When the Sexual Misconduct Office and the Gender + Equality Center at Oklahoma University got together, you just knew magic was about to happen. It’s like peanut butter and chocolate, if those snack foods had unchecked Title 9 funding and were immensely unhappy with themselves because dad wanted sons. February is Stalking Awareness Month in case not indicated on your BDSM Latvian model wall calendar. The Gender + Equality Center at OU celebrated by distributing one-sheets around campus with popular song lyrics that wittingly or unwittingly or not at all promote sexual harassment:
“The music examples were used to demonstrate how aspects of popular media could be interpreted to normalize unhealthy relationship behaviors.
Adele’s song Hello is about a chick who dumped her boyfriend and either wants him back or just feels like she needs to apologize which is a super obvious lame cover for wanting somebody back. I just called to say I’m so sorry, should we meet at a motel and fuck twice or thrice? I’m in between boyfriends and kind of horny. Again, so sorry, so is that a yes?
Adele leaves this dude a ton of voicemails. Presumably in a throaty melisma. We all know the chick in that song. She’s super fucking annoying. But if she were sexually harassing you’d probably still be together because that’s kind of hot, even with a plump British chick.
The OU Center also used Adam Levine Maroon 5 lyrics as an example of sexually harassing lyrics in popular music. By happenstance picking the one male singer who every woman on this planet big and small could beat up rather easily. None of this is likely to diminish the real instances of dudes with a screw loose picking on women who they hold accountable for their small penises. But as government grants go, spend it or lose it. Plus Tammy’s sister runs a graphic’s arts business out of her house. Remember when college used to be about studying and exams and learning? No, me either. Why does Bernie Sanders want more of this?
“According to Britain’s “The Sun” newspaper, producers want the singer to work on music for the films the way Shirley Bassey did, who sang various songs for Bond movies, including “Diamonds Are Forever”, “Mooraker” and “Goldfinger.”
Adele drives me wild for some reason. They say when you’re going after a big girl you should focus on one thing you like about them, but to be honest I can’t quite put my finger on what it is. I don’t know if it’s the way she waddles around the red carpet like a sexy English emperor penguin or that she looks like bag of meat every time she stuffs herself into one of those award dresses. It could be that she doesn’t take shit from anyone or that she is actually talented as hell and made a pretty solid theme song for Skyfall. I could listen to her get winded on stage all day singing that song. Whatever it is, don’t stop doing it because it’s working for me. Everyone else may be at the party trying to get with the pretty girl but I know the ultimate prize is the beefy loud mouthed British chick sitting in the corner who can’t stop singing about her ex-boyfriend.
Last night was The 85th Annual Academy Awards and I’m completely ashamed to say I watched the entire thing. To sum it up, Seth MacFarlane did surprisingly not shitty, Jennifer Lawrence fell down, the Best Director winner was bullshit, Ben Affleck got snubbed, then didn’t and George Clooney kept getting free scotch thrown at him for smiling every time someone joked he banged and/or will bang somebody like nine-year-old Quvenzhané Wallis (Actual Seth MacFarlane joke.) who already had to deal with Daniel Day Lewis demanding she thank him backstage. This shouldn’t fuck a kid up.
(Images of celebs who showed up to last night’s Oscars with varying degrees of cleavage or dumb-looking faces = Getty)
Taylor Swift doesn’t only act like a petulant 15-year-old when writing songs, she does it when losing awards too, as you can see by her pouty smirk at the Golden Globes last night after her awful song for ‘the Hunger Games’ rightfully lost to Adeles much better song for ‘Skyfall’.
And as if that wasn’t bad enough, Adele piled on the disrespect like it was a topping at an ice cream bar by acting amazed and saying she had no idea she was gonna win. THAT’S TAYLORS GIMMICK! How dare this fat bitch steal from poor sweet wittle Taylor!
I don’t like Adele for the same reason I don’t take lavender baths, prance around in chiffon, or vote for liberals, but her song for ‘Skyfall’ (which isn’t officially out until tomorrow but got leaked tonight) is actually good. It’s very very James Bond sounding. Or at least the first two minutes are. Those are solid. After that things get a little shaky. It’s like an allegory for what would happen if Adele sat on a poorly made chair.