For some reason I watched this video of Lindsay Lohan being absolutely mauled by the paparazzi a hundred times, as she does stuff as fascinating as leave a tanning salon in the middle of the week. It’s easy to call her a drunken freckled mess - and fun too! - but it really would suck to be surrounded by these animals all day, every day, everywhere you go. This is why I’ve rejected a life of fame and glamour. I only care about the dolphins. And the children. And sit-ups. Call me, ladies!



You have to go to TMZ to watch the video. I stared at the source code for 30 minutes trying to rip it but couldn’t for the life of me figure out how. Reader Peanut is a genuis. Watch the video here.

And, you’re probably wondering what Peter Griffin thinks about all this Lindsay Lohan talk. Funny you should ask.



Paris Hilton was banned from the Vanity Fair Academy Awards party last Sunday after the mag trimmed the guest list to A-Listers only, so instead she went to Elton Johns Oscar party, always considered to be one of the nights best. The party is actually a fund raiser for the Elton John AIDS Foundation, with tickets costing 2500 dollars each. But, hey, guess who didn

The Vanity Fair cover story on Teri Hatcher, in which she reveals she was molested by her uncle for three years starting at age 5, says she was prompted to tell her story after secretly dating a famous Hollywood “Mystery Man” who left her “emotionally shattered” after dumping her. Today, Page Six claims the Mystery Man is George Clooney and the relationship that so completely devastated her was a brief fling they had in January.

… the unidentified star who bedded and dumped Hatcher left her so emotionally shattered that she could no longer keep from talking about her evil uncle. “The debacle with Mystery Man … made the parallels between her romantic failures and the legacy of her sexual abuse seem too obvious to ignore,” Vanity Fair’s Leslie Bennetts writes. Being “seduced and abandoned by a world-class Don Juan” left Hatcher “emotionally flayed, stripped of every protective covering until she [was] nothing but exposed nerve endings.”

It’s coincidence, but still pretty funny that Clooney has the same moves as a child molester. He’ll bang you, but then stress that you can’t tell anyone. “Lets just keep this our little secret.” But unless Clooney made her wear a jumper before sex, Hatcher seriously needs to calm down. What did she think was gonna happen? Hatcher complaining about Clooney breaking up with her is like a raccoon complaining because it got chased out of a bakery. You had your time in the sun, and it was great. Now go back to the dumpster.



Source

Star magazine is ready to go to press with a story saying that things are through between Jessica Simpson and Maroon 5 frontman Adam Levine, and that Levine dumped Jessica though a text message. Star says:

Adam Levine lets Jessica Simpson know it’s over

Part of the ongoing drama involving Paris Hilton and Brian Quintana - a former close friend of Hiltons who recently won a restraining order against her, keeping her at least 100 yards away at all times - is that Quintana testified that his relationship with Hilton turned ugly after Quintana informed Stavros Niarchos, Hiltons boyfriend at the time, that she had an STD. Quintana said:

“I wanted him to be aware of it–that she had herpes. To make sure he didn’t catch anything. He informed me that he was [aware].”

Quintana testified that Hilton overheard the conversation and became furious.
According to E! Online:

“She said, ‘This is between the three of us; if this gets out you’re a fucking dead man,’” Quintana said. He claimed that after the exchange, he began receiving suspicious phone calls and started to believe his life was in “imminent danger.” Quintana further alleged Hilton “has a drug and alcohol problem, some rather shady associates and is known for erratic behavior.”

I find this hard to believe. Paris Hilton isn’t even married, how could she have caught a sexually transmitted disease. Bullshit like this really makes me question the tabloids sometimes.



Mariah Carey says the reason for her ripped physique lately is because she’s been working out so hard in the gym. Maybe a little too hard. Maybe. She told the London Mirror:

“I’ve been working out like mad - you can even punch me in the stomach and feel how tight that is. But I’ve gotta slow it down, cos the other day someone told me I was losing my ass - and I don’t want to lose that.”

Mariah Carey must be working out in a fun house if she thinks her ass is disappearing. Either that or she’s just kinda dumb. Prolly just kinda dumb. I bet you could snap the heel of one of her shoes and she would walk in a circle for an hour, a look of panic on her face as she begs for someone to help.

Source