To be fair, maybe Lindsay Lohan didn’t sneak into last nights Weinstein Company party, because it seems Kim Kardashian and the Hilton sisters were also there. How prestigious! Suffice to say no one should touch anything in that room until it’s been boiled.
If you thought you could keep Lindsay Lohan out of your party simply by not inviting her, guess again, because she’ll sneak in whether you like it or not. On Wednesday she wore, I have no idea, a wetsuit maybe, to crash the Weinstein Company Golden Globes pre-party at Chateau Marmont.
An insider says Lohan snuck in via the hotel’s back entrance. She then “made her way to the entrance for photo ops.”
And there she was again at another Weinstein Golden Globes party last night. This time she got in simply by walking in front of a solid white wall, rendering her essentially invisible.
01.16.2012 Jessica Biel looked better at the parties
About 5 years ago, every actress in Hollywood vowed to stop wearing anything sexy or interesting to award shows, and if you watched the Golden Globes last night, you know it was no exception.
Jessica Biel, for example, looked awful on the show, but the night before at W magazines party for show, she looked terrific. This honeymoon phase between when Justin Timberlake swears he won’t cheat again and when Justin Timberlake starts cheating again has really given her a glow.
01.16.2012 Mark Wahlberg is an idiot
My favorite part of the Golden Globes last night was when Mark Wahlberg and Jessica Biel came out to present ‘Best Actor’, and Wahlberg was asked to read things. Which was funny because Mark Wahlberg is an idiot.
His first line, which the professional actor apparently couldn’t remember and had to read off the teleprompter, was, “And here is the impressive list of nominees.” Unfortunately, “impressed” is not an emotion in his acting arsenal. “Mumbling like a slow-witted doofus” is however, and so he did that instead.
Even better was when it was time to announce Jean Dujardin as the winner. Wahlberg opened the envelope, took a quick breath, began to speak… then saw the name, instantly gave up, and passed it off on Biel. It would have been so great to hear him say, “And the winner is Gene Duh-Jar-Din”. Especially if there were someone there actually named that. What a thrill it would have been for Gene and his family.
01.16.2012 its Ricky Gervais Golden Globes monologue
Ricky Gervais hosted the Golden Globes for the third time last night, and for once people probably won’t spend an entire week saying his monologue was too mean to all the big stars.
There was one joke about how he doesn’t know any guys who have seen Jodie Fosters ‘Beaver’, but that’s entirely her fault for naming her movie ‘the Beaver’. What the hell did she expect? Other than that his best line was probably about Kim Kardasian:
“The Golden Globes are to the Oscars what Kim Kardashian is to Kate Middleton. A bit louder, a bit trashier, a bit drunker and more easily bought.”
That’s actually more insulting to Kate Middleton than it is to Kim Kardashian. Kate and Kim shouldn’t be compared in any way. And if Kim Kardashian was an awards show it would the AVNs, if for no other reason than they both have a slot exclusively for black men.
01.16.2012 this was just a shadow
Jean Dujardin, who is often called the French George Clooney because people love saying idiotic shit like that, won Best Actor in a Musical or Comedy at the Golden Globes last night, and according to the internet when his wife (Alexandra Lamy) kissed him, her dress slipped down and you could see her nipple, live on NBC.
So naturally I made a .gif of it.
Unfortunately I’m pretty sure that’s just a shadow. I don’t mean to brag but I’ve seen several naked ladies in my time, and I know a nipple when I don’t see one.
01.13.2012 Katy Perry is patriotic, has awful fans
Katy Perry has kept a low profile ever since her divorce from Russell Brand was announced two weeks ago, and she’s even managed to avoid the paparazzi somehow, but last night one of her fans saw her in Santa Barbara and she was nice enough to take a picture with him. Which he immediately sold. Which lets everyone know where she is and what she looks like now. Awesome. She should probably check her clothes for any listening devices and GPS tags too.
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01.13.2012 PETA probably killed this rabbit
Olivia Munn was out promoting her new PETA billboard today, though this time without the little bunny in the ad with her. Probably because PETA already killed it and threw it in a dumpster. Do celebrities understand that these people are fucking crazy? These ads don’t even make any sense. I was against fur before, but now I want it on everything, I want nothing but fur, so Olivia Munn will have no choice but to go naked. It’s gonna be a rabbit apocalypse, all because PETA didn’t think their ad through.
01.13.2012 Kim Kardashian really knows how to dress
The one thing you always here about Kim Kardashian is that her ass is small and easy to miss. Thankfully she finally figured out a way to accentuate that a little bit.
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01.13.2012 Jamie Chung is adorable
Jamie Chung ran some errands in West Hollywood yesterday, wearing some nerdy glasses and a super short skirt, and the only way she could have looked any cuter was if she kissed a basset hound puppy or something. And so that’s what she did. Touché, Jamie.
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Until today, it was assumed that Jennifer Lopez was endorsing Fiat simply because she’s a greedy cunt, but new information reveals that her true motives may be much more sinsiter. *Dun-dun-dun…*
In an open letter to Lopez released on Thursday, the president for United Against Nuclear Iran (UANI) wrote: “By endorsing Fiat, you are serving as a spokesperson for a company that freely does business with Iran, a regime that is developing an illegal nuclear weapons program, financing and sponsoring terrorist groups including al-Qaeda, has killed American and NATO soldiers and is recognized as one of the world’s leading human rights violators.”
“(Fiat also) produces vehicles that are reportedly used by the Iranian regime as platforms to stage gruesome public executions.”
UANI does say they don’t believe Lopez actually supports al-Qaeda and Iran, but they need to open their eyes. Jennifer Lopez clearly hates America and wants our soldiers to be murdered. If nothing else we should have a SEAL team grab her and find out what she knows. I’m sure she’ll deny it at first (they’re trained to do that) but maybe a little torture will loosen her tongue. And if I’m wrong, hey, no harm done.
01.13.2012 its Wes Anderson at his Wes Andersonest
It’s been said that you could pull almost any still from a Wes Anderson movie and use it as a poster, because every image in every shot will be symmetrical and beautifully framed. And that’s clearly true for his next movie too, which, if he were being honest, he’d call, ‘An Anamorphic Wide-Angle Lens Shooting To-Camera Medium-Shots, part 6.’
