Carlos Santana Questions Beyonce’s Musical Talent

February 16, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

The best part about getting old is saying whatever the fuck you want. Young rebels claim this stance, but they invariably come off looking like angry assholes. It’s old coots who frankly don’t give a shit anymore who lay claim to divine oracle status.

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Adele Thanks Beyonce on Behalf of Her Black Friends (VIDEO)

February 13, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Adele won Album of the Year at the Grammy’s for music written and produced by a mass of white dudes who stood up on stage behind her during the award show’s big speech. It’s awkward to be white in entertainment. Tying in the struggles of being a fat mom only get you so far. Black people see right through that. Also, you have one kid and three nannies. 

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Adele Twerks (VIDEO)

March 22, 2016 | celebrity | josh-j| 0 Comments

Adele twerked on stage. E! News wrote an article about it that reads like Seventeen Magazine fucked a YouTube personality. Adela tries to make it cute, but the only cute things over three-hundred pounds are baby elephants and Chris Farley, previously. Adele bounced on stage like a Teletubby but just fat where the TV screen goes: “I […]

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Adele Blows It With Weight Loss

February 16, 2016 | celebrity | josh-j| 0 Comments

Everybody’s losing their shit over Adele dropping ten pounds. It’s like the entire world has become Oprah’s assistants. They’re calling her ‘slimline’ which I’m pretty sure is a lamp. People love to compliment a woman who’s lost weight. And in obviously out loud ways. Unlike war heroes who they tend to say nice things about in […]

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Adele Cited for Sexual Harassment

February 5, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

When the Sexual Misconduct Office and the Gender + Equality Center at Oklahoma University got together, you just knew magic was about to happen. It’s like peanut butter and chocolate, if those snack foods had unchecked Title 9 funding and were immensely unhappy with themselves because dad wanted sons. February is Stalking Awareness Month in case not indicated […]

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Adele Is Doing The Theme Song For The New James Bond

March 4, 2013 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

“According to Britain’s “The Sun” newspaper, producers want the singer to work on music for the films the way Shirley Bassey did, who sang various songs for Bond movies, including “Diamonds Are Forever”, “Mooraker” and “Goldfinger.” Adele drives me wild for some reason. They say when you’re going after a big girl you should focus on one […]

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Last Night Was The Oscars, Here Are The Boobs That Showed Up

February 26, 2013 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

Last night was The 85th Annual Academy Awards and I’m completely ashamed to say I watched the entire thing. To sum it up, Seth MacFarlane did surprisingly not shitty, Jennifer Lawrence fell down, the Best Director winner was bullshit, Ben Affleck got snubbed, then didn’t and George Clooney kept getting free scotch thrown at him […]

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Taylor Swift takes defeat well

January 15, 2013 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

Taylor Swift doesn’t only act like a petulant 15-year-old when writing songs, she does it when losing awards too, as you can see by her pouty smirk at the Golden Globes last night after her awful song for ‘the Hunger Games’ rightfully lost to Adeles much better song for ‘Skyfall’. And as if that wasn’t […]

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Adeles ‘Skyfall’ song is actually pretty good

October 5, 2012 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

I don’t like Adele for the same reason I don’t take lavender baths, prance around in chiffon, or vote for liberals, but her song for ‘Skyfall’ (which isn’t officially out until tomorrow but got leaked tonight) is actually good. It’s very very James Bond sounding. Or at least the first two minutes are. Those are […]

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