angelina jolie looked hot as hell at the ‘salt’ premiere

By brendon July 20, 2010 @ 4:07 PM


Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have been together 6 years now, and occasionally some jackass will claim they hate each other again, but you seem to hear that way less than you used to. Probably because they stubbornly refuse to break up, and instead insist on looking happy at things like last nights premiere of Jolies movie ‘Salt’.

She might be crazy and her legs sort of look like she’s been in a wheelchair for the past 3 years, but she’s still one of the hottest women on earth. If I were Pitt the only way I’d ever sleep with someone other than Angelina is if it turns out there’s two of them.

(source = getty images)

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monday afternoon headlines

By brendon June 21, 2010 @ 7:04 PM


PAGET BREWSTER – is the best comedic actress in Hollywood (and she does amazing impressions of black people), so I’m selfishly happy that CBS is run by fumbling idiots who plan on essentially firing the entire female cast of ‘Criminal Minds’, despite the overwhelming objections (1, 2) from the shows fans (“the fans can suck my dick”, replied CBS while pointing at its crotch). Hopefully now she’ll go back to comedy. I also like it when disaster strikes and I can buy stocks like BP real cheap. I’m all about me! It’s time to start looking out for number 1, baby! (jezebel)

ORLANDO BLOOM AND MIRANDA KERR – are engaged. If they start a family the kids would be like someone genetically engineered a human being solely for me to be completely, 100 percent indifferent to. (la times)

HOW TO GROW BUD – has pictures of girls in bikinis getting high. I don’t personally smoke, but I do like telling the government to go fuck themselves, and I do like girls who are mostly naked and easily talked into things. This is a great website. (htgb)

DAVE BATISTA - is this guy, and he may or may not be following Brock Lesnar and going from WWE to MMA. TMZ says he is but the promotion he allegedly signed with says it’s not true. I don’t know what this has to do with celebrity gossip btw, but I’m the only one who works here, and I gotta post somethin. Tomorrow be sure to check out my recipe for Raisin Roundies! My secret is a pinch of cinnamon! (mma frenzy)

ANGELINA JOLIE - is in Haiti today as part of her UN tour, but you’ll have to take Es word for it because this picture isn’t labeled. Where’s Angie, which one is Angie? E! needs to get their shit together. (e!)

SALMA HAYEK – will be on Letterman tonight, where she’ll discuss married life, her baby, and upcoming projects while Dave pretends not to stare at her tits. (splash)


angelina jolie is sarcastic

By brendon June 18, 2010 @ 5:04 PM


Angelina Jolie is in Ecuador today for the UN, visiting a daycare run by the Women’s Federation of Sucumbios. I know she’s a much better person than I am, but it still seems pointlessly cruel to hand out rubber hamburgers in this god awful land before time, where there’s no men in these pictures because they’re off throwing spears at an airplane. Maybe after this she can call everyone down to the beach and watch her pour penicillin into the ocean. But at least Angelina didn’t wear a $50,000 outfit like that mean old cunt Madonna, so I guess that was a start.

friday morning headlines

By brendon June 11, 2010 @ 10:16 AM


ELIZA DUSHKU - posted this hot picture on twitter from the NBA Finals between the Lakers and Celtics. Her boyfriend Rick Fox is mostly famous for his time as a Laker but he was drafted by the Celtics. Going over to the other side is something Rick and Eliza have in common, it would seem. (twitter)

BRADLEY COOPER AND RENEE ZELLWEGER - might be getting married. Or they might not be. Life is funny like that. (wonderwall)

LINDSAY LOHAN - needs a new assistant because the last one just quit. Wait, she had an assistant? For what? I don’t mean to brag but a daily routine of sleeping until 4pm and then getting drunk at Marmount seems like something I could manage all by myself. (popeater)

twitter ………. facebook ………. emo alpaca

monday afternoon headlines

By brendon June 07, 2010 @ 6:30 PM

spike tv awards 2 060610

GARY COLEMANS – ex wife is doing everything she can to look as guilty as possible, including cremating his body and selling pictures she took of him while he died and after he died. She also got one of those full size rear window stickers that says “fuck tha police”. (tmz, tmz)

ANGELINA JOLIE - reportedly slept with Ethan Hawke while he was married to Uma Thurman. Why would Hawke sleep with a girl way way better looking with a perfect face and bigger tits? We may never know. (star)

MARISA MILLER – was at the Spike Guys Choice Award Saturday night, and long story short, I banged her. (wenn)


angelina jolie is attractive

By brendon April 09, 2010 @ 1:12 PM


Angelina Jolie is still in Venice to make a movie with Johnny Depp called ‘the Tourist’, and today she filmed some action scenes in the canals. Speaking of action scenes in various canals, her ass looks terrific. I wonder if she does anal? She’s insane cool, so I assume she does. Aw god I would annihilate that. There would be smoke coming out, if she stuck her ass in the air it would look like the steam engine on an old riverboat.

(source = inf daily)