Ana Braga Cruising Miami

By Lex January 27, 2016 @ 8:31 AM

Ana Braga Rides A Bike In A Swimsuit
Federal employment figures are naturally misleading. Sure you’ve got a job, but it’s riding your bike around Miami in a swimsuit so older men in the street cafes can masturbate into plantain peels. They are the Cuban fleshlights. Ana Braga skin pallor indicates she’s fairly new to the job. Like an Uber driver before their first passenger assault. The world is fresh. I’m pretty sure you’re just doing laps. If you don’t hit 10 MPH the cops will cite you for soliciting prostitution. Sorry, I meant award you. This is Miami. Sunscreen will not prevent the transmission of STDs. Read the fine print.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Ana Braga in A Bikini

By Lex December 22, 2015 @ 7:00 AM

Ana Braga Bikini In Miami
Cara Delevingne was bitching over the weekend about how the paparazzi are forever trying to shoot up her skirt. The frenzied photographers instinctively know what you’ve got that sells. Cara has a vagina. This blond Brazilian chick has a hiney she raises in the air every ninety seconds like her rectum doubles as a vital NORAD communication link. Cuba has Russian nukes again. Don’t ask me how I know. Keep that shitter pointed at Havana. The Cold War is over, my ass.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Ana Braga White Bikini Squat

By Lex October 12, 2015 @ 8:39 AM

Ana Braga White Bikini Squat
Nobody squats quite like this oddly blond Brazilian chick. I used to think it was part of her model posing warmups, now I’m certain she’s relieving herself on the Miami Beach promenade. It’s not for anybody to judge the customs of foreign cultures. The Chinese gorge their food, the native Andeans engage in communal fistfights every December, Muslim jihadists like to murder women and babies. You’re either blindly supporting or you’re shaming. It’s a small small world.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Ana Braga Light Stretching In A Tiny Bikini

By Lex September 15, 2015 @ 1:12 PM

Ana Braga Light Stretching In A Tiny Bikini
There’s a Cutler fan in every bunch. You can always spot them. Hopeful optimists who see the best in people. This is the year Uncle Stan finally gets over meth. It’s been a ride. I bet that pastor from Seventh Heaven no longer likes young girls. He is a man of God. Nobody’s going to be in Los Angeles come January. Hell yes let’s get Cutler tattoos. Why is Uncle Stan stealing our toaster? Dan Marino has no rings either.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Ana Braga Nipple Show

By Lex August 07, 2015 @ 8:59 AM

Ana Braga Nip Slip In Miami
It’s impossible to look serious when your nipples are exposed. At some point Ted Cruz will selfie himself topless shooting an MK-19 at ISIS mannequins and pretending his clavicle isn’t disintegrating. Which only proves my point. This chick seems more gutty than Cruz, but it’s all the same. Yes, I want to hear about the Rio street kids wading in the river of bottles. But your teat has me Googling the odds of contracting gonorrhea through Adult Nursing Relationships and wines to pair with Taco Bell. You can’t have everything. I’ll take the Chalupa and the Fume Blanc. Stow that tit.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Angelique Morgan And Ana Braga in Bikinis

By Lex May 13, 2015 @ 1:02 PM

Angelique Morgan And Ana Braga Pink Bikinis In Miami
There’s a social theory that like minded individuals will eventually seek each other out and coalesce into groups. Craigslist has expedited this process with their Metrosexual Males Married to Kendra Wilkinson Seeking Curious Tranny Bottoms Into Tennis personals sections. You can type in the four most secretly shameful things about yourself and be connected to a klatch that meets at Carrow’s every other Thursday. I think that’s how these two girls met on the beach. Inflated bleached blonde sisters from foreign lands just trying to make it in America without specific industry codes. Just select ‘other’. When immigration comes knocking, slip on these pink thongs. I’ve seen the deportation lines. Nobody looks like you.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet