Steven Tyler is patriotic

By brendon January 23, 2012 @ 8:51 AM

They say that the national anthem is one of the hardest songs to sing, and yesterday at the AFC Championship game between New England and Baltimore Steven Tyler proved them right. He better watch out. Ray Lewis has stabbed people for less.

Tuesday morning headlines

By brendon April 19, 2011 @ 12:10 AM

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JJ ABRAMS – has a new top secret movie project at Paramount, called Zanbato for now, with Japanese history and robotics as the major themes. One source described it as, “Swashbuckling robots with swords.” Cool. So how long until someone points out that robots are made of sword-proof metal. (deadline)

KANYE WEST – closed out Coachella Sunday night, and “delivered a grandiose, theatrical performance destined to be remembered as one of the greatest hip-hop sets of all time.” And safest. (thr and lat)

BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN – visited the final 7 contestants on American Idol Friday, though it’s not clear if he’ll be on air as a mentor. Too bad Pia Toscano isn’t still there. Just imagine the stirring conversation they could have had about Jersey. (e!)

FERGIE – was stopped by the TSA at LAX (again) this weekend. “Why is this old guy carrying a purse”, they asked as Fergie approached. “Somethings not right here.” (daily mail and splash news)

afternoon headlines

By brendon January 21, 2011 @ 5:41 PM

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SKINS – is the new MTV drama, with a cast ranging from 15-19, where everyone gets drunk and has sex, and now some nerds are asking the government to open an investigation to determine if it’s child pornography. I don’t think it is, but I haven’t fucked a 15 year old since I was like 24, so maybe the laws have changed since then. (deadline)

AMERICAN IDOL – on Thursday night was down 9 percent from Wednesday night, which was down 13 percent from last years season premiere. They should just cancel the show right now. Instead of Coke it should be sponsored by Sleepytime Tea. (hollywood reporter)

SACHA BARON COHEN – will not be playing Saddam Hussein in his next movie, as was the rumor yesterday, but will be a fictionalized version of Hussein in a movie based on a book written by Hussein, that “tells the heroic story of a dictator who risked his life to ensure that democracy would never come to the country he so lovingly oppressed.” Awesome. Everyone loves a good genocide joke. (slate)

JENNA BENTLEY – was down in Hermosa Beach yesterday, and yes this is purely filler bc there were no other good pictures. The paparazzi agency refers to her as a Playmate but I don’t think that’s true. It better not be true, because Julri Waters is a billion times hotter and she’s not a Playmate yet. She should be though. She’s beautiful. And Korean. With G’s. I can’t believe she’s even real. It’s like discovering Superman is real. (pacific coast)

morning headlines

By brendon January 21, 2011 @ 10:48 AM

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MEL GIBSON – is facing up to 4 years in jail for hitting his ex. It’s probably a good thing he didn’t know that because if he did I bet he would have hit her even harder. (sun)

AMERICAN IDOL – is down 13 percent in the ratings from one year ago, which was the lowest rated season in the shows history. And this is crazy because everyone loves Jennifer Lopez so much. How could this have gone wrong? It’s a real mindbender. (ew)

TAYLOR SWIFT AND JAKE GYLLENHAAL – dated briefly around Thanksgiving, then broke up, but now may be back together. They might as well be. They’re never gonna find anyone else this bland and boring, so don’t even bother. (people)

KESHA – has said in countless interviews that that she doesn’t know who her father is, but it might her father, whom she had a very cordial relationship with until she was 19, but then stared telling people she doesn’t know who her father is. Just once it would be nice to find a girl who wasn’t completely fucking nuts. (star)

HILARY DUFF – is pregnant according to Star, but not pregnant according to Hilary Duff. So either Star is lying, or she’s lying, or she wanted to wait and tell me our big news in person. (star, twitter)

morning headlines

By brendon January 20, 2011 @ 11:05 AM

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SUPERBOWL XLV – will have at least 13 ads for movies, including what should be the first real footage from Super 8 and Capt. America. No word yet on what PuppyBowl VII will have ads for. Dog food? (variety)

RACHEL WEISZ – is the choice for the female lead in the new James Bond movie, which is weird bc she dates Daniel Craig, who of course plays James Bond. It’s always a solid idea to make plans for a year from now with a girl you just started dating. What could possibly go wrong. (the sun)

AMERICAN IDOL – had it’s season 10 premiere last night, with Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler as new judges, and overall it’s getting pretty good reviews. Especially from Tyler, who found a way to meet new teen pussy. (la times)

ANNALYNNE MCCORD – played with a full bred wolf on the set of 90210 yesterday. Did he kiss her, then roll on his back and spread his legs? Of course he did. Wouldn’t you? (pacific coast)

Henifaa Yopez wont let her songs be sung on Idol

By brendon November 05, 2010 @ 3:15 PM

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Jennifer Lopez is a mean selfish cunt and everyone hates her, so needless to say that’s exactly how she’s acting at her new job as a judge on American Idol. Specifically, by telling contestants what songs they’re allowed to sing. Celebuzz says…

After hearing a few contestants mimic some of the 41-year-old singer’s No. 1 hits, J-Lo is warning them not to sing her songs if they want to make it to the next round.
“It was cute, super entertaining and flattering, but no,” she said to reporters Nov. 4 in Los Angeles. 

Of course. Is there any doubt that these people would sing her songs better than she did, and since the show is all about her now, she can’t have anyone out shine her. First it’s no JLo songs, then no dance songs, then no Puerto Rican girls, then no singing and no dancing. The show will determine what white male can sit quietly the longest.