Angelina Jolie is in France all week for the Cannes Film Festival, and yesterday she was caught changing her top on the patio of the villa where she and Brad Pitt are staying. The statue behind her is also naked if any of you perverts care about that. If the price is right, maybe I can steal it for you. Because I’m so strong. In the criminal underworld, they call me Lifto The Amazing.
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The cast of "Kung Fu Panda" walked the red carpet at Cannes today (nice film festival you have there fags), which meant the world was once again subjected to Jack Blacks hilarious antics. Oh, look. He’s doing a little thing there. Like kung fu. Get it? Because the movie is about kung fu. And I guess he’s maybe protecting a super pregnant Angelina from the press, who pose no threat in any way whatsoever. And he’s doing that with kung fu. You see, the joke begins with the premise of the movie, which is kung fu, so here Jack is doing a kung fu move, thus reminding the audience of the movie. Reminding people of things = super super funny. Hey, remember "Patriot Games"? That was also a movie. HAHAHA!
I do like the beard though, but only because it makes him look like one of those fat twins on the tiny motorbikes. He should have come out like that. See, just picturing that is already 10 billion times funnier than anything Jack Black has ever done.
NOTE - I accidentally typed Hack Black for the tag but I’m keeping it for obvious reasons.
Angelina Jolie is in Cannes this week to promote King Fu panda, and god knows why they would know but co-stars Jack Black and Dustin Hoffman told the press that Angelina was in fact expecting twins, and they are due on August 19. People magazine says…
First, Jolie's Kung Fu Panda costar Jack Black spilled the beans and confirmed that Jolie and partner Brad Pitt are expecting twins. Now fellow costar Dustin Hoffman has revealed her due date!
The big day? Today show reporter Natalie Morales revealed on Thursday's program that Hoffman told her the babies were due Aug. 19.
The new arrivals will be the fifth and sixth children for the Jolie and Pitt. The family currently consists of Maddox, 6, Pax, 4, Zahara, 3, and Shiloh, who turns 2 this month.
"I'm very happy," said Jolie, 33, according to Today. "Unlike most women, I love being pregnant. [It makes] you feel like more like a woman than you've ever felt. You just feel like everything about your body is there for your baby."
During the on-air interview, Jolie said that she would "possibly" stay in France for the births, and that she and Pitt preferred not to disclose the sex of the babies.
The rest of the rumor of course is that Angelina is expecting twin girls. Repeat: Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have produced twin girls. To go along with their blond haired, blue eyed sister. This family is basically what Hitler sees when he closes his eyes and daydreams.
Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt came home from their extra fancy Monaco trip last night, but they spent the day on a yacht owned by Paul Allen, the co-founder of Microsoft (net worth – 16.8 billion). Pax and Maddox climbed all around his helicopter and rode jet skis all day. After that they used big bags with dollar signs on them as pillows during a nap, then had a diamond fight on a pterodactyl. Presumably.
Maddox and Brad and Angelina and … um … the other ones went for a boat ride in Monaco yesterday, and by the looks of it Maddox got to second base with his mom. Later they slow danced under the stars. No not really but I bet that little pimp thought about it.
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Shiloh Jolie-Pitt looks so much like her dad it's creepin me out. I don’t need to see girl versions of famous guys. Luckily Angelina is still insanely hot. If Angelina got naked and then told me to put my hand in a guillotine and then chopped it off, and then the next day she got naked and told me to put my other hand in a guillotine and then chopped it off, and then the next day she got naked and told me to put my foot in a guillotine and then she chopped it off, and then the next day she got naked and told me to put my other foot in a guillotine, I would still do it just to see where she was headed with this.
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