Britney’s Ass Is Hanging At Around 6 O’Clock

By Lex September 10, 2013 @ 5:30 PM

Miley Cyrus may look like the poor-outcome rabbits they find behind the makeup product testing labs, but she’s at least hitting the gym to make sure her ass looks tight in all her tiny costumes. Britney, meh, not so much. Somebody’s got to shoot her full of PEDs and get her back in the game for another season or two. That conservatorship is going to end at some point and she needs to reload on crazy money.

Here’s Britney wardrobed up on the set of Work Bitch, her new music video. It’s got a great title, it just needs a put together butt and maybe and an accidental production death and I’m definitely watching.

Mila Kunis Looks Good in Canada

By Lex September 10, 2013 @ 5:01 PM

Mila Kunis Wears A Low Cut Dress To The "Third Person" Premiere At The Toronto International Film Festival

The Toronto International Film Festival has become pretty big over the years, despite the obvious handicap of being set in Toronto. If they held the TIFF in Aspen or Venice or Cannes, it’d be even bigger. But even given the limitations of being Canadian, it does pretty well for itself. Like hockey or pudgy girls who go all the way on first dates.

Here’s Mila Kunis in Toronto.  I’d let her be my girlfriend if she promised to never to tell sex with McCauley Caulkin stories.

Photo Credit: Getty,, FameFlynet

Gucci Mane Is Trying to Use Words To Say He Nailed Nicki Minaj

By Lex September 10, 2013 @ 3:21 PM

Nicki Minaj At The 2010 BET Awards In New York
For those who don’t follow the Southern rap scenes as closely as I absolutely don’t, Gucci Mane is a drug addled semi-literate rapper who was most recently arrested for smashing a champagne bottle over the head of a fan. But when any dude goes online and says, oh by the way, I nailed Nicki Minaj, and Monica, Keyshia Cole, Ciara, and Fantasia, you’ve got to pay a little attention. Or, at least, try to figure out what the hell he’s actually trying to say. See if you can interpret his Twitter-bonics:

Me and waka fuckk nikki minaj dats nothing. Nikki minaj can do a trick with her mouth ask waka?

Did I put nikki n 50 dollar room then let her move in. Then help her get an apartment im a fool 4 a bubble butt but I hate assshots fake ho.

When Nikki got wind of the accusations, if they are accusations, because these could actually be compliments and I’d have no fucking way to know that, Nikki made some references to Gucci Mane needing some help with a drug habit. Gucci Mane took unusual offense.

Tell. Her intervention my dick in her throat I moved dat bitch to atl. Bitch u sleepin n d car. Bitch I pulled dat bitch off wayne bus.

I guess Nicki took offense at Gucci’s sloppy grammar and decided to end the clash with a slick verse.

Career aint goin nowhere like horses in da stable/ bitch I’m in the mansion, flossin, clickin cable

After taking that rhyme in his busted up grill, Gucci Mane changed subjects and talked about wanting to nail Rihanna and T.I’s wife and some other shit that if it doesn’t find him dead by the end of the week, will only prove that this Gucci Mane character is the last ballsy guy in rap.

Photo Credit: Getty, WENN

Adrien Brody Is Straight, James Franco Wishes He Wasn’t

By Lex September 10, 2013 @ 1:49 PM

Adrien Brody And Girlfriend Lara Leito Dance With Belly Dancers In Istanbul
It’s odd to think that Adrien Brody might be the last bastion of heterosexuality in Hollywood. Who would’ve called that? But apparently he does like chicks, including his girlfriend and these belly dancers in Turkey. His career is probably fucked now that everybody knows he likes the pussy.

James Franco wants to keep working, so he came out today and basically apologized for not being gay.

“I don’t even care if people think I’m gay, so it was like, ‘Awesome!’ I mean, I wish I was … I wish I was gay.”  - James Franco to The Daily Beast

I wish James Franco were gay too. I was going to say I wished for world peace or an end to famine in plagued lands, but when I catch that next shooting star, I’m cosmically requesting that James Franco gets a happy mouth full of cock.  At least then he will shut the fuck up. Because it’s hard to talk with Adrien Brody’s junk in your gullet.

Photo Credit: WENN

DMX Streaks Through A Detroit Hotel

By Jack September 10, 2013 @ 12:51 PM

DMX surprised the staff at a hotel in Detroit by running naked through the hallways. It’s unclear why the rapper decided to let his dog out for the poor cleaning lady to see, other than the fact that he is baby eating crazy and super fucking high most of his waking hours. The best part of this security footage is how nonchalant the employees are trying to be. Then again, in Detroit they’ve probably seen far worse. We may never know why DMX chose to streak through the halls. His ways are mysterious and difficult for regular people like you and I to understand. Like that time he made a noir film with David Arquette then nobody ever heard from him ever again.

Lingerie Models Exposed in Interview Magazine

By Lex September 10, 2013 @ 12:24 PM

Behati Prinsloo Exposes Herself In The September 2013 Issue Of Interview Magazine
I’m not sure what possesses photographers to get some of the hottest women in the world to take their clothes off and then decide to turn down the lights way down. I’d crank those halogens like I was the king of illuminated porn shoots. When I turn down the lights it’s because I fear what a girl might look like without her clothes on, let alone the horror of catching my ghostly image in a mirror. But for girls whose lives are dedicated to the fine art of being really good looking, I’d run up the power bill.

I guess I’m less tasteful than the guy who shot Adam Levine’s girlfriend and a bunch of other Victoria’s Secret models topless for Interview magazine. See if you can figure out who everybody is. I can’t remember all their names. If you can identify them by their boobs, then kudos to you, my friend.

Photo Credit: Interview Magazine

Kanye West Disses Eskimo Brother Ray J

By Jack September 10, 2013 @ 11:29 AM

Kanye West hit back at Ray J in their continuing playground rivalry over who tagged Kim Kardashian first (well, first between the two of them, as neither of them were around when Kim was fourteen and first figuring out what it’d take to get a high school diploma the easy way). It all started when Ray J released a song called, (subtly), I Hit It First. referring to his having had carnal knowledge of Kimberly Kardashian’s soon to be expensive vagina before Kanye had the honor of doing so. Ray J also took Kim’s golden shower virginity and a girl only loses that once, twice if she works the Navy ports of call. So, Kanye dropped by Late Night with Jimmy Fallon and changed the lyrics to his song Bound 2 to the following:

“Brandy’s little sister lame and he know it now, when a real brother hold you down, you supposed to drown.”

He called Ray J Brandy’s little sister! Oh snap! Honestly, who gives a shit? What black athlete or rapper hasn’t fucked Kim Kardashian? The guy who played Urkel has probably hit that shit. The guy who stood-in for Urkel during camera blocking probably has experienced multiple orifice loving of the highest earning Kardashian. The only thing any of them are Bound 2 have is a a matching strain of HPV.

Nina Agdal Models Leonisa Lingerie

By Lex September 10, 2013 @ 11:20 AM

Nina Agdal Models Leonisa Lingerie

Photo Credit: Leonisa Lingerie