Lisa Opie And Ana Braga in Bikinis

By Lex August 13, 2014 @ 8:43 AM

Lisa Opie And Ana Braga Hang Out In Bikinis At The Beach In Miami
I admire the way women so seamlessly interact within each other’s personal space. If any of my buddies asked me to pull their swim trunks out of their ass, I’d punch them hard in the neck and tell them we can’t play D&D anymore. That’s not homophobic, that’s qualitative. If Lena Dunham showed me where her woolen swimsuit was riding her chub crack something fierce, I’d convene a human war crimes tribunal. On the other hand, with these two chipper model girls, I’d be three knuckles deep checking for polyps before they had the chance to even say ‘please, mister, can you…’.

Photo Credit: Splash

Ana Braga In A See Through Swim Suit

By Lex July 09, 2014 @ 12:56 PM

Ana Braga In A See Through Swim Suit For A Photo Shoot On The Beach In Miami
This chick’s also from Brazil. Today is full of how awesome Brazil is if you’re not in Brazil. It’s my Brazil apology tour. Don’t be fooled by Ana Braga’s blond hair, it’s possible it’s not real. But what is real is the heart and effort she puts into pretending that see-through swimsuits is what all the elderly Jewish ladies are wearing this summer in Miami.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Ana Braga Topless In A Thong

By Lex May 05, 2014 @ 3:06 PM

Ana Braga Goes Topless In A Thong Bikini At Miami Beach
I’m done with those stories about troubled or afflicted high school kids asking some twit celebrity to the prom. It’s a photo op. You ain’t getting none from Taylor Swift when the last Daughtry power ballad closes down the evening. If you’re going to reach for the high school brass ring, I’d invite this Ana Braga chick to the prom. Blond Brazilian topless models with tattoos are more likely to turn you into a man on prom night than a girl who cried because Jake Gyllenhaal took her cherry at 21 then didn’t stay to eat mom’s pot roast with the family.

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News

Ana Braga Downward Facing Dog

By Lex April 28, 2014 @ 12:27 PM

Ana Braga Does Yoga In A Bikini At The Park In Miami
In the 1950′s this bit of exhibitionism could’ve served as a controversial defense in a rape trial. We’ve come so far in the past several decades such that a woman can enter a public space mostly naked, point her vagina skyward in a procreative position, and come away with nothing but the warm fuzzy that a thousand men will be imagining railing her later in the evening. When I think of all the angry marches and zaftig girl topless protest rallies and coeds who experimented with candles and lesbianism in college to get us to this point, I feel the weight of their sacrifice. This and a pantsuited prune in the White House will signal victory.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Ana Braga in a Pink Thong Bikini

By Lex April 16, 2014 @ 12:41 PM

Ana Braga In A Pink Thong Bikini For A Photo Shoot In Miami Beach
I like that America has become a safe haven for foreign girls looking to become famous by flashing tits and ass. Politicians make speeches about how we’re a proud nation of immigrants, but mostly people have always hated the raggedy folks who got here after them. It’s like pretending you’re happy that you ex is getting biblical with the next Mr. Right. Your flag is your flag and every bit as important as the day you first planted it. If the Russkies went to the moon and swapped out their colors for the stars and stripes, we’d go to war. The best thing that could happen to immigration is this Brazilian girls labial folds flapping in the wind to remind us that every man on this planet belongs to but one nation, the nation of dudes who want to bang this chick and leave before sunup.

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News

Anais Zanotti And Ana Braga Touch Each Other Like Broken Birds

By Lex April 01, 2014 @ 6:26 PM

Anais Zanotti And Ana Braga Topless And Covered In Bikinis At Miami Beach
These poor girls can’t seem to find their tops. It’s some kind of sickness that seems to befall international girls on the beach particularly dependent on the kindness of strangers to pay their rent. You might think it makes no sense to buy big ole titties only to keep them covered with the fingers your daddy used to kiss at bedtime when he promised you you’d be a ballerina in a beautiful hall he would build you from cedar and dragon’s blood. But then you’ve never been an attractive woman spending the evening in a Miami-Dade Country Correctional Facility.

Photo Credit: Splash