Alexis Ren Tan Lines Not Much Else

A young chick with buck teeth and a hot body can write her own check. I have to keep looking up this model's age to make sure I'm not getting bunked next to Jared for the next ten years.read more

Amber Heard Bruised Face Leaving Court

Just when you thought there was nothing left to the Johnny Depp and Amber Heard out of nowhere divorce filing, along comes Amber Heard with one a bruise on the right side of her face. Heard claims that Depp threw his iPhone at her over this past weekend. It's completely unsubstantiated and Depp's representatives are denying it, but if you close your eyes you can easily imagine Johnny Depp all pissy and throwing his...read more

Somebody's Baby Is Feeling Up Hannah Ferguson

Hannah Ferguson is a proud member of the Trump Modeling Agency. Donald Trump formed the outlet in New York after realizing running a modeling agency was the only thing better than being a billionaire for making hot young women weak in the knees. It bore him many good lays and a future Slovakian model third wife wife.read more

April Love Geary in A Bikini

April Love Geary posted a whole bunch of vacation photos of her tits and ass to remind the world why she gets to have Robin Thicke in his vests laying on top of her each night. It's like a quarterback showing off his college football championship rings after being traded to the Browns. We know you were once great.read more

Alessandra Ambrosio Has a Simple Strategy

Every media mention about Alessandra Ambrosio is related to what she's wearing or how great she looks. Living in Spandex is absolutely the way to go through life if you can get away with it. You'll be out of the lingerie game in five more years, but you'll have forty million American dollars buried in a cemetery in the hills outside your native city.read more

Kim Kardashian Sues Man For Being a Publicity Whore

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are preparing a legal suit against that bodyguard from the Met Gala who was fired on the spot by West for personally conversing with his porn star wife pre-event. Steve Stanilus took his pink slip and made forthwith to the Daily Mail for a tell all interview about Kim and Kanye. That violated Paragraph 1 of his signed NDA which states in 24 point Impact Bold font, shut the fuck up you...read more

Camila Morrone in A Bikini

Models now routinely maintain eponymous websites where they deliver health and fashion and lifestyle advice based on the fact that they're in their 20's and really good looking. You could waste a ton of tuition dollars and work training hours only to discover nobody gives a shit about your professional advice. Or you could just be pretty and tell everybody about dangerous sugars hidden in fruits and the best place to...read more

Sara Jean Underwood Has a Job

Sara Jean Underwood has a job. Collecting followers on social media by way of the best outdoor recreational photos ever produced. This is not the hiking you imagine when overweight customer service reps reflexively list it as a hobby on their online dating profiles. Being hot and having amazing tits has always been a way to earn, it's just never had it's own SIC code.read more

Rihanna Nipples Hard for Sneaker Dollars

Rihanna celebrated the release of her third round of marked up sneakers by walking around Manhattan showing off her panties and nipples. They're Pumas with thick rubber soles called "creepers" because that sounds better than "we ripped off Vans and nobody gives a shit".read more

Nicki Minaj Is a Beast

Nicki Minaj has received two nominations for the Teen Choice Awards. Neither of them had to do with wanting to lose your virginity in her ginormous fake ass. Let's just assume girls make up the bulk of the online voting. Minaj celebrated by posting pictures to Instagram of her exaggerated cartoon fuck toy body in lingerie.read more

Erika Jordan Red Bikini For Red Nose Day

I hate when people start celebrating Red Nose Day early. Red Nose Day is May 26, a day designated to celebrate a photo of a white guy hugged by half a dozen starving African kids. Not an entire week like the manner in which we honor God or public school teachers.read more

Britt Maren Almost Naked Free Person

Free People is the 'Bohemian' sub-brand for Urban Outfitters. It's unclear what is meant by Bohemian in the context of mass produced and transshipped factory garments. The t-shirts are eighty bucks and lack the imperfections of homemade tie-dye. The dresses are crocheted by an army of tiny Cantonese girls spinning on a hamster wheel.read more

Ariana Grande Selling Sex (VIDEO)

Ariana Grande's new album is chock full of songs about wanting to be touched and fucked and feel like a woman. I'm not sure she needs a whole album to make that happen. I know a bar. These are the musings of a young woman who grew up on a TV set and didn't get the chance to be recklessly slutty during high school or college.read more

Anne Hathaway Cried at the Gym

Tales of crying at the gym are the female equivalent of men happening to bring up high school sports stories in their primal drum circles. Largely invented myths that bond the genders. If you're a celebrity trying to recast your public persona and never cried at the gym, your press agent will set you up with a decent ringer.read more

Kourtney Kardashian Getting Kind of Old For This Shit

A thirty-seven year old mom of three fronting a Vegas nightclub in a leather bra isn't necessarily depressing. Not when she's taking home $50,000 for her troubles. More cringe worthy when she's pocketing three hundred bucks and a subjugating fingering from the club owner. Money makes the difference.read more