MILEY CYRUS - shut down her twitter account earlier this month, and now a girl who must be super popular in school is threatening to kill a cat AND FUCKING EAT IT if Miley doesn’t re-open it. The girl claims she lives in a country where this sort of thing is not illegal. “This sort of thing” of course meaning, “dangerous insanity”. (popcrunch)
LINDSAY LOHAN - is on the verge of death, this time according to her mom. Actually that should say, “according to her mom, according to her dad”. He says he has tapes of Dina Lohan admitting that Lindsays drug addiction will kill her sooner than later. I hope it’s sooner. This shit is really getting tedious. And I’m fit as a fiddle so what do I care? (ny daily news)
CURRENT SONG = the leak of the new 50 Cent track with Eminem. If I knew any black people, I would go, “Damn that shit is tight.” And then they would think I was real cool. (download it on mediafire)
CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM - is in trouble because of Sundays episode which featured Larry David accidentally getting urine on a picture of Jesus. “I don’t think it’s funny,” said InsideCatholic.com publisher Deal Hudson. I’m surprised Hudson feels this way. I would think a guy like that would love a good joke. I bet he just laughs all day long. (e online)
SOPHIE MONK - was caught by the paparazzi as she walked around in a slutty costume yesterday. When asked if she was on her way to a Halloween party, she said, “What’s Halloween?” (pacific coast)
When Taylor Swift was at Katy Perrys birthday paint party over the weekend, one picture showed some random guy behind her with a swastika on his shirt (here). It seemed likely this was some jackass and the fact that they were photographed together was just unfortunate timing for Taylor and her good girl image.
But now someone claiming to be the guy in the picture is on a message board (here) saying he’s Taylors new boyfriend, and he’s posting the picture you see above as some kind of proof
I judge people by the way they look (Asian girls are sexual deviants, black guys can get you weed, etc.) and this guy looks Jewish, so I’ve decided he’s Jewish and therefore is just some nerd who does stuff like this for attention. But why Taylor would pose for pictures with him is the real question. She’s supposed to be a force for good, and considering she looks like a walking recruitment poster for Nazi Youth and the Aryan ideal, it’s hard to believe she would smile and pose next to a swastika. I’m not gonna lie to you, I’ve seen better ideas.
CUTE COLLEGE GIRL - some of the girls on the “cute girl” page will have one or two good pictures but that’s about it. Nikki on the other hand gets hotter and hotter with every new picture. In fact I’m trying to find a state that will let me marry this one. (college humor)
MILEY CYRUS - has been named the Worst Celebrity Influence by teen girls in an AOL poll. In fact she ran away with it, taking 42 percent of the vote. Britney was second with 27 percent. Selena Gomez was named the Best Celebrity Influence, and in a related story, Selena had 5 new pedophile laws named after her this week. (nbc)
MICHAEL JACKSON - might haunt you from the grave because a picture taken of him during his autopsy may be made public soon. Although it seems hard to believe these will be any worse than every other picture taken of him since 2002. (pop eater)
STEPHANIE PRATT - was officially charged with her DUI today. 10 days ago she was arrested for a .09 BAL. The legal limit is .08. They’re being tough on her as part of the DAs plan to randomly enforce laws. This way makes it more exciting! (wonderwall)
ALESSANDRA AMBROSIO - changed bikinis from before. This new one is sort of a green color. You can be sure that Tyler will stay on top of this story and report new developments as they happen. Now back to you in the studio, Ken. (source = fame)
Alessandra Ambrosio is on St. Barths this week to shoot the new Victorias Secret catalog, and it’s hard to even comprehend how good looking she is. She’s so physically perfect I’m not sure I could even have sex with her. There’s certainly no way I would cum on her. She’s flawless, she shouldn’t be defiled like that. I would need to find a way for a rainbow to come out of my penis, or better yet a bouquet of flowers.
(source = fame pictures)
Many people feel that the reason Lindsay is a complete and total fuckup is because her mom has spent the last 20 years telling her she’s perfect and brilliant and the people who criticize her are just jealous because Lindsay is so amazing and gorgeous and talented. You may be wondering if Lindsay truly believes all that.
Oh hey look she got a new tattoo.
Hmm. Yes, yes of course. Lindsay just wants to shine like the star she is, but she can’t because of us. For some time now I’ve suspected we were doing that and finally here is the proof. This must be why Lindsay is spending so much time with Ali, to save her from us. A Wednesday night in a bar with some tequila and smores or whatever it is alcoholics and little kids can agree on for the table is just what she needs to keep her on the road to success.
(image source = pacific coast)
The Michael Jackson movie ‘This is It’ is getting really good reviews (80 percent on rotten tomatoes) but the big star of the movies LA premiere yesterday was Katy Perry and her tits. The movie of course is both a biography of Jackson and footage of him preparing for his big comeback show in London. I know what you’re thinking: “wow, a biography AND rehearsal footage of singing and dancing?!?!” I know right! It’s like they made this movie just for me!
(image source = flynet and getty and wenn)
