dont you dare give Amanda Seyfried a parking ticket

By brendon April 08, 2011 @ 1:59 PM

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Amanda Seyfried is right on the verge of being a big star, so if you even think of putting a parking ticket on her car as if she wasn’t a big star, you can fuck off.

And that’s exactly what happened last night in London after the premiere of Red Riding Hood. So she threw it back at the cop and said, “Thank you, but no thank you.” Then the cop locked her in one of those blank iron masks like they used to use in the Tower of London. Oh wait never mind. I forgot, she always looks like that.

(image source = bauer griffin)

Ryan Phillippe got some new girl pregnant

By brendon March 14, 2011 @ 4:35 PM

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Though he’s since moved on to Amanda Seyfriend, Ryan Phillippe briefly dated an actress named Alexis Knapp, and like all girls named “Alexis”, this one was kind of slutty and irresponsible. People says…

Alexis Knapp, an actress who dated Phillippe last summer, is pregnant and, a source says, “Alexis has told friends that the child is Ryan’s.”
The baby is said to be due in June.
Reps for Knapp and Phillippe did not have any comment. But the source tells PEOPLE that “Ryan is aware of the situation [and] totally prepared to take responsibility should the child be his.”

Wait so when did they stop dating? I know girls aren’t good at math but if they dated last summer I don’t think his baby would be born this summer. In her defense, she looks 13. She might not even know where babies come from. Where the fuck did he meet her, at his front door selling cookies?

(image source = pacific coast)

Rihanna and Ryan Phillippe “totally had sex.”

By brendon February 23, 2011 @ 3:31 PM

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Last week there was a rumor that Ryan Philippe, who is supposed to be dating Amanda Seyfried, was hitting on Rihanna, but then people were saying Ryan was really still with Amanda and Rihanna was sexting Colin Farrell. Now Us says that Rihanna and Ryan have been hooking up for months. Who says Hollywood is like high school?

Though Rihanna, 23, appeared to blow off Phillippe, 36, at a brunch in L.A. on Feb. 12, a second insider says it was actually just the opposite — and that the two had a sleepover that very night!
“She thinks he’s hot. They totally had sex. And it wasn’t even the first time!”
“They initially hooked up back in early December,” says a Rihanna source … then reconnected at a charity event Feb. 19.
The next day, he went to her 23rd birthday party at a Beverly Hills home.
“They hung out a bit, but were discreet. It is still very casual.”
Sums up another source, “Clearly they’re keeping it on the downlow.

Next week, Us will be reporting that Erin is a total bitch, did you see the way she was looking at Brad, Kelly is not going anywhere with her. In my yearbook, she was all, “Have a Gr8 summer!!” but that fake bitch didn’t mean it.

Monday morning headlines

By brendon February 21, 2011 @ 12:41 PM

holly madison hand print 210211

UNKNOWN – won the weekend box office with $21.8 million, but the heavily hyped I Am Number Four only managed 3rd place with 19.2. So apparently you can be a brooding teenager with special powers and a forbidden love all you want, but if you’re not a vampire, fuck off. (deadline)

DIANNA AGRON AND ALEX PETTYFER – are the stars of I Am Number Four, and they’ve dated for about a year, until this weekend, when they broke up. So overall it was a great weekend for these two. Maybe today they’ll fall down the stairs and swallow a bee. (us)

AMANDA SEYFRIED AND RYAN PHILLIPPE – reportedly broke up last week, but they were making out Friday night at L Bar in Hollywood. Or so she thinks, thanks to those pills I put in her drink. (star)

HOLLY MADISON – had her hands cast in cement outside the Planet Hollywood at Caesars Palace in Vegas. Because that’s why she’s famous. Her hands. (wenn)

afternoon headlines

By brendon February 16, 2011 @ 7:43 PM

Vanessa Hudgens

AMANDA SEYFRIED – moved into a new house today, but without the help of her boyfriend Ryan Phillipe. Probably because he was busy hitting on Rihanna. But what do you expect, he’s not magic, he can’t be in two places at once. Be reasonable. (us.com)

GLEE – has only been on the air for 2 seasons, but they’ve now had 113 songs on the Billboard Top 100, breaking the previous record of 108, held by Elvis. Hopefully this little fact won’t get mentioned in a Memphis hate crime trial at some point. (e!)

HALLE BERRY – and her ex Gabriel Aubry have reached an amicable custody arrangement for their daughter. At least that’s what the headline implied. I got pretty bored after that. (huff post)

VANESSA HUDGENS – gets it. Even in New York, in February, she still wears really short dresses that show off her legs. But not too short. Hopefully someone was nice enough to point out that you can’t see her vagina, even if you look really hard. I bet she would appreciate that.

Amanda Seyfried knows how to dress

By brendon November 08, 2010 @ 1:47 PM

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Amanda Seyfried plays a stripper in a new movie which either has the terrible name I’m.mortal or the terrible name Now (just combine them Hollywood. you know you want to), and what they lack in movie naming skills they make up for in slutty outfit choosing. I haven’t seen an outfit this whorish since I went on a date with your mom. Zing!