By brendon October 13, 2010 @ 1:50 PM
Angelina Jolie is in Budapest today, making her directorial debut on a love story set during the Bosnian-Serbian war, and either she thinks genocide is funny or these two still really get along because she was giddy as a little girl when Brad Pitt showed up.
They’ve been together 7 years now, which is 8 years longer than the tabloids said they would be. Jennifer Aniston probably keeps an axe near her TV in case ‘Mr. and Mrs. Smith’ comes on, and fixates on the fact that Jolie only got the part because Nicole Kidman dropped out and Catherine Zeta Jones turned it down, but I bet Pitt would have left her for Zeta Jones or Kidman too. Why wouldn’t he? That bitch is awful. I’d rather be in a room with that thing in ‘Alien’ that lays eggs in your chest than Jennifer fucking Aniston.
(image source = splash news and inf)
By brendon September 15, 2010 @ 2:57 PM
When Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie and director Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck announced they were making ‘the Tourist’, I think we were all like, “finally.” The three of them, together at last. And then they filmed it in Paris and Venice, so I sort of assumed it was gonna be something different. Not… this.
This could have been made with Seth Rogan and Anne Hathaway and been the exact same movie. Or Katherine Heigl and Russell Brand. If Depp and Brand are ever reading the same script, Depp needs to slap whoever gave it to him. This thing is one “holding onto a priceless vase during a fight so it doesn’t break but then after the fight the girl opens the door and he’s behind it and it does break” away from being a Jackie Chan and Teri Hatcher movie.
By brendon September 07, 2010 @ 1:35 PM
As part of her work with the UN Human Refugee Agency, Angelina Jolie spent the weekend visiting Pakistan, “to draw the world’s attention towards the plight of 21 million people affected by the country’s worst-ever floods.” And I don’t know about you, but now I’m super motivated to help Pakistan. They were doing so great until this, so friendly and helpful, not insane or murderously violent at all. FAST FACT: Pakistan’s leading export is Smiles.
(seriously though, fuck these people. if I could I’d mail them a bucket of water to make the flood worse.)
By brendon August 17, 2010 @ 1:58 PM
Yesterday everyone in Hollywood was freaking out over the casting of Angelina Jolie as Marilyn Monroe and Rooney Mara as Lisbeth Salander. Oh I know, right! It was crazy! You can’t make this stuff up!
But today Jolie has announced she will not be starring in the biopic that was to cover the last two years of Monroes life as told from the perspective of her dog (seriously). It’s easy to assume she passed because that idea is clearly retarded, but it’s still 10 times smarter than that Loom of Fate bullshit in “Wanted” so who knows.
Rooney Mara however, is absolutely taking the lead in David Finchers version of “The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo”. She beat out Natalie Portman, Ellen Page, and Scarlett Johansson for it, and now she has to at least equal the performance by Noomi Rapace in the popular Swedish versions of these movies. Meaning she has to look at the ground when she talks and pretend to type on a computer. Better keep Portman on deck just in case.
By brendon July 26, 2010 @ 12:01 PM
Angelina Jolie was in Moscow this weekend for the Russian premiere of ‘Salt’, and while being her typical fan-friendly self, she gave some girl a kiss. It wasn’t hot in any way, but it was enough to bring back memories of when this picture was taken at the premiere of the second Tomb Raider movie, when she kissed some random girl like they were secret lovers. It was one of the most sensual things I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen Ass Traffic 1-8, so I know what I’m talking about.
(image source = splash news online)
By brendon July 23, 2010 @ 12:46 PM
Angelina Jolie is still the best looking
woman anything on earth, and Roger Ebert gave her new movie 4 stars (“It’s exhilarating to see a genre picture done really well.”) but just in case those weren’t enough to promote ‘Salt’, she wore a skin tight outfit for her panel at Comic-Con last night (here she is answering a question about my dong).
Brad Pitt was also supposed to be there to promote ‘Megamind’, but he was busy filming ‘Moneyball’. It’s a little surprising he didn’t make it because he’s well know to be fan friendly. In a related story, if I got to be have sex with Angelina Jolie whenever I wanted, I’d be well known to be the worlds largest source of semen.
(image source = splash news online)