Mexico Seems Nice, Part 79

By Lex September 24, 2015 @ 12:51 PM


Like the human body, the U.S. has a shithole to its South. The new extracurricular activity in Mexico is for drug cartel workers to spend their off days kidnapping men, women, and children who might have relatives in the U.S. with more disposable cash than the $372 average annual income of the locals. Ali Landry, the smoking hot Dorito’s Girl in the 1998 Super Bowl commercial, had her father-in-law and brother-in-law kidnapped by some entrepreneurs down Mexico way. They called her Mexican born filmmaker husband, Alejandro Gómez Monteverde, and demanded ransom. They wanted enough money to live like kings forever in Mexico, or ten grand, whichever was higher, in exchange for the release of his brother and father who ran a restaurant together in Tampico.

Monteverde and Landry paid the kidnappers who promptly took the money and ran, but not before killing his brother and father. It’s Mexico. A kidnapping rep doesn’t get you nearly as far as a stone cold killer resume. Stories like these might shift that numbers higher on that big ass Trump Wall business. A wall won’t stop the kidnappings and murders, but we can start saying shit like, ‘That’s what they get for living outside the wall.”. Use adobe to be culturally sensitive. Cover it with soccer player reliefs. Maybe get Fanta to sponsor. When they see it going up, the Mexicans are going to have to admit they had it coming.

Photo credit: Instagram

Ali Landry Is Pregnant Again

By Travis March 07, 2013 @ 11:00 AM

Ali Landry has never done much to actually be considered famous, other than win Miss USA, star in a Doritos commercial and marry the guy who played Slater on Saved by the Bell for a whopping two weeks. But people still talk about her because she’s ridiculously gorgeous. And her husband is well aware of how good she looks, because he can’t seem to keep his pants on around her.

The one-time Eve star is expecting her third child, a boy, with hubby Alejandro Monteverde, E! News has exclusively confirmed.

The newest addition to the family will join a big, bouncing brood: The couple also has a 5-year-old daughter, Estela Ines, and a 1-year-old son, Marcelo Alejandro. (E!)

Monteverde is a Mexican director, but he doesn’t really direct movies that often. You can’t blame him, though, because if you’re married to Ali Landry, you’re probably just going to want to stay home and have sex with her 24/7. He probably has an online chat group called “Men with 39-Year Old Wives”, but it’s a trick because he just posts pictures of Landry with “BOOM, SUCK IT, PUSSIES”.

Ali Landry is a good paddle boarder

By brendon October 01, 2012 @ 6:00 PM


Ali Landry went paddle boarding in Maui over the weekend, and “Hawaiian paddle board instructor” seems like a pretty good job. Not only do you get to stare down Ali Landrys top and right at her ass, but if someone like Paris Hilton showed up you could attach a bucket of chum to the back of her board before sending her out. “Okay, yeah, just keep going straight out, have fun.”

(image source = pacific coast, splash, fame/flynet)

Ali Landry still looks incredible in a bikini

By brendon January 07, 2011 @ 6:11 PM


Ali Landry wore a purple and white (geaux tigers!) bikini on the beach in Malibu today, and there better have been something pretty god damn important going on for there to only be 8 pictures of it. Was there some kind of Godzilla attack or something that I don’t know about, did he roar out of the sea and stomp on Pepperdine?

(source = bauer griffin)

Ali Landry is still mostly awesome

By brendon August 10, 2009 @ 3:15 PM


Natasha Henstridges birthday party Saturday was sponsored by Absolute vodka (for some reason) and one of the hot bitches there was Ali Landry. At least she was hot most of the time. Then she went outside and put on that goofy hat and those asinine sunglasses. It’s important to protect yourself from the sun, but that doesn’t mean you have to dress like Truman Capote.

You may find this very hard to believe Ali, but very few sexy girls get compared to Truman Capote. Would you like to know why that is? Go on and guess.

Ali Landry is the winner

By brendon July 13, 2009 @ 9:34 AM


It’s been a few years since Ali Landry was considered a big deal but she proved in Malibu this weekend that she’s still gettin it done, even after a kid at age 35. She was of course Miss Teen USA in 1990, and Miss Louisiana and Miss USA in 1996. I’m biased but this is typical. Louisiana has tons of hot ass like this. I think because it’s always 900 fucking degrees. Bringing in the groceries is like 75 minutes on the elliptical machine. Louisiana is awesome at producing super hot bitches, flamboyant gays, gun-toting inbreds, and terrifying defensive lineman filled with rage. Which one was I? Gun toting inbred, right? Wrong. Flamboyant gay.

(6 more pics here. hq jump here. source = splash news online)