User since: 06/30/2009 00:00
Number of posts: 15

Last 15 pearl of wisdom:

02/03/2014 18:52 Woody Allen Says He's No Kiddy Fiddler
Wait, "Dylan" was actually the seven year old girl?? All this time, I thought Dylan was the girl's older brother, writing as her White Knight. No wonder those people are all headcases.

01/08/2014 01:18 OJ Simpson Asks Obama For Clemency
He has either brain cancer, or what's known to neurosurgeons as shitforbrains. Obama can't pardon him. Only the governor of Nevada can do that.

12/20/2013 18:59 Internet Company P.R. Chief Tweets The Last Joke Of Her Career
If you say the tweet out loud, in a South Efrican accint, it's actually kinda funny. Try it.

12/02/2013 17:06 Joe Jonas Blames Everything On Miley Cyrus
Oh look, it's the tambourine player from Frankie Goes To Hollywood

11/11/2013 20:00 138 Water Now Has a Body Snatcher Bus
138 Water is a front for the Border Patrol, and that was a deportation bus. Notice all the women they picked up are mexicans. Hey Border Patrol -- next time, deport the ugly ones.

10/16/2013 19:55 You're Not the Worst Person In the World, The Shitstain Who Tormented Rebecca Sedwick Is
"The _Shitstain_ Who Tormented Rebecca Sedwick" I wondered if the bitch was black. That confirms it.

06/29/2013 17:36 What If Jose Canseco Was Your Dad? (VIDEO)
so i guess steroids shrink the titties, too

05/18/2013 02:21 The Howe Twins Are Entrepreneurial
Howe many beers would it take? A ton.

12/18/2012 22:05 Lindsay can be hired for private parties now
How can you not have heard of 123Talent??? They're the FIRST listing under "Talent Agencies"! The Yellow Pages(tm) doesn't give those prime #1 spots out to just any asshole.

02/24/2012 21:24 Sheryl Crow is in a bikini, freaking me out
“Crow looked stunning in a two-piece bikini.” "Stunning" doesn't necessarily mean "good".

01/25/2012 22:04 Rihanna got a "thug life" tat on her knuckles
She could've ordered "N-i-g-g-e-r" instead, delivered the same message, and saved 25% at the tatt parlor. "T-h-u-g-l-i-f-e" is 2 letters more.

01/17/2012 19:13 Todd Glass has come out of the closet
If he's already got blood on his shit, he might as well have blood on his shirt.

04/29/2010 13:52 miley cyrus wants you to see her naked
This is great news. I just finished my script, written specifically for Miley Cyrus: Brown Bunny The Peequel.

03/27/2010 15:25 the vanilla gorilla (update!)
When i was in high school, there was a fat ugly albino negress who we called Vanilla Gorilla.

06/29/2009 20:05 Joe Jackson is devastated
"Is that a giant purple gorilla behind them?" What a turrible thing to say about Al Sharpton.