Adriana Lima Seems Lonely

By Lex June 16, 2014 @ 3:14 PM

Adriana Lima In A Green Bikini At The Beach In Miami
I hate to see anybody unhappy. Seeing a good looking woman with a melancholy look makes me want to take her out for a drink while we mock the less attractive people around us. Myself excluded as I’m buying. Adriana Lima wasn’t going to stay married to an retired athlete for very long. Super model pussy doesn’t work like that. It needs fortune and fame to turn the tumblers. Marko Juric will likely comfort himself with one of the better looking girls from Serbia, but Brazilian A-grade is reserved strictly for current professional athletes and platinum selling rock band members. I didn’t invent the rules, I’m just explaining them.

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News, Splash

Adriana Lima In Your Dad’s Jock

By Lex June 06, 2014 @ 3:09 PM

Adriana-Lima-Flashes-Nipple-In-The-June-2014-Issue-Of-Vogue-Italia-lb
Europeans are always fucking things up. D-Day is as good a day as any other to remember how many times we’ve had to pull Europe’s ass out of the fryer. Do we get so much as a thank you. Hardly. We get cowboy jokes and sneers and mocking condescension from people sipping milk out of eco-friendly non-refrigerate refillable vacu-pouches. It’s like having a disaffected Goth kid in the house who eats your food and then talks shit about you in his Fey the Dark Lord chat room. Fuck you, Europe. I’ll rip that nipple ring right off your pouty bare man tit. I guess I’m mostly over WWII. Putting Adriana Lima in a hybrid rugby-soccer-lacrosse jock is another matter. It’s insane that you’re still considered a continent.

Photo Credit: Vogue Italia

Justin Bieber Probably Slept With Adriana Lima

By Travis May 29, 2014 @ 10:00 AM

If you didnt hate this little shitface before

It turns out the Cannes Film Festival wasn’t all about being a shirtless dickhead and having Paris Hilton rub her sweaty moose knuckle all over his baby boner for Justin Bieber. According to Us Weekly, the 20-year old singer delivered a death blow to all of his jealous haters by wearing former Victoria’s Secret model Adriana Lima down until she agreed to go back to his hotel. Justin “pursued her hard” as they talked all night before leaving the Gotha night club together at 5 am. Justin only posted a photo of his new friend to Instagram, but the recently-single 32-year old model apparently decided that it was time to have a little douchebag inside of her. The report claims that this “won’t turn into anything serious,” and I imagine that’s because nothing happened, and they only left together because she carried him out of the club in her arms as he sucked his thumb and stained his baggy jeans with a wet dream.

Adriana Lima Models Sexy Swimwear In The May 2014 Issue Of Vogue Spain

By Lex April 24, 2014 @ 11:21 AM

Adriana Lima Models Sexy Swimwear In The May 2014 Issue Of Vogue Spain

Photo Credit: Vogue Spain

Adriana Lima Topless And Covered For The April 2014 Issue Of Interview Germany

By Lex April 02, 2014 @ 12:20 PM

Adriana Lima Topless And Covered For The April 2014 Issue Of Interview Germany

Photo Credit: Interview Germany

Adriana Lima Models Sports Bras For Victoria’s Secret

By Lex March 10, 2014 @ 11:29 AM

Adriana Lima Models Sports Bras For Victoria's Secret

Photo Credit: Victoria’s Secret