Serena Williams Dominates

By Lex September 09, 2013 @ 2:21 PM

Serena Williams Jumps For Joy After Winning The US Open
Serena Williams dominated yet another tennis tournament, winning the U.S. Open then crushing her vanquished opponent’s thorax between her big toe and her little piggy that stayed home. Flush with adrenaline, Serena leapt from center court in Queens to Manahttan where she punched her fist through the Chrysler building as payback for the PT Cruiser. I’m not suggesting people need fear Serena Williams, but a statue to her Herculean accomplishments in your town’s center square might not be such a bad idea if you want to live.

Photo Credit: Getty

Serena Williams Is Holy Crap

By Lex August 27, 2013 @ 12:31 PM

Serena Williams Playing On The First Day Of The US Open In New York
Fresh out of the Jaeger factory in Hong Kong island sector, Serena Williams looks pretty fucking ready to not only win the U.S. Open, but tear the heads off of her opponents, rampage through the stands at Flushing Meadows, and ultimately make her way atop the Empire State Building to be shot down by kids from unpronounceable Asian nations with smuggled BB guns stationed on the observation deck. I might be reading into it too much, but I just shit my pants looking at her quads.

Photo Credit: Getty, PCN