Most reasonable people agree that no one loves Jessica Simpson more than I do. I even used “Sweet Kisses” as the entrance music for my ultimate fighting matches. In hindsight, it may have been a mistake, as it seemed to fill my opponent with confidence, but before that I was using “Coward of the County” by Kenny Rogers, which didn’t help either. My retarded lengthy point being, hot chicks should stop using gay dudes as stylists. Because left on her own, Jessica is still insanely hot, but then her BFF Ken Paves gets a hold of her and makes her look like absolute hell. The gay community loves me ’cause I’m sassy, so I’m not trying to start a fight, but look here nancy, just because you don’t like girls doesn’t mean you get to ruin them for the rest of us. Go play with your dolls. Put them in frumpy floral dresses. Meanwhile, I’ll pick out some half shirts and cheerleading shorts for my beloved Jessica.

Sorry about the picture quality here. I’ll update with better as soon as its out. In the meantime, here’s the clip of Jessica giving oral to an ice cream cone, at least according to legend. It’s kinda hard to tell but she sounds really hot here so who the hell cares.


Colin Farrell was confronted during a taping of the Tonight Show yesterday after a woman from the audience approached him on stage. The woman was identified as Dessarae Bradford (see her myspace here). Brafdord was detained but not arrested. She has previously claimed that Farrell has stalked her. During their confrontation on stage, one audience member said the woman shouted at Farrell, “I’ll see you in court,” to which Farrell replied, “You’re insane.” Another member of the audience described the situation:

“She said something to Colin Farrell that no one heard, then he took her by the elbow, led her off stage, asked the cameramen to turn off their cameras and asked for security.”

Farrell then returned to the stage, apologized to the audience and finished the interview, cool and calm in every way.

I wish I was surprised but I’m really not. It’s always something when you’re as handsome as me or Colin. Just the other day one of the models started to turn blue and flail around at the bottom of the hot tub, obviously throwing a little tantrum because she wasn’t the center of attention. But I don’t roll like that, baby, so I just ignored her, and sure enough she stopped after a few minutes. Harsh? Maybe, but it’s all part of my tough love program.

Source = People



King of Queens “star” and fellow scientologist Leah Remini says she has seen Suri Cruise, the daughter of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, while on a recent visit to Telluride Colorado, where the new family is vacationing. Leah said:

“She’s a newborn and normal size. Tom and Katie want to have a life and raise their baby. They’re normal parents. Suri’s a beaming baby. She looks like Tom and Katie. She’s just beautiful. Tom is one of those doting dads and Katie looks beautiful - I’m jealous of her. She bounced right back.”

Yes, the inches just melt away when you remove a pillow from under your shirt, don’t they. Another good tip is you can appear taller by jumping. Leah went on to describe Suri as having straight hair. But on the Ellen Degeneres show, Cruise said Suri had curly hair. So, to recap, Suri has curly or straight hair, looks like Tom or Katie and the family is perfectly normal. Except there is no proof their baby exists. And no explanation for how they travelled to Telluride without someone seeing it. Did they tunnel to Colorado? Did they FedEx the kid or bury her in a laundry cart like a prison break, it’s hard to say, so really, this changes nothing. There’s more proof that fire breathing dragons exist than Suri Cruise.



Source = Sky News and Jossip.


Sources say that Christina Aguilera is settling into married life and starting to shy away from the aggressively sexual image she once had. Pictures of her earlier this week in a see thru top showed she no longer had her nipple piercings, reportedly the last of 12 piercings she has had removed. She’s even spoken for the first time about her long range plans to start a family with husband Jordan Bratman.

“I’m going to do one more album and then consider settling down and having kids.”

I’d actually like to thank Jordan Bratman here for not rubbing it in. He looks like a cartoon turtle, yet somehow landed Christina Aguilera. And now he’s having her tone it down. That’s a lot more mature than I would be. If I were married to Christina, we could be at my parents funeral and I would still parade her around in daisy dukes and a cop hat.



Dane Cook is set to join Jessica Simpson as the co-host on this years Teen Choice Awards. The show will air live on Fox on Sunday, August 20 from Los Angeles. This of course will only fuel rumors that Jesscia and Dane are secretly an item. Although both deny that they are dating - and Dane lives with girlfriend Raquel Houghton - MSNBC says they were caught “making out” on July 11th at Hyde in LA. A source says:

“They spent most of the night hugging and making out. He had his arm draped over the back of her chair

Paris Hilton has denied that she hacked into Lindsay Lohans blackberry and sent vile messages to Lindsay’s friends, messages that appeared to be from Lindsay. Paris called the claims “silly” but Lindsay’s spokesperson said whoever was guilty sent:

“disgusting and very mean messages that everyone thought were coming from Lindsay. They weren’t. We now have her lawyers looking into it. Some people think Paris may have been involved because the wording of the messages sounds very familiar.”

That’s the upside when idiot whores like Paris try to pull a prank like this. There’s zero chance of them being smart enough to succeed. The text would just read, “hey, this is Paris. I mean Linsey. Lynnsey Lowen. I think I suck. I wish I was pretty like Paris Hilton. Paris Hilton is so pretty. But me and you suck. And we are really poor. I hate you. Signed, Lindsey Hilton.”



Source = Contact Music