Tara Reid is in Loaded Magazine. For some reason.

By brendon May 10, 2012 @ 2:03 PM

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Loaded is a magazine in the UK, and it’s usually terrific with lots of pictures of really hot girls (in April it was Jennifer Metcalfe, this month they had Hannah Simone, the hot Indian model from ‘New Girl’), but for June someone thought it would be a good idea to have Tara Reid. In a bikini.

Suffice to say it was not a good idea, and I don’t appreciate it at all. And it was certainly uncalled for to wrap her in the flag and remind everyone that she’s American.

So maybe we’ll just start with a few pictures of Amy Winehouse in front of the Union Jack. Two can play this little game, you limey bastards!

(image source = loaded, splash)

Amy Winehouse drank herself to death

By brendon October 26, 2011 @ 11:52 AM

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When Amy Winehouse died, her dad Mitch told everyone that, though he wasn’t certain about what killed her, she definitely didn’t overdose because she was clean now and not drinking or doing any more drugs. And he told everyone to just wait until the autopsy and you’ll see. Well now the autopsy done, and you’ll never guess what we’re seeing.

The Sun says…

AMY Winehouse died of alcohol poisoning after being more than FIVE TIMES the legal driving limit, an inquest has found.
Police discovered two large and a small bottle of vodka after the star’s body was found at her £2.3million home.
Recording a verdict of misadventure, St Pancras Coroner Suzanne Greenway said the singer had 416mg of alcohol per 100ml of blood. The driving limit is 80mg.
“She had consumed sufficient alcohol at 416mg per decilitre (of blood) and the unintended consequence of such potentially fatal levels was her sudden and unexpected death.”

Oh so it turns out she did drink herself to death. Is that what you guessed? I assumed it was gonna be too much exercise or something like that. Life sure can be unpredictable.

Finally. A nude Amy Winehouse tribute sculpture.

By brendon September 08, 2011 @ 1:22 PM

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I think we can all agree that it’s way past time that the weirdo behind the naked Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez sculpture churned out a topless Amy Winehouse one, boney chest-plate thankfully included. I just hope were allowed to buy more than one at a time!

Mitch Winehouse is on top of the world

By brendon July 29, 2011 @ 12:36 PM

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Mitch Winehouse has been having the time of his life ever since that spotlight-stealing daughter of his finally died. He’s been going on TV, and doing interviews, and last night he held a party at Amy’s favorite bar (the Jazz After Dark in London). Because that’s a completely appropriate way to mourn someone who drank themselves to death 5 days ago. “God I wish she had died when she still had all her money,” he probably thought to himself. “But nooo, Little Mary Live-A-Lot had to drag that shit out for 5 years, like some kind of white-trash Rasputin.”

(image source = pacific coast and fame)

Amy Winehouse died from not drinking

By brendon July 28, 2011 @ 9:12 PM

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If you’re like the friends and family of Amy Winehouse, you looked at her and saw a rock-steady pillar of strength and an iron will. You’re also in deep deep denial, and laugh out loud stupid.

Amy Winehouse’s family are convinced she was killed by QUITTING booze, The Sun can reveal.
They believe the singer’s decision to lay off alcohol completely for three weeks was a lethal “shock” for her tiny body.

NOTE: she was still drinking up until the day she died but whatever.

Family sources say Amy died after ignoring her doctor’s advice to cut down on her heavy drinking gradually.
And the tragic star’s loved ones believe she was killed by a seizure because her tiny 4ft 11in frame could not cope with such a dramatic withdrawal.

As proof, consider the time when that scientist guy in the cave built that magnet to keep the shrapnel out of Tony Starks heart. Without the magnet inside of him, Tony would die. This is exactly like that. Except with whiskey.

Mitch Winehouse is an asshole

By brendon July 27, 2011 @ 2:55 PM

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All of these things happened in the past month:

1. One day before Amy Winehouse died, her mom visited her and would later say Amy was so “out of it” that her death “was only a matter of time.” (us)

2. “She has spent the last seven days on a massive bender and people were saying she’s going to drink herself to death.” Sources claim she died from a ‘bad’ ecstasy pill combined with huge amounts of alcohol.” (the mirror)

3. “The sordid details of Amy Winehouse’s final hours emerged today, with claims that she bought a cocktail of narcotics including cocaine, ecstasy and ketamine.” (daily mail)

4. “Winehouse slurred through her set to the echoes of boos from the 20,000-strong crowd. ‘Amy was just standing there, swaying back and forth and mumbling occasionally.’ ” (THR)

Okay, so with all that in mind, here’s what her dad Mitch talked about at her funeral…

Mitch Winehouse yesterday claimed his tragic daughter had beaten her drug addiction – and had, in fact, conquered her dependency three years ago.
“Three years ago, Amy conquered her drug dependency, the doctors said it was impossible but she really did it. She was trying hard to deal with her drinking and had just completed three weeks of abstinence.”

Oh fuck you, Mitch. I hate this dick. He could have helped save his daughters life and he didn’t. Instead he covered for her and told her she didn’t need rehab. I get that he’s grieving but there’s so much revisionist history in that story I’m willing to bet he’s counting the time she’s been dead as another week of abstinence.