Andrew Garfield Has To Tuck It Back

By Jack March 26, 2014 @ 2:41 PM

Andrew Garfield revealed that he puts a lot of thought into how much dick he tucks back in his Spiderman suit. An interviewer asked Garfield how he handled his package in the skin tight Spidey suit. Apparently, he spent a lot of time thinking about how much of his junk to tape up into his taint:

“It takes a lot of consideration. Because you don’t want it to be overwhelming and you don’t want it to be underwhelming. You don’t want it to intimidate and you don’t want it to … the opposite of intimidate. So yes, there is thought, but ultimately you have to trust that what you have is enough.”

Andrew’s girlfriend Emma Stone was also on hand for the interview and she seemed amused by the whole thing. Which I take to mean she doesn’t think he needs a whole lot of less intimidation down there. Girlfriends typically follow the code of silence in regard to their boyfriend’s male scale. At least until the relationship goes sour and they start drawing pictures of a tiny weenie and sending it around to all their giggling friends. Andrew, if I were you, I’d worry less about mythical ‘tape stories’ for the press and work on keeping Emma Stone happy forever.

Andrew Garfield May Have Let Down Cancer Boy

By Jack March 06, 2014 @ 4:09 PM

According to Page Six, Andrew Garfield broke the heart of a little kid with cancer. Garfield was set to present at the Oscars with 5 year old Miles Teller, a little boy battling cancer who loves superheroes, when he pitched a fit. It all began when San Francisco rallied around sick Miles, dressed him up as Batkid, and he got to meet a costumed Batman. Pretty fucking sweet. So, Garfield agreed to go on the Oscars and dub the kid an official superhero. Miles and his family came down to LA  and then everything went to shit. According to the report, Garfield refused to learn his lines and was apparently going off the cuff with inappropriate dialogue. There’s nothing worse than an actor off the hook. When the producers asked him to stop, he stormed away like he was pretending to be an angry man in an acting class scene and left little cancer Miles in tears. How the fuck could Spiderman do such a thing? I do not know. I’m sure he has some defense to his actions, none of which will stand up in the media to a five year old kid with cancer being disappointed.

Update: According to a million and one reports out there now, curiously, the fault lies with Oscar producers and Andrew in fact is a saintly saint who hung out with Miles at his hotel and then took him to Disneyland and then maybe to the Anaheim Cheetah’s champagne room for some VIP lap dances. Damn, that is nice.

Sony is deceptive

By brendon December 14, 2011 @ 1:26 PM

amazing_spider_man

There’s a line where clever marketing becomes outright lying, and Sony ran right past it with their ‘Amazing Spider-Man’ poster. It’s insulting enough that they’re remaking the number 1 movie of 2002, but now they’re acting like they’re not. A few details got changed but it’s still the same story. That goes for Sony and for the prosecutor in my date rape case, who acts like I should be able to remember where every single pill went like I’m a fucking computer.

(image source of andrew garfield on set = pacific coast)

the Spider-Man trailer is officially online

By brendon July 20, 2011 @ 3:35 PM

spiderman

Some dickhead bloggers already ruined the surprise, but the teaser trailer for the Spider-Man reboot is officially online today, and while I still don’t understand why we have to once again sit through the origin story that everyone already knows (*), seeing the final 30 seconds, when it kicks into POV mode, in full screen 1080, it already looks better than anything in the previous 3 movies. Then again, those movies had Kirsten Dunst in them, so I could say the same thing about my toilet.

(*) this is exactly why David Fincher passed on directing the first ‘Spider-Man’ movie in 1999: “But I wasn’t interested in the genesis, I just couldn’t shoot somebody being bitten by a radioactive spider – just couldn’t sleep knowing I’d done that.” Oh, but I think the article is mistaken and Wes Bentley from ‘American Beauty’ was his choice to play Peter Parker, not Ed Norton. This was really fascinating, wasn’t it?

Thursday headlines, with romance and danger!

By brendon June 23, 2011 @ 2:19 PM

alyssa_campanella_miss_usa

LINDSAY LOHANS PUBLICIST- is upset that someone sold a picture of an open wine bottle at Lindsays house because he would have paid more for it and her current drinking, “never would have been an issue.” Because if I can’t see the problem, there is no problem. That’s what I tell girls when they claim I got them pregnant too. (e!)

EMMA STONE AND ANDREW GARFIELD - are now dating. I bet she made him lasagna. (ny post)

DANIEL RADCLIFF – is on Broadway these days starring in ‘How To Succeed In Business Without Really Trying’, but last nights performance was cancelled because a 29-year-old stagehand died of cardiac arrest, the result of a drug overdose, right before the curtain went up. He should have asked Daniel about that Horcrux thing. (ny times)

MATT LAUER – flew from NY to LA on Tuesday to interview Lindsay Lohan, but then she locked herself in her bedroom and refused to do the interview she already agreed to for less than $100,000. This must be some of that dedication to hard work she’s so committed to now. (page six)

ALYSSA CAMPANELLA – is in New York doing promotion this week, which is nice because I keep forgetting that our current Miss USA is a hot ass ginger. Fuck you, Canada! (splash and wenn)

Spiderman seems different

By brendon February 04, 2011 @ 9:34 AM

Andrew Garfield On The Set Of 'Spider-Man 4' In Los Angeles 2

I’m not entirely sure I’m comfortable with the direction they’re taking this Spiderman reboot.

(image source = flynet)