JLo and Steven Tyler are the new American Idol judges

Bored indifference is sweeping the nation today because there's been a series of reports, breaking one after another, about the new judges panel for American Idol. First Ellen DeGeneres announced on her twitter she was leaving after just one year, then Kara DioGuardi was fired so the show could go back to the original format of 3 judges instead of 4, then Deadline Hollywood announced Jennifer Lopez has been hired,...

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miley cyrus will be on 'american idol' this week

In what sounds like some sort of elaborate trick, Miley Cyrus will go on American Idol this week as a mentor to the remaining 11 contestants. Meaning she'll teach them what she knows about singing and a career in Hollywood. The winner will be determined by who can stifle their laughter the longest. USA Today says... Miley Cyrus will appear as a guest mentor on tomorrow night's show. The theme is Billboard No.1 Hits....

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what a sexy show this is

Last night 'American Idol' stopped in Dallas, where one of the contestants was a 23-year-old with a whip and wrapped in skin tight leather named Erica Rhodes. She dressed that way because she used to be in the cast of ‘Barney and Friends', and wanted to show the judges she wasn't the same sweet little girl they remembered. Of course the only reason they knew she used to be the sweet little girl they almost certainly...

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katy perry has had enough

Katy Perry was one of the guest judges last night on 'American Idol' when they stopped in LA, and you may find this hard to believe but she seemed to be annoyed by Kara DiWhateverhernameis, and even threatened to throw a drink in her face. Rawwrr! This kittens got claws! But the real zinger came when DioGuardi began belting out Perry's smash hit "I Kissed a Girl." Within seconds, Perry interrupted, "Please stop before...

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Little Nicky has his first single

Adam Lambert | MySpace Video When Little Nicky was on 'American Idol' last year, many were wondering what he was gonna do in the studio because on stage he was at his best when singing over the top insanity and screaming like a woman. The answer was to have Alain Johannes and Natasha Shneider, who played with Queens of the Stone Age on ‘Songs for the Deaf', write some over the top insanity where he could scream like a...

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paula vs. ellen, round 1

VH1 Divas | Divas Video Last night Paula Abdul channeled all her seething contempt for Ellen DeGeneres and opened the 2009 VH1 Divas concert by doing an impression of her. Meaning she dressed like a man and danced like she was smuggling something packed inside her anus. A better impression of Ellen would have been to have sex with Portia de Rossi, but only if we all went back to 1990 first. Point being, about an hour...

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Ellen has joined American Idol

Ellen DeGeneres is a mean-spirited ungrateful bitch who many, many people in Hollywood genuinely despise (more on that here). She also has no practical experience in the music industry. Combine these two things and it only makes sense that she's been named the fourth judge on 'American Idol'. I'm lying of course. What. The fuck. "DeGeneres will sit alongside Simon Cowell, Randy Jackson and Kara DioGuardi and offer her...

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Posh may be permanent

Victoria Beckham of course filled in for Paual Abdul when auditions began last week in Denver for season 9 of "American Idol", but according to producers it was to be a one time thing. And yet now E! is reporting that Victoria is on her way to Boston for the second round of judging as well. Could this mean she's already been named as the full time fourth judge? What about Katy Perry and Jessica Simpson, who were also...

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Afternoon Headlines

VICTORIA BECKHAM - was in Denver today to fill in for Paula Abdul on the first day of American Idol auditions. New rumors claim Paula may still return if they pay her 10M. To recap: Paula quit late Tuesday night, and by Friday morning the producers had replaced her with someone far smarter, hotter, younger and free. Ahh, well played Paula. I think someone has been reading "The Prince". (source = the ap) WILL SMITH AND...

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Good riddance jackass

Oh holy crap finally. Finally, finally, Paula Abduls dumb ass is off "American Idol", saying on her twitter page 11 hours ago: With sadness in my heart, I've decided not to return to Idol. I'll miss nurturing all the new talent, but most of all I'll miss being a part of a show that I helped from day 1 become an international phenomenon. There is so much wrong with the second half of that statement I don't even know...

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Paula deserves a raise

It goes without saying that Paula Abdul never has any idea WTF she's talking about. I've seen what people look like when they're high. What they look like is exactly like this. Which is a real hurdle when your contract is up and your job is to offer lucid commentary and pointed advice. The LA Times says… "Very sadly, it does not appear that she's going to be back on 'American Idol,' " David Sonenberg, Abdul's...

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Simon Cowell will make 144m

144 million dollars per season. 144 million. Dollars. One hundred. And forty-four. Million. Dollars. Per season. Which is five months long. 144 million dollars for five months. Five months. One hundred and forty-four million dollars to judge "American Idol". For five months. Fuck my life. "EARLY salary figures from Simon Cowell's 'American Idol' contract negotiations are leaking out and they're eye-popping. Cowell,...

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Best story ever?

Today will certainly be embarrassing for 2008 "American Idol" runner-up David Archuleta, and I'm sure he would appreciate everyone's understanding and discretion. But that sure as fuck isn't gonna happen here. Not after his pain-in-ass-dad got busted with his dick in a prostitute. Us magazine says... "The father of 'American Idol' runner-up David Archuleta was charged with soliciting a massage parlor prostitute,...

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Afternoon Headlines

MICHAEL LOHAN - Lindsays dad was apparently arrested on April 6th for threatening to kill his fiancée and himself when she tried to break up with him. I wonder if that worked. I normally just beg and cry and lay down in front of her tires. (source = ny post) AMERICAN IDOL - AT&T employees attended two "American Idol" parties in Kris Allens home state, and they brought demo phones and showed how to send up to 10...

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God this show is dumb

This is the only decent video I could find showing Ryan Seacrest announcing the winner of last nights "American Idol", and it opens with Adam Lambert and the dude whose name I'm not even gonna bother to learn because there's no point singing "We Are the Champions" with Queen. I stopped watching this season when the hot chicks got kicked off, but Adam Lambert should have won this shit. He may look like Little Nicky,...

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