By Matt July 29, 2015 @ 6:22 AM
Thomas McDermott is the mayor of Hammond Indiana, which is just outside of Chicago but sometimes on a moonless night you can still hear the bullets flying. McDermott recently shut down a concert by serial firearms offender Chief Keef, even though Keef only appeared as a hologram onstage, leading the officers to struggle with the cuffs like a cat chasing a laser pointer. McDermott wanted to show he’s no prude, so he made a point to pose with 2 Chainz and make sure the kids know he’s down with the hip hop, just not the stuff about guns and gangs and drugs and sex, so maybe he’s not really down with it at all and is embarrassing himself. Nonetheless he offered a super fake smile and probably took a hit of weed and said something quasi racist in the greenroom before excusing himself. As long as he approves of what you say, free speech will thrive in Hammond. Failing that he’ll be developing a hologram law enforcement team to hand lollipops out at high school football games. They work great because you can shoot them and nobody gets hurt. People are dancing. Bring in RoboCop.
Photo Credit: Twitter
By Lex June 13, 2013 @ 1:13 PM
It’s easy to root against rappers. For every one originally talented gangster, there’s twenty stoned posers with stupid names and recycled sounds and a love of weapons they don’t know how to handle. Last week 2 Chainz denied being held up at gunpoint in San Francisco, even though he clearly was. 2 Chainz just had to go street justice on the mofo who came up on him with a gat. So bad ass! You know, until the surveillance video comes out. Now I’ve got to take his poster off my wall and laser off this fucking 2 Chainz Forever tattoo.
By Lex June 11, 2013 @ 3:26 PM
I know what you’re thinking. I wonder how rapper 2 Chainz is doing since he done got jacked in the Bay Area over the weekend. He’s doing just great. In fact, he’s denying it ever took place, you know, despite police reports and witnesses. He’s also got some rules he had to share on Twitter. Three of them in fact. Like Moses, but for the shorter attention span of the modern generation:
Rule #1 if a rapper gets robbed people usually post items that has been taken. Rings, chains, watch, money etc.
Makes sense, 2 Chainz.
Rule #2 if a rapper gets shot he usually go to hospital or dies.
No doubt, 2 Chainz. Speak the truth.
Rule #3 we definitely got geeked up in San Fran, best smoke in the world. 2 blessed 2 stress.
Oh, man, 2 Chainz is back!
Police are worried 2 Chainz is going to try and handle this ‘jacking’ on his own. God knows the world can’t stand to lose any more robbers or rappers.