Photo Credit: W Magazine
Photo Credit: W Magazine
There are two ways an actress can earn my respect. The first is by having the gumption to take her clothes off in a major motion picture. I can’t remember the second. Even though Amanda Seyfried looks a little bit like the super pale girl they rescue out of some German butcher’s basement after ten years in captivity, I admire how often she takes off her clothes for her work. Her calves are majestic.
Photo Credit: Splash
Amanda Seyfried is a hot 27-year old actress who has become a leading lady in roles that aren’t quite award-worthy but are still better than 99% of the shit out there, while Justin Long is a 35-year old actor who looks like he was picked out of a crowd to be the before picture in an AXE commercial. Despite the fact that it makes no sense whatsoever, these two are apparently dating and they confirmed it by attending the U.S. Open together this weekend.
The only thing I could think of is that Amanda is so alternative and against-the-grain that dating the Apple commercial doofus actually seems cool to her, or she’s blind. In which case – not bad, Justin.
(Photo Credit: Joel Ginsburg/WENN.com)
Amanda Seyfried is making the rounds to support her upcoming film Lovelace, which is a biopic of porn star Linda Lovelace, who starred in a film called Dog Fucker before making it big in the 1972 adult film classic Deep Throat. Whether or not Amanda’s effort covers that whole dog fucking part will be up to the film to explain, but you’d watch. You know you would.
Amanda stopped by the Late Show with David Letterman last night, and she was greeted by former alcoholic homeless man and ironic movie and TV star actor Radioman. And for the sake of stirring up controversy, I’ll just assume that he got her pregnant. That guy’s a regular George Clooney.
(Photo Credits: Dan Jackman/WENN.com)
If you’re wondering if it’s worth seeing an R-rated movie about an X-rated film star, you probably answered your own question. Though as my progressive female friend ‘Jo’ told me, the film is not about porn, it’s about spousal abuse. Oh, boy. I’m not saying that spousal abuse isn’t entertaining, I’m just saying it’s not as fresh as a woman whose clit is in her throat.
Amanda Seyfried has a strange theory about her incredible shrinking tits: It’s Hollywood’s fault. This would seem counter-intuitive as Hollywood usually prefers their titties off the Big and Beefy menu. When she was a youngin’, in such films as Mean Girls and that show where Bill Paxton is a polygamist, she says her hooters were glorious. She told noted breast aficionado Ellen Degeneres:
”I looked way better when I was 15. I had beautiful huge breasts and then I came to Hollywood and I was like, ‘I got to lose weight. I got to look thin and fit.’ And I lost them a little bit.”
It is a bit of a paradox, isn’t it? Hollywood wants actresses to both have giant tits and yet be Karen Carpenter thin. I guess that’s why God invented breast implants. Fret now, Amanda. Half a cup size isn’t going to deter me from holding up the DVD cover of Mama Mia with one hand.