STUFF FROM ALL OVER

By brendon April 03, 2008 @ 5:49 AM

TOM CRUISE IS FUNNY – The New York Times says an industry screening Tuesday night for the Ben Stiller movie "Tropic Thunder" – the one where Robert Downy Jr plays a black guy – was noteworthy mostly for the surprise cameo by Tom Cruise as a fat, balding and ruthless movie executive.  The uncredited cameo was supposed to be a surprise, as Cruise is not included in any commercials or promotional material, but you can find a picture of him in character here.  What you won't find is the strength to open your heart and love again.  That’s been inside you the whole time.

THAT GIRL WAS VOTED OFF – People magazine says that Ramiele Malubay was voted off American Idol last night, and they say it in the hottest way possible.  “It was an all-female bottom three as Brooke White and Kristy Lee Cook joined Ramiele Malubay…”    Rawr.  What a sexy show this is.

HEATHER MILLS IS CLEVER – Heather Mills was seen on her way to Los Angeles yesterday in black wig, a cunning disguise that caused many to say, "Hey look, there’s Heather Mills in a black wig".  Plan B: a handlebar mustache and monocle.



BULGARIAN IDOL IS WAY WAY BETTER

By brendon March 19, 2008 @ 11:06 AM

If you’re not keeping up with the Bulgarian version of "American Idol", your life isn't as happy and dance filled as it should be. I don't think I'm exaggerating one bit when i say this young man may be the most electrifying singer of our generation.

(relive the magic from last weeks episode)



SOME GUY USED TO DO SOMETHING

By brendon March 04, 2008 @ 11:00 AM

The Daily News quotes a report by the Associated Press saying that American Idol finalist David Hernandez, "appeared fully nude and performed lap dances for the club's mostly male clientèle" at a gay strip club in Phoenix (*).  The story was seemingly first reported by the scourge of American Idol, Vote For The Worst.  This is mostly noteworthy because David claims to be straight.  A few quotes from VFTW:

Since we posted the article, we've gotten nothing but confirmation posts from people coming out of the woodwork, and we learned his stripper name was Caden:
tk_az- "He most definitely was a stripper at Dick's Cabaret. And he is a prick too. Gave me a lap dance one night that I didn't even ask for, then demanded $40 for it."
AZBornAndRaised- "These "rumors" are 100% TRUE! I personally saw him at Dick's Caberet where his boyfriend actually stripped, too. Both of them are totally hot!"
PhoenixBoi- "I will 100% confirm this rumor is true too! I met him at Burn about a year ago when he worked there. I also encountered him at Dick's Cabaret about 6 months ago. “Caden” gave me one of the best lap dances ever and I will never forget it. He said he was bi, but I could care less."
admdavid- "Yes, he is/was a stripper at Dick's. He has a very hot boyfriend. He's sung karaoke at BS West with his very hot boyfriend looking on. I've run into him at Amsterdam and Charlie's before, too."

If all of that isn’t proof enough, just look at those jazz hands.  That, my friends, is a guy who jacks guys off, no doubt about it.  And he does it with Razzmatazz.

(*) editors note – Ryan also lives in Phoenix.  Coincidence?  Maybe, maybe not.



I MISS WILLIAM HUNG

By brendon January 16, 2008 @ 1:15 PM

Last nights "American Idol" premiere had the usual collection of retards trying to be funny and failing miserably. Us magazine says these were the three worst auditions (other two here), but the only one with William Hungs showmanship and star quality is the Star Wars chick.  She even does a wookie impression.  Why?  Because her life is fantastic. 

THE DREAM IS OVER

By brendon April 19, 2007 @ 10:10 AM

Last night, Sanjaya was finally voted off of "American Idol". I have no idea if that's good or not because I've never watched this show and I have no idea if he can sing, but his sister has really big tits, so I for one am outraged.  The clip is still fun though because Sanjaya gets the news, then hugs some girl I've never seen before for far longer than is appropriate. Then he hugs her some more and they stand there hugging. Finally, the hug marathon ends and the girl goes and hugs someone else while Sanjaya cries. I think I can say now without hesitation that this show is unquestionably queer. 

BORAT? REALLY?

By brendon March 09, 2007 @ 4:30 PM

The much talked American Idol season finale will be more than just the final episode where the winner is reveled, it will be a ambitious poverty-relief campaign, with guest performances by Gwen Stefani, Josh Groban, Pink, Michael Bubl, Annie Lennox, Il Divo and Borat.  MTV.com says:

The April 24-25 episodes are aimed at raising awareness and funds for poverty-relief organizations helping children in the United States and Africa.  The first night will find the top six finalists on the show singing "life anthems" about hope and compassion, with show sponsors Coke and AT&T donating money to charity for every vote cast via phone or text message. The next night's show will feature the celebrity lineup, which was put together by "Idol" judge Simon Cowell. The money raised from the special programs will be split between organizations including the U.S. Fund for UNICEF, the Global Fund, Save the Children, Nothing but Nets and Malaria No More. In the United States, the money will be focused on organizations that deliver programs to some of the country's most disadvantaged children, while in Africa, funds will be used to provide health and education programs.

Wow.  That shit sounds depressing.  Honestly, the only way I would watch this nonsense is if it was projected onto Marissa Millers naked ass.