Ana Braga Boob Shake On Instagram (VIDEO)

By Lex March 27, 2015 @ 8:27 AM

This feels pretty half-assed. It’s not like we demanded this Brazilian chick selfie her tits bouncing up and down like a Christmas window display for grown men. The circus invites you. Every time Ringling Brothers used to parade through our town they’d yell out, we invite you. The elephants formed a small pyramid or they got shot with tranquilizer and crated off to the Manwich factory. That’s what you do when you’ve summoned people into your tent for a show. You put on a fucking show. Make those jugs bounce or stop parading through my town. The art of hosting is dead.

Photo Credit: Instagram/WWTDD Archives

Ana Braga in A Bikini

By Lex March 06, 2015 @ 8:36 AM

Ana Braga Wears A Bikini In Miami
When I see a Brazilian girl with bleached blond hair I see a woman willing to take chances. Like straddling a Miami public restroom toilet without a disposable sanitary seat cover. There are still plenty of women in this world up for anything. Not everybody is penning an unpaid blog for HuffPo on relationship fails and learning from regrettable choices and the sexism inherent in their own footwear. Only most everybody. I’ll take this chick. I’m sure she can express displeasure, she just chooses not to. The saints walk among us.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Ana Braga in a Red Thong

By Lex January 06, 2015 @ 12:22 PM

Ana Braga Wears A Red Thong Bikini On The Beach In Miami
You’ve made the treacherous crossing from Brazil, you’re in the thong on the beach where there are a million photographers, there’s no way you’re not bending your ass lens-ward and securing yourself and your five younger brothers a brighter future. John Henry knew what to do with his hammer. You keep on driving, darling. That mountain’s going to come to you.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Ana Braga Is a Bears Fan

By Lex September 17, 2014 @ 10:09 AM

Ana Braga Wears A Bikini While Stretching In Miami
Brazilian models with nice asses and not much work are notorious frontrunners. This chick got some Bears gear within minutes of Chicago beating the Niners on national television. There are no official rules for women when it comes to bandwagoning your football loyalties. If she were a dude, he’d have to be jumped and beaten for the fresh team merch in-season. Then we’d probably all fuck him because of how hot his ass looked in Bears booty shorts.

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News

Ana Braga In Thong Bikini

By Lex September 02, 2014 @ 12:27 PM

Ana Braga In Thong Bikini On Miami Beach
I’m coming to like this girl. I’m certain she lives for my endorsement. At first I thought, bleached out silicon bodied Brazilian model of none renowned trying to get noticed on Miami Beach by shaking her ass and showing off her tits. Now I think the exact same, but also, meh, that’s not such a bad thing. When you think about all the horrible ways in which many people spend their days. Criminals, politicians, the people who charge you for chips at Chipotle. Crawling around on all fours on the beach isn’t exactly hurting anyone. Unless she farts, she’s not really threatening the ozone. Good work, Ana.

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News

Lisa Opie And Ana Braga in Bikinis

By Lex August 13, 2014 @ 8:43 AM

Lisa Opie And Ana Braga Hang Out In Bikinis At The Beach In Miami
I admire the way women so seamlessly interact within each other’s personal space. If any of my buddies asked me to pull their swim trunks out of their ass, I’d punch them hard in the neck and tell them we can’t play D&D anymore. That’s not homophobic, that’s qualitative. If Lena Dunham showed me where her woolen swimsuit was riding her chub crack something fierce, I’d convene a human war crimes tribunal. On the other hand, with these two chipper model girls, I’d be three knuckles deep checking for polyps before they had the chance to even say ‘please, mister, can you…’.

Photo Credit: Splash