I have no rational explanation for why I don’t hate Ryan Seacrest, but I don’t. There I said it. I know I should, but I don’t. I think hosting live TV is really really really hard. That’s why no one does it. But he does it as well as you can, especially considering the goofy crap he’s asked to host. Anyway, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt don’t appear to be as open-minded as me, as you can tell by the way they completely ignored him on the Golden Globes red carpet last night. No one has been shot down that harshly since Jessica Alba tried to give me a blowjob in the bathroom at Hyde. I have a girlfriend Jess. Deal with it.
Brad Pitt tells W magazine this month that he never cheated on Jennifer Aniston with Angelina Jolie while they (Pitt and Jolie) were filming "Mr. and Mrs. Smith". Although he should have. Jeez this bitch is ugly. Pitt says…
"What people don't understand is that we filmed 'Mr. and Mrs. Smith' for a year. We were still filming after Jen and I split up. Even then it doesn't mean that there was some kind of dastardly affair. There wasn't. I'm very proud of the way that it was handled. It was respectful." "Listen, man, Jen is a sweetheart. I think she got dragged into that one, and then there's a second round to all that Angie versus Jen. It's so created. Jen and I still check in with each other. She was a big part of my life, and me hers. I don't see how there cannot be that. That's life, man. That's life."
It's funny to think that Nicole Kidman was originally cast as Jane Smith and even shot a few scenes before she had to drop out and got replaced by Jolie (who was actually the third choice). Funny for me that is. Jen probably doesn’t think it's as cute. Because it ruined her life and haunts her to this day. It's why she started doing heroin. What, she doesn’t do heroin? Oh, well whatever. What am I, a detective.
I think if Angelina Jolie bent over in front of you like this, I think you should be allowed to start humping her. Wait, no, not you. Me. After all, this website brings joy to the hearts of millions, and isn’t that what Angelina wants, for people to be happy?
In Touch Weekly, which gets some credibility here because they broke the news of her being pregnant with twins, now says Angelina Jolie is pregnant again, for the third time, with bf Brad Pitt. If true, it would be her seventh child. The Daily Mail says…
In an 'exclusive' report the publication, which hits news stands tomorrow, states: 'An excited Angie can't stop talking about the new baby. So why doesn't Brad seem thrilled?' Jolie and partner Brad Pitt's spokesman has denied the reports, leading other U.S. outlets to rubbish the claims. However In Touch has consistently repeated the reports in recent weeks. In recent weeks Jolie has given countless interviews about her desire to expand their family even further. At the launch of the DVD for Kung Fu Panda last week she told reporters: 'Anything could happen. We're open to anything, we love kids and we're having a great time. It's chaos in our house, but it's so much fun. We'll definitely have more.'
So this would be the fourth (assuming she doesn't have twins again) time Angelina has given birth in just about four years. Jesus Christ, at what point does the fire marshal shut her vagina down because there are too many people in there?
According to the New York Times, Angelina Jolie (who looks disturbingly like Russell Brand in that picture) uses her fame and celebrity status to manipulate her press coverage and get almost complete control over the content in her interviews. All celebrities ask for this, of course, the story here is that Jolie actually gets it.
When Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt negotiated with People and other celebrity magazines this summer for photos of their newborn twins and an interview, the stars were seeking more than the estimated $14 million they received from the deal. They also wanted a hefty slice of journalistic input — a promise that the winning magazine’s coverage would be positive, not merely in that instance but into the future. According to the deal offered by Ms. Jolie, the winning magazine was obliged to offer coverage that would not reflect negatively on her or her family, according to two people with knowledge of the bidding who were granted anonymity because the talks were confidential. The deal also asked for an “editorial plan” providing a road map of the layout, these people say. The winner was People. The resulting package in its Aug. 18 issue — the magazine’s best-selling in seven years — was a publicity coup for Ms. Jolie, the Oscar winner and former Hollywood eccentric who wore a necklace ornamented with dried blood and talked about her fondness for knives before transforming herself into a philanthropist, United Nations good-will ambassador and devoted mother of six.
Oh that hot bitch. She was already the sexiest bitch on earth, but it's even hotter to know she's this powerful. It would be like having sex with a superhero, or god. She should get one of those fortresses carved into a mountain, and a big wall of monitors that she can sit in front of in a big egg shaped chair. And she could tap her fingers together and shout After Him You Fools if she sees something on the monitors she doesn’t like. I can't be the only one who is super turned on right now.
Angelina Jolie is on the cover of this months "Harpers Bazaar" (here for full size), and she's so impossibly good looking they might as well have shown her riding two dolphins like ski’s with her hands on her hips and winking at me naked, except for an American flag that she's wearing like a cape. That’s about the only way she could look any more perfect.
