By Lex February 10, 2014 @ 2:25 PM
Among the idiotic jobs you may not know exist is celebrity spotters for fashion companies. These Mensa candidates scan all the paparazzi photos to see if any celebrity is wearing or holding any of their client’s high-priced child-labor sewn goods and then alert the gossip sites. That way breathless recent college grads can blog shit like ‘Jennifer Lawrence was wearing a gorgeous necklace by Douchenozzle’ and stuff that makes woman go buy more Douchenozzle products when they’re at the mall. The chick who works for Valentino spotted Amy Adams toting around one of the Italian designers new handbags. So she zipped right into press release mode.
We are pleased to announce Amy Adams carrying the Valentino Garavani Rockstud Duble bag from the Spring/Summer 2014 collection on Feb. 6 in New York
Well, of course, you’re going to want the Rockstud Duble when you’re burying your dead heroin addicted friend. Everybody jumped for fucking cover after this press release started getting bitched out on social media for using Philip Seymour Hoffman’s funeral as a publicity turn. Amy Adams assured the world that she wasn’t getting paid to carry around a $20 beach bag that goes for $3,000 at the Duty Free in Hong Kong. Valentino apologized for not knowing Philip Seymour Hoffman couldn’t handle his H and for talking about gay sex well into his late 70′s. Then everyone agreed to share an expresso and make fun of people who purchase off the rack at department stores.
Photo Credit: AKM-GSI
By Lex December 18, 2013 @ 5:47 PM
There’s nothing more magical than two hot girls getting it on. Amy Adams ranted on and on about the acting moment and how powerful it was in the scene where she kisses Jennifer Lawrence in American Hustle and how it was all really heightened craft. Yeah, I suppose that means something to the lady readers. Men could care less if it’s real or fake or powerful or if you’re just thinking about how this is the young bitch who’s starting to take all your jobs and maybe you should bite her tongue off to deform her. Just get your parts on each other, start making circular motions, and moan. That’s the craft right there.
Photo Credit: American Hustle, Vanity Fair
By Travis October 14, 2013 @ 11:00 AM
Amy Adams was one of the stars in attendance for the Closing Night Gala presentation of “Her” at the 51st New York Film Festival, and I know this because her tits were there, too. A lot of people are probably going to criticize Amy for walking around with her breasts hanging out at a prestigious event, when she’s such a well-respected actress and all, but I think it was pretty smart. Otherwise, she’d have spent the whole night having people ask her to hold their coats or get them drinks while they tried to convince Olivia Wilde to get comfortable, undo a button and stay a while.
Photo Credits: Getty
By Travis August 01, 2013 @ 11:00 AM
The new trailer for American Hustle was released yesterday, and it looks pretty good. I’d like to be a little more optimistic but I don’t have a clue what it’s about, other than a three-way competition between Christian Bale, Bradley Cooper and Jeremy Renner to look like the ugliest guys you’d spot in a New Jersey strip club.
Then again, it also has Jennifer Lawrence and Amy Adams looking like 70s porn stars, so that should count for something. In fact, if there’s an Oscar for that, I hope they both win. Then, when they accept their statues, they can try them out on each other. I know, I’m full of brilliant ideas.
By Lex June 06, 2013 @ 4:21 PM
Amy Adams seems like such a good girl. I wasn’t sure she had nipples. But I think I see one. I assume it dispenses soy milk and sings during rainstorms to keep the kids entertained when they can’t play outside.
Photo Credit: Elle UK
Last night was The 85th Annual Academy Awards and I’m completely ashamed to say I watched the entire thing. To sum it up, Seth MacFarlane did surprisingly not shitty, Jennifer Lawrence fell down, the Best Director winner was bullshit, Ben Affleck got snubbed, then didn’t and George Clooney kept getting free scotch thrown at him for smiling every time someone joked he banged and/or will bang somebody like nine-year-old Quvenzhané Wallis (Actual Seth MacFarlane joke.) who already had to deal with Daniel Day Lewis demanding she thank him backstage. This shouldn’t fuck a kid up.
(Images of celebs who showed up to last night’s Oscars with varying degrees of cleavage or dumb-looking faces = Getty)