By Travis August 27, 2013 @ 11:00 AM
While everyone from Will and Jaden Smith to your 97-year old grandmother was making fun of Miley Cyrus’ ridiculously stupid and hilariously unsexy performance at the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards on Sunday night, the singer was bragging about Rolling Stone praising her effort and posting pictures of her D-minus ass on Twitter yesterday. The above image had Miley wearing some sort of Michael Jordan tribute, and I assume that she’s squatting because she’s about to take a dump on a backup dancer’s chest.
Miley also boasted that more people Tweeted about her showing off her teenage boy body than about the Super Bowl, and that’s probably because the Super Bowl wasn’t turning half of the men in America gay.
By Lex August 26, 2013 @ 7:31 PM
A somewhat somber group of mostly itinerant hispters spread out around the lightly populated stage at Perez Hilton’s pre-VMA party. Many attributed the lack of attendance to the ongoing feud between the blogger and Lady Gaga, wherein the latter accused the former of being a bitchy, nasty, two-faced, stalker. But the few nearby college twinks who actually attended the event were quick to dismiss the Gaga feud notion and instead pointed out that the drinks sucked and the smiling gay bondage worker on stage was creeping even them out.
Photo Credit: Splash
By Lex August 26, 2013 @ 6:20 PM
Have you ever pondered how they make those rough looking chicks into stage beauty when the lights go on? Yeah, aren’t you the deep thinker. None of that applies to Lady Gaga, who goes from pre-game rambleshack to game time Sleestack, and it still takes an armada of resources just for that junior league metamorphosis. Terry Richardson tagged along to track Lady Gaga’s preparations during the day of the VMAs. I was going to say he saw her naked a lot to remind himself why he doesn’t like girls. But Terry is one of the few hetero celebrity photographers in New York, so I’m going to guess he did it to get paid. Sex and money are what drives men. In relation to gigs for Gaga, be clear up front that you want the money.
Photo Credit: Terry Richardson
By Lex August 26, 2013 @ 11:49 AM
I’m not sure what you call it when a retarded chick with massive white dental caps and nubby hair knots starts grinding on an older dude dressed like Beetlejuice, but where I come from, we call it highly watchable. Maxim’s may have tied their sinking ship to the flounder face of Miley Cyrus, I just want to see her simulate sex. I’ll pretty much watch any woman not heavier than ‘needing to lose a few’ grind their privates in public display. Everybody is worried about the harmful message Miley might be sending to her young teen female audience that empowerment comes through grinding your honeydew onto some dudes lap. But nobody is considering the half glass full perspective for high school boys everywhere. Twerking is going to be very very good to them.
Photo Credit: Splash, WENN
By Travis August 26, 2013 @ 11:00 AM
A lot of semi- to kind-of-sort-of-famous men and women showed up to last night’s MTV Video Music Awards wearing the dumbest fucking outfits that you’ll probably ever see in your lives, and that includes Miley Cyrus, who dressed like a pre-teen boy from 1983 while sticking her tongue out because people are assholes and tell her that’s cool.
But none of them mattered after Selena Gomez showed up with one of her tits hanging out, and that was really a nice thing for her to do. Sure, it’s kind of creepy because she still looks like she’s 15, and she loses hot points because she keeps letting Justin Bieber stick it in her, but hey – a partial tit’s still a tit.
(Photo Credits: Ryan/Andres Otero/WENN.com)
By Travis August 26, 2013 @ 10:00 AM
I don’t know which is worse: A) That Katy Perry showed up to the MTV Video Music Awards last night with her breasts completely covered up by the rug from a late-70s porn set, B) That Katy Perry rocked the stupid rich white lady wearing a grill schtick less than a week after Madonna’s old, veiny ass did it, or C) That Katy Perry stood on the red carpet and made the same stupid face with her dumb $1,000 grill as Riff Raff did on the very same night.
And it’s a trick multiple choice question, because the answer is: D) That Katy Perry has sex with John Mayer after he wrote a song whining about Taylor Swift.
(Photo Credits: Andres Otero/WENN.com)