Today of course is Veterans Day in the US, where we honor the awesome killing power of the American military and the god like race of supermen who defend us. Our military is so advanced and our soldiers so superior that if our government wasn’t filled with such panicky little girls they could go to war with any country on Earth and it would be the equivalent of Zeus throwing lighting down on the trembling peasants below.
Most people in Hollywood look down on the military because they’re pussies who want you to believe problems can’t be solved by kicking the other persons ass. Rest assured that any guy who ever says that has witnessed first hand as violence solved quite a few problems, but maybe can’t see it that way because he was the problem. When someone says violence never solves anything, what they really mean is, “oh please god stop hitting me.”
Luckily AnnaLynne McCord does support the troops, and this morning in New York she hosted Cosmopolitan magazine and Maybelline’s “Kisses for the Troops”. AnnaLynne said…
“My sister was in the National Guard. I know what she went through, and what these guys go through. It’s amazing what they’re doing for our country every single day.”
I wish we had big parades today like the Russians used to where they showed off all their missiles and tanks and guns and stuff. Then other countries would know how badass we are. Unless you’re Darth Maul, an American soldier can kill you before you even have time to wonder what that splashing sound is (note: your intestines + the ground). They’ll kill you even if you are Darth Maul, but you could probably fight them off long enough to shit your pants, so I guess that’s something.
These tapes from Michael Lohan on Radar get less shocking by the day. Yesterdays was clearly just made up, and todays tells us things we already knew. Namely that Lindsay is a cutter. Tomorrows tape: Lindsay’s not a natural blond.
It was in November of 2006 that people started to ask about the mysterious scratches on Lindsays wrists and wondered why she was wrapped in bandages so often (last 4 pix below). It came up again last year, when pictures of her at a screening for ‘Ugly Betty’ showed clear scars across the inside of her forearm (first 4).
In 2006 her publicist said Lindsay had fallen in some bushes and that’s how she got scratched up. Some bushes apparently made of bunny rabbits and cotton except for one branch of rusty jagged steel about 4 feet high. Her mom however said…
In an explosive audio tape obtained exclusively by RadarOnline.com, Dina Lohan admits that Lindsay is cutting herself. Talking to Lindsay’s father Michael, Dina says at one point:” Her cutting herself and hurting herself? Yeah, it’s bad Michael, it’s bad.”
I don’t mean to make light of this because cutting is a serious problem. It’s a cry for help from the lonely. Believe me, I know. In fact if I don’t get a new girlfriend soon, I may have to call my ex after another one of my Christmas “accidents”.
Carrie Amstutz spent some time on the beach in Miami yesterday, and of course I don’t need to tell you who Carrie Astutz is. By that I mean I can’t tell you who she is. May God strike me down if I’m lying because I have never seen or heard of this woman in my life. According to Splash, she’s “from the E! tv series ‘Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami’”. I know what most of those words mean individually but when arranged in that order I have no idea what they’re trying to tell me. They might as well have said “king duck toast loves bath time.” But, whatever, she’s kind of hot and mostly naked, and it turns out that’s more than enough to get a girl mentioned on Tyler.
(image source = splash news online)
Jennifer Garner went to dinner at Madeo in Beverly Hills last night with Jessica Biel. I think. I think that’s Jennifer Garner. It might not be. Because this person is acting as if they’ve never seen a camera before. It’s like when they first pulled back the curtain on King Kong. If I were those photographers, I would turn and run as fast as my legs would carry me, because she is gonna grab the first living thing she can and kill it.
(source = fame and pacific coast)
Former, and by “former” I mean “thirteen years ago”, Playboy Playmate Shauna Sand wore one of her fancy outfits last night as she drove her daughter to have dinner with her dad, Shaunas ex husband Lorenzo Lamas.
Her daughter is handling this better than I am, but she’s been conditioned to it. I get an occasional (and merciful) break. If my nipples looked like I’d been branded, I would fight someone to the grave if they tried to take a picture of them, but she doesn’t seem to mind. Her scarring is insane, like her nipples were sewn on with leather string. If her nipple was a straight line it would look like a scarecrows mouth.
Mariah Carey looked like hell just last week on the beach in Malibu (here), yet last night on her way to do Letterman, she looked sort of terrific. I guess it’s just the push-up bra. Or maybe it’s because she looks so happy. Either way she’s smiling and looks fantastic. Having the paparazzi dress up like giant cookies really paid off.
(source = fame)
