User since: 05/03/2013 22:01
Number of posts: 468

Last 20 pearl of wisdom:

04/16/2014 18:36 Jenny McCarthy Is Marriage Material
The only way I would put a ring on a hard-ridden mare like Jenny McCarthy is if I knew for a fact that she had a lot more money than me. I'd be talking to my lawyer during the honeymoon.

04/16/2014 18:32 Dina Lohan's Guilty Plea is a Passover Miracle
Methinks Mr. Jewenstein has a large investment in Hair Club For Men.

04/16/2014 13:19 Natalie Dormer Camel Toe Is a Spiffy Trick
Who's that dude?

04/16/2014 13:16 I Slept Through Tax Day Again
"But for the most part, it’s just a symbolic holiday for Libertarians to eat pie in the back of Denny’s and bitch about taxes, and, naturally, why we can’t openly carry guns into legal brothels while

04/15/2014 19:21 Pamela Anderson Regrets Being Naked
I wonder if "I regret making a bootleg fvck tape with Tommy Lee" made the top 5.

04/15/2014 13:18 US Airways Took Social Media To New Heights
That's just racist, Hugh. I know Asian people are small, but the real Flight 777 would have to be at least twice as large as this nice lady's snatch-plane.

04/14/2014 15:36 Cara Delevingne Misses Her Lady's Tongue
Thank you for covering your weird alien face. Shame you couldn't pull it off in every picture.

04/14/2014 14:47 Pregnant Mila Kunis Hid The Douchebaby Bump Well At The MTV Movie Awards
Huh, I didn't know Buddy Christ was still around.

04/14/2014 14:45 Kate Upton Wants Smaller Boobs
20-year-old know-nothing model whose career is mostly fluke wishes she was irrelevant. FIFY

04/14/2014 13:34 Alessandra Ambrosio Was The Best Part Of Coachella
Maybe the spam is there by design, per PB's comment.

04/11/2014 19:59 Nancy Grace Saves The World Again
There is no such thing as a "good" or a "bad" drug. "Drugs are bad" coincides with the end of Big P Prohibition and the beginning of the drug war that has done so much to wreck American liberty. The

04/11/2014 19:52 Prince Jackson Seems Normal
Every once in a while a mixed black kid will come out looking shockingly white. This is either that or fraud.

04/10/2014 14:52 Minnie Driver In A Bikini In Miami
MD is one of those women that other women think guys should like, but the guys in question just nod without really listening. Oh, and welcome, troll.

04/10/2014 14:49 Amanda Bynes Is Off Her Medication, Free To Resume Being Crazy
"but it was also sad to see that nobody really gave a shit about Amanda, at least enough to step in and demand that she get help." Speak for yourself. I don't come here because I admire these peop

04/10/2014 14:47 Rob Lowe Is Too Handsome
Hello and welcome to cafepress! What would you like your t-shirt to say? "Ask Me About My First World Problems" That sounds great! Would you like to send as a gift? [y/n] "Y' Please ent

04/09/2014 19:57 Run, Don't Walk, to Get Yourself an Ass Tattoo
Kate Middleton is a parasite in a funny costume, just like the rest of the nice German people that live at Windsor.

04/08/2014 22:26 Peaches Geldof Is Dead But Don't Say Why
And her name didn't help. Just sayin.

04/08/2014 15:15 The Human Barbie Is Kind of a Bitch
Lex is the kind of guy whose girlfriend leaves him for a black guy, and his first instinct is to high-five the black guy. You guys are so transparently self-hating and anti-white that I have to think

04/08/2014 13:06 Lena Dunham Is Still A Classic Beauty
My favorite spammers are the ones who address you by name, but there's no one who goes by that name in the comments. "That's right, Helen, I made $6k last month..." Helen?

04/07/2014 20:07 Peaches Geldof Is Dead But Don't Say Why
Sad day. I admire Bob for the activism he's done on behalf of divorced fathers (if you can get past the Feed Africa horseshit).