Scarlett Johansson has been named as Hollywood’s most natural beauty by a new survey of make-up artists. The 21 year old topped Kate Winslet and Catherine Zeta-Jones because of her “luminous skin and luscious pout” according to a poll of the National Association Of Screen Make-Up Artists And Hairdressers. Orlando Bloom was named as the man who looks the best in real life, followed by Jake

Charlize Theron is angry at reports that started over the weekend claiming she has broken up with longtime boyfriend Stuart Townsend. Theron insists they are still together and very happy. Rumors began when Theron was seen at recent awards ceremonies - including the Oscars, where she was nominated for Best Actress and took her mom as a date - but she insists that is simply because her Irish lover has been away working. Theron’s publicist released this statement:

“Stuart and Charlize have not broken up. Next week everyone will be calling me saying they were married. We can’t win.”

I wrote “lover” because IMDb wrote “lover”, which makes him sound like he sweeps her off her feet to his pirate ship while wind whips through his hair and he gently ties a velvet blindfold over eyes and feeds her strawberries, but that may not be the case. Because this guy seems like kind of a dullard. And she’s no catch either. I’m inclined to believe they are still together, because no one would claim to be with Stuart Townsend unless they absolutely had too.

These pictures are old, but I’m pretty lazy, so there you go.

The domination of ‘American Idol’ will grow even stronger starting tonight with the arrival of an hour long pre-show hosted by former finalist Kimberley Caldwell on the TV Guide channel. Whatever the hell that is. The show will feature contestants previously voted off and past ‘Idol’ favorites, plus exclusive footage from auditions, outtakes and post-performance confessions. And Thursday, the Fox Reality Channel will premier ‘American Idol Extra’, which is described as:

“(all) the backstage drama of what really happens after contestants are voted off.”

Ummm, OK, we get it, ‘American Idol’ is popular. Enough already. This show is like a tiger let loose on a campsite. And isn’t this all kind of pointless anyway, since it seems pretty clear that Katherine McPhee is going to win. Which is cool, because from what I hear, she’s

I’m unapologetically jingoistic, and obviously the French are despicable, but is Melissa Theuriau really that great. Seriously. Really? Obviously she’s cute for a newscaster, but Jesus, let’s not get carried away. People go insane over her. Her face seems a little pointy, like I could see myself drawing whiskers and a rat tail on her picture. Is she really any hotter than Jackie Guerrido on Univision or Eleonora Pedron from Italy, or even Heather Nauert on Fox. All she does is read a damn teleprompter, she’s just a model they taught to read. America could top this if we wanted too, we could put Diora Baird in a tight sweater behind a desk, and then do hard hitting stories about how to best suck a candy cane or this seasons hot new bikinis that flatter and flirt. But while we wait for that, Melissa went prancing around on one of the beaches over there. That’s her topless in the pics below.



In hindsight, I probably could have built this up a little better.



While not specifically mentioning the ‘Trapped in a Closet’ episode, in which Scientology was ridiculed, Isaac Hayes asked today to be released from his contract and no longer wishes to provide ‘South Park’ with the voice of Chef. Hayes has been a member of Scientology for 14 years, but was said to be bothered by a percieved “growing insensitivity toward personal spiritual beliefs” in the media, including the recent controversy over a Danish cartoon depiction of Mohammad. In a statement, Hayes said:

“There is a place in this world for satire, but there is a time when satire ends and intolerance and bigotry toward religious beliefs and others begins.”

A spokesmen for Trey Parker and Matt Stone, the creators of ‘South Park’, countered:

“Obviously, Matt and Trey are disappointed that he’s not going to be part of the show, but they’re not going to make him do something he doesn’t want to do

Rosario Dawson told the Sci Fi channel that ‘A Dame to Kill For’, the sequel to ‘Sin City’, is on hold because director Robert Rodriguez is determined to wait for Angelina Jolie to get through her pregnancy, and then hope she’ll take the title role. Dawson says:

“The film’s been kind of postponed because Robert has been interested in Angelina Jolie for the lead. But she’s very pregnant right now. So that’s putting an understandable hold on the film.”

I never bought any of the ‘Sin City’ comic books because I didn’t feel like being judged by the goth bitch behind the counter, so I have no idea if Jolie is the one and only perfect choice for this role. I do know that this would be the best thing to happen to nerds since masturbation. As good as Lord of the Rings was for them, and as good as masturbation is for them, this would bring their two passions together. So, you know, I wouldn’t go see it in a theater, if I were you.



GIS on the Dame, funly NSFW if your envisioning Jolie.