Alessandra Ambrosio In A White Bikini

By Lex August 25, 2014 @ 2:56 PM

Alessandra Ambrosio In A White Bikini At The Beach In Malibu
For good looking Brazilian women, the work really never stops. Pilates and yoga. That’s daily. Feel like a burger? Fuck you, nibble on  pea shoot through Christmas. Too tired to go to the beach again today? Suck it up. Strap on that crotch padded fish tail and get your hair blowing in the onshore breeze. While you’re at it, push out a couple kids because Victoria’s Secret models and NFL running backs have the same career longevity. Your insurance policy used to be your ass in a short skirt? Congratulations. You passed thirty.  Now it’s your kids.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet, AKM-GSI

Alessandra Ambrosio In A Bikini

By Lex August 12, 2014 @ 3:32 PM

Alessandra Ambrosio In A Colorful Bikini At The Beach In Honolulu
Hot moms in inflatable children’s inner tubes are kind of my thing. It’s like they know something. From behind their orange Jell-O like rings of aloofness, they have extra sensory insight into the human condition and sexual psyche of the male of the species. She could also just be trying to hide her pee. Which is even hotter.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI

Alessandra Ambrosio Has New Boobs

By Lex August 04, 2014 @ 1:06 PM

Alessandra Ambrosio In A Orange Bikini At The Beach In Malibu
I think there’s some kind of Victoria’s Secret internal memo that goes out when one of their key models gets a lift. Distributed to the catalog marketing chiefs in Ohio as well as the chief seamstress in Macao who then relays on the new measurements to supervisors throughout the indigenous tribal regions of Southeast Asia. If they rang a bell every time some model or actress got new tits, L.A. would sound like Rome. It’s nothing special. Unless it’s the pair you’re squeezing like a porn star during sex, then it becomes your world.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI

Alessandra Ambrosio Understands the Internet

By Lex July 30, 2014 @ 2:25 PM

Alessandra Ambrosio Posts A Bikini Photo To Instagram
I get offer letters every day from people selling consulting services on how to better understand the Internet. Obviously, you need paid counseling to comprehend the complex equation that tits and sports and gambling account for 98% of all male Internet online activity. So entirely different than offline, plus or minus half a percent. Alessandra Ambrosio understands the Internet. You don’t make the move from Brazil to Brentwood without knowing how to manipulate innate human desire. I don’t even know which ass is hers. And I don’t care. That’s the genius. The intersection of arousal and not giving a shit is where men erect their Honeycomb Hideouts.

Photo Credit: Alessandra Ambrosio/Instagram

Alessandra Ambrosio Sucks On A Lollipop

By Lex July 21, 2014 @ 3:22 PM

Alessandra Ambrosio Sucks On A Lollipop For A Lingerie Photo Shoot In Rio De Janeiro

Alessandra Ambrosio was back in her native Brazil portraying a street whore sucking on a lollipop. At some point we’ll see Hillary Clinton pushing this same pose in her continuing ‘I’m just like you’ common woman image rebuild. For Alessandra, she’s playing on one of the archetypal characters in Brazilian lore. The saucy Rio street walker. She’s like our Statue of Liberty. Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to free and I will steal their kidneys while they’re unconscious in the motel that Gustavo supervises. That’s a loose translation.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI

Alessandra Ambrosio Does Mommy Well

By Lex June 03, 2014 @ 2:58 PM

Alessandra Ambrosio Cleavy In Tights After A Work Out In Brentwood
Moms who show off their boobs and ass and panties bunched up in their crotch are really the best kind of moms. My mom used to give out missile pops to the kids in the neighborhood so they wouldn’t believe me when I told them how she routinely beat me after losing in Indian Bingo. Clever, but not nearly as effective as being the super hot mom. If Alessandra Ambrosio coldly slaughtered six school children in front of you then told you not to tell or they’d not let the two of you and her tits be together anymore, you’d keep quiet until the tits ran out. That’s just how these things go. If we had a hot looking female President, she’d respond to all the grousing this morning by saying ‘negotiating with the Taliban makes me horny’ then suck on her forefinger. All the men would shut up and nod their heads and go back to imagining banging her in the Oval Office while the Secret Service lightly applauds.

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News, FameFlynet,