The most amazing thing about this clip from yesterdays "The View" is that Dina Lohan is still claiming that her daughter Lindsay is pretty much an average 21-year-old, and her problems are the kind of things “we all did” at 21. Like, remember the time we went to rehab for the third time when we were 20? My goodness! We laugh about it now, but in hindsight I guess it was pretty serious. Or when we partied away a million dollar Hollywood career because instead of working and studying, we decided it would be more fun to get drunk and high and fuck a couple hundred guys, then later we decided we were gay. What a cliché we were!
The only question that remains now is, can Dina fuck up her second daughter’s life as completely as she fucked up the first? I think I'm gonna find some crazy online sports book and bet that, yes, she can. I can’t explain it, I’ve just got a lucky feeling.
Lindsay Lohans little sister Ali has an interview with Teen Vogue this month or week or whatever that thing is, and in it she puts to rest any doubt that being an empty headed vapid fame whore is genetic.
ON MAKING IT IN HOLLYWOOD: "I want it so bad. So bad you don't even know. And now, it's actually happening." ALI, ON BIG SISTER LINDSAY: "I grew up watching Lindsay, and it made me want to do what she does. Just the whole vibe. Being there, being on camera, or onstage, with everybody listening to you…it's so cool when people look up to you. I've already been asked for my autograph, and it's just a really good feeling to have." ALI, ON HER NEW REALITY TV SHOW: "It's not all that fake stuff. It's just what we do in our everyday life."
Well they better do some fake stuff because Ali is 14. What the hell is a 14 year old gonna do, take care of her turtle and eat pizza? Either way, her dumb ass better embrace it while she can. In 10 years she's gonna go from people asking for her autograph to people asking, "can a nigga get a table dance?"
According to InTouch Weekly, Freckletits' 13-year-old sister Ali was involved in a car wreck after sneaking out of the house to meet a boy.
Ali had snuck out of the house to be with her friend, a 16-year-old boy who has a learner’s permit. He had taken the car without his mother’s permission,” says the insider. “Luckily, she was not hurt.”
Now, to old fogies like you and me, 16 and 13 aren't all that different. But that's a sophomore in high school dating an 8th grader. What a stud, I wasn't getting any action from junior high chicks until I was well into my twenties.
But let's backtrack: 'snuck out of the house'? You mean Dina Lohan's house? Yeah, I bet she had to be fuckin' MacGyver to pull that one off.
"Bye mom, I'm gonna go meet up with this Nigerian banker I met on Craigslist."
(looks up from her pile of coke) "Huh? What? Oh, okay, have fun. Call me if you need a cashier's check."
Poor girl. She'd be better off being raised by Michael Vick. Freckletits is such a bad example. Ali should try to be more like Hayden Pantiesrarely, who looks healthy and is cute like a baby polar bear. -LM
Ali Lohan wrote an email to the VH1 blog 24/Sizzle (seriously the worst god damn name I've ever heard) to tell them that her father has been lying recently about his relationship with Lindsay and their family. Ali says:
Hi david this is ali lohan, i want everybody to know the truth out there. My mom is a single mom of four children she has always been there for us, she was my mother and father and still is. My father is telling all lies to people and saying he was such a great dad and was always there for us, my father was never there for us, My mom was always there souporting us. i think that the whole reason why my sister is upset with her self and not as cofident, is because of my dad not being around, and always staying out late and not coming home for days, he would come back home never himself, he was always was making excuses for his bad behavior . And would always blame my mother. He just wants everybody in the world knowing that he was a great dad. He wasnt that is all a lie. I just want my sister to stick throught this okay, and my mother and brothers and i are there for my sister 100% and have always been. I’ve wanted to say this for so long and get this out there and let everyone know that our family is like a normal family but of course we are put under a microscope because of lindsays fame, lindsay will be fine she is just going through a rough time right now but she will be fine. i know this for a fact. My sisters is just like a normal sister. her and I have so much in common. My mother and sister are huge insperations to me, they have made it through so much in there lives. Thankyou for your time god bless, Ali
Wow, that was compelling. It really made me Hey shouldn't this chicks boobs have come in by now. What is she, a dwarf? She better have a big giant rack like her sister because she looks a little bit like the red dwarf in Lord of the Rings, and that's maybe not the most flattering comparison in the world.
