MICHAEL JACKSON - had at least 2 girlfriends whose identity have remained a secret, according to his bodyguards. Well that’s all the proof I need. I’m sure it wasn’t a boy in a wig and a dress. Why can’t the girls go public? Who knows. Maybe they’re mermaids. (wonderwall)
GABOUREY SIDIBE - has joined the cast of a new Showtime series called, “The Big C”. The goal of the show is to see how many “the fat vagina” jokes the internet can make. (imdb)
JIMMY KIMMEL - might replace Barbara Walters as host of the interview special before the Oscars every year. It’s part of ABCs new plan to make shows people watch and enjoy. (pop eater)
JESSICA SIMPSON - is glad she doesn’t look like Daisy Duke anymore. “So am I”, agreed No One On Earth. (us.com)
KATY PERRY - should have been posted yesterday but can’t be forgotten because her Oscar dress was terrific. Her hair was down and the dress actually flattered her body instead of hiding it under 1800 yards of fabric. It went against the normal award show trend of trying to look as terrible as possible. (getty and splash)
These pictures of Bar Refaeli at last nights Vanity Fair party got me wondering where Jewish people rank her on lists of great Jews throughout history. Jews love organizing things, so I knew they would have plenty of lists like that, and I was right. But then things quickly took a perplexing turn. It seems crazy, but none of the lists I found even had her in the top 5? Oh I know, right? What the hell is that all about?
Moses, Abraham, David and Jesus were in most of the top 5 lists because of their miracles and religious leadership, but if all 4 of them were doing pretty much the same thing, how hard could it have really been? Meanwhile there’s only one Bar. So those 4 are out.
That leaves only Einstein, whose Theory of Relativity showed how a large amount of energy could be released from a small amount of matter. This would eventually lead to the atomic bombs that killed 250,000 Japanese in WWII. Unlike Einstein’s insatiable thirst for blood and hunger to kill, Bar sends only a message of love and peace.
So do these new findings mean that Bar Refaeli is the greatest Jew of all time? According to the data, yes. Yes she is.
Vanessa Hudgens wore one of her awesome backless dresses to the Vanity Fair party last night, and this one had a plunging neckline too. It showed twice the skin, making it twice as awesome. Her date Zac Efron (not pictured) could barely contain himself when he first saw it, and couldn’t wait to get her out of it. But eventually they agreed that Vanessa should be the one to wear it, and although disappointed, Zac understood that it wasn’t time yet.
(picture source = getty images)
Christine Hendricks was one of the many big stars at Elton Johns party after the Academy Awards, and I should love her because she has red hair and huge tits and those are my favorite things ever, but for some reason I don’t. It’s not one thing. It’s a bunch of things that are just slightly too much. Her ass is too big and she’s too pale and her hair looks like a wig and she wears her makeup weird. It’s almost like looking at an x-rated snowman.
(picture source = getty images)
Some people say Hilary Swank isn’t sexy, and by “some people” I mean “straight men”, but she wore one of the hottest dresses in a long time to the Vanity Fair party after the Academy Awards.
And on top of that, she was even nice enough to wear a fancy necklace so you could pretend like you weren’t staring at her tits. “Oh my gosh, is that a dreamcatcher? Wow that is so interesting. And … as I move closer, yeah wow look at that, it really catches the light. That is so neat.”
(picture source = getty images)
Melanie Brown went all out and looked really good for Eltons Johns Academy Award party, one of the three big parties held after the show. The other two are the Governors Ball and the Vanity Fair party. Of the three, I would guess Eltons has the best bathroom stall glory holes.
(picture source = getty images)
