Alyssa Milano Works Them Bigguns

By Lex December 09, 2014 @ 2:10 PM

Alyssa Milano Shows Post Baby Cleavage At The In To The Woods Premiere In NYC
Ever since Alyssa Milano and her mom went Lone Ranger and Tonto across the Internet lassoing up all her titty pictures, she’s felt a certain sense of regret. This roundup occurred before the science had been settled as to how amazing a career boost having your tubes exposed in the digital wankspace could be. What was once thought damaging to landing roles soon became chicks posting signs up at JuCo engineering departments daring hackers to find their beaver shots in the cloud. Now Alyssa Milano is scrambling to make up for her titty media divot by showing off her milk laden boobs anywhere there’s a camera or a Tweet button. Sadly, the market place for sallies is less strong at forty with an infant sucking on the business end. I’m sure Alyssa will tell you she doesn’t regret all the plum roles she lost due to her holy tit crusade against the Internet, but deep down, right between those swollen boobs of hers, she bears the truth.

Photo Credit: INF/AKM-GSI

Alyssa Milano Wants More Attention

By Lex November 14, 2014 @ 12:57 PM

Alyssa-Milano-Post-Breast-Feeding-Picture-On-Instagram

Inserting yourself into a controversy that doesn’t actually exist is a tried and true way of receiving media attention. Alyssa Milano is complaining about the outrage over her breastfeeding pictures on Instagram while Kim Kardashian can pose naked and nobody seems to care.

Wait! I don’t get it. No disrespect to Kim but… people are offended by my breastfeeding selfies & are fine with her (amazing) booty cover?

I’m not sure any of that is actually true. Nobody but Star Magazine reading outliers gives a shit about shaming breastfeeding women anymore. Repeatedly posting pictures of yourself breastfeeding, that’s going to draw some comments. Most especially when half the world knows you as that chick who sued the Internet to shutdown topless celebrity photos. This in contrast to Kim Kardashian who half the world knows as a shameless porn star who can suck cash out of a man’s wallet by drafting air into her open twat from fifty feet away. What are people supposed to express when she appears naked in magazines? Shock and awe and only a semi-erection?

I’m pretty sure Alyssa Milano just said this to get attention and now I’ve given it to her so I feel like a schmuck. I’m going to imagine sucking on her tit and lay myself down for a nap.

Alyssa Milano Posts Titty Photo Without Irony

By Lex October 28, 2014 @ 9:45 AM

Alyssa Milano Post Breast Feeding Picture On Instagram
It seems like just yesterday Alyssa Milano and her mom were suing everybody with a dial-up and a dick for passing around photos of Alyssa topless. Those Brave Internet Warriors were on the front lines preventing the digital landscape from turning into a pornographic wasteland. Thanks to the Milanos, when you Google: Tits, only 148, million results appear, only 741,000 for Alyssa Milano Tits.

Today we’ve come full circle with Alyssa posting pictures of her own boobs to the world wide web. Nursing photos aren’t exactly Alyssa topless in Embrace of the Vampire but they are a woman showing off her intimate bits for publicity. It’s the Circle of Tit Life, you lambaste people for wanting to see them when you’re young then beg everybody to look at them when it’ too late to care. Not even the specials are immune to this reality.

Photo Credit: Instagram

Alyssa Milano Done Got Fat Shamed

By Lex January 03, 2014 @ 5:08 PM

Fat shaming started when chubby people stopped being tribal kings with access to abundant food sources and just lazy bastards with bullshit glandular issues. It’s only been officially called fat shaming since the big and chunky tried to reclaim their jiggling figures as a social positive and needed a way to make fat jokesters look like heartless monsters. Alyssa Milano got fat shamed by Jay Mohr who was surprised by her wide body when he saw her at the NASCAR Awards in early December.

She was one of the presenters. She’s very tiny, in height…It seems like she had a baby and said, ‘I don’t really give a s–t’…I read it on her gut..

Somebody sat in the director’s chair and was not wearing Spanx and I was like, ‘Jesus Christ.

Oh, slam. I mean, fat shame. That’s what Alyssa Milano called it when she wrote back a purposefully classy Tweet to Jay Mohr, filled with positive messages for him and his wife and kids but calling out Jay’s fat shaming. Since then, large lovely ladies have been slobbering praise on Alyssa like she’s the first true zero calorie cheesecake bite. Jay Mohr probably should’ve kept his fat jokes to himself. For a couple cheap chuckles he’s unleashed an entire fat girl army. I wonder if it’ll still seem so funny when the first wave of berserker BBWs descend from their mountainous camps with the aid of gravity and murderous rage. It’s hard to laugh when you can’t breathe.

Alyssa Milano Still Using Her Boobs To Sell

By Lex July 17, 2013 @ 4:19 PM

Alyssa Milano Cleavage Outside NBC Studios In New York
Remember when Alyssa Milano and her annoying helpful mom started suing everybody to get her racy photos off the Internet? Those were fun days. When the Internet was in its infancy and people thought that they could hold back the tide with their little buckets and a whole bunch of righteousness. Now Alyssa is pushing a graphic novel about a secret team of do-gooder hackers who help finish the job she and her mom started fifteen years ago. I’m willing to bet that isn’t quite as popular as those topless photos of her. <=== Of course, they’re still on the web.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet, INF, PCN

Alyssa Milano looks different

By brendon August 31, 2011 @ 2:57 PM

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Alyssa Milano went to a spa in LA earlier today, probably because she needed a massage from carrying around what looks to be a 6 foot tall baby. She announced she was pregnant at the end of February, so she’s probably due any day, but holy christ. Her vagina is gonna look like someone set off M-80′s inside of it.

(image source = pacific coast)