Alix Tichelman May Be A Serial Really Bad Prostitute

By Matt July 11, 2014 @ 7:36 AM

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The prostitute who watched a Google exec die after she injected him with heroin had another male love interest who coincidentally overdosed and died two months ago. According to her statement, she was in the shower and heard someone fall down, at which point she called 911 and reported the overdose. When asked how she knew it was an overdose she responded:

“Because there’s nothing else it could be.”

What like murder or a rogue foul ball or something? To be fair, when you’re doing speedballs the odds of being struck by lightening or accidentally getting that deadly blowfish in your sushi to-go order are exceedingly low. Tichelman also posted this mirthful murder manifesto on what appears to be her Facebook page dedicated to the awesomeness that is heroin:

“It’s really nice to talk with someone about killing sprees and murdering people in cold blood…and they love it too… No judgement… Yay! Fuck all of that positivity bullshit. Take a look around you. Life is hard and then you die.”

Tichelman has clearly been toe-tagging billionaires left and right for a reason. She’s stealing their money. Only the super rich act this arrogant in the face of indisputable evidence. Nobody with a 49 foot yacht or less would have the entitlement to brag about murdering someone and think they’d get away with it. I’m guessing she has enough stashed to pay off a judge and hire a G6 to fly her to Belize where murder is not only legal, it’s laughed about openly in the village sqaures. Once there she can fuck and kill Mark McAfee and his 12 year old wife and proceed with her plans of world domination. It’s also possible she’s just a junkie whore who gets wasted and makes bad decisions. With the slightest bit of reflection time, I’m leaning toward the latter.

Photo Credit: Instagram 

Alix Tichelman Arrested For Killing Google Executive With Kindness and Heroin

By Lex July 09, 2014 @ 12:25 PM

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If this chick’s name is actually pronounced Tickle-Man, this becomes the best crime story ever.

Forrest will be remembered above all as a loving husband and father. More than anything else he enjoyed spending time with his family at home and on his boat.

That was Google executive Forrest Hayes’ obit after he was found croaked on his yacht last Fall. I guess loving dad also liked to spend time on his boat with expensive escorts with party drugs. Like aspiring model Alix Tichelman who police eventually ID’d from security video as the woman who shot up Hayes with a needle full of heroin then wiped down the scene and ditched when lover boy when into overdose mode. Apparently it’s second degree murder in the Silicon Valley when your John OD’s on his Google funded yacht. I guess she could’ve called for help, you know, like prostitutes do in the movies where they look like Julia Roberts and have amusing banter with their coworkers over salads. In order to lure Alix back to Santa Cruz where the crime was committed, police pretended to be hiring her for a $1,000 4th of July fuck in a fancy hotel in Santa Cruz. She showed up in her finest crotchless panties and they arrested her on the spot. That’s some Hercules Poirot meets Craigslist shit right there.

All of Hayes’ friends and co-workers are writing gushingly nice things about him on memorial web pages. I’m sure he was a helluva fellow. But he was also a dude who banged prostitutes and shot up heroin on the yacht he named Escape.  It’s hard not to feel like maybe he lacked foresight, if not irony. His family can rest easy knowing his sordid tale will not come up in European Google search results six months from now.

Photo Credit: Alix Catherine Tichelman/Facebook