Amber Heard Used to Be a Decent Lesbian

By Lex April 09, 2014 @ 3:19 PM

Amber Heard Poses In Lingerie Photographed By Ellen Von Unwerth For DT Spain
I can’t bring myself to get excited over Amber Heard any longer. She was cool when she was she-boning other model girls and coming up looking like a million sweaty bucks. Then she got engaged or consciously coupled or some such shit with Johnny Depp and suddenly she was just another one of the same. That scissor kissing bit is a nice hook. Everybody’s kind of tired of the pudgy drama kids coming out, but when a tall hot blonde announces she digs cooter on cooter, that’s still a big deal. Or it was. Until Amber Heard went and ruined everything.

Photo Credit: DT Spain

Amber Heard Brought A 1920s Gangster To Her Movie Premiere

By Travis February 13, 2014 @ 10:00 AM

Johnny Depp has appeared to have moved on from his two-decade run as a living rock star pirate in favor of this new look as an early 20th century gangster, or at least a middle-aged asshole who still shows up to swing revivals. He joined his girlfriend Amber Heard at the premiere for her new film, 3 Days to Kill, which is a really original movie about a retired spy with a family who has to go back to work to stop a bad guy from killing a bunch of people, because only he’s the only guy who knows how to stop the terrorists. Johnny wouldn’t know that, though, because he and Amber probably sat in the back of the theater, rolling their own cigarettes and drinking wine from a flask in between makeout sessions, before her mom stormed in and shouted, “I told you to never see this boy again!”

Photo Credits: Apega/Nikki Nelson/

Amber Heard Is Proud To Be Bisexual

By Lex August 15, 2013 @ 11:35 AM

Amber Heard At The Premiere For 'Paranoia' In Los Angeles
I like people who are proud of their sexuality. Gay, straight, bi, they like to violate blue belly lizards, I don’t give a crap. I admire the heck out of them. I’ve never been proud of my sexuality. Like most dudes, I only crow every third new moon when I ‘git some’. Amber Heard made the bold decision to go public with the fact that she’ll fuck both really famous actors and also super hot women. That’s not exactly bisexual so much as it is just really fucking lucky.

Photo Credit: Getty, WENN

Johnny Depp turns gay women straight

By brendon June 27, 2012 @ 3:05 PM


Amber Heard has been cured of her homosexuality, and she didn’t even need to go to prayer camp. All she needed was for Johnny Depp to buy her a horse.

Reports surfaced recently that (Heard) received a horse from Depp, her ‘Rum Diary’ costar, as a present.
The actress, who dated female photographer Tasya van Ree for several years, has been quite open about her affinity for Depp. She told Guest of a Guest last year that working with him “is everything you’d hope working with Johnny Depp would be. He’s absolutely amazing, as far as his talent and him as a person.”

So does this mean they’re having sex? Yes, yes it does. Probably. She was gay, but Depp is so handsome she hurdled that minor obstacle and ripped his pants off the second they were alone. Just like your mom when I came over to your house that time and you weren’t there yet. Zing!

Amanda Heard at the 5th annual Heaven Gala

By brendon January 16, 2012 @ 6:09 PM


Amber Heard would probably be annoyed to know that I imagine her having sex with other girls every time I see her, but she should have thought of that before she started having sex with other girls. So if she’s not mature enough to admit that there’s a lot of blame to go around on this, well then quite frankly I guess Amber just has a lot of growing up to do.

(image source of amber saturday night at elysiums 5th annual heaven gala, whatever the hell that is = splash, getty and wenn)

Amber Heards girlfriend took topless pictures of her

By brendon December 19, 2011 @ 4:27 PM


Amber Heards girlfriend is a respected photographer named Tasya van Ree, and blah blah blah blah topless pictures of Amber. Though it’s hard to tell how many.

Most of the ones here should be of Amber, but Tasyas website has a bunch more that might be, with fancy pictures of naked girls all over the place. There’s naked girls getting on the floor, naked girls in some role play and fetish and asphyxiation thing, and naked girls who look like they’re about to start scissoring now that they’re alone. Today finally confirms everything Penthouse taught me about lesbians when I was 12.

(source = tasya van ree, and these pictures are all SFW because they’re in black and white which makes them artistic tits as opposed to pornographic tits)