Sony Chief Tips Sharpton and Jackson for Black Forgiveness

By Lex December 12, 2014 @ 11:44 AM

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Amy Pascal, the co-chair of Sony, has initiated a heartfelt strategy of carefully worded mea culpas, and a briefcase full of hundreds to Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson to serve as reparations for her emails containing blatantly racist remarks about President Obama. The only other option was to admit that rich white Liberals like to make black jokes. The truth is no way to keep your seven figure gig.

Pascal states how horrible it is to be judged on a ten-second snippet of your entire life’s work. Naturally, that presumes the one single time she made fun of black people in private was the one time Kim Jong Un’s forces of evil just happened to be stationed in a submarine in the Los Angeles river horking her emails. Bullshit that can’t be easily refuted is tantamount to the truth.

Pascal talked about the spiritual healing process she’s begun with Jackson and Sharpton on five easy installment payments, how she’s not really a racist like those white bible clingers in the South, and how nobody should blame Sony because the money they give her allows her in turn to donate heavily to the darkie in the White House she adores like a pet monkey she’d name Mr. Cheebs. Also, she can easily name two movies Sony has made under her tenure where black people were portrayed in a not super negative manner. Pascal didn’t want to out and out say it, but she’s pretty much the Rosa Parks of the studio executive ranks. I see an Image Award in somebody’s future.

Photo credit: Splash News

Sanford Rubenstein Put In Check

By Matt October 23, 2014 @ 6:06 AM

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When you’re in the throes of a rape charge its best to lay low. Maybe take the multicultural cartoon kids from We Pals picnicking. Otherwise, keep out out of sight and act contrite. Wannabe Hefner and classic over compensator Sanford Rubenstein decided to hit up a New York City sex club where he was denied entry because only younger more attractive rapists were allowed. Rubenstein is a former Al Sharpton associate who has maintained a befuddling well documented rape habit, a plateau which only highly sought after personal injury attorneys can attain. The trick is to sexually assault someone, ask if they’ve been injured, give them your card, and never answer. Hopefully this conviction sticks. I don’t know how ambulance chasers are treated in prison, but feeble rapists tend to get what’s coming to them. Namely personal injury.

Photo Credit: Getty Images

Jay Z And Justin Timberlake Paid Tribute To Trayvon Martin (VIDEO)

By Travis July 22, 2013 @ 10:00 AM






Jay Z and Beyoncé spent Saturday in New York City protesting the verdict in the George Zimmerman case with Trayvon Martin’s mom and, of course, the Reverend Al Sharpton, whose radar for TV cameras and celebrity photo opportunities is sharper than ever. Jay Z and Beyoncé have apparently been very focused on the aftermath of the trial, as Mrs. Carter dedicated a song to the deceased teenager last weekend and Jay and Justin Timberlake did the same at their show at Yankee Stadium on Friday night.

And someone in the crowd probably still booed and shouted, “Go Red Sox!”

Monday morning headlines

By brendon May 02, 2011 @ 11:56 AM

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MARIAH CAREY – gave birth to twins this weekend in LA (a boy and a girl though their names have not been disclosed), then renewed her wedding vows with Nick Cannon in a ceremony conducted by that mushmouth Al Sharpton. Or at least she thinks she did. It’s entirely possible she’s now married to Al Sharpton. (thr)

JUSTIN BIEBER – had eggs thrown at him in Australia this weekend. Eggs? Is there a battery shortage down there I don’t know about? (huff post )

LINDSAY LOHAN – might plead no contest on her felony theft charge. Funny how she lost the will to fight right after bin Laden died. Coincidence? (popeater)

FAST FIVE – set box office records for biggest opening of 2011, biggest opening ever in April, and biggest opening ever for Universal as it pulled in $145 million worldwide this weekend. Let the Oscar buzz begin! (deadline)

VANESSA HUDGENS – was in a bikini down in Mexico with Ashley Tisdale this weekend, though you’d barely know it from the pictures, which focus on Tisdale for some reason. I think the photographer has low self esteem. (splash news)