Anais Zanotti in a Bikini

By Lex October 30, 2014 @ 11:51 AM

Anais Zanotti Wears A Bikini On The Beach In Miami
Real life movements simply aren’t possible when you know dudes with cameras are snapping you. You can’t pick your nose or scratch your ass or adjust your junk. It’s all about tossing the hair and moving like you want the king to pick you out among all the servant girls for his harem where the fruit is at least fresh after the forcible sodomy. Is it truly possible for a good looking woman in a thong bikini to ever have a candid moment in public? Probably not. I’m going to feel sorry for this chick just as soon as I imagine making a baby with her then changing my name so she can’t find me for child support. If I learned anything from Elm Street it’s that every dream needs an exit plan.

Photo Credit: Splash

Anais Zanotti In A Pink Bikini

By Lex July 30, 2014 @ 10:50 AM

Anais Zanotti In A Pink Bikini At The Beach In Miami
I’m going to go ahead and say pink is this French girl’s color. I once had my color profile done at a mall. The girl shuddered as she told me I was black as death. Then she hurried away in tears screaming about Carcosa. That was awkward. If I could only find a partner like this chick who is both pink and has enormous tits, we could blend into something like a muddy brown and more subtly drive the people around us into insanity.

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News

Anais Zanotti And Ana Braga Touch Each Other Like Broken Birds

By Lex April 01, 2014 @ 6:26 PM

Anais Zanotti And Ana Braga Topless And Covered In Bikinis At Miami Beach
These poor girls can’t seem to find their tops. It’s some kind of sickness that seems to befall international girls on the beach particularly dependent on the kindness of strangers to pay their rent. You might think it makes no sense to buy big ole titties only to keep them covered with the fingers your daddy used to kiss at bedtime when he promised you you’d be a ballerina in a beautiful hall he would build you from cedar and dragon’s blood. But then you’ve never been an attractive woman spending the evening in a Miami-Dade Country Correctional Facility.

Photo Credit: Splash

Anais Zanotti In Not Even a Bikini

By Lex March 07, 2014 @ 1:20 PM

Anais Zanotti Poses Topless And Covered In A Thong Bikini In Miami
I’m starting to believe these Miami Beach pictures of models from various ports of worldwide naval call might be staged. These girls can’t be standing staring out into the ocean with just a piece of floss wrapped around their ass for hours on end each day. Not when there’s chicken wings to be served at their day jobs. This chick is French, so I’ll concede she might be staring out into the great abyss during most of her waking hours. French people like to peer out into bodies of water. As petit croutons in child sized turtlenecks, their disaffected French parents will assure them this is the best means to appear profound. All the while they can calculate where to bum their next pouch of tobacco or the most ironic places to surrender to the Russians when they surely arrive.

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News

Anais Zanotti In A Thong

By Lex February 18, 2014 @ 5:49 PM

Anais Zanotti In A Purple Thong Bikini At The Beach In Miami
I’m not sure what this girl’s professional occupation is, but every time she pulls her thong out of her ass, I want to write her a check for $250 with a vaguely worded explanation in the memo line. Now that I think of it, I should probably use cash.

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News

Give Me Back My Damn Bikini Top, You Venezuelean Whore

By Lex February 12, 2014 @ 6:47 PM

Models Anais Zanotti And Ana Braga In Bikinis At The Beach In Miami
I might be reading into this. And I might be confusing Venezuela with Brazil. I think all of South America was like one piece in Risk. But there’s still nothing finer than seeing two girls with with big fake yabbos and a poor command of the English language grabbing each others bikinis at the beach. Screw a basket full of kittens or babies in fireman’s hats, this is where ¬†adorable begins and ends.

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News