By brendon April 23, 2012 @ 1:24 PM
Because Jennifer Aniston would literally die if she had to sit back for the next few months and watch Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie plan their romantic storybook wedding, Jennifer Aniston and her boyfriend Justin Theroux are apparently getting married now too. Except even sooner, and even more romantic storybookier.
Sources connected with the Elounda Beach Hotel in Crete (where Aniston’s dad was born, located about 230 miles south of Greece) tell TMZ … Aniston was there recently, scoping the place out. Our sources say Aniston mentioned a July wedding.??
Crete sounds like a good choice because I don’t think that’s even a real fucking place and maybe her desperation isn’t as well known there as it is everywhere else. All the hours Aniston has spent daydreaming, arranging a roomful of cardboard cut-outs of famous people placed in chairs like an awards show rehearsal and then having someone say they agree to marry her, will finally pay off.
By brendon April 17, 2012 @ 7:47 PM
There hasn’t been any word about when Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie will eventually get married, or where (though their home in France seems likely because the ceremony will probably be small and quiet and the French have better privacy laws), or if they’ll get a prenup first, but if they do, it’s gonna take a while to spell everything out.
According to Forbes, Brad, is worth an estimated $150 million, while Angelina is worth a whopping $120 million, a net worth equaling $270 million.
“The chances of them not having a pre-nup is slim and zip,” Goldie Schon, Los Angeles attorney, tells Celebuzz. “You can’t imagine that with this type of wealth and this type of stature that they’re not going to protect themselves so that they don’t have a situation in the future.”
Actually I would be surprised if they did get one. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie don’t really give a fuck what other people do or think. They’re not driven by perception or self interest. This isn’t Kim Kardashian, who really needs to be enlightened.
Wait, does “enlightened” mean “hit by lightning”, because that’s what I’m trying to say.
By brendon April 16, 2012 @ 8:17 PM
Angelina Jolie went by the Roosevelt Hotel in Hollywood today, showing off her new engagement ring and what some are calling “her bony physique.” So every girl out there should go get a bony physique I guess, because Angelina Jolie is super rich and engaged to Brad Pitt so she seems to know what she’s doing.
(image source = inf)
By brendon April 13, 2012 @ 5:58 PM
A jeweler in Beverly Hills told the Hollywood Reporter that he and Brad Pitt designed an engagement ring for Angelina Jolie, a ring she was seen wearing Wednesday night at the Los Angeles County Museum of Art with Pitt and their son Pax.
“Brad had a specific vision for this ring, which he realized over a yearlong collaboration. He wanted every aspect of it to be perfect, so I was able to locate a diamond of the finest quality and cut it to an exact custom size and shape to suite Angelina’s hand. Brad was always heavily involved, overseeing every aspect of the creative design evolution. The side diamonds are specially cut to encircle her finger. Each diamond is of the highest gem quality.”
Someone should probably go hide Jennifer Anistons belts and shoelaces just in case.
By brendon February 27, 2012 @ 12:06 PM
Thanks to Billy Crystal and his war against comedy, you were no doubt fast asleep by the time Angelina Jolie walked on stage last night and showed off her legs while presenting the Academy Award for Best Adapted Screenplay. So you missed it when Jim Rash (who plays Dean Pelton on ‘Community’!) and Nat Faxon (who has a lot to learn about campfire safety, according to Blake Griffin in this Kia commercial!) sort of made fun of her and stood in the same awkward pose that she did (which you can see in the hastily edited video above).
But it was all in good fun, according to the Hollywood Reporter…
Faxon’s reaction backstage to the idea that the team was making fun of her: “Angelina’s supremely hot. There’s no way to do anything but honor her.”
Rash added, “I had just seen her pose and thought it was bold and fun. And you know what? We have exactly the same legs! Really, it was a loving tribute and nothing but.”
Lots of people are making fun of Angelina today, and I’m probably supposed to join in because a girl who makes Jennifer Aniston cry constantly and who is really skinny and dresses slutty is apparently supposed to bother me. Oh and it does, in the same sense that it bothers a bear when you give him a pot of honey.
(image source = getty)
By brendon February 08, 2012 @ 11:54 AM
Jennifer Aniston tells the March issue of InStyle that she’s tired of seeing magazines talking about her and Brad Pitt for no reason. Magazines such as the March issue of InStyle, which has an interview where Jennifer Aniston starts talking about Brad Pitt for no reason.
“There are so many [misconceptions about me],” Jen says, adding that the most annoying one is “the triangle with my ex-husband — and that there’s a feud there.”
“It’s constant,” she adds. “It’s a story headline that won’t go away, but it’s a money thing – [people make money off] a story that has nothing to do with reality.”
She then goes on to explain that Pitt has no place in her heart anymore, except for being the gold standard that all other men are measured against.
But, Jen reassures fans that she is over that drama and ready to live out the rest of her life with a good man, whom she may have found in beau Justin Theroux.
“Having experienced everything you don’t want in a partner over time, it starts to narrow down what you actually do want,” Jen admits. “As I get older, I realize what qualities are important in love and what suits me. And what I won’t settle for.”
Wow she’s a real role model for the ladies out there. Before her current boyfriend, guys kept leaving to go bang someone better, and it was then that Jennifer started to wonder if the relationship was working. So she just let them go. Granted the guys didn’t know it because they were long gone by then, but she really put her foot down and said enough.