Rumor has it, this G.I. Joe movie has been sitting in a can for many years now. The release date has seen more bumps than Paris Hilton during a work play vacay in Medellin (that was a fucking reach). It’s been delayed at least a year, if not two, which is typically not a good sign for an expensive tentpole movie like Joe. Can Bruce Willis save it? Probably not. Those days are over and this looks like another one in the loss column for The Rock. But, there is Adrianne Palicki. She’s hot. And she knows this film’s in big effin’ doo-doo so she showed off a ton of cleavage on the red carpet last night for the film. As if showing off your tits is some magical fix-it for life’s problems. That is only most of the time, Adrianne. This film’s in trouble.
Adrianne Palicki was the best thing about Friday Night Lights. Well, second best to Minka Kelly when Minka Kelly wasn’t talking in her baby girl voice, which I know works for some of you, but was five to six school grades too young for even the most ardent barely legal fan.
Adrianne is back from somewhere and doing something since Wonder Woman never panned out and she’s on the cover of FHM France. Which is like FHM, but in France. So, like being voted the best burger in Los Angeles, on the westside, near all the vegan restaurants, where people covered in green environmental ribbons ironically throw blood at you for eating meat. It’s like that. But that doesn’t mean Adrianne still isn’t one mighty fine looking woman.
The newest pictures from the set of Wonder Woman, taken last night in Hollywood, seem to show even more changes to her costume from that first god awful picture.
We already knew they re-made her pants in a different fabric and changed her boots from blue to red, but now they seem to have added more padding to her top to make her tits bigger. We’ve also learned that even the most powerful woman on earth is still a woman, and she gets a nice pat on the ass when she does a good job. So if you’re done saving the city, run along and get me some coffee, toots.
Hollywood really needs to stop remaking shit from the 70‘s. First of all, you could walk on any given set at any given time and hear someone say, “hey have you seen my cocaine”, but more importantly there were three channels back then. Just because a show got good ratings doesn’t mean it was good. It just means the other two were worse.
Case in point; Wonder Woman, the NBC remake which began filming last night in Hollywood. It seems hard to believe but the outfit looks even dumber in motion than it did standing still. It’s like you’re being arrested by a professional wrestler, or would be if she could manage to turn a corner without falling down.
Coming Soon has the very first picture of Adrianne Palicki in the new NBC version of Wonder Woman (full size here), and holy shit are you god damn kidding me.
She looks like a model for a Halloween website, and there’s no reason for it because it takes 3 seconds to run a search and find a hundred sexy Wonder Woman costume ideas. Like photoshopped Megan Fox. Or photoshopped Megan Fox as Supergirl which for some reason comes up. Or Veronika Zemanova (nsfw versions here). Or anyofthesedrawings. Or Denise Milani. She does look better than Kim Kardashian did though, and Olivia Munn, and this naked black guy holding his penis. But not as good as her and Supergirl about to do it. Or naked and losing at strip poker. She’s 300 feet tall and her clothes are ripped off and a machine is making love to her for some no doubt rational reason in this one. Naked while a guy jacks off on her here, though that may not be an official Wonder Woman cartoon. This one is just Kim Possible naked while some green girl shoves a vibrator in her ass, and to be honest I don’t feel like that one should have even come up during my sexy Wonder Woman costume search. Is it sexy? Yes, of course, obviously, but not only are they not Wonder Woman, they’re not even wearing costumes.
In summation, NBC has the worst Wonder Woman ever except for two $10 costumes and a masturbating hermaphrodite. Way to go, NBC. Clap. Clap. Clap.
Deadline says today that Adrianne Palicki of Friday Night Lights has not only won the role of Wonder Woman in the new NBC series, but she was the only actress even invited to test for it.
Unfortunately that’s not Palicki in the headline. That’s Denise Milani. Palicki is apparently a good actress, HitFix seems to think she’s perfect for this, but it won’t really matter.
Let’s not kid each other; Wonder Woman is pretty useless. Her only weapon is a lasso. A rope, with a hoop on the end. You ever been in a bad neighborhood and thought, “man, if only I had a rope with a hoop on the end right now.” If your baby calf is running away, there’s no one more qualified to help than Wonder Woman. Other than that she’s basically a tall Hooters waitress who took some tae-bo classes.
This show is actually fascinating because it could be one of the most shockingly bad and confusing shows to ever air on television. The Daily Beast got a copy of the script for the pilot, and suffice to say that Diana Prince/Wonder Woman is a bit different now.
Los Angeles-based mega-billionaire Diana—who collects planes and a multitude of transforming aircraft called “Ultimates” (no invisible plane in sight here)—as she attempts to take down an evil pharmaceutical company run by morally corrupt scientist Veronica Cale, who is mass-producing a human-growth hormone that is causing its users, mostly black inner city youth, to die. Along the way, she tackles criminals, a Senate subcommittee, and a broken heart, the latter courtesy of lost love Steve Trevor.
She also has some third identity; “mousy assistant Diana Price”.
Go ahead and read that again you want. You can read it every day until you’re a hundred and it’s still not gonna make an ounce of sense. I was hoping they’d at least cast some hot piece of ass with big tits. Like they did with Lynda Carter. I’d watch a home movie about my girlfriend being gangbanged if they stuck a topless picture of Lynda Carter in the corner. But no. No they didn’t do that.