Last night was the much anticipated Hollywood premiere of Brad Pitts “Inglorious Basterds”, and jesus christ Angelina Jolie is still the hottest piece of ass on the planet and it’s not even close. And I’ve officially had it with all the dumb rumors of their imminent demise. Look at the way she looks at him. Why would she fake this? It’s not like she gains anything by pretending to date someone. I can’t even get my girlfriend to make me a fuckin sandwich, much less put on a tight leather dress and pretend to fawn all over me.
(hq jump here. 18 more here. image source = getty)
The Quentin Tarantino / Brad Pitt WWII movie “Inglourious Basterds” had it’s Berlin premiere yesterday, and that’s not just an unfortunate picture of Pitt at the after-party up top. OK! says he and beer were there until around 2am. Your liver turns black if you drink too much. Maybe if he keeps going Angelina will adopt it.
(hq jump here. source = wenn)
One time that dipshit who plays the lead moron on that piece-of-shit show “Entourage” made sure the paparazzi were ready with their cameras before he gave a quarter to a homeless guy (link).
In an unrelated story, Angelina Jolie made a trip to the Walter Reed Military Hospital in Washington, D.C. back on June 26th. No one reported on this until now because she didn’t tell anyone. She spent several hours with wounded soldiers and gave each one a gift bag which included, among other things, a $1000 gift certificate to Best Buy.
This is more proof that Angelina is awesome and that the “Entourage” dork needs a kick in the face. I would hire an assassin to track and eliminate him but I’m not sure how to do that. I entered “ninja” and then my area code into google but that wasn’t much help
BRAD PITT AND ANGELINA JOLIE - donated $1 million to a U.N. agency providing aid to refugees in Pakistan. This is just days after they gave the same amount to a hospital in Missouri. In a related story, Jennifer Lopez rolled down the window of her limo and yelled, “Why don’t you get a house, jerk!” to a homeless guy, then high-fived her friends as the driver sped away. (source = the ap)
JON GOSSELIN - was caught smoking what looks to be a joint. Luckily that’s legal if you’re married to Kate Gosselin, which he is. (source = radar)
ELLE MACPHERSON - as the worlds hottest 45-year-old dropped her kids off at school in London, this guy with the scooter had to feel even cooler than he usually does. I hope she doesn’t blow him right there, right in front of the kids. (14 more pics from today and Saturday = here. hq jump = here. source = wenn, fame and getty)
WEEKEND BOX OFFICE - The Hangover is the first movie of the summer to be number 1 two weeks in a row, adding 33m to its 105m total. Up was second with 30m (187m total), and Pelham 1 2 3 opened in one two third with 25m. Hopefully Zach Galifianakis will now be the huge star he deserves to be. It would also be terrific if this somehow led to Kate Beckinsale letting me nail her in the ass. (source = Variety)
BRAD PITT AND ANGELINA JOLIE - gave 1 million dollars to a children’s hospital in Pitts home state of Missouri. The cancer center there will be renamed the Jane Pitt Pediatric Cancer Center, in honor of Brads mom. And the psyche ward, specializing in obsession and paranoid delusion, will be renamed in honor of Brads ex-wife. Zing! (e! online)
ANNA PAQUIN - went topless on last nights episode of True Blood. And this time I can prove it. Not like all those times before, when I would lie about having topless pictures of Anna Paquin on True Blood to sound like a big shot. (full size NSFW version here, slightly brighter uhq copy here)
Earlier today there was a post with the headline, “It’s an official split”. And there was an ominous picture that showed Brad and Angelina looking in opposite directions. As if in life, as well as at Cannes. But this post has cute kissy-face pictures, which can only mean one thing. As previously implied by the headline, Brad and Angelina have not broken up and in fact are still very much together.
I sent an email to someone who is very very very close to Angelina, and asked about the story in the Enquirer. The reply was the quote you see in the headline.
Now you may be wondering, is this true? Is the source covering for Angelina? The answer is a definitive, how the hell do I know? I didn’t torture the guy. In my original email I did include an “angry face” made with arrow keys and slash marks to send the message that I’m not screwing around and I need the truth, but it might have looked more like a laughing Chinese man in a hat, so I’m not sure they got that message.
