Miley Cyrus does so many things that would be cute if she were nine and you were an unemployed pharmacist trying to cancel out your dad relentlessly beating you because you couldn’t catch a pop up. Given she’s a 22 year... READ MORE

After being arrested for driving four times over the legal limit a little under two weeks ago, that one guy from that one song let’s throw shit at him West Scantlin was again issued a DUI, this time in South Dakota... READ MORE

I’m not watching a Republican Presidential Debate because a week of afternoon television for fat women has taught me to love myself more than that. I’ll boldly predict Donald Trump the winner over the other nine guys who you’d... READ MORE

If form followed function, this is how all ATM machines would be designed. Your balance would indicate your ability to access which slots. Don’t be that dick who spends ten minutes pushing lots of buttons while there’s a line... READ MORE

Rachel from that shitty Friends show, (AKA Jennifer Aniston), married her longtime boyfriend Justin Theroux in a secret wedding. And nary a fuck was given anywhere. Read all about her latest grab for relevance. (TMZ) Berit Birkeland shows off... READ MORE

Bad guys in movies are always threatening mopes with harm to their virginal daughters if they refuse to comply with various sinister demands. These villains have never studied Hammurabi. The punishment has to fit the crime. You make one... READ MORE

Lindsay Lohan started Gatling Gunning out topless photos of herself so her anorexic little sister wouldn’t hog all the New York media ink for booking her first modeling gig. Congratulations. You’re 21. Given that you’ve done nothing before this... READ MORE

Janay Rice did an interview for ESPN’s Outside the Lines because they ran out of people to exploit this week and there’s a revolving rolodex marked People Who Call Back. Janay repeatedly objected to Ray being called a “Wife beater”... READ MORE

Karlie Kloss, who possibly stole her name from the back of a Vivid Video, is putting her modeling career on hold to attend NYU although she’s not clear what to major in or how to hold a pencil. Kloss... READ MORE

It’s entirely possible the rumors Ben Affleck was porking the nanny, Christine Ouzounian, are false. In fact there is zero credible evidence to back it up. Except that she’s a hot Armenian chick in her late 20’s. If that’s... READ MORE