Anais Zanotti And Ana Braga Touch Each Other Like Broken Birds

By Lex April 01, 2014 @ 6:26 PM

Anais Zanotti And Ana Braga Topless And Covered In Bikinis At Miami Beach
These poor girls can’t seem to find their tops. It’s some kind of sickness that seems to befall international girls on the beach particularly dependent on the kindness of strangers to pay their rent. You might think it makes no sense to buy big ole titties only to keep them covered with the fingers your daddy used to kiss at bedtime when he promised you you’d be a ballerina in a beautiful hall he would build you from cedar and dragon’s blood. But then you’ve never been an attractive woman spending the evening in a Miami-Dade Country Correctional Facility.

Photo Credit: Splash

Ana Braga Takes Off Her Bikini Top

By Lex February 21, 2014 @ 3:32 PM

Ana Braga Takes Off Her Pink Bikini Top At The Beach In Miami

Short of killing a country singer or jumping in a time machine and blowing Tommy Mottola, there aren’t any easy ways left to break into show business. This Ana Braga chick came from Brazil with a plan. To get her tits a little taste of the American Dream. Maybe that’s vice-versa. The fact is, you can’t expect your tits to become famous if they’re hidden away like a cloistered nun’s vagina. Air those babies out, display them like they’re your corn-raised heifers at the State Fair. Get that blue ribbon pinned to your chest, though not in an area that would cause deflation. Become famous, be somebody important, and you, my dear, will have earned that wet bikini bottom of yours. Shit must be horrible in Brazil.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Give Me Back My Damn Bikini Top, You Venezuelean Whore

By Lex February 12, 2014 @ 6:47 PM

Models Anais Zanotti And Ana Braga In Bikinis At The Beach In Miami
I might be reading into this. And I might be confusing Venezuela with Brazil. I think all of South America was like one piece in Risk. But there’s still nothing finer than seeing two girls with with big fake yabbos and a poor command of the English language grabbing each others bikinis at the beach. Screw a basket full of kittens or babies in fireman’s hats, this is where ¬†adorable begins and ends.

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News

Ana Braga And Boxing Gloves and Not Much Else

By Lex November 29, 2013 @ 3:26 PM

Ana Braga Goes Topless But Covered For The Fall Issue Of Bizsu Magazine

I’m not sure when people decided it was sexy to see women beating the crap out of each other. I don’t care if it’s organized boxing or two BBWs coming to blows over the last piece of diet cheesecake bites in the store, seeing women go ballistic on each other always makes me uncomfortable. I’m down with girls pillow fighting in lingerie or two knife-wielding Puerto Rican girls jawing over who’s man I am, but real bloodied women is not my thing. Anybody who feels otherwise just doesn’t love their mother as much as I do. Hi, mom. Happy Birthday.

Here’s that Brazilian model Ana Braga with boxing gloves over her tits for no apparent reason.

Photo Credit: Bizsu Magazine

Ana Braga Doesn’t Need No Bikini Top

By Lex November 05, 2013 @ 2:58 PM

Ana Braga Relaxes In A Bikini, Topless On The Beach In Miami
I don’t think Ana Braga can actually touch her head to the sand when she’s lying on her tits. Not without severing her C3 vertebrae and causing immediate loss of involuntary breathing function. That must be tough. Still, you don’t want those nasty tanlines to build up laying there in the shade.

Photo Credit: Splash

Anais Zanotti And Ana Braga in Bikinis

By Lex October 22, 2013 @ 6:47 PM

Anais Zanotti And Ana Braga Hang Out Topless On The Beach In Miami
Here’s why this world is so fucking wonderful. Even good looking women need to figure out ways to get noticed if they want to be famous. Having a slamming bikini body and bit tits and long hair and designer sunglasses just isn’t enough. It’s enough to be my girlfriend who I let convince me that she’s only friends with her fitness instructor. But it’s not enough to book serious modeling gigs or be on TV. So these girls need to start taking off their tops and rubbing each other with suntan lotion to get the cameras on them. The whole cosmic design makes your feel kind of religious actually.

Photo Credit: Splash