Don’t Let Ellen Degeneres Name Your Child

November 14, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

People are not pets. Celebrities still haven’t figured that out yet. Naming your child something you would name your french bulldog will only make your kid hate you when they’re old enough to realize what happened


Adam Levine Trying Super Hard

November 20, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Adam Levine is working really hard to win his 20th high school reunion. The nearly full sleeves and back tats might be the kicker to show all the bullies from the upper middle class burbs he won’t dance for them any longer. Levine’s newest ink is the mermaid on his back holding a skull representing his gay cohort from sleep-away camp he wishes […]


Adam Levine Sugar Bombed

May 8, 2015 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Some guy threw a bag of sugar at Adam Levine on his way into the Jimmy Kimmel show and nailed him right in the grill. The guy was arrested on charges of battery. If you or I called the cops and told them someone threw a bag of powdered sugar on us, they’d tell us to […]


Behati Prinsloo Prone To Sausage Fests

April 20, 2015 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Victoria’s Secret angel and chick who fucks Adam Levine with a straight face Behati Prinsloo posted a photo of herself in a chlamydia oozing pool and captioned it with “#Casual#Dudesoup#mexico.” The only thing casual about this panic inducing cess pond is the ease at which these gents are staring at your ass while they urinate. Perhaps […]


Behati Prinsloo Nip Slip At Oscar Party

February 24, 2015 | nipslip | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Like much of America, the entrance of Maroon 5 at the Oscars signaled a four minute window to take a much needed dump. If I want to see handsome men moping, I can sit outside any casting call in this town. That is how I intend to spend my golden years. Watching those who God […]


Adam Levine and His Wife Who Looks Better in Modeling Photos Seem Lovable

October 29, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

There are things I love about Los Angeles. The weather, the Mexican food so authentic the tortillas have tuberculosis baked right in, the fact that girls don’t ask lots of followup questions when you tell them you work in the moving pictures business. Then there’s shit I hate. I could make a list, but a […]


Adam Levine Gets Married (Fuck Yeah, Tool) And Shit Around The Web

July 21, 2014 | crap around the web | Brendon| 0 Comments

Adam Levine somehow managed to land himself a Victoria’s Secret model wife. It reminds me of a little piece of advice my grandfather gave me when I asked him why girls didn’t want to date sweet lovable guys like me, “Mijo, chicks are fucking crazy and they love assholes”. Read all about the fucktard and […]


Adam Levine’s New Hair Is So Cool

May 5, 2014 | celebrity | Brendon| 0 Comments

In one of the celebrity whoring videos that Proactiv passes off as a commercial, Maroon 5 singer Adam Levine talks about how he used to be a total loser geek like the rest of us before he became a huge star. He had really bad acne in high school and that crushed his self-esteem, but […]


Anne Vyalitsyna is photogenic

November 28, 2012 | Uncategorized | Brendon| 0 Comments

The best picture here of Anne Vyalitsyna (the Russian Sports Illustrated and Victorias Secret model who dated Maroon 5 singer Adam Levine for two years before breaking up with him through a press release) is probably this one, where the camera is unapologetically pointed right up her ass. More paparazzi need to show this kind […]


Christina Aguilera is 2 hours late to ‘the Voice’ almost every day

May 12, 2012 | celebrity | Brendon| 0 Comments

Christina Aguilera is a self-centered bitch with an impossible ego, so she truly doesn’t care if the entire cast and crew of ‘The Voice’ have to wait for her to arrive on set every day. In fact she’s so apathetic that the producers started fining her for being late, which made absolutely no impact whatsoever. […]