Which is good news for "Glee' star Lea Michele, because now she gets to do things like be on the cover of major magazines, something she would have never thought possible before the show. "I grew up in a community where what I looked like wasn't considered beautiful and then I worked on this show that proves it doesn't matter what you look like, that...read more

its Lindsay Lohan in rehab (guess which one is Lindsay)

Lindsay Lohan really is in rehab apparently, down in Rancho Mirage, California, at the renowned Betty Ford Center, and here are the very first pictures to prove it. As you can see, it's rehab Lindsay-style, meaning slutty clothes, coffee and cigarettes. Will this be the time Lindsay finally grows up and stops acting like a spoiled jackass? We'll just have to wait and see! (SPOILER ALERT: No.) (image source = inf daily...read more

Miley Cyrus is getting really slutty, part 2

Miley Cyrus is worth a ton of money, but she still constantly manages to look trashy, like she did last night on her way to Voyeur in Hollywood. The fact that she emerged from the trash, in this case literally, didn't help. If you were walking to a club in Hollywood on a date with your girlfriend, and she was dressed like this, you would absolutely get stopped by the cops. "So, uh, so this is your 'girlfriend', huh?"...read more

Ashley Greene knows how to dress

Adobe is pretty full of themselves considering their main product is Photoshop, which they charge 800 dollars for, and that's mostly used by people like me to investigate any possible celebrity camel toes and x-ray their shirts. That company needs to mellow the fuck out.read more

Whose heels were higher: Cameron Diaz or Tom Cruise?

I guess the Daily Mail was the first to point this out, but Cameron Diaz is 5'9" and Tom Cruise is 5'7". And earlier this week she wore 4 inch heels to the Japanese premiere of 'Knight and Day'. And yet... Give Cruise credit though, because the lifts in his shoes and the extra high soles are very subtle. I guess when you're short you have to do this kind of thing. I wouldn't know of course because I'm a rugged 6'5",...read more

Paris Hiltons boyfriend ran over a paparazzi

Let's just go through TMZs bullshit summary point by point... It all went down as paparazzi swarmed the car as Paris and Cy Waits left Boa in West Hollywood. The posse of paparazzi was all over the car, when suddenly Cy accelerated, knocking a photog down. Tragedy strikes without prejudice. One minute you could be standing in the street in front of a moving car at night flashing bright lights into the drivers...read more

Kate Gosselin needs a mirror, the internet

Kate Gosselin went jogging, or "yogging", it might be a soft "j", yesterday near her house in Pennsylvania or wherever the hell it is she lives, and it was a good reminder that we all need to know our limits in life. For example, when I was a kid I dreamed of being a dancer I mean, uh, um, football. Thrower. The main guy. Like Clayton Manning. Bottom line, I wasn't good enough. Kate Gosselin needs to look herself in...read more

Greg Giraldo has died

Greg Giraldo was such an uncommonly smart and funny comic, it was actually sort of depressing, in a "why can't I do that" sort of way. A graduate of Columbia University and Harvard Law, he was best known for his stand-up, as a judge on 'Last Comic Standing', and for the Comedy Central Roasts (and maybe this spoken word song from 2006 that got some decent time on radio). He died today after an overdose of prescription...read more

Tom Cruise is a pro

Tom Cruise is in Prague today for the first day of filming on ‘Mission Impossible 4', which is surprising because yesterday he was in Tokyo for the Japanese premiere of ‘Knight and Day'. That flight has to be, like, 200 miles (I'm not good with numbers). Even if they went 70 the whole way it had to take all night. Tom Cruise has his faults, he's crazy for example, but at least when you hire that guy you get a...read more

BREAKING NEWS: Lindsay would prefer rehab over jail

A few weeks ago, Lindsay Lohan had 90 days in rehab standing between her and freedom. "Fuck this," she said, and then promptly tricked the doctors into letting her go 68 days early. Then of course she did some more coke, and now rehab might be the only thing keeping her out of jail again. Hey you'll never guess who suddenly thinks they should stay in rehab for as long as it takes. A source (meaning her mom because...read more