Greg Poehler, Internet Troll

By Lex June 10, 2014 @ 8:58 AM

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There is no ego more fragile than that of celebrity. Those dancing monkeys may claim they’re not reading reviews or following gossip tales online, but they are all one-hundred percent lying. Maybe the Kardashians actually can’t read, but they hire people who can. They call them their wizards, not as a joke, they just think people who can make sense out of a jumble of letters are mystical beings. The wizards purchase Twitter and Facebook followers and prime the pump in replies with friendly messages and retweets from dummy accounts. Hollywood is just Washington with good looking people.

Amy Poehler set her brother up with a TV show in Sweden. That was a nice sibling consolation gift. It’s about brother Greg Poehler’s real life experience dropping everything and moving to Sweden to be with a girl. Just imagine the hijinks therein. Those stupid ass Swedes. Greg Poehler didn’t like the negative show review so much in the leading Swedish entertainment paper so he started trolling the comments section of the story and picking fights with the author. He used various anonymous login names, but his IP address was visible to the author, oh, you silly Internet trolls who are too lazy for proxies. The story writer tracked the IP address back to the Swedish eco-friendly block housing where Greg coincidentally resides. Sweden is not a super big place. Swedish GPS is saying ‘that way’ and pointing. The journalist also noted that the troller IP address was identical to the anon author who made very complimentary updates to the Greg Poehler Wiki page. Nailed it, Swedish Columbo. Poehler confessed with a LaBeoufian like smarm in the very same paper and everyone went back to eating salted fish and painting everything they could find red. None of that was really the least bit funny. Unless you’re Swedish, then trust me, it’s fucking hilarious.

Amy Poehler And Aubrey Plaza Are Making The Nerds All Hot

By Travis August 20, 2013 @ 10:00 AM

Amy Poehler and Aubrey Plaza attended the Hollywood premiere of something called Afternoon Delight yesterday, and that must have had all of the hipster comedy fanboys going crazy, because these girls are like Viagra to them. To make it even better, Aubrey laid her head on Amy’s chest ever so gently, while she probably whispered something like, “Let’s perform improv while we scissor,” and a bunch of magazines named them the most important women of 2013.

Admittedly, I don’t really get the whole love affair that the Internet has with these two, but then I also still use AOL to connect to the web and I’m hoping to pass the intermediate level on Minesweeper by 2015.

(Photo Credits: FayesVision/WENN.com)

afternoon headlines

By brendon March 17, 2010 @ 4:17 PM

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KENDRA - is gonna kill me because I was supposed to mention her St. Patricks Day contest sooner than this. So everyone go do this thing for Kendra. I guarantee (*) the winner gets to have sex with her. (*- these statements are not guaranteed)

GARY DOURDAN - used the things he learned on ‘CSI’ to have his girlfriend arrested after she assaulted him. If I were the cop I’d have a hard time taking this seriously. I’d bring him a cup of cocoa, and say, “aww honey, wha’ happened?” (ew)

AMY POEHLER AND WILL ARNETT – are having another child. This is one of the few couples who should have kids, because those two are both awesome. So they have my blessing. Hopefully this catches on because I’d really like to be put in charge of who lives and who dies. (us)

KIRSTIE ALLEY - went clomp clomp clomp and waddled over to Letterman yesterday to promote her new reality show about her diet and transformation from a fat tub of shit to a fat tub of shit dressed in clothes made for humans. (inf daily)