Tara Reid Still Working

Blond women with big racks are like lefty relievers in baseball. Even the older mediocre ones seem to keep landing gigs. Tara Reid made it nearly on time to the premiere of an Indian movie nobody seems to have heard of where she's the only non-Indian cast member.read more

Kim Kardashian Mobbed in Cuba By Up to Eleven People

As a sign of improved U.S. Cuban relationships, we sent the Kardashians into Havana. Fuck you for being a pain in the ass for sixty years, Cuba. The Kardashians paraded through the streets in a Papal like motorcade blaring a message in Spanish that translates roughly to 'capitalism will get you into this kind of pussy.'read more

Kristen Wiig in A Bikini

Not-fat female comedians have a rougher road than most. Nobody cares Melissa McCarthy hit the ice box at two in the morning breaking on the inside. She's still that funny chick from Bridesmaids. America doesn't want a skinny John Candy. That's why we had him killed. If you're Kristen Wiig in a bikini on the beach, the paradigm shifts.read more

Paris Hilton Rattles Cages

Paris Hilton pissed off a UN wild animal conservation group by posing with a dressed up orangutan while visiting Dubai. Rich people in the Middle East are especially fond of purchasing wild animals and turning them into cocktail party ice breakers. So exactly what The Hamptons would be like without some supervision from U.S. Customs.read more

Rumer Willis Jawline Bullied

Rumer Willis claims Vanity Fair Photoshopped her jaw to several evolution iterations past Cro-Magnon. Willis posted the previously unseen photo to Instagram then asked everybody to please remove it from their accounts. Somebody got into mom's Whip-Its.read more

Ariel Winter Can't Stop Showing Off Them Titties

Being eighteen and having a constantly talked about rack is just far too much power. It supersedes any desire to be politically correct or discuss your craft seriously. TV sitcom daughter is not an official SIC code but it's still lionized as teacher or Chief Diversity Officer.read more

Marcella Braga Made It Out

Olympics fever has turned out to be mostly Zika. The IOC is producing thousands of tiny sized baby knit caps as souvenirs for foreign visitors to Rio in August. Attractive Brazilian woman like this chick know exactly what to do during pandemics and inflation crisis, head for the fucking exits.read more

Cara Delevingne Seems Unstoppable

Cara Delevingne is one of those chicks racking up career accomplishments with the impossible to overestimate benefit of a massive social media following. If you're producing a historical costume drama, you could do worse than her thirty million Instagram followers pushed to buy tickets.read more

Nicki Minaj And Madonna Fashion Forward

The Met Gala is New York's version of the Oscars, only you don't have to have a job to attend, just a really expensive dress. Until fully audited, consider it a fundraiser for the Metropolitan Museum which needs to remain open so student filmmakers at NYU have somewhere to guerrilla shoot. More movies about what it's like to grow up with two literati parents who ignored you, please.read more

Radio Disney Assembles Their Pretty Babies

Disney TV and radio events resemble the trotting out of child sex slave workers freed from dingy sub-basements after Adam LaRoche has raided the joint. We've won the battle but we're losing the war. Fogle has a Foundation. LaRoche just has Wonderboy and Jesus in his bluetooth.read more

Kendall Jenner Meets the President

The White House Correspondents Dinner used to be a showcase for the sitting President to recite cracks about himself and the White House press corps then hand out a bunch of awards to dead people. The annual event served as a friendly reminder that the press who cover POTUS will do pretty much whatever he and his staff ask since they're looking for access or just sweet jobs in the White House.read more

Kate England in A Bikini

Can you be friends with a woman you've seen butt-fucked seventy-three times on camera? Gaping for a living seems less troubling than a woman who consumes self-help non-fiction. If adult film acting credentials were the sole factor by which you chose female friends friends, you'd notice your guy friends wanting to come over far more often. Many of them would bring beer and willingly offer to help you move furniture....read more

Tracy Anderson in A Bikini

Tracy Anderson is the go-to fitness guru for all the big names in Hollywood. According to her press releases she trains Gwyneth Paltrow, Jennifer Lopez, Nicole Richie, Lena Dunham and a shit load of westside moms who want to look like any of the first three. Time to edit your sizzle list. Anderson shapes the health and fitness of her clients through a strict regimen of hardcore dance workouts, healthy eating, and a...read more

Lara Stone Topless Bikini Change

Something marvelous happens to a model when they consume food. They get their tits back. What cigarettes and starvation has spent years reducing, having a decent run of meals and producing a child restores. It can't do much for gapped teeth. Complain about chub around the midsection all you like, the alternative is fucking a chick who resembles a seventh grader. That wasn't compelling even in seventh grade.read more

Bella Hadid Breasts Responding Well to Lyme Disease

There's no more compelling competition than two sisters climbing over each other for sexual attention. It's not as if older sister becomes a lawyer so you become a doctor. That's a CW show. Not the a celebrity model family in Malibu.read more