By brendon March 15, 2007 @ 1:18 AM

Angelina Jolie has successfully completed the adoption process for her new son and they could be back in the United States as early as tomorrow.  The three-year-old boy was picked up late last night after Jolie received the official adoption agreement from the Vietnamese orphanage where the boy has been residing since November of 2003.  The only remaining hurdle is for Jolie to meet with U.S. consular officials who must review the adoption before a passport can be issued for the boy. says:

Vietnamese press claim that that the boy is named Pham Quang Sang and will be renamed Pax Thien Jolie. Pax means "peace" in Latin and Thien is "sky" in Vietnamese. Local press also reports that Jolie's new son cried and hid during the official ceremony, and that the actress comforted him in Vietnamese. Jolie's other adopted son, Maddox, was also present.  Jolie and her two children finished the ceremony by 10 a.m. local time and then returned to their hotel.

Man, this kid is so lucky.  Most people cant pull off wearing rainbow socks, but he makes it look cool.  Then again, a recent poll of one Vietnamese guy I saw in a movie on Showtime revealed that 100 percent of Vietnamese people plan their criminal activities while walking with a tiger around the pool in a silver thong and mirrored sunglasses, so, based on my awesome level of racism, there’s really no limit to the fashion daring of these people.


By brendon March 14, 2007 @ 11:33 AM

Angelina Jolie arrived in Ho Chi Minh City today – without Brad Pitt but with her son Maddox -  to adopt a 3-year-old boy from Vietnam. Although earlier reports said the adoption would not go through until the end of the month, Us Weekly is now reporting Jolie may leave with the boy as soon as tonight.  If they do leave today, they could be back in the United States by this weekend. says:

Jolie is scheduled to attend an adoption ceremony with Vietnamese officials in HMC City on Thursday morning … After she receives the child, Jolie will meet with U.S. consular officials, who must review the adoption before a passport can be issued for the boy.  If all goes according to plan, the 31-year-old actress could bring the child home by the weekend, officials told the AP.

Aww this lucky bastard.  He gets to live with Angelina Jolie.  I was just planning on digging up her grave after she dies, but his idea seems much better.


By brendon March 13, 2007 @ 10:16 AM

Angelina Jolie will be able to pick up her newly adopted Vietnamese son faster than expected because her application is being processed so quickly.  The three year old boy – who was abandoned at a Ho Chi Minh City Hospital as a baby and then taken to a nearby orphanage where he has lived ever since – may arrive in as little as three weeks.  Sky News says:

"He is in good health, but he's a little bit shy.  He gets along well with other children and loves to play football."

Aww this little bastard.  He’s a dude and now he gets to go live with Angelina Jolie.  I bet he signed whatever he had to and dotted the I's with little hearts.  If I were this kid I would act up 8 times a day until I got a spanking.  And to show her how sorry I was I would show up with a ball gag in my mouth whenever it was time to be disciplined.  Please believe me when I tell you that Angelina Jolie could breath fire and I would still beg her for a blow job.


By brendon March 12, 2007 @ 8:51 AM

As a United Nations ambassador, Angelina Jolie often travels to some of the worst places on earth, sometimes at great personal risk, and these trips are becoming more and more troubling for her boyfriend Brad Pitt.  Now Jolie admits those fears were almost realized.  She tells a London paper that there was a recent plot to kidnap her, and it was only foiled at the last minute.  Jolie says:

"It was in a small village.  I won't say where, or with whom, but some gangsters planned to kidnap me and extort a massive ransom. I was warned at the last minute, and managed to escape, luckily."

Despite this, Jolie says she has no intention of curbing her trips to global hotspots.

"I don't want to act like the Mother Teresa of Hollywood, but I want to help where there is poverty and destruction. I love Brad very much and on our trips we pull together as a team. Things only get difficult when it affects our children."

Wow this chick is like one of the damned Super Friends, traveling wherever it sucks to see if she can help.  I kinda do the same thing in my home movies starring my stuffed animals and my rocket ship made up of a recliner tipped backwards.  We sometimes “gotta get outa here” because it “looks like we got company”.   Does that make me a hero, like Angelina?  Yes.  Yes it does.  The greatest hero of all, some would say.


By brendon March 02, 2007 @ 11:26 AM

Despite recent denials to the contrary, US magazine is reporting today that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are in the process of adopting a child from Vietnam.   Interestingly, the adoption agency in Vietnam says Jolie applied to adopt as a single parent.  Jolie and Pitt visited the country last Thanksgiving and toured an orphanage on the edge of Ho Chi Minh City.  The couple reportedly wants to adopt a boy around 3 or 4 years of age.  The director of Vietnam's International Adoption Agency says:

"Yes, they have started the procedure to adopt a child in Vietnam.  They have to follow all the procedures like any other American.  They will have to work with the American side. No priority will be given to them, that means they will be treated equally as any other people."

It's obvious they didn't ask Maddox about this, because – umm, how do I put this – Vietnam doesn't rank real high with other Asian cultures.  Don't worry about how I know, but trust me when I tell you that a lot of Asian cultures don't get along, but they all agree to dislike the Vietnamese.  Brad should go to one of the sexy Asian countries, like Thailand or wherever that chick from Battlestar Galactica is from.  I think it's Korea.  Or a Korean chick who lives in Thailand.  According to my webcam, the girls over there are real friendly.  They all have giggly pillow fights and sexy bondage parties.  And why not.  It's Thailand, man.  No rules.


By brendon February 23, 2007 @ 9:41 AM

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt reportedly want to adopt another baby, this time a boy from Vietnam.  The couple, of course, has already adopted a boy from Cambodia and a little girl from Ethiopia and they had their first natural (real) baby last year.   Brad and Angelina visited the Vietnamese orphanage together in November and Angelina returned alone last month.  It is said they have already filed adoption papers.   Us Weekly says:

"Angelina and Brad have filed papers with the US Citizenship and Immigration services to adopt a boy from the Tam Binh orphanage in Ho Chi Minh City."

Hmm.  I've never trusted the Vietnamese ever since Pearl Harbor.  I'm still convinced they were involved somehow.   Your day is coming you wily bastards.  TRUTH TO POWER!