Ana Braga in a Red Thong

By Lex January 06, 2015 @ 12:22 PM

Ana Braga Wears A Red Thong Bikini On The Beach In Miami
You’ve made the treacherous crossing from Brazil, you’re in the thong on the beach where there are a million photographers, there’s no way you’re not bending your ass lens-ward and securing yourself and your five younger brothers a brighter future. John Henry knew what to do with his hammer. You keep on driving, darling. That mountain’s going to come to you.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Ana Braga Is a Bears Fan

By Lex September 17, 2014 @ 10:09 AM

Ana Braga Wears A Bikini While Stretching In Miami
Brazilian models with nice asses and not much work are notorious frontrunners. This chick got some Bears gear within minutes of Chicago beating the Niners on national television. There are no official rules for women when it comes to bandwagoning your football loyalties. If she were a dude, he’d have to be jumped and beaten for the fresh team merch in-season. Then we’d probably all fuck him because of how hot his ass looked in Bears booty shorts.

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News

Ana Braga In Thong Bikini

By Lex September 02, 2014 @ 12:27 PM

Ana Braga In Thong Bikini On Miami Beach
I’m coming to like this girl. I’m certain she lives for my endorsement. At first I thought, bleached out silicon bodied Brazilian model of none renowned trying to get noticed on Miami Beach by shaking her ass and showing off her tits. Now I think the exact same, but also, meh, that’s not such a bad thing. When you think about all the horrible ways in which many people spend their days. Criminals, politicians, the people who charge you for chips at Chipotle. Crawling around on all fours on the beach isn’t exactly hurting anyone. Unless she farts, she’s not really threatening the ozone. Good work, Ana.

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News

Lisa Opie And Ana Braga in Bikinis

By Lex August 13, 2014 @ 8:43 AM

Lisa Opie And Ana Braga Hang Out In Bikinis At The Beach In Miami
I admire the way women so seamlessly interact within each other’s personal space. If any of my buddies asked me to pull their swim trunks out of their ass, I’d punch them hard in the neck and tell them we can’t play D&D anymore. That’s not homophobic, that’s qualitative. If Lena Dunham showed me where her woolen swimsuit was riding her chub crack something fierce, I’d convene a human war crimes tribunal. On the other hand, with these two chipper model girls, I’d be three knuckles deep checking for polyps before they had the chance to even say ‘please, mister, can you…’.

Photo Credit: Splash

Ana Braga In A See Through Swim Suit

By Lex July 09, 2014 @ 12:56 PM

Ana Braga In A See Through Swim Suit For A Photo Shoot On The Beach In Miami
This chick’s also from Brazil. Today is full of how awesome Brazil is if you’re not in Brazil. It’s my Brazil apology tour. Don’t be fooled by Ana Braga’s blond hair, it’s possible it’s not real. But what is real is the heart and effort she puts into pretending that see-through swimsuits is what all the elderly Jewish ladies are wearing this summer in Miami.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Ana Braga Topless In A Thong

By Lex May 05, 2014 @ 3:06 PM

Ana Braga Goes Topless In A Thong Bikini At Miami Beach
I’m done with those stories about troubled or afflicted high school kids asking some twit celebrity to the prom. It’s a photo op. You ain’t getting none from Taylor Swift when the last Daughtry power ballad closes down the evening. If you’re going to reach for the high school brass ring, I’d invite this Ana Braga chick to the prom. Blond Brazilian topless models with tattoos are more likely to turn you into a man on prom night than a girl who cried because Jake Gyllenhaal took her cherry at 21 then didn’t stay to eat mom’s pot roast with the family.

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News